Desert Rose

Author: Danyu amerikajin

WARNING: This Fan-fiction is Sexually Explicit. It is intended for readers 18 years of age or older.

Shikamaru Temari Pairing.

Characters and Settings by Masashi Kishimoto.

Note:Lemon.

Note: (( I hope you like the style this one is written in I tried to do it a bit different this time writing from the point of view of each character I recently finished The Twilight series and I couldn't help but try to imitate Stephanie Meyer's style. I hope you like it. Please Read and Review))

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Shikamaru:

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I couldn't help yawning. It was a big one and my eyes watered sleepily because of it. As I continued to stare up at the slow moving clouds, I put my hands behind my head and continued my day dream. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes and enjoyed staring at the soothing darkness for a few minutes. Suddenly I could see a figure in the distance someone that smelled like...the desert. I opened my eyes as my heart gave a tiny jolt "That’s way too troublesome" I said out loud knowing that no one would hear me. I sat up and sighed. I stood up and slid my hands in my pocket I know what the truth is but I've spent so much time avoiding this kind of hassle that I can’t believe it would be so easy for it to come from the most unexpected source.

I started the long walk to the gate, no rush though. As usual I kept a slow and steady pace. It took a few minutes to start passing through the busiest part of town, and as expected I heard some familiar voices.

"...Double the toppings today old man..."

It took some control to fight back my smile, I shook my head you would think that a ninja would know not to be so predictable all the time. I felt the small tick of my heart again. I could feel an all too familiar and troublesome feeling begin to rise in me. Heh I suppose I don’t have any right to talk.

As I continued toward the gate I ignored everything else on the way sighing at the feeling that was beginning to get stronger inside me. Too troublesome the stronger it became the harder it was to ignore almost as if I were ...anxious. Finally I made it to the gate and I could smell the same scent as the person in my daydream I let the corners of my mouth curve up slightly then I managed to fight it back and replace it with my usual expression No need to let her know what I'm really thinking, or feeling.

"So your back again then?" I said in an indifferent tone eyeing the loose ends of the black headband that weaved through her golden hair. Her back was too me and I kind of enjoyed the view as she turned the windswept by her and the scent wafted straight at me. Desert flowers an extremely exotic scent so inviting that it even managed to sap my composure for the slightest moment. I managed to regain my composure just before she got turned all the way around. As I caught a glimpse of her face I felt that same twitch of my heart again.

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Temari:

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I fought back the sudden feeling of relief that swept over me as I let my eyes take in my usual "guide". I took a step toward him. I suddenly wanted to say a million things to him. They all flashed in my mind so fast they overlapped each other and confused me for a second. I pushed them all aside and placed a hand on my hip deliberately cocking it to the side in an attempt to show off I suppose it was an almost subconscious maneuver I had never even wanted to attempt before. "I could say the same to you Shikamaru" I said with my most whimsical tone it came out impossibly short of what it sounded like in my head and I stood plainly again. I let my eyes lock on his and I felt my heart give a harsh twitch in surprise. I froze; his gaze was so intense despite himself that I was always shocked when I stared into them. I inhaled a deep breath quickly recovering from my pause and blinked curling my lips into a tiny smile.

"So are you just going to stand there staring or are you going to take me where I need to go?" I said in a playfully mocking tone failing again in my attempt at a cute voice. I stepped toward him again looking very slightly up at him. I saw it again the scenario that played out despite my protests so often in my daydreams. I always looked up at him slightly just before I ... I shook my head so slightly it was hopefully unnoticeable and fought back the burning in my cheeks as I stepped to his side.

"Well let’s get going" I said coolly as I slowly started moving forward. I inhaled another subtle deep breath as he quickly turned to walk with me. I glanced over at him for a second. I really wish he wouldn't act like everything was such a pain. I looked away as he looked over at me. I could feel that burning starting to creep up again, even from the side his face was strangely distracting. I took the time to really look at it as we walked. He wasn't what you would call drop dead gorgeous. I know I’ve seen guys who were so much better looking I couldn't even look at them twice. Still something about him made my cheeks burn it was nothing like those guys you see with no shirt on in the magazines. This was more realistic and no less intense. Why though? I began to question myself. He’s always complaining and he’s a pain, he’s pretty average looking no more than a little above average at the most. So why does it make my blush just looking at his face. I felt my heart give a fierce twitch and quickly looked forward. I crossed my arms in front of me and this time I couldn’t hide my blush. I know why, but how could that have happened without me even realizing it until just now. I looked down at my arms and they were crossed resting over my heart now. I quickly dropped them and shook off the blush. Just because I knew it doesn’t mean he should...yet.

"So where are we going Shikamaru?" I asked fixing my eyes on him again, this time carefully trying to ignore the feeling that my realization was beginning to generate. I suddenly felt an urge to touch his cheek but I suppressed it quickly. I felt my arms beg to touch him. Grab his arm; hold his hand touch his face. I crossed them over each other again and looked down at them for a moment. I could feel a burning in my cheeks again as I stopped walking. I could see him turn toward me. I only had a second to make my decision but it was far to embarrassing to say here in the street. I laughed at myself Geez I'm a Suna Jounin one of the sand siblings once feared...well that was mostly because of Gaara but the point is why this is so embarrassing. I made up my mind and raised my eyes to him

"Shikamaru will you follow me?” I asked trying to look up at him from under my eyelashes, my attempt at flirting I suppose I just hoped it would increase the chances of him accepting. I waited impatiently for an answer I swear if he says it’s too troublesome I’m going to slug him so hard. The impatience built up in me and I clutched my hand in my cross armed grip. Suddenly I was very aware of the burning in my cheeks.

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Shikamaru:

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I watched blinked slowly in time with the flutter my heart made when she looked up at me from under her eyelashes it wasn't fair that something so ridiculous would work in real life, perhaps even better than it does in the movies. I looked at her for a minute before I noticed that she was blushing. I ran through some thoughts in my mind for a moment. Then I blinked Ha so much for being a genius, it doesn’t matter if I can win every battle I’m ever in and beat everyone I play in Shougi no amount of planning could help me now. I let all this sink in and sweep over me very quickly. Finally I let out the softest sigh I could manage which was difficult considering the increasing difficulty of breathing and my heart rate.

"Alright Temari, Lead the way" I said finally and then I could feel a burning in my own cheeks I wondered if it matched hers. I started down the street following her I tried to figure out what she was thinking as we walked a fool’s errand to be sure but it was something I felt was important in this situation. As much as I hate doing troublesome things it’s even worse when I don't know what I'm about to do. Luckily my attempts at deciphering her thoughts passed the time and when I broke my concentration we were standing at a door. I recognized it instantly it’s the door to the place she stays every time she comes to Konoha. Why would we have come here though? I blinked clearly whatever it is she wanted me to follow her for is something private. I almost smiled if she did decide to turn on me being inside would be beneficial to me. I laughed at my own thoughts and shook my head as Temari gave me a confused glance. She opened the door and I stepped inside looking around. Of course it looked identical to the last time I was in here, last time it was a very brief visit though. I turned as I heard the click of the door latching.

"So what is it Temari?" I said finally letting my curiosity get the best of me.

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Temari:

---

I stood in front of the door looking at him for a moment I had thought in through in my head on the way over. Knowing him he'd probably prepared for any scenario that involved me attacking him. I had planned to tell him how I feel but even in my mind it never came out quite right. I mulled it over a few more times in my mind. I blushed and glanced aside slightly for the slightest second. I know what I have to do both of us are so focused on words I couldn't take the chance of him mistaking my intentions. So I slowly stepped toward him. I could feel my feet lighten a bit as my heart began to race. I breathed deeply and it only took one more step to get to him. As soon as I felt my body press against his my arms around his neck and I leaned in slowly deliberately pressing my lips to his. It felt like I were inhaling pure heat and my lungs seemed to want more, I inhaled deeply as my heart raced. Although my lungs wanted the heat that poured from him now they protested greatly. Desperate not to break away from it I took a deep breath through my nose and took in his scent. It was pleasant like a meadow. As I closed my eyes I could envision us standing in a meadow surrounded by trees a cool breeze touching my skin as the heat of his breath flowed into me. Then I felt his lips begin to move against mine. His arms claiming a place around my waist I crushed my body against his with new enthusiasm. Suddenly my mind was racing I had prepared for him to stop me, to protest even push me away. Nothing had prepared me for him to embrace me. I inhaled another breath of his intoxicating heat; the meadow scent was greater now. I felt the ground vanish and a slight thud before I opened my eyes. My hair began to pull at the ties in it. I reluctantly broke away from the kiss keeping my body pressed against his. I swept my hand through my each ponytail and my hair fell smoothly in appreciation. I swept it back and looked into his eyes again. They were as intense as usual but there was something else in them now, something that made me long for the heat of his breath again. I crushed my lips against his again eagerly and began to run my hands into his hair. I continued to inhale his heat and scent as my fingers weaved through his hair and paused as they tangled in a tie that held his single ponytail. I smiled in the kiss and slid it out quickly I opened my eyes seeing his hair, with it down he came significantly closer to looking like one of those guys in the magazines. Then my cheeks burned again as I considered seeing him with his shirt off. I finally broke the kiss pressing my finger to his burning lips I sat up realizing I was setting right on top of him. I smiled an anxious smile and swept my hair to the left leaning in I kissed his jaw near his ear.

"Can I take off your shirt?" I asked in the most seductive tone I could manage this time it sounded just like I had intended. I gasped as he wrapped his arms around me and rolled quickly suddenly claiming the top. He quickly stripped off the dark green vest and stripped off his shirt and fishnet. I gasped again as I took in his surprisingly toned body. I ran a finger up his abdomen to his chest then up as high as I could, He started to lean in and with a new found intensity I weaved my fingers into his hair and pulled him to me pressing my free hand to his firm chest I blushed a darker shade. I felt him pull away from me and I gave him a look of longing from under my eyelashes. He seemed to lock up and then I wrapped around him rolling again to reclaim the top position. I gave him a triumphant mischievous smile and quickly untied my headband tossing it aside I began to remove my sash. As it slid off I placed my free arm across my chest and looked down at him blushing. I could see the look in his eyes the same look that forced me to inhale more of his intoxicating breath but his eyes were locked on mine. I smiled and slid off the robe, ignoring the thud as my fan fell to the floor under it, leaving me in a bra and shorts with fishnets up to my knee on my right leg. I smirked and leaned toward him so that my head was out of reach of his and eyed him mischievously as I pressed my chest against his then I slid my body up his and held my lips just off his. I inhaled deeply as I leaned toward his ear and whispered.

"Can you help me out of these shorts?" I asked then I looked into his eyes again from under my eyelashes.

---

Shikamaru:

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I inhaled sharply my senses still trying to catch up to the overload of sensations that I was feeling. I nodded and wrapped my arms securely around her rolling over so that I was on top for the second time. I looked down at her carefully and slid my body of hers carefully pressing my fingers under the band of the skin tight shorts that hugged her hips. I quickly slid them off her and looked up as she tugged on the band of my pants. I eyed her and cautiously removed them. I slid my body back over hers and whispered "Are you su-" Before I could finish she snatched my head securely between both her hands and crushed her lips against mine. I tugged against her grip gently but the combination of her lips and body against mine was too much to resist so I surrendered and ran my fingers up her side sliding them over her shoulder and down her arm. She broke the kiss and leaned toward my ear

"Are you ready?" she asked biting her lip and looking up from under her eyelashes.

I eyed her as my heart stopped sputtered and raced again. I moved in a haze as the last of the fabric the separated our two bodies was removed and looked down at her. He eyes were locked on mine yet again and it was as if her entire body were blushing now I swallowed hard and leaned down against hers feeling my body burn fiercely as I felt her bare chest press against mine. I crushed my lips against hers and Ran my finger tips softly up her side. I could feel the arch of her body and I smiled at the low moan that filled the still unbroken kiss.

She looked up at me "Shikamaru can I?" she looked extremely embarrassed. "Can you let me on top I want to try something" she said looking up at me shyly. I smiled and surrendered control over to her. She rolled us and sat up sliding down my body. I looked down toward her and started to protest as she wrapped her fingers around my erection. I tensed as she slowly slid her lips down it. I gasped as my heart stuttered again. She slowly moved her lips in rhythm down it. I breathed in time with her movements and before I knew it I could feel myself losing control. "Temari I’m going to..." I said too late as I looked down at her she winced and closed one eye. I watched her swallow something. Then she looked up at me playfully "Yuck" she said slowly sliding her body back up mine. She reached her lips toward mine. I pressed a finger to her lips and smiled. "My turn" I said deviously and I slid my body down hers "Shikamaru you don’t ha- ah" I cut her off by sliding my tongue against her "lips" I slid my tongue up until I caught a smaller piece. I placed my lips around it and hummed against it. She twitched in response and her breathing became labored I could feel the hint of a moan on her breath. I continued to hum as I slid two fingers into her carefully slowly humming and moving in rhythm with her breaths. She twitched and arched repeatedly until she could no longer hide her moaning. I continued until I felt her clench her thighs and seize a handful of my hair. I quickly slid my body up hers and was greeted by her crushing her lips against my hard. I eagerly wrapped my arms around her and she whispered in my ear again "please, please Shikamaru I can't wait anymore" she said through heavy breathes.

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Temari:

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I panted as he looked down at him my whole body was already aching and I could feel his erection pressed against my navel I reached down trying to guide him into me and felt the tip press lightly against my "lips" I bit my lip as he lined himself up and paused "Are you ready Temari?" he asked with a caring tone. I panted and kissed him again. "Yes! Please don’t make me wait anymore" I panted again and I felt his erection sliding slowly into me I gasped slightly then I felt him hit something. I gripped him tightly and whispered into his ear "be gentle" I said carefully and then I felt him thrust a bit and my eyes widened I gasped kissing him to disguise the moan. I closed my eyes and could feel tears in the corner of my eyes. I opened then again when he stopped "Temari are you alright?" he asked and I nodded kissing him tenderly now "Yes I’m fine Shikamaru" I said lovingly "please don’t stop" with each thrust it began to feel better and slowly I started to moan. "Shi" I said taking a deep breath and arching slightly "ka" I winced in pleasure "Ma" I moaned loudly "RU" I said arching my back deeply I felt the warmth of my body flare and I could feel him inside me tense simultaneously "TEMARI" I heard him moan even through the haze that my body tingling created. I smiled up at him as he pulled out of me and lay next to me. I rested my head on his shoulder and closed my eyes as His fingers gently grazed my hair and his arm crossed my body.

"Shikamaru” My heart raced anew "I, I love you" I said eyeing him as I spoke. Then I smiled up at him "I think we found something you don't find troublesome" I said with a teasing tone.

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Shikamaru:

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My entire body tingled as I looked down at her and ran my fingers through her hair. I froze as she said it and replayed the words in my mind. Then closing my eyes I smiled "I" I looked down at the top of her head and kissed it "Love you too Temari" I said smiling "I have known it for a while now I’m just glad that I don’t have to try and convince myself that it isn’t true" I closed my eyes as I kept my arm around her and ran my fingers through her beautiful hair. "So can I keep you now, My Desert Rose" I said connecting the person in the darkness under my closed eyelids finally with the reality. In this situation I would much rather take the reality than the dream.

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A/N: Yes I am alive and I'm sorry for the Extreme Delay in Perfect Vision but hopefully this will help make up for my continued abscence Ive been very busy, I hope you like it. Please Review.

The Notebook

I'm too lazy to be working on another full movie/Naruto story.

Disclaimer: I owneth not, the Notebook, Naruto, nor Shikatema.

So I'll be doing the first chapter where they meet. In the future I may update it, but that's like IFFY. Very iffy.
So be prepared for a oneshot. X

Btw, I changed a little bit of it, to fit their personalities. So get over it.

asdfghjkl;

The Notebook

Author: amanda devaine

"So...freaking...troublesome..." Shikamaru dragged his feet along in the dirt and rocks that they spread around the Carnival for some craptastic reason. Why I allowed Chouji to bring me to carnival in the first place is beyond me. I knew he'd be eating the whole time...

Munch munch. Shikamaru cringed. Chouji was eating his fourth cotton candy now.

"Hey Chouji, aren't you sick of the stuff by now?"

"Nah, it's good," Chouji ate the rest in a bite. "Oooh look kettel corn!" Chouji ran off to the kettle corn stand.

Shikamaru nearly gagged. So much sugar would have made him regurgitate hours ago. He wandered over to the bumper cars, the closest ride to where he was standing, and leaned on the edge, watching the miniature cars whizz by. Almost hypnotizing...almost like those clouds... Shikamaru thought as his eyelids started closing. Even the motors and the smell of gas could not thorougly keep him awake.

Suddenly, he felt a crash against his arms, stomach, and legs and he flew back. "What the...?" Shikamaru stood up and rubbed his head. He saw a car that hit the wall he was using as his leaning post. "Sorry," the blonde haired girl in the car winked at him and drove off, bumping into one of her friends.

Shikamaru's mouth was wide open as his eyes followed her driving around the track. "Hey Shikamaru!" Chouji yelled.

"Yeah?" Shikamaru asked as he waved his hand to him as if saying "Go away"

"Uh...what are you doing?"

"Huh?" Shikamaru, the boy with an amazing high IQ asked stupidly. "Oh right, uh...nothing..Just watching the bumper cars," Shikamaru put on his usual lazy face.

Chouji saw through his ruse. "You saw a girl didn't you?" Chouji asked between munches. "Who is she?" Chouji asked curiously looking from girl to girl.

"Is it her?" Chouji pointed to a brunette with two buns on either side of her head talking to her long, black-haired friend.

Shikamaru realized it would be pointless to argue, since Chouji was already on to him. He sighed, "No."

"What about the one talking to her?" Chouji inquired.

"That's a guy..." Shikamaru stated as though it were the most obvious thing in the world, although, it really wasn't.

"Really!?" he laughed.

"Yes, Chouji."

"Hmm.." Chouji finished his kettle corn and tossed it into the trash can conventiently placed right next to them. "Hmm..." he repeated and put a hand up to his chin. "Her?" He pointed to a girl with suspicious looking pink hair.

"Uhh...no...Her hair is pink..." Shikamaru stated bluntly, his eyes wide open in shock. "Unless you didn't notice..." Shikamaru teased.

"Oh, I noticed. It looks alot like cotton candy..." Chouji gazed lovingly.

"Ew, Chouji..." Shikamaru shook his head at him disapprovingly.

"Hm...well...is it her?" Chouji pointed to a blonde with a long pony-tail. Her back was turned to the both of them.

"That's Ino!" Shikamaru had a look of horror on his face. The most troublesome woman ever...Other than my mother...

"I give up! Who is it?!"

Shikamaru hesitated for a moment. "Her," he pointed toward the girl who was getting up from her bumper car. She walked over to her red haired...male...friend and laughed.

"She's got a boyfriend...figures..." Shikamaru sighed.

"You don't know that!" Chouji piped up enthusiastically.

"Uh, yeah Chouji, I'm pretty sure she d--" But he couldn't finish his sentence because Chouji grabbed him and pulled him over to the girl and her alleged boyfriend.

"Uhh...hello?" The girl asked confusedly. She was still latched onto her friend. He's really odd looking. Why would such a beautiful girl go out with someone like him? Is that eyeliner? And I don't see any eyebrows...What a freak...

Chouji elbowed Shikamaru in the stomach. "Uh.. hi, my name's Shikamaru, and I was just wondering..." he paused as if he had forgotten what he was going to say.

"Yes?" the blonde cocked an eyebrow.

"...if you would like to go out on a date with me...on Friday..." Shikamaru asked quickly, before he lost his confidence again.

"I'm sorry..." she tried letting him down easily, "I can't..."

"Is it that you're busy or you just don't want to go with me?" Shikamaru was getting annoyed. How could she turn him down so crudely?

"Do you really want me to answer that question?" she asked.

"Yes, or else I would never have asked it," Shikamaru persisted.

"I just don't want to," she started to walk away and tugged her bizarre friend along.

"Wait,"

"Yes?"

"What's your name?"

"Temari," and with that she walked away.

There was no way Shikamaru could be forgotten so easily. The usually lazy boy wracked his brains for a way to get her to notice him. Normally, he wouldn't ask for help but...

"Chouji?"

"Yes?" he was licking at some ice cream now.

"What do I do?"

"Just forget about her," he said as if he knew something about the matter, "It helps..."

"I can't, buddy...I just...can't..." He was sitting down on a bench when he noticed her getting on the ferris wheel, dragging along her boyfriend.

"She's dating someone, dude," Chouji said between licks, "I mean, why else would she reject you that way?"

"I don't care if she has a boyfriend..I'm going to win her heart..." Shikamaru put his hands into the shape of a circle and leaned over as if thinking hard. After several silent minutes...

"I got it. Chouji, stay here." He ran full speed toward the ferris wheel.

"What are you doing?!" Chouji asked worriedly.

"Trust me!" Shikamaru said as he was almost there. He ran straight up past the line. As her little gondola went by he grabbed the bar right in front of it hung there. The ferris wheel went almost to the top, then apparently the conductor realized what had happened and stopped it abruptly.

He heard the annoyed voice of someone below. "Hey, you can't do that!! Get down from there!"

"No!" Shikamaru shouted back.

"What do you want?" Temari asked with a worried look on her face.

"Go out with me," Shikamaru persisted.

"No!" Temari refused, "Now get down from there!"

Shikamaru carelessly let go with one hand. "Go out with me or I'm letting go with the other hand," Temari clutched the hand of her friend tightly.

"Are you crazy?!" she screamed at him.

"Probably..." Shikamaru swung back and forth slightly, "Go out with me?"

"Yes, yes fine I'll go out with you!" Temari shouted worriedly. "Now please, just get down!"

"Okay," he said as he shimmied over and sat right between her and her red haired friend.

"I hope your boyfriend doesn't mind," Shikamaru stated bluntly.

"My boyfriend?!" Temari laughed.

"What...?" Shikamaru asked confused.

"This is my BROTHER!" she continued laughing, yet her brother remained absolutely quiet.

Shikamaru sweatdropped.

asdfghjkl;

Well there ya go. Like I said it may remain a oneshot. Most likely

But yeahh. I hope you liked. If I get enough reviews I may just put their second date. I don't know. X

I've only seen the Notebook once so if it's way off I'm sorry. Don't shoot me.

Better

Better
Author: WhoNeedsSanity

Disclamer:I don't own Naruto.

I had this sudden urge to write a Shikatema fic, so don't blame me if it's bad.

Better

"Checkmate." said Shikamaru with a smirk. Pause.

"Aughhh!" yelled Temari clearly frustrated.

"You know what I haven't won a single game damnit!"

"Wha?" said Shikamaru slightly backing up.

"Oh I'm sorry genious, let-me-say-it-so-you'll-understand," she said putting emphasis on each word. Shikamaru twitched. "I've been coming to Konoha each week for 30 weeks." she started calmly, "out of those 30 weeks we have played shogi 25 of those weeks," voice slightly agitated, "out of those 25 times we've played strip shogi 10 times." voice louder, "out of those 10 times I've never won," now yelling, "in fact out of those 25 I've never won once!" she finished now screaming.

Shikamaru loved to see her this pissed off so he wanted more entertainment, especially since she was only in her bra and underwearand he was only in his pants. But he wasn't an idiot and backed up everytime she got louder. Genious or not the next thing he said would have had had anyone thinking he was an idiot,

"So I take it you don't want to play another round of shogi?"

"Forget you!" she yelled.

Next she grabbed her clothes put them on without trying to look presentable and made her way to the door.

"You do know you have to stay two more days because of Tsunade's meeting with Gaara." he said as she left. Slam

"...Troublesome."

'That little brat!' Temari thought to herself while making her way to Ino's house. After 30 weeks she new some Konoha gossip like Sasuke came back and loves Sakura but she doesn't know, Hinata loves Naruto and they're going out, Neji and Tenten are suspected to be secretly dating , and last Ino used to go out with Shikamaru, but it only lasted a week because he forgot something on their first date.

'I wonder what he forgot to do.'she thought as she finally reached Ino's house. She took a deep breath preparing herself for an overdramatic, girly-girl, drama queen.

"Why me?" she said quietly while knocking on the door.

"I'll get it dad!" Temari heard from the inside the house.

'I'd bet 10 bucks she's getting ready for something.' Temari thought with a chuckle. Sure enough there she was in a robe and towel wrapped around her blonde hair

"Oh Temari aren't you upposed to be at Shikamaru's playing shogi..." she trailed off after noticing Temari's glare.

"Oookay, why are you here?" she said motioning Temari in the door.

" 'Cause I want to know why you and Shikamaru and you broke up." she replied pretending to be sooo interested.

"Well," she started, leaning in while Temari leaned back lazily crossing her legs.

"Shika and I were talking about going out and..." Temari lost what she had said after that for awhile.

'I'm so sure I asked her how they broke up not how they started going out .' thought Temari listening to Ino droll on. Just when she thought she was about to die she the words first date and perked up her ears.

"Oh on our first date first he didn't even remember, then do you know what he did while we were watching the clouds? He fell asleep, Temari, asleep!" Ino waited for feedback, Temari fought back the urge to smile then replied,

"Oh my God really?!" giving her normal response.

"I know! So I woke him up and dumped his ass right there!" she finished gleaming with pride.

"Thanks for the story Ino!" she called to Ino while running down the street to Shikamaru's best friend's house, Chouji, and just in case she grabbed a whole sacks worth of chips, candy, and anything else she could find.

Temari would need a lot more ammo to catch Shika off guard on the shogi matches. After all he was way to lazy to care about falling asleep on a first date. Once she finally reached Chouji's house she knocked on the door rapidly. She didn't expect to find Chouji getting ready for something too.

"Oh hey Temari." said Chouji suprised,"Why aren't you at..." Another victim to Temari's glare.

"Want to come in, but you've got to hurry I've got somewhere to go." he said glancing at the clock. Temari could already guess with who so she didn't ask.

"So Chouji," she started mischiviously, "want some candy or maybe some chips?"

"Um, no thanks." he said hesitantly.

"Oh come on Chouji their a new flavor." she said as his eyes widened.

"And these are said to be the sweetest in town." she said while holding a bag of candy in front of him. Chouji gulped, and Temari knew just what to do. She opened up a bag and slowly grabbed a chip. Chouji watched it longingly. Then Temari bit it in two and Chouji lunged for the bag, but Temari was too quick.

"Uh-uh-uh," she said, "first tell me something embarrising about Shikamaru." He looked to his side obviously thinking.

"You won't tell him I told you right?"

"No, of course not." she replied.

"Ok, in the academy Shikamaru asked Ino everyday if they could go out." he started slowly feeling guilty, and Ino always replied-"

"Eww, don't get me wrong, you're cute,but you're no Sasuke." said a new voice from the door. It was Ino.

"Ready to go Chouji?" asked Ino impatiently.

"Y-yes, Ino." he replied stunned by how she looked. This was Temari's cue to leave. She left the bags of chips and candy andleft for Sakura's place.

Sakura was cool, but sometimes she was emotional. For example, when Sasuke didn't say hi to her one day she called Temari at 12 at night and she didn't let her go to sleep until 5 a.m. Temari took another deep breath, hopefully she wasn't in one of those moods.

"Hey Temari, what's up." came a voice from the top of the balcony. She looked up to see Sakura in her normal clothes.

"I'm wondering if you got any dirt on Shikamaru." she answered dryly.

"I'm insulted Temari," she said while putting her hand to her chest dramatically, "I have dirt on everybody." she finished with a grin. Not even a minute later she answered the door and Temari noticed Sasuke in her house. She entered the house and sat across Sasuke.

"So what you got?" she asked.

"Ok Sasuke told me this one, he sleeps with deer slippers." Sakura said laughing.

"Already know that." she said.

"Oh yeah you have to sleep there don't you, hmmm."

Then Sasuke walked over and whispered something in in Temari's ear. She gasped and ran out the door straight for Shika's house.

"What did you say to her?" said Sakura astonished. He whispered what he said in Temari's ear to Sakura's. She gaped at what he said.

"No." she said disbelievingly a smile creeping up.

'I can't believe Shikamaru..." she didn't finish as she reached the door.

She easily opened the door, they had a jounin, a chunin, and a anger-management needing mother in their house, there was no need to lock doors.

"I want a rematch!" she said as she entered Shika's room.

"You sure?" he answered witha smirk. Temari simply smirked back.

"Aughh." she almost yelled, but remembered her plan.

"You know you're doing worse than usual." he said with a yawn.

"Shut up, at least I don't fall asleep on first dates." she retorted back. Shikamaru looked caught off guard for a moment giving Temari enough time to look at the board properlywith satisfaction. His next move was a glance at the clouds to clear his mind. Tmari moved a spot even Shikamaru would notice especially since he was staring at the clouds.

"Go." she said impatiently as the game continued.

Temari saw the moment she was waiting for and Shikamarumade his next move confidently. She would crush that confidence.

"So Shika," he looked at her confused, but she ignored it,

"how was your 'game' in the academy?" he gawked at what she said then she moved closer to him seductively. Then close enough he could feel her warm breath on his lips. He couldn't move any more he was completely frozen.

"Do you know what Sasuke told me?" she moved forward more and now he was on the ground with her on top.

"Just to tell you, eww you're cute, but you're no Sasuke," he didn't move, "you're better." she said as she gently pushed her lips against his. He was shocked, but returned the kiss, then she broke apart and said,

"He told me you loved me," she paused for a second, "Ohand by the way," another pause, "Checkmate."

Good or bad please tell me...

Although this is something I thought of on the top of my head...

Oh well, REVIEW PLEASE!

Where's Shikamaru?

Where’s Shikamaru?
Author: Amnesty

It annoyed Nara Yoshino to no ends when her “occupation” was belittled by some ignorant villager whose views on success were based upon mission stats and income. She takes great pride in the decisions she made that took her to the place where she is today, and not many are able to humble themselves to such an extent that she had over the past twenty-three years. The loving wife of Shikaku and the doting mother of Konoha’s laziest ninja, Shikamaru, this is her life and the life she cherishes. Keeping those two in line and the house in order is more than a full time job but she does it day in and day out because of her unfailing love for the two most important men in her life.

She was currently standing in the living room separating the family of three’s laundry into their respected piles and folding them at an astonishing rate. She held up a pair of Shikamaru’s pants and looked at them quizzically. Her son had grown greatly in the past seventeen years and she was glad that his growth spurt was finally starting to level off. It was pain streaking to keep up with the growing teenager and it seemed that when she was finally able to replace all of his snug clothing with his current size he would just grow out of the new ones in only a few weeks. Even now she notices his pant legs not as seemingly long as they once were when he first wore them. She made a mental note to pick out a few new pair of pants for him next time she was out in the market. She quickly folded the pants and set them with the rest of her son’s clothes. Letting out a deep yawn she glanced up at the clock and noticed that it was getting pretty late.

“All most eleven,” she stated calmly. Shikamaru had already gone up to bed and left her alone to her work.

She normally did not stay up this late but her husband would be back from his mission tomorrow evening and she wanted him to come home to a clean house and a good meal. She put her and Shikaku’s laundry in one basket and Shikamaru’s in another. Lifting the basket in one arm she was just about to make her way to her room when she heard the knob to the front door twist. Setting the basket down she grabbed a kunai that was sitting on the coffee table. The likeliness of her being able to fight off the unknown intruder was most likely slim but if the late night visitor was of ill intent Shikamaru was only a shout away. Even though he was the laziest kid she had ever known she also knew he is a formable opponent who now even surpasses his own father when it comes down to strategy and skill. The door slowly opened and her heart skipped a beat when she caught sight of who just walked through the threshold. She let out the breath she was holding and allowed the arm that was clenching the kunai to fall to her side.

“Moron! I could have killed you!” She barked angrily- though her scowl quickly faded into an amused smile.

“Would you have now?” He replied, returning her smile with his equally amused side smirk. “Actually… I’m sure you could have. You can be quite fierce at times and it’s not like I would fight back.”

“Idiot…” Yoshino murmured as she slowly closed the distance between the two.

“Such sweet first words after a long miss-” Shikaku’s sarcastic remark was cut short by the soft lips of his wife planted firmly against his. A long smile stretched across his lips as he returned the kiss, wrapping his strong arms around the woman he loved so dearly. After a blissful moment Yoshino pulled away and rested her head on his chest, allowing him to hold her.

“Mmmm… I don’t know about you, but I’m exhausted.” Shikaku murmured quietly. “I’m ready to sleep for a few days.”

“Like hell you are!” She laughed, pocking her husband in his side. “I’ll give you a day of rest but I need you to fix the door where you keep the deer feed. Some gluttonous pig forced his way in a few nights ago and had a midnight snack. Now the door won’t stay shut.”

“Why don’t you just have Shikamaru do it? He’s here.”

Yoshino hummed in annoyance and waved her hand in the air flippantly. “That boy has been busy escorting that Suna liaison around for the past few weeks. I don’t know what that Temari has him do all day but when she’s here it’s as if Shikamaru doesn’t even live here anymore.”

“Sounds like someone’s jealous of another woman stealing away the attention of her baby boy.” He said teasingly.

“It’s not like that at all!” She replied defensively. “He even says that there is nothing going on between the two of them…” Ignoring the “yeah right” expression her husband gave her on the last comment she continued. “Don’t get me wrong though. I would love for Shikamaru to settle down with a nice young lady soon. It’s just him being with someone from a different village would be… troublesome.”

“They both have good head on their shoulders. I’m sure if they had any on going romantic feelings for each other they could work something out.”

“She’s too old.”

“That’s not nice. Only three years that’s not so bad.”

“It’s a little strange though. If it was vice versa it would be different.”

“Why’s that?”

“I don’t know it just would!”

“Whatever…” He said yawning.

“How’d we get on this topic anyway? Whatever the reason I blame you for making me upset…”

“Of course…”

“You look exhausted… All right I won’t keep you any longer… I suppose the rest of the laundry can wait until morning… You may want to drop in and let Shikamaru know you’re home. He was asking about you coming home yesterday.”

“Was he now?” He replied, not really seeming that interested. They both began to make their way up the stairway toward the upper bedrooms hand in hand.

“He seemed happy to know you would be back soon. I’m sure he would like to know that you arrived a day ahead of schedule.”

“I really think he would rather sleep. I think this could wait until morning.”

“Mmm, perhaps you’re right. Still, I want to check on him.” She replied, reaching for the handle to Shikamaru’s room.

“What is he? Five?”

“Shut it,” she hissed warningly. She peeked inside the dark room and scanned over to where the youngest Nara slept. Her eyes widened a moment and her hand instantly hit the switch to turn on the light.

“Woman what are you doing? You’re going to annoy him.”

Ignoring Shikaku completely Yoshino briskly walked into the room and looked around nervously. Shikaku followed in behind her and eyed the room and the unkempt and empty bed.

“Oi,” Shikaku muttered to his fidgeting wife. “Where’s Shikamaru?”

It was all most eight thirty in the morning when Temari’s daily routine was interrupted by someone knocking on her apartment door. She was here on official ambassador business since a few weeks ago to attend relation meetings with the hokage. All had gone well and the relation between Suna and Konoha were running as smoothly as they could possible go for now. It was now time for her to return to her home in the desert and give Gaara her report of the meetings. She let out an annoyed sigh from being interrupted, walked over to the door and opened it to find an awkward Ino and Choji standing before.

“Can I help you?” Temari asked, cocking an eyebrow at the pair.

“Sorry to disturb you so early in the morning Temari-san!” Ino exclaimed, waving her hands apologetically in front of her face. “It’s just Shikamaru didn’t come home last night and his mom asked us to help look for him.”

“Haven’t seen him.” Temari stated bluntly and was now beginning to close the door when Choji chose to continue.

“We checked all of his usual cloud gazing spots but we haven’t been able to find him anywhere. We were just wondering, since you were the last person to see him last night, if you might… know… where he might be?”

“… No clue.” She stated nonchalant, ending the short exchange with Ino and Choji by closing the door in their faces.

“Well… That was… a little awkward…” Ino stated as her and Choji casually walked back down the hall of the apartment complex. “She’s a little scary, don’t you think Choji?”

“Definitely… But I think Shikamaru kinda likes her.”

Ino shot Choji a suspicious look. “What do you mean by “like”?”

“You know,” he said, illustrating with his hands. “Like like like.”

“What!” Ino exclaimed, her eyes like saucers. She quickly regained composure and tilted her head smugly to the side. “Hah! No way. Shikamaru’s too lazy to like anybody that way. Besides, she’s not his type.”

“Oh? And what is his type Ino?”

“Uh… Well, let’s see…” She thought for a moment, placing her finger to her chin. “Well… I’m not sure. But it’s definitely not her.”

“What’s wrong with her?”

“Nothings wrong with her she’s just… a little manly.”

“Oo, I dare you to say that to her face!” He laughed.

“Are you crazy? She’d kill me!”

“Yeah, probably. But seriously Ino, manly? Sure she’s a little rough around the edges but manly Ino?”

“Yeah! Have you seen the way she eats? She’s not feminine at all.”

“You’re not exactly the prime example of table etiquette yourself.” Thought Choji silently, not daring to voice his inner thoughts. “Ummm, sure. Whatever you say Ino.”

The two exited the apartment complex and continued their search for their missing comrade.

After closing the door on Ino and Choji Temari rubbed her fingers against the temples of her forehead and walked further into the living room. Her gaze quickly focused on the dark headed young man who poked his head around the corner, once he realized they were once again alone. He brought his hand over his mouth as he let out a loud yawn and ran his fingers through his dark tresses he looked at Temari lazily as she glared at him. “What?”

“You’re friends were just here. They’re looking for you.”

“So I heard, how troublesome.”

She gave him one of her evil smiles and slowly approached him. “Troublesome indeed. What are you planning to do about this?”

“Eh, I’ll just find some arbitrary place and claim to have slept there over night.”

“Oh? And what if they’ve already looked there?” Temari asked as she slowly wrapped her arm around the young Jounin’s neck. “Plus your mother saw you go to bed last night. You’re supposed to be home.”

He shrugged and replied in a bored tone, “I’ll just find a place they’re least likely to check first and tell them I took a walk and fell asleep while star gazing or… something.”

“What a brilliant plan. Now I know why you’re known as a genius.” She said, sarcasm dripping from her voice.

“Quite you troublesome woman.” He leaned in and gave her a brief kiss across the lips.

Temari let out a content sigh and leaned against his bare shoulder, allowing him to wrap his arms around her. Closing her eyes she breathed in his sweet scent and smiled softly as she felt him beginning to fiddle with one of her ponytails.

“What a drag. And here I was hoping to lie around your apartment until you had to leave. I’m surprised my hag of a mom didn’t send the ANBU after me.”

She let out a quick laugh and pulled away enough to look at him in the face. “And what makes you think I’d let you lie around all day, stupid. And besides… you should stop complaining about your mother… You’re lucky to have one that cares about you the way she does.” She rested her head back on his shoulder, feeling foolish for saying something she felt was too sappy. She felt his chest rise and fall and his head rest on hers.

“I know…” He whispered. They both stayed like that in an awkward silence until Temari pulled away and walked to where a black shirt was thrown carelessly on the floor. She scooped up the shirt and tossed at her lover who easily caught it.

“You better start getting dressed. As much as I like looking at you in your boxers it would probably be best if you leave soon.” She stated mater of factly with a small smile gracing her lips which soon broadened. “Besides, your troublesome mother might really send out the ANBU if Ino and Choji don’t “find” you soon.” Shikamaru sighed in compliance as he began to gather his clothing which trail suspiciously lead to the sand kunoichi’s current bedroom. As for her she sat herself on the couch and waited for him to finish. “Hurry your lazy ass up!” She yelled after only a few minutes of waiting. “You take longer than me to get dressed!”

“Shut up!” He snapped back. “Why do you have to be such a… You’re so impatient.” He exited the bedroom, finishing wrapping his hair into his high ponytail.

“Happy?” He asked annoyed.

“Stop being such a crybaby, crybaby.”

“Stop calling me a crybaby.”

“Just stop whining and say goodbye to me. I won’t be back for a while.”

“Goodbye.” He said unenthusiastically.

Temari let out a growl of anger, rose, and grabbed her fan that was leaning against her couch. She took a threatening step toward Shikamaru who in turn took a step back fearfully. He raised his arms in front of him defensively.

“Sorry, sorry!” He sputtered out nervously and sighed in relief as she set her weapon down with a loud “clank.” She still looked extremely angry and he thought it would be best to be as nice as possible at the moment. He gave her one of his smirks as he quickly, yet cautiously, approached her. He cupped her face and locked his lips with hers. “Goodbye, I’ll miss you.” He said, much more sincerely than the last time.

“Better.” She replied. She pushed her weapon back so that it would rest back against the couch only for it to slide and fall on the floor. She currently ignored it as she wrapped her arms around him and kissed him furiously. She hesitantly parted and stepped back. “You better go.”

“I know. I’ll see you in a few hours to see you off.”

“You better or I’ll beat you into a bloody pulp.”

“What a violent woman.” He said nervously.

Temari watched as Shikamaru walked towards the door and peeked out to see if anyone was around. There wasn’t so he silently left giving her only a quick glance at her as he left. She knew what he would do. He would do what he always did. Make his way up to the roof and travel the rooftops until he was far enough away to travel on ground where no one could connect him to her apartment. Normally he would just head home and sneak into his room the same way he snuck out. But it looks like he’s going to have to try something a little different today.

She went to the kitchen and began to brew herself some tea as she let her mind wonder. Like always she began to fantasize about more ideal situations. Like wishing that she was from Konoha or that he was from Suna so that they didn’t have to sneak around and could see each other openly. Not that she liked open displays of affection or anything; she would probably treat him the same in public as she does now, even if their relationship was common knowledge. In the current circumstances if anyone found out about their secret “meetings” and the word got around it could damage not only Suna’s but Gaara’s reputation. Even though they are in the most fruitful alliance they and Konoha have ever been in Suna’s council would twist the idea of someone with such a high position and closeness with Gaara as she did that there would be threat of classified information being leaked during “pillow talk”. Even here many shinobi and civilians are suspicious of Suna since the last attack so many years ago. Openly or not, she couldn’t help but notice all the suspicious glances of many of the town’s folk especially when she was not being accompanied with Shikamaru or another shinobi.

“Feh, troublesome.” She muttered as she hit her head against one of the kitchen’s cabinets.

“Found him!” Ino yelled loudly gaining the attention of two other members of the search party. She looked angrily at the young shinobi who was snoozing blissfully high up in the braches of a tall tree.

“It’s about time! I’m so hungry!” Choji sighed in relief as he approached his blonde teammate followed closely by Shikaku.

“Shikamaru WAKE UP!” Ino screamed as she threw a rather large stone against the shadow nin’s left side. It jolted him awake as he rolled over the side of the branch and landed on another a few feet down. As if nothing happened he gazed lazily down at his female friend in annoyance.

“Woman, what did you do that for I was,” he took a moment to yawn, “in the middle of a nice nap.”

“A nap? A NAP!?” Ino yelled back furiously. “We’ve been looking for you all morning and you were taking a nap!?”

“All morning?” He asked, looking truly confused. “What time is it?”

“10! And we’ve been looking for you since 8!”

“Wow, I must have fallen asleep here last night during my walk…” Shikamaru said nonchalantly as he jumped down to the rest of him. Once he landed he was quickly met with the fist of Yamanaka Ino.

“Yoshino’s been worried sick about you and you don’t even care!”

“Ino, calm down. You’re over reacting”

“Yeah Ino.” Choji piped in. “We found him and he’s okay like I said he would be. Can we just get over with it and get something to eat? I’m starving here.” Ino visibly calmed down a bit but let out a “humph” as she crossed her arms and turned away. Shikamaru gave his best friend a smirk as if to say thank you and Choji returned the same friendly smile. “Come on Ino, barbeque, my treat.” Choji said as he ushered Ino to the food district.

“What if I don’t want barbeque? What if I want Kino’s Soup?” Ino pouted.

“Seriously?” Choji asked, sweat dropping.

“Seriously,” replied Ino gravely.

“Fine, soup it is. Coming Shikamaru?” He called over his shoulder.

“Yeah, I’ll catch up in a second.” Shikamaru replied standing next to his father who was eyeing him suspiciously. Shikamaru cocked an eyebrow at his father’s expression and began to stretch out the kinks out of his back and neck. While stretching to the side some of the fabric of his turtle neck pulled away, revealing a stretch of normally concealed skin. Shikaku crossed his arms and let out an amused chuckle still watching his son.

“What’s so funny Old man?

“Nothing.”

“I thought you weren’t supposed to be back until later today.”

“We arrived ahead of schedule. I actually got home late last night. That’s when your mother noticed you missing.”

“Feh, she worries too much.” Shikamaru replied as he finished the last of his stretching. “Well, I’m going to eat with Choji and Ino. We’ll hang out later today and play shogi or something okay?”

“That sounds fine to me.” Shikaku said to the retreating Shikamaru but before he got too far he called after his son. “Oh and son.”

“Yeah?”

“Next time you spend the night at a girl’s house tell her not to bite so hard.” He again chuckled as he saw his son freeze for a moment and kept on walking.

“I- I don’t know what you’re talking about. I think you’ve gone senile.”

Temari and Shikmaru stopped in front of the exit of the Konoha exit just as they had every other time. She took a few steps forward of him and turned to face the young shadow nin.

“There will be a meeting between our kages in four months. I’ll arrive with Gaara at that time. Will you be the one accompanying us?” Silly question yes, but she wanted to hold out some amount of conversation before she left again.

“Yes, Tsunada-sama assigned me to be the Suna representative’s guide after all. Che, though it’s troublesome.”

“Heh, try not to be too lazy while I’m gone.”

“Whatever.” He replied lazily. She gave him a cheeky grin.

“Later.” She then turned and left down the path away from Konoha and Shikamaru who was watching her retreating figure. He exhaled and blushing, he reached up to a tender spot that was left on his neck.

“Four months.”

Fin

((Author’s note: “Woot! First Oneshot finished! I hope you all enjoyed it as much I did writing it! I hope that I didn’t make any of the characters too out of character… But it’s kind of funny… I’ve never wrote a kissing scene before so It took me like three days to right the moment between Yoshino and Shikaku! I also don’t curse but I see these characters cursing a bit… Mostly Temari… I did manage to type the alternative word for butt but I feel kind of bad about doing it… Well enough rambling about my personal convictions! Won’t tell anyone that I curse like a sailor in my head… Um right… Well please review and tell me what you think! Advice is welcomed whole heartedly!))

Nothing

Talhofan: I would just like to point out that this is a collaboration (that's how you spell it right?) Between me and my friend - Sweeterthanhunny.

Sweeterthanhunny: (Yeah that's how you spell it...congrats on spelling something right!) Yeah, hi.

Talhofan: ... nothing much to say, we are all spent after that last conversation down there '

Sweeterthanhunny: More like argument...

Talhofan: ...yeah, don't start with me...

Both: Just read the story! We could go on forever!

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...Nothing

Author Talhofan

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Once upon a time… ah, screw that – back to the real world.

A number of Konoha ninjas were in Sunagakure for the appointment of the new Kazekage: in other words, Sabaku no Gaara.

This group was composed of Naruto, Sakura, Kiba, Hinata, Neji, Ino, Anko, Kakashi (Hey there should be some civilised adults there… well… adults.) Lee, Shino… and of course the lazy-ass pineapple head, Shikamaru Nara.

After the ceremony they were granted some free time. Most of the guys (Excluding Kakashi - he and Anko were off somewhere doing…God knows what. I think it might be safer for our minds, not to try imagine what.) Were at a loss for what to do and so they had congregated on the dust path by the bath houses.

Shino was observing the local Suna insect wildlife in the nearby bushes. The others didn’t find this pastime particularly appealing, so Naruto had abducted Hinata and ran off to the nearest ramen shop.

Kankuro and Gaara had decided to join the Konoha ninjas, although they weren’t much help in deciding on what the hell to do.

“Dude, where the hell are the girls?” Kiba asked, looking around. There was no sign of any of the female species, let alone any they knew.

Shikamaru shrugged. “It’s too troublesome to keep tabs on them. Or anyone, for that matter.”

“Hinata is off somewhere with Naruto,” Neji supplied.

“As long as they don’t destroy my village, I don’t care,” Gaara declared.

“Ino’s shopping, and I think my dear sweet flower blossom Sakura is getting a massage in the spa by the bath house!” Cue good guy pose from Lee.

“Dude, you DO know that Sakura and Sasuke are in a very serious romantic relationship, right?” Kiba pointed out.

“Temari’s in the bath house,” Kankuro said.

Shikamaru looked up, suddenly interested. “Temari’s in the bath house?”

“Uh…yeah…” Kankuro confirmed. Gaara looked at Shikamaru suspiciously.

“…Alone?”

“Yeah…so?”

Shikamaru avoided his gaze. “…Nothing.”

About a minute of silence passed.

“Uh… I’ll just um… uh… I’m kinda… hungry, so um… I’ll just…yeah, bye.” Shikamaru whizzed out of sight.

“Well… that was…” Neji started.

“…weird…” Kiba finished.

“Yeah…” Kankuro agreed.

“Since when is Shikamaru hungry?” Lee queried.

“Suspicious…” Gaara muttered to himself.

Silence fell over the group again.

Approximately 20 minutes later, a loud yell was heard from the bath house.

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!”

“OH MY GOD!!”

Next thing, Shikamaru came flying through the bath house wall, coming to halt on his back in the middle of the group of guys.

“Troublesome…” he muttered, looking fed up.

The group stared at him, dumbfounded, all equipped with ‘what the hell’ expressions.

“Temari threw you out didn’t she?” Kankuro asked, grinning.

“No… Sakura walked in on us.” Shikamaru said climbing up off the ground.

“…walked in on what?” Gaara asked suspiciously, glaring at him.

Shikamaru – now up - froze and glanced at Gaara with frightened eyes.

“… Nothing.” He said quickly.

“Shikamaru, let’s have a chat, shall we?” Kankuro grinned and followed Shikamaru as he retreated - he figured Kankuro was safer than Gaara, and besides, he didn’t seem mad – or sadistic, for that matter.

“Troublesome woman,” he muttered.

As soon as Kankuro and Shikamaru were out of sight, Temari came out, re-tying her black kimono.

“Temari, what were you and Nara doing in there?” Gaara demanded.

Temari smirked. “…Nothing.”

Gaara narrowed his eyes accusingly. Temari didn’t flinch.

Sakura then came charging out through the hole in the wall and skidded to a halt in front of Temari.

“OHMYGOD YOU WILL NOT BELIEVE WHAT I JUST SAW SHI-“ she began excitedly. Temari clamped her hand over the other girl’s mouth, effectively cutting her off mid-sentence.

“May I have a word with you, Sakura-chan,” Temari asked, a slightly evil looking fake smile plastered on her face as she dragged Sakura out of earshot.

The guys watched as Temari pinned Sakura to the wall by her throat. Temari was talking and looking quite threatening while gesticulating wildly in what seemed to be the direction of her fan. Sakura was nodding furiously. Temari let her go, and they walked back to rejoin the guys.

“Sakura, what were you saying?” Gaara asked.

Sakura looked back at Temari, who was leaning against her fan and tapping it menacingly.

“…Nothing,” she said, unconvincingly.

“Then why did you scream in the bath house?”

“Um...I…saw…a…spider…” she said.

“Then why was Nara thrown out the bath house?”

“…The spider was… on… his head?” she tried.

“You screamed ‘what are you doing’ because Nara had a spider on his head?” said Gaara sceptically.

“Yeah…because he…was putting the spider on his head…” Sakura really was a dreadful liar.

“Riiiiiiiiiight……” Gaara wasn’t entirely sure whether he believed this or not.

“Sakura, shall we be going now?” Temari ‘suggested’ (it’s not like Sakura really had much of a choice in the matter…).

“Sure…” Sakura gave a shaky smile. “I want my Sasuke-kun...” she whimpered under her breath.

Sakura ran off quickly, and Temari went off in search of a certain lazy Leaf nin to finish what they had started.

Ten minutes later, Gaara had an epiphany.

“Wait…” he said slowly, “…why was Nara in the bath house in the first place?”

Silence.

“NARA!! I AM GOING TO KILL YOU!!”

Kiba and Neji watched the Kazekage race off into the village.

Lee was still thinking. “I still don’t get- OH!! SHIKAMARU AND TEMARI WERE SO-“

Kiba and Neji clamped their hands over their ears.

“LEE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, DON’T SAY IT!!” Kiba yelled.

Neji was just screaming like a little girl.

Shino was… still looking at bugs, completely oblivious to the drama that was occurring around him… Yeah… he really liked bugs… really really liked them…

And on the topic of bugs, there were no spiders in the bath house, but you knew that already, didn’t you.

Right?

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The End

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Talhofan: Uh, yeah... can you please review... took us... how long?!

Sweeterthanhunny: Um...two hours...dude, did it seriously take us that long?? Holy cow!! 0.o

Talhofan: Well it didnt help that you kept hogging my damn keyboard!

Sweeterthanhunny: Well you can't spell for toffee and it was starting to piss me off!!

Talhofan: Well you cant type to save your grandma's life!!

Sweeterthanhunny: Geez, I'm not that bad!!

Talhofan: Coming from the person who just took 5 damn minutes to write that freaking sentance...

Sweeterthanhunny: LIAR!!... and by the way, sentence doesn't have an 'a'... and 'didn't' and 'can't' have apostrophes, dumbass.

Talhofan: ...arent you a smart ass... - NOTE THE APOSTROPHE AINT THERE!! - ... Thats it... I'm getting Temari to come whoop your ass...

Sweeterthanhunny: O.O...shit... HA!!I'll get Shikamaru to distract her...shouldn't be hard... -NOTE THE APOSTROPHE IS THERE!!-

Talhofan: Fine... we are evenly matched, let's just publish this thing!! And... I'm just gonna use Temari's fan...

Sweeterthanhunny: 0.o...crap...didn't think of that... yeah, let's jsut publish it already so I can run away...(and you only resort to violence cos you can't think of any comebacks!!)

Talhofan: sigh is there any other way to make a better comback ... oh and, HA! You spelt 'just' funny!! ('jsut') I WILL NEVER LET THIS DOWN!

Sweeterthanhunny: Dude, that was a freaking typo, gosh!! (And you once spelt 'vulnerable' 'vanruble'.)

Talhofan: I cannot believe you just brought that up... GAH! CAN WE JUST PUBLISH THIS!!

Sweeterthanhunny: Agreed. It's getting to be longer than the story. (One last thing: you left out the 'e' in comeback)

Talhofan: TYPO! Bah... We are publishing this now... let's go get some ice cream.

Sweeterthanhunny: ...reveiw?

Talhofan: They better... or else... I'll use Temari's fan!!

Sweeterthanhunny: YOSH!! I'm off the hook!