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Sunday, May 4, 2008

Kissing the Wind

WARNING: This is very much a lemon. (Erotic fiction ment for adults) Some of you will recall that I wanted to make this little out-take from the mainstream story. well here it is. I've kept the really dirty language to a minimum, as I think it is kind of out of character for these two. This is just for fun. (Even more fun than the normal fan fic) I certainly don't own either Naruto or Sakura. I hope those of you who are a bit perveted like me find this entertaining and still believable.


Kissing the Wind
Author: Highspeed0516

Erotic Exerpt

After an hour and half or so, the hospital late shift began to usher everyone out. Naruto felt heartbroken, even a little betrayed as the last person left and he made his way back to his recovery room for one more night’s stay in the village he loved so much. Sakura-chan had not shown up. He began to wonder if she were in any danger. He thought about sneaking out of the hospital to find her. But Shizune was in charge of security, and knowing the state of alert the village was in over him, Naruto knew he couldn’t risk it. As Naruto gingerly changed into his pajamas without turning on the light. He still had to be careful not to disrupt the bandages on his legs, he considered sending a shadow clone. He had almost gotten around to putting his night cap on when a voice from the corner of his room made Naruto instantly fall into a defensive fighting stance.

“I’m sorry if I worried you, Naruto-kun,” said a voice that sounded sweeter than honey to Naruto. It was Sakura’s voice. His heart skipped a beat.

“Sakura-chan!” Naruto sighed in relief.

They rushed to hold each other. Sakura’s embrace caused Naruto to breathe deeply, and he relished in the scent of her hair. She smelled of fresh spring flowers after a hard rain, and the warmth that radiated from her body blanketed him in comfort like the softest of quilts.

“I’m so sorry!” Sakura continued with a slight crack to her voice. “I wanted everyone to know. I needed you to be sent off, not thrown out.”

“Sakura-chan, you didn’t have to . . .”

“But I couldn’t bear to come myself. I was so afraid. I was afraid everyone would be able to see right through me; see how much I’ve fallen for you! I needed you all to myself.”

“Sakura-chan . . .” Naruto said as he cupped his hand along her jaw line. Then he kissed her, and the touch of her lips to his seemed to set the whole inside of his body aflame. This time their kiss was gentile and controlled. They waited for each other, tasted each other. Sakura inhaled deeply, taking all of Naruto’s breath with it. She leaned on him gently as she threw her arms around his neck, and together they toppled onto the bed. Naruto relished the feeling of her weight pressing into him. She was real. This was no dream. Or was it a dream come true?

Sakura broke the kiss and stood up, her chest heaving as she tried to catch her breath. Slowly, she walked over to the window and peered out, facing away from Naruto. Her hands gripped the window sill tightly, and in the light of a moon that was nearly full, Naruto realized her cheeks were glistening with teardrops.

“Hey, Sakura-chan,” Naruto said, sitting up. “What’s . . .”

“Its not fair!” Sakura blurted with a cracked voice. “Why? Why now? Now, when I finally understand my feelings for you . . .when this time . . .this time I can love someone who would love me the way I need to be loved. If only it hadn’t taken me so long . . .”

Naruto sat up and reached for Sakura’s hand. Slowly, he pulled her into his lap, and she threw her arms around his neck and buried her face in his chest. He rocked her gently, and rubbed her back as she cried. She was wearing a new Kimono, but he could feel the bandages on her back where he had scratched her while under control of the Kyuubi. She had already warned him not to apologize, but still . . .

“I mean,” Sakura sniffed, “we didn’t even get to go on a real date!”

Naruto almost laughed. After all they had been through, she was worried about that?

“Sakura . . .”

“Now I’m going to be left with nothing but my memories again.”

Naruto cupped her face in his hands, gently brushing away the tears with his thumbs.

“Then lets make it a good memory,” said Naruto. And then he kissed her. Naruto reflected upon how easy and comfortable it felt to kiss Sakura now, even though this time the salty taste of her tears made for a slightly new experience.

Sakura broke the kiss and placed her forehead on Naruto’s. She began to laugh in between sobs as she slowly composed herself.

“You are right, Naruto.” she said with a soft chuckle.

Naruto tried to hide his confusion, but knew he was doing a poor job.

“I do always cry too easily.” Sakura explained. “I’m sorry.”

Naruto shifted uncomfortably as he tried to figure out what he should say. His burns still hurt in some areas, especially on his legs.

Sakura shot to her feet.

“Oh! I wasn’t hurting you, was I?” she asked worriedly.

“Its nothing,” said Naruto. “It felt good to have you close.”

Sakura smiled. In the moonlight he could see her cheeks flush the same color of her hair.

“Naruto,” she said. “I do want to leave you with a good memory.”

Even in the low light of the room Naruto could see a glint in her emerald eyes as she pulled the window curtains closed, then began to undo fasteners at her neck and along one side of her scarlet Kunoichi uniform. With a mischievous smirk on her face, she let the garment slide off of her to pool at her feet. This left Sakura standing in form-fitting black sports-apparel. As Sakura crossed her arms and began to lift off the top, Naruto croaked a half-hearted protest.

“Sakura-chan! You . . . we can’t . . . not here!”

Sakura did not stop undressing. “This whole wing is still evacuated until you leave, Naruto. We won’t be bothered.” Sakura seemed to be enjoying the irony of how the precautions helped her in this situation. Naruto wasn’t sure he was quite as amused.

In a moment Sakura stood before Naruto in a simple but practical set of black bra-and panties. The moonlight coming through the window highlighted her muscular form and flat belly. Naruto swallowed as she crept gracefully up to him, playfully pushed him over, climbed on top of him, and kissed him softly.

Sakura was positively intoxicating. Naruto had absolutely no defense against her as she took control of all of his senses. His eyes were closed, so he could not see. He felt her warm breath on his ear as she broke the kiss, and he could not hear. Without her lips on his, his mouth went dry, so he could not taste. As she worked the buttons of his pajama-top loose he could not breathe, so he could not smell. As she kissed his neck, and then his chest, the shivers that worked their way down his spine made him go numb, so he could not feel. Somehow, he did feel her hand work its way south of his belly button, and Naruto snapped out of her spell.

“Sakura-chan, wait!” Naruto gasped. “Just how far do you intend to go? Don’t you think we are moving too fast?”

Sakura locked her gaze on his. Her eyes were aflame with a hunger he had never known existed within his teammate. Then she gave him her answer breathlessly, one word at a time, between a barrage of wet kisses, while her hands caressed his spiky hair.

“Naruto . . . mmmm . . .I . . . need . . . this. Ah! . . . I . . . need . . .you. Please!”

Naruto wasn’t satisfied. This wasn’t like Sakura, he thought. How would you know? Another part of him wondered. Conflicted, he gently pushed Sakura away from him.

She moaned in protest, but seeing he was serious, some of the hunger in her eyes was replaced with warmth and gratitude.

“Sakura-chan,” Naruto said. “We don’t have to rush this. If this is going where I think it is, its not a choice you can take back.”

“Thank you, Naruto.” Sakura said, sitting up. She sat on the side of the bed, and Naruto could no longer see her face. But as she spoke, Naruto could hear her worry, sadness, and heartache in every word. “I really do love you.”

Naruto smiled. He was about to say, “I love you too.” When Sakura continued.

“We are ninja. Our lives are full of hard choices. I want so badly to let everyone know how I feel about you, but I’m forced to act casual, because its professional. I never considered what it would be like to live like that, even when I . . .” Sakura stopped. She looked embarrassed.

Naruto thought he understood what she was going to say, but it didn’t matter. Sasuke was Sasuke, and Naruto understood he would always be a part of who Sakura was. Naruto was more concerned about the bandages that he could now see on her back from this angle. It was that reminder that he had hurt her again that hurt him more than anything. He took her hand in his.

Sakura turned and lay on him again, looking him directly in the eyes. She was close enough that her hair hung down and tickled his nose and forehead.

“Don’t you see, Naruto?” Sakura said in a low voice. “There is never a guarantee we will make it through the next battle, or even the next day. Our enemies are strong, and they won’t stop until they are defeated. Even training can be dangerous. We . . . we don’t have the luxury of time. We don’t even have the luxury of love.”

With this last point, Sakura brushed two fingers lightly against his lips, tracing them before she kissed him softly. Naruto felt hypnotized. At that moment, any resistance he still had was scattered to the winds.

“Make love to me, Naruto.” Sakura pleaded. She leaned in close to his ear, and the warmth of her breath made his skin crawl. She purred her next words. “And don’t hold back. You know I won’t. That’s our way of the ninja.”

She kissed him again, and hard. Naruto’s world spun. Sakura’s legs straddled his torso and clutched him tightly as her hands flew to his chest and ripped open his button-down pajama shirt, scattering buttons. Naruto’s hips bucked as Sakura’s body slid down across his loose fitting pajama bottoms. He had already been erect, but now he was so hard he feared his manhood might break off if Sakura made any sudden movements. The feel the soft silky material of her bra pressed against his chest sent another shiver down his spine. As she began to nibble his left ear and press herself even closer, Naruto lost all inhibition.

Naruto clutched Sakura to him as he sat up at a slight angle, and kissed Sakura’s jaw-line and neck. He kissed and gently suckled a pathway across Sakuras throat to where her neck was joined at the shoulder, and was encouraged by the response. Sakura sighed deeply and her head rolled to the side, inviting him to stay and bathe that area with his tongue. Soon he was kissing the middle of her chest, with his arms around her lower back. He felt her arms around his shoulders, and she was running her fingers through his hair as her back arched and her hips tilted into him. He felt a warmth between her legs that radiated onto his belly and beckoned to his loins.

When he found himself staring at her cleavage, he stopped. Nervously, he met her eyes.

“Its ok, Naruto,” Sakura said in an amused tone. “You can touch them.”

Warily, Naruto reached out a hand. He was convinced that at any moment he was going to get a lump on the head for what he was about to do. He closed his eyes and pressed his hand into her right breast. Naruto thought it was the most amazing thing he had ever felt, even if it was through a thin veil of lacy black material. When nothing painful happened, he opened his eyes and pressed his other hand into breast’s unattended twin.

Naruto’s eyes met Sakura’s and he saw that even though she smiled at him wickedly, she was blushing.

“You like them, Naruto?” she asked.

“Oh, yes!” Naruto said eagerly. “This is . . . amazing.”

Sakura seemed pleased. “What are you waiting for then? Take off my bra.”

Naruto obediently circled his hands behind her back as he buried his face in her cleavage. Sakura’ bosom felt so warm and soft, and the smell of rain-washed flower petals dominated his sense of smell again. It wasn’t long before Naruto realized he had a problem. Sakura’s bra was fastened by some sort of mysterious mechanism, and Naruto tugged at it futilely.

“Uh, Sukrah-chun” Naruto said, his voice muffled on account of his mouth still being tucked away into the still largely unexplored territory of Sakura’s chest. “How do you . . .?”

Sakura giggled. “So useless. Here, let me help you.”

In one expert motion Sakura popped her bra free, and Naruto’s eyes widened at his first look at his love’s exposed breasts. They were supple and firm, and they didn’t intimidate him like the old-lady Tsunade’s or even Hinata’s. Her nipples were small and budding.

“Woah-ho!,” Naruto said as he eagerly caressed Sakura’s exposed breasts. He pinched her nipples between thumb and forefinger, and Sakura whimpered.

“Gently, Naruto.” Sakura instructed. “That’s right . . . Oh! Yes, do it like that.”

Naruto greedily took a nipple into his mouth and began to suckle Sakura. Naruto moaned hungrily as he experimented with different amounts of pressure. He made sure each nipple got equal treatment, and the results pleased him.

“Ahhhhh!” Sakura gasped as she clutched his head to her. “That’s . . .Yes, bite it again! Oh! A little harder. Mmmmmmm.”

After a moment Sakura placed her hands on Naruto’s shoulders and pushed him back down. She kissed him softly, then kissed his neck in the same way he had done for her. She taunted him with small moans as she kissed her way to his broad muscular chest. She rolled her body off him and slightly to the side, and when she took one of his nipples into her mouth it was as if someone had flash frozen his lungs. One of her hands toyed with the small amount of chest hair he had, before it slid down over his belly just like before. This time he did not resist as the hand dipped slowly beneath his pajama bottoms.

Naruto felt his stomach tighten as Sakura took hold of his cock in her small, soft hand. Her tongue circled his nipple one more time before she raised her eyes to watch his response. Naruto closed his eyes and sighed in ecstasy as Sakura’s fingers toyed with the tip. He could feel those beautiful jade eyes on him as his hips bucked, and his back arched when she began to stroke him.

“Sa - ku - ra - chan!” Naruto breathed.

At first, she tugged too hard.

“Let it slide through your hand,” Naruto instructed. “Ah! Ha! That tickles!, a little harder.”

Naruto clawed at the mattress when he suddenly felt lips near his belly button. He held his breath as she playfully peeled back his pajama bottoms. The cool air on his fully naked body made Naruto shiver, but he wasn’t cold long. Naruto watched nervously as Sakura grabbed a pillow and slid the lower half of her body off the bed . Sakura regarded his penis thoughtfully, and appeared to be taking her time to examine every detail. Meanwhile, she continued to slide her hand up and down along its length. Sakura wiped something wet and sticky off of the tip with a finger, and without hesitation, tasted it. Naruto forgot to breathe, and was making small coking noises. Was she going to . . .? Naruto thought he might die if she did.

“Mmmmm. Not bad.” she said coyly.

Naruto nearly panicked as Sakura took his cock into her mouth without the slightest hesitation. The warm, wet feeling of her lips wrapped around the tip of his member nearly sent him over the edge right there. Her tongue slipped over the tip, and Naruto groaned deeply from somewhere at the depths of his soul. Sakura seemed pleased.

Sakura was pleased with the obvious pleasure Naruto was in. His body writhed under the motion of her mouth and tongue. After so much pain he deserved it. But this was going to be a challenge. Naruto was so big! Sakura had nothing else to compare it to, but she couldn’t deny feeling intimidated by the size.

Sakura moaned slightly and this seemed to set Naruto off even more. He gripped the mattress and sheets tightly as she licked up and down the underside of his shaft. His legs went ridged as she took his balls into her mouth and playfully stroked his shaft at the same time. She teased the blond curls that framed his rod with the tips of her fingers.

“Sakura! Sa- Sakura!” he called. “Oh! Yes! Can you . . .I mean if you can . . .”

Sakura giggled as she peered up at his nervous blue eyes.

“Can I what, Naruto?” She teased.

“You know . . .” he said, “suck it deeper? ”

“Mmmm-hmmmm”

Sakura gave the shaft another long, slow, lick to tease him, and she gave him her most mischievous smile.

Sakura worked her way back up his shaft and then tried to take as much of him into her mouth as she could. Her jaw hurt and she felt tears come to her eyes as she gagged. It was just so big! But Sakura wanted . . .needed to please him. She pumped chakra through her throat, allowing it to relax and expand. Then it became much easier than she had thought.

She slid Naruto’s cock down her throat all the way to the base. She moaned deep in her throat and Naruto cried out. He actually whimpered as she began to suck and bob her head up and down on his cock faster and faster. Sakura thought the helpless noise was cute, and it encouraged her. Every so often her lips would smack against the tip and she would pause for another deep breath. Sakura marveled at the feel of his manhood filling her mouth and throat, and relished in the taste of him. She began to wonder dimly if she would know if he was about to come, or if would tell her, but she was distracted as the heat between her legs gave way to wetness. Without even thinking she had shoved her dampened panties aside and slid a two fingers into herself. She moaned deeply in private relief, but it was Naruto’s touch she longed to feel.

The pillow she was kneeling on began to slide away, and it was becoming difficult to keep a rhythm, and her jaw was beginning to cramp. If only the bed was a little bigger.

Then Sakura had an idea. She slid her panties off and tossed them aside. Then she climbed back onto the bed and placed her knees on either side of Naruto’s head. Sakura clamped Naruto’s cock between her breasts and let the now lubricated member slide between them as she gave her jaw a rest. She tossed her hair and peered over her shoulder at Naruto as she sat lightly on his chest. She had hoped he would know what to do, but he was just staring at her innocence with an awe-struck look on his face, and Sakura felt herself flush with embarrassment.

“Please, don’t stare like that, Naruto.” she said. “If you don’t want to . . .”

Naruto snapped out of it. “Of course I want to Sakura-chan! I have to return the favor, right? I just . . . I’m not sure . . .”

Sakura felt a finger glide along her moist labia. She felt her body shudder in response.

“Naruto!” she squeaked.

“Is this? . . .” Naruto asked.

“Yes!” Sakura barked.

The finger brushed the nub of her clit, and Sakura collapsed forward. She felt even more embarrassed at the thought of her naked ass in the air like this. She took hold of some sheets as Naruto slid his finger inside her. She bit down on one of her knuckles as Naruto slid a second finger in and began to explore with them. She could feel him probe. He began thrusting and twisting with his fingers, and Sakura found herself trying to catch her breath.

She gasped and gulped, and when she felt three fingers sliding around in her depths, she thought she might explode. Finally, she felt Naruto’s hot breath against her clit as he took her into his mouth and began slowly licking and sucking her . . . her . . .

“Yes! Naruto! Eat it! Eat my pussy!”

Sakura shocked herself at her choice of language, but an animal instinct within her had taken over and she no longer cared about anything but telling Naruto exactly what she wanted, and how good it felt.

And it felt sooooo good! His tongue darted into her depths, and the moistness of it and the motion of it nearly drove her insane. She used that energy to return to sucking his cock. She cradled it in her breasts as much as she could. His hips bucked in response, and she pressed her hips down, pressing her womanhood into his face.

Sakura cupped his balls with her hands as she took his cock into her mouth once more. From this reverse angle, it somehow seemed even easier to go down on him. She flicked her tongue out to tickle the base, and Naruto began to breath rapidly. His soft moans caused vibrations that ran though the very core of her being. A new heat began to build in her loins. It scared her. She didn’t want to let it go. What was this feeling? The thought of losing all control was embarising, and then it happened. Wave after wave of electric energy racked her body. She felt drained as her legs clamped down around Naruto’s head. Just as Sakura thought she might collapse, Naruto grunted.

“Sakura-chan . . . I . .. Ah! Uh! Arrrrrrgh!”

Naruto’s cock erupted like a volcano, spraying Sakura’s face and breasts with white, hot stickiness. It shocked her, she wondered for a moment whether or a not she should be mad, but then she laughed. In fact, she found it strangely erotic. The sticky goo was sort of a trophy and a testament to her love-making skills. The bitter salty taste wasn’t that bad either, and Sakura slowly sucked Naruto clean before finally allowing herself to collapse.

Naruto lay panting for several seconds, enjoying the view while he caught his breath. Sakura’s womanhood had a strange beauty to it. The thin pink folds crowned by a thin strip of rose-colored curls was so much more than what was described in Ero-Senins’s dumb books. He was still relishing the taste of her as Sakura slowly turned herself around on the small bed. She warmed him like a blanket as she lay her head down on his chest for a moment. He closed his eyes and focused on every place that her body made contact with his as he rubbed her back gently along the spine. Her toes on his ankles, her arms under his shoulders, her soft breasts pressed against his stomach, her smooth stomach on his . . .

Naruto felt himself growing erect again, and so did Sakura. Keeping her body pressed to his, she gave him that wicked smile again as she straddled his stomach and gazed down at him with her powerful jade eyes. Keeping her eyes on his, she leaned in close as if to kiss him, but stopping short. She let him feel her breath on his lips, and made a show of licking hers but did not kiss him. A hand drifted back to stroke his cock, and Naruto had to bite his own bottom lip. She slapped his dick playfully against her tight, round ass cheeks until Naruto grew so hard he thought he might have this erection for the rest of his life. Naruto offered up his last best defense.

“Sakura-chan, wait. This memory will already be so amazing, are you certain . . .”

“Naruto,” interrupted Sakura. “Do you want me?”

“What?”

Sakura positioned her warm wetness over his cock and grabbed a handful of spiky hair on the back of his head as she pulled his face close to hers and repeated her words.

“Do . . You . . . Want . . . Me?”

Naruto swallowed and nodded.

“Then, like I said before . . . Don’t . . .Hold . . .Back!”

Sakura lowered herself onto him as she emphasized each of those last three words.

Sakura’s face contorted as if she was in pain, and Naruto worried that he would not fit. She was so incredibly tight, and as her satin walls enveloped his member Naruto was afraid he would come right then and there. Somehow, he held back. Something seemed to give way within Sakura, and she cried out sharply.

“Sakura-chan, are you . . .?”

“I’m fine” Sakura panted. Slowly, she began to gyrate her hips on top of him. Naruto lost all sense of time. He arched his back to try and meet her as she bucked her hips. Her tight, wet center pulsed around his shaft as she moved. She pressed her hands into his chest to hold herself up as she rode him faster and with more intensity. Naruto was stunned. He moaned deeply while Aakura panted and began to cry out over and over again.

“Ah! Oh Naruto!” She called. “ I-eeeeee! Yes! This is so . . .so . . good!”

Naruto tried to respond, but could only moan his agreement. It wasn’t long before Naruto figured out the right timing in which to arch his own hips to meet her, and the slapping of their bodies grew louder. It invigorated him.

Sakura leaned forward and pressed her breasts into his face, and Naruto eagerly suckled her in response, but he could only manage one at a time. Sakura moaned louder as she fondled the other one herself, holding it in place while she bounced higher and higher on his shaft.

Naruto palmed Sakura’s firm ass with his hands and pulled her to him each time their bodies met. Sakura repeated the word “yes” along with Naruto’s name again and again until finally Naruto felt her body spasm and her legs clinch him around the hips. She collapsed onto him, panting and sweating.

“I love you . . .Naruto” Sakura said before kissing him deeply.

“And, I love you, Sakura.” Naruto said. “But we’re just getting started.”

Indeed. Naruto was not done with her yet. He gently rolled Sakura onto her side without sliding out of her. With one arm Naruto supported Sakura’s leg to help maintain their union. Then, concentrating a vortex of chakra in his cock in the same way he would in the palm of his hand for the rasengan, Naruto began to cause his member to vibrate in a circular motion at an extremely rapid pace.

Sakura’s eyes grew wide. She inhaled deeply, but could not exhale. Naruto was barely moving his hips as he lay close beside her, but she felt shockwaves shooting from her loins up her spine. Naruto’s little technique stimulated her clit and made a wet schlucking sounds within her. She dug her nails into his back, desperately trying to find something to hold onto as wave after wave of pleasure assaulted her body. She had an orgasm. And then another. And then another. It was on that third one that at last she cried out.

“N-Naruto! Oh my! Uh . . uh! Naruto! Please! I can’t take it!”

Naruto sneered at her with lustful eyes. “You don’t like it, Sakura-chan?”

“No! I mean, yes! Nevermind, just don’t stop!”

Careful as to not send them both tumbling off the bed, Naruto rolled himself on top of her. Sakura felt secure and safe as his weight pressed down on her. She wrapped her legs tightly around his waist as he began to slowly grind his hips into her. The vibrations he was putting through her combined with his slow thrusts made her squirm. She clawed at his back. She moaned deep within her soul. It was a primal sound that surprised and embarrassed her.

Naruto’s body began to slap against her faster and harder. His girth stretched her. His length penetrated all the way to her core, and when he sucked gently on her neck again, Sakura felt her hips arch and her body spasm for a fourth time. She began to apply her own chakra through her vaginal walls, trying to squeeze Naruto with everything she had. The pleasure was so intense Sakura’s vision began to blur and sparkle as if she was drunk.

Suddenly Naruto began to shake and quiver as he continued to slam his body into hers.

“Naruto!” she screamed. “Uh . . Naruto! I need you to come! Come inside me!”

“Sakura-chan!” Naruto moaned. “I . . . uh . . . we can’t! You’ll get . . . “

”Don’t worry about that, damn it!” Sakura gasped. “Trust me, I can handle it! Now come! I can sense it building in your system already! Let it go! Come for me, Naruto-kun!

The bed creaked and groaned with their love making, and Sakura feared the power they were using would break the bed itself. The vibrations in Naruto’s cock slowed, and Sakura felt her lover stiffen.

“Ahhhh!” he cried. “Ahhhhhhh! Ahhhhh! Oooh!”

“Yes!” Sakura begged. “Give it all to me!”

Sakura felt a new warmth flood her depths and it set her free. Her world began to spin, and she felt her body shudder once more in response. Naruto kept thrusting for several more seconds until he collapsed onto her.

They were both panting, and drenched in sweat. They held each other despite being hot, sticky, and uncomfortable. Sakura wished they could stay joined like this indefinitely, but eventually, Naruto slid out of her. Naruto pulled the covers over them, and looked her in the eyes.

“Thank you, Sakura-chan.” Naruto said. “That was amazing. I promise there will be more memories like this to make.”

“I know, Naruto-kun.” Sakura said. “I know.”

Exhausted and with nothing left to say, the two lovers drifted off to sleep, right where they both felt they should always be, snug in each others arms.

Sakura's Discovery

Sakura's Discovery
Author: Rinkotsu

I guess this could count as the third installment of my series of funny stories. Sakura goes over to TenTen's shop/house and hears Naruto and TenTen discussing...something. I dunno. I think I went insane in my head worrying about the tornados (yes plural) that could/was plaguing the ATL.

Disclaimer: I have yet give you a reason to sue me lawyers...lets not give you one now.

Start!

Sakura pouted as she walked through the streets. While she was glad that Sasuke finally loosened up after pranking/torturing Naruto, he still denied her request for a date. He claimed that he had to prepare counter measures against Naruto if he ever decides to retaliate. Sighing, she decided to do something constructive for once and take Kakashi-sensei's advice and find something else to contribute to the team. While both Naruto and Sasuke were big ninjutsu users, Sasuke used taijutsu and Naruto used summoning arts. While she was learning how to be a medic, she could use some genjutsu and some taijutsu. But some how this wasn't enough. So she decided to learn kenjutsu. After walking around looking for a ninja shop, she found one.

“House of Blades? How...creepy...” She shook her head and entered. The shop seemed deserted as nobody was at the front counter, but she could hear voices in the next room. So being the nosy person she is, she quietly crept over the door and listened in.

“Oh wow Naruto its so big!”

She nearly fell over when she heard that. 'Wasn't that TenTen' she asked herself.

“I know right?” There goes Naruto. Her mind started to race as she tried to figure out what the hell was going on. To make matters worst, the only thing she could think was logical, her inner self supplied.

HES SHOWING TENTEN HIS MAN-MEAT!

She decided to listen in more to figure it out.

“So how long is it?”

“About 9 to 10 inches, give or take. I haven't had it measured it yet.”

“How in the hell did it get so big?”

“Your asking me?”

“Well it is yours, isn't it?”

Sakura blushed heavily as she pictured what she was talking about. Its not possible, she told herself, but there was rare cases of men being that long. She idly wondered if her Sasuke was that long.

“Can I...”

“Huh?”

“Can I touch it?”

“No way, it might go off if you do!”

“Its that sensitive?”

“Maybe I dunno, it has a mind of its own.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well sometimes when I pet it, it likes it, and wants more, but sometimes when others touch it, it goes off.”

“Well we won't know until we try.”

“Err...go ahead, but I warned you...”

There was a silence as Sakura heard something. It sound like rubbing, which made her blush more.

“Oh wow, its muscles tense up in my hand then relaxed. Is it suppose to do that?”

“I dunno, it never happened like that before.”

“Well...what are you to do with it?”

“Well I-” Sakura had heard enough as she passed out from blushing too much. Unfortunately she fell forward and opened the door causing panic.

“Sakura!?” TenTen exclaimed...then she saw the passed out girl. “Sakura!”

Sakura awoke a few moments later. She opened her eyes and saw the concern looks from Naruto and TenTen.

“Glad for you to join us in the world of the living, Sakura!” Naruto said jokingly.

“What happened? Where am I?”

“You passed out from the heat, I guess,” TenTen said. Then she frowned, “What were you doing anyways.”

“Um...I came over to find a weapon and I heard some talk-” Her eyes widen, “Ohmyfeakingodyoutwoweredoingit!” TenTen blinked, confused, but Naruto from dealing with Konohamaru heard what she said.

“We did not do the dirty deed, even thought I'd be the lucky one if she said we could,” Naruto said cheekily, causing TenTen to blush, “However we were talking about Mr. Snap.”

She blinked, “Whose Mr. Snap?”

“My Venus Fly Trap of course!” He pointed in the corner. She looked and saw the giant plant sitting in the corner...glaring at her.

“Umm...how come that plant is glaring at me?”

“Oh Mr. Snap is a Nin-Plant. I feed him some of my chakra and old kunai for food and he gains more human qualities. Thusly the muscles in his leaves.” To make the point, the plant flexed his muscles.

“Oh...” Sakura said, “Well let me get home, I'm sure my mom is getting worried.”

“Okay. See ya Sakura!” Sakura left the room, and went home. TenTen looked at Naruto. Naruto looked at TenTen.

“Wanna do it?” She asked bluntly.

“Sure!”

Santa i've been naughty christmas speical

hello everyone merry christmas sorry this story came like allot later than exspected i do that to yall allot don't i anyway this story is a christmas gift that i give to u my fans for reading my fic (and right in time christmas is almost over) anyway some of you may know i am athiest and don't believe in the whole god ..."junk" but i still celbrate christmas its just too fun any way let me get yall to ur reading once again look at the warning!!

This fic contain pedofolic content, strong sexual themes and desciption this story has sex!! in it so get over it

Santa I’ve been naughty
Author: reesey boy1169

Here I am sitting in front of the fire place waiting for Santa for all you nonbelievers who say its is a waist of time you are wrong! Santa does exist, although I never seen him before. I know that he is real.

Anyway the reason I am here waiting for Santa isn’t because I want to prove he is real, cuz he is. Its because I’ve been a very bad girl this year and I want to try and reason with Santa.

I asked Naruto last week if he knew anything that he knew of that might help me win Santa’s charm and what he said confused me a little. He that that a bondage suit and a dildo would do the trick. Me only being ten years old had no idea what that stuff was, but Naruto was nice and helped me. He showed pictures of these objects in some magazines that had naked girls in them.

It was very difficult for me to get my hands on that stuff though. I had to make the bondage suit myself keeping the picture Naruto showed me as a guild to how it looked. I’m not sure what was the point of the suit though I mean it barely covered me and there was a big hole in the middle of the crouch showing my pee pee whole. The dildo was a little easier to get though luckily my mom had one in her dresser, but it stuck worse than rotten eggs so I had to wash it a little.

So here I am waiting for Santa with a bondage suit on and a dildo in one hand. I heard a click click click on the ceiling. I squirmed in excitement I couldn’t believe I was about to meet Santa. I heard something fall down the chimney and sure enough it was Santa in his traditional red suit and holding the bag of toys.

Santa didn’t see me I was hiding in the corner Of the room where the light switch was, waiting for the right time to confront Santa.

Santa put down his bag seeing the cookies I left for him. O yeah I almost forgot I crushed up some pill that Naruto gave me into the milk I think the pill’s name started with a “v” I am not sure once again I am only ten.

Santa ate the cookies in a hurry and chugged down the milk wiping his snow-white beard. He turned back to his bag and pulled out a box coal. I knew it was my time to move.

I flipped the lights on Santa was startled and turned around and saw me. He had a shocked look on his face as I said, “Santa please I know I have been a naughty girl this year but I can make it up to you!” I smiled on the inside I said that line in the perfect what did Naruto call it “seductive tone”.

Santa was shaking his head at me, “ho ho ho little girl what in the world are you doing?”

“Santa I’m here to be on your nice list!” I pulled a wire that was connected to my index finger a chain wrapped around Santa’s legs and arms immobilizing him: he fell to the ground.

I leaped on top of him sitting on his crouch where I felt the pill taking effect. Santa struggled His belly jiggling. There was no way he was getting away from me.

“Little girl please let me go I need to deliver the presents.” He pleaded. I laughed at the thought of letting Santa go before I am done was done. I was getting my doll.

“Santa come on I know you want to I mean explain this.” I undid his pants big black belt and reached into his pants. I pulled out Santa’s large pee pee. It felt warm in my hands I could feel the blood pulse through it. I rubbed his thing against my cheeks knowing it should have felt wrong, but I am only ten 3.

Santa moaned real loud, “please little girl stop this! This is very naughty!”

“I would quiet down if I were you Santa wouldn’t want my parents to wake up would you?” I smiled I knew I had him beat. Santa would never want to be seen as a sicko not ever.

I moved around a little bit on Santa so that my face was right above his pee pee and my pee pee whole was right above his face. (Naruto called it the 69 position) I stared at Santa’s thing for a few more seconds and put it into my mouth. It was the weirdest thing I ever tasted. The skin on it had a salty taste and there was something sweet coming from the hole at the top. I put it as far into my mouth without gagging and moved my tongue around it making sure I tasted ever spot.

I looked back a little, I saw Santa with his eyes closed, and his face redder than his suit. He was clearly enjoying this. I took the dildo that was in my hands and shoved it into my pee pee whole.

O how it hurt as I put it inside of there, but it also felt weird in a good kind of way. I shoved the dildo all the way in and I left it there and focus more on Santa’s birds. I pushed my head up and down over it all the while making my tongue touch every spot.

Then I stopped and took Santa’s thing out of my mouth and turned around so that I could look at Santa. He had a very hazy eyes he clearly wanted “something”. I knew I had persuaded him and I would be on the nice list now.

“Santa so am I on the nice list now?”

“y-yes Mougi as long as I get to do something before I leave.”

“ok!” I grinned and undid Santa’s chains, freeing him he got up and quickly pinned me against the couch in that was right in front of the fire place

“so Mougi you like being naughty ?” Santa said grabbing the dido that was still lodged in my whole and pushed it in and out.

“yes yes Santa I do!” I said what Santa was doing felt even weirder then when I put it in. I remember now that Naruto said Santa would act a little crazy, but I never thought like this.

Santa stopped pushing the dildo into me and quickly dropped his pants and underwear. I looked at that hairy thing that pointed right at my cat. Santa had just put the dildo into my butt sending a great pain down my backside.

“does it hurt little girl?” Santa said with a happy look., As he continued to put the dildo more and more into my butt. O-Santa it feels so weird!” was all I said as he pushed down on me more his thing went into my wee-wee. It felt weird (in a good way) now the dildo that Santa stilled pushed in and out of my butt was hitting something that made everything tingly.

Santa kept pushing his body against me, his bird going further inside of me. It was tingly all over everywhere. Santa started to go faster his belly full of jelly flapping against me. He trusted one more hard time and I felt him pee into me. However it felt thicker than regular pee.

Santa releaved pressure one my chest and shoulders allowing me to move my arms. Santa moved his head down to my crouch where he pressed his lips against my pee pee hole that still had the “pee” in it. I felt tingly then Santa put his tongue in and found a spot that made me go almost crazy. A big rush of sensations hit me then a big gush of pee came out of me. Santa licked all of it up happily.

Santa got up and put back on his clothes. I laid they’re taking one last look at Santa’s birdy before he put his pants on.

“ho ho ho little girl well you certainly have changed my mind,” Santa put the box of coal and took out a present and put it under the tree.

I smiled some tears coming out of my eyes I was so happy, “thanks Santa!”

“Ho ho ho no thank you Mougi Santa hadn’t had any action in years,” Santa waved shooting back up the chimney.

I laid on the couch and dreamed of sugar plum……..

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The next morning Mougi’s parents found her on the couch. She of course told them what happened and the parents pressed charges against Santa.

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Santa is being charged with 1st degree rape, 2nd degree child molestation, 1st degree child abuse, and a parking ticket? However because these crimes were committed in Japan Santa only got 2 days prison (where he picked up the nick name ho ho)

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The toys companies’ are suing Santa for everything (finally)

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Naruto was surprised as hell when he found out Mougi achilly did it. Naruto laughed up until he got raped (again)

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Kakashi and Tsunade “read” twas the night before Christmas that night kakashi had enough “reading stamina” to read the book three times (Tsunade was asleep halph way through the second)

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Neji was raped by tentacles that came out of a Christmas tree

(Tenten had no comment)

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Itachi finally got Sakura’s forehead under the misotoe (Sakura thought he was Sasuke again and had sex with again)

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Zohestel had sushi with Reese (I wish lol)

Merry Christmas!!
And for all the other poeple out there happy hoilydays (don't want to be offencive)

well this is my fan info part where all i tell u about my latest ideas naruto gets shadow cloned raped chapter 5 is going ok i am finished with the first rape scene and i guess i should say those who hate to see kibs get hurt should take precaushion when reading as for another fic i am dry right now it should come to me soon though i have writen some thoughts and first pages but nothin big any way that is it bye for now and happy new years

Teasing

Teasing
Author: Lord Geryon

Our story begins with a pair of ninja strolling slowly through the nearly rebuilt Hidden Village of Konoha. The ninja are both blond, one is male and the other is female. The male's hair is unruly, sticking out in all directions. The female's is pulled back into four spiky pony tails.The female is wearing a low cut white blouse with a fishnet shirt underneath and a white miniskirt. The boy is wearing black slacks and a mostly black shirt with the tops of the shoulders and arms orange.

The sky is dark, the stars shining brightly. The pair are walking in the direction of a fairly well known hotel, the female's current residence. Their hands are linked, fingers entwined. They are both smiling, the girl's smile content, the boy's a wide grin.

The boy turns to the girl, asking, "So, how did you enjoy the night, Temari-chan?" His voice is a bright and cheerful as his grin.

Temari give's Naruto's hand a squeeze and bumps him with her shoulder lightly. "You know I loved it." Her own voice is much more sedate, but still quite happy.

"So, I guess this means I get a second date?"

She regarded with a raised eyebrow at that. "Getting confident, are we?" The twinkle in her eye gave it away for the joke it was.

"I'm always confident," Naruto exclaimed loudly, raising his left arm and pointing skyward.

Temari rolled her eyes, but smile anyway. "Cocky is more like it."

"Hey!" Naruto pouted for a moment, then gave her a grin. "You know you cannot resist my animal magnetism!"

Temari didn't deny that, her cheeks blushing ever so slightly.

When the denial he expected didn't come, he regarded her with a curious gaze. It was dark but his eyes could still see the blush, as faint as it was. Naruto grinned his biggest grin yet, but didn't say anything. He didn't want to ruin the moment. He gave her a hand a squeeze though, to let her know he knew.

Had this been any other boy or man, Temari would have introduced him to the painful side of her fan, but this was Naruto, the boy she'd been crushing on since he'd saved her from a life of fear. It was his fight with Gaara that saved her. Naruto had beaten the idea of love and respect into Gaara's head, and now Temari no longer lived each day with the dread that it might be her last, that her brother might snap and kill her. Naruto had rescued her from that, and Temari had fallen in love with him for bringing light into the darkness of her previous day to day existence.

Naruto knew none of this though, and despite how happy he was that she'd agreed to go out with him, deep down he was curious why Temari accepted. So, In typical Naruto fashion, he blurted out the question. "Why'd you go out with me?" He was embarassed to have just blurted it out like that, so he attempted to clarify it. "I mean, I'm happy that you did agree, I'm just curious why you went out with someone like me."

He wasn't the only one embarassed. Temari was too, not because he had asked, but at the answer to the question. She didn't want to admit how much she liked him, so she decided to tease him, trying to distract him from the question. "With that Uchiha gone, I guess you're the next best thing."

"I'm a replacement, is that what you're saying?" His voice had cooled considerably, and Naruto's eyes had turned cold.

"Yep. You're not a very good one though, you're not as cool or cute as he is," Temari replied, a faint teasing quality to her voice now.

She was surprised when he jerked his hand from hers, and turned to walk the other way without another word. Temari stopped, and looked worriedly at him. She hadn't meant that, and she thought he knew it. She hurried after him, and put a hand on his shoulder. "Naruto, wait."

He shrugged her hand of his shoulder, and said coldly, "Go wait on your precious Uchiha traitor. I have more important things to do than waste my time on a bored fangirl." With that, he leapt away to a nearby roof top and was gone.

Temari knew she'd not be able to follow him in his mostly black outfit, so she just stared in the direction he'd left in. The expression on her face was a combination of anxiety and horror. Things had been going so wonderfully that night, and then it had turned to shit in the blink of an eye. And it was her fault. "No... I didn't mean it, Naruto," she whispered, her eyes becoming moist.

She realized that if she didn't apologize right away, the hurt she'd dealt to him would fester and then she would lose him forever. And she couldn't allow that.

After nearly two hours of searching, she finally found him atop the Hokage monument. He was sitting on one of the heads, looking out over the village. She could tell he was hurting, by the way his shoulders were slumped.

Temari walked toward him, stopping several feet behind him. "Naruto, I'm sorry. I didn't mean any of that, I was just teasing you." Her voice was soft and it had a definate tone of genuine sorrow. "I didn't want to admit how much I like you because I thought you'd think I was just a shallow little girl." She took in a deep breath, and let it out in a hitching sigh. "Please... forgive me?"

Naruto didn't answer for several long moments, and Temari was about to turn away and leave when he spoke. "It hurt to hear that. A lot. He left Konoha to go to our enemy. He tried to kill me. He tried to kill Sakura. He even became that snake bastard's new vessel. And you know the worst part? It's been six years since he left, and yet almost all his fangirls are still devoted to him and they still hate me for not bringing him back." He laughed, a flat and unamused noise. "I'm second to a traitor and empty shell. Isn't my life grand?"

Temari had listened quietly, letting him speak. As he went on, she could see why he'd react like he had to her teasing. She closed the rest of the distance, and knelt behind him. Putting her arms around him and pressing her face into the back of his neck, she answered. "No. You're not second best to anybody, Naruto. You're the best person in the world, as far as I'm concerned. As as far as Sasuke... You're completely right, Naruto. He's a traitor, a betrayer, and he's not worth the mud you scrape off your shoes. I never liked him, Naruto. I'm not just saying that, I truly never did like him. I thought he was always too arrogant and stuck up." She took a deep breath, and admitted it. "I've loved you, Naruto, longer than he has been gone. I started loving you, I think, when you defeated Gaara and gave that speech about loneliness and loved ones."

Naruto, once again, was quiet for a while. Temari didn't mind too much. As long as he wasn't pulling away, she might still be forgiven. "I forgive you, Temari-chan. I understand you were teasing, and didn't mean it now. I just... I just thought that that bastard had come back to haunt me yet again."

"Thank you, Naruto-kun. I promise, I will never mention his name again." Temari was deeply relieved, and her voice expressed it. She slid around to sit beside him, against him actually. She caught one his hands in hers, and squeezed it.

He looked down at her hands wrapped around his for a couple minutes, and leaned over and gave Temari a quick peck on the cheek, which made her blush. "I like you, Temari-chan." She smiled at that. "It's not love, but it's a strong like."

She leaned over and returned the kiss, on the lips this time, just a peck. "That's ok, Naruto. I didn't expect that you did, but I'm happy to hear it's more than just being interested." Temari have him a happy smile.

Naruto returned her smile, and freed his hand from hers to put it around her and hug her. "So, I guess this means I get a second date?" She laughed at that.

Once again, an idea that just leapt into my head.

The Beginning of Something Good

Disclaiming something! - Don't own the characters but I partly own the thought for this one shot. ... I think it's gonna be a one-shot. Hehe I can be pretty out there sometimes. I don't know if I want it to be a one-shot or more until after I finish the first chapter. So I’ll tell you in the end. Contains some random make out stuff and maybe some other stuff. Not so sure yet though. It's for someone I know so the pairing is his fav. Haha. Oh god I’m scared. Haha Even though I have no clue how this pairing works out. I don't like it! But, nooooo he just can't suffer with one little yaoi story. That's what I wanted it to be but since it’s more or less for him I may as well have it so he'll enjoy it. -Blushes-

The Beginning of Something Good
Author: Gaaras-left-hand-man

That was different. Normally it was him who started it. He liked it when she took charge and did that. Her body was telling him that he was doing all the right things to it. His tongue traced lines on her lips. She gently pushed closer to him. Something entirely new. She parted her lips slowly, gaining him entrance. He explored her sweet tasting mouth. She traced his chest with her forefinger and kissed him passionately. He broke away for two seconds, his blonde hair covering his eyes slightly.

"Temari, what ever happened to Shikamaru?" Naruto asked quietly. He wanted answers to some pressing questions. Why was he the one lucky enough to have this kunoichi? How the hell was he better then Shikamaru?

"He can't give me what you can, Naruto-kun. He can't pleasure me and he defiantly can't match your glory." She whispered, sounding conceited and seductive. How had he lasted this long with her? She was so cruel yet so...

He smiled at the compliment and pressed his lips to hers again. His began to caress her back as she lowered her hands farther down his chest, playing with his bellybutton.

He looked up, hearing his name being called. His dazed eyes glanced up at the one calling him. The girl looking at him was stunning if anything. Her blond hair caught in the sunlight, her dark turquoise eyes flashing menacingly. His head shot up in shock. She was less then a foot from his nose and he squeaked, covering his mouth quickly. He blushed and mumbled something incomprehensible and looked her in the eye. They were cold but held something deep in their midst. Greed? Loathing? Contemptment? It was the kunoichi from sand. Who ever knew what she was thinking?

He stood and she watched him. They were on a very 'important' mission. How delivering tea was important, Naruto didn't know. He studied her short dress and the chain mail that covered her shoulders and left leg. Her pale beauty astounded the blond boy. He had truly spent too much time with Jiaraya as he found himself longing for her. He simply reached his hand out for hers, staring straight ahead.

Temari's hand darted forward two milliseconds before his took it. She began pointing ahead, at an unseen enemy probably. Naruto sighed and looked to where she was pointing. Three shinobi from Konoha were walking up the path in front of them. A blond girl, a lazy boy with a poof of hair and a man with an unlit cigarette in his mouth. A chubby boy stuffing his face came bounding behind them, "Hey guys! Wait up!" He was calling.

"HEY! Shika! Hi!" Naruto yelled to the group. Shikamaru looked up and sighed. Naruto was always so full of energy. He brightened at the sight of Temari walking towards him. He smiled softly and Naruto looked between them. What was he missing?

They drew closer to each other, the two groups looking between the other. They decided to stop and have a break together. Shikamaru and Temari sat off by themselves. Naruto watched them, not really following the conversation around him.

"Naruto. Oy, Naruto. Are you listening?!" Choji asked Naruto, knocking him out of his reverie. Naruto looked up in shock.

"Hunh? Oh uh yeah." He spluttered out, looking away from the couple by the tree. Ino sighed.

"So now you're an emo robot fighting monkey?" Choji asked. Naruto looked at him, a perplexed expression written over his face.

"A what?"

"An emo robot fighting monkey. That's what I asked you and you said yeah." Choji laughed. Naruto's face reddened. He didn't think spacing out with this group was such a good idea.

"Oh. Sorry guess I’ll have to pay more attention." Naruto stuttered, blushing more deeply. He could be such a fool.

Why he was remembering this now, he didn't understand,

His sigh made her stop. She looked him in the face, a pout spreading over her lips. He moved his hand to her cheek, stroking it gently. He lowered his gaze and sighed again.

"This doesn't feel right, Temari-chan. I don't want this, not now." Shikamaru groaned as she moved her hand farther down him. Her pout became more pronounced as she played with his partially naked body. "I mean it Temari. Stop."

"Oh. But why, Shika-kun?" She nibbled seductively on his ear lobe, making her voice sound hurt but seductive. He set his face in a hard line and pushed her away.

"Because I just can't. Not tonight. I have important work to take care of tomorrow and I’m really not in the mood now." He stood, grabbing his shirt from the floor. She took a chance and rushed forward, bringing him down onto the bed. He gasped at the feel of cold metal around his wrist. She brought his hand up and latched the other end of the hand cuff to the bed frame. He struggled to get up but she was on top of him, already stroking his exposed chest.

"Temari! Stop! Stop right now. You know this is classified as rape if you do anything to me. You can go to jail. Get off me." He bucked, trying and failing to get Temari off of him. She clamped her teeth around his nipple and he gasped. She sighed after that and put her hand up to the cuff, the tiny key in her fingers.

"Why do I have to stop?" She asked innocently. He glared at her. He was not finding this funny in the least.

"Just let me go. I don't like this." He said in a cold tone. He was surprised that she did actually unlock the metal on the bed and then from around his wrist.

"Can't we just go a little farther?" Her voice was pleading now. She couldn't hide it anymore. He shook his head and sat, then stood. He grabbed his shirt again and left the room, leaving her to her shame.

"I'm not coming back, either." His voice said from the door to the hall. Her eyes clouded with tears. She detested her dominant side. It always got her into trouble.

Naruto's mind kept wondering as he began getting harder. His thoughts went to Sasuke, his knight; Sakura, his goddess; Kakashi, his mentor; and Iruka, his savoir. He couldn't help but think about them. They were the most important people in his life. Why wouldn't he think about them on a night like this? Because he was with the devil. He could only think of the happiness while being with the devil.

He stopped kissing her neck, stopped responding at all. She looked up at him, her eyes pale in the dark. Her face spelled confusion. Naruto looked into those eyes before speaking.

"I'm done. I don't like this anymore. I want to go home." Naruto whined. Temari just stayed there. Unable to move, even if she wanted to. He couldn't have just said what she thought she heard. He couldn't have said to stop. Could he? "Temari, move." She had heard correctly. Her body moved back on its own. She didn't like this. It seemed too much like deja vu. She blinked as he stood up. He hauled on his clothes and stepped over to the door.

"W-why?" She managed to whisper. He looked back at her, his face grave.

"I just can't do this. It feels to wrong." He was thinking about all those he cared for. He needed someone that would benefit him. Someone who truly cared about him.

"Sasuke? Hi. I need to talk."

I think that'll stay a one shot. There you go Ryan-kun. I'm sorry that I put in that last line. Hehehe -guilty smile- I really made Temari look like a slutty bitch in that one. I feel bad. I love Temari so I don't know why I made her like that. This was probably a really sucky one. Tell me in a review what you think of it. I will give you cake if you do. XD

Unexpecting

Ok guys. Here’s another oneshot lemon. Obviously, I lied to you guys again. I guess I’ll just try my best to upload each request every 2-3 weeks. For Whitefang16

Naruto & Tenten
Author: Buzz Of The Leaf

“Rasengan!”

Naruto ran frantically towards a log standing towards, while his clone poofed away. He held his hand out and his jutsu hit smack dab in the middle of the log, leaving the log sliced in half on the ground. He panted heavily with sweatdrops running down his face.

Meanwhile in the distance.

Lee was doing push ups and whatnot, while Tenten was throwing her ninja tools at Neji.

She held up her scroll and threw it up in the air, unraveling as it goes up. She jumped and grabbed the end of the scroll and spun up. Ninja tools started flying towards Neji.

Neji closed his eyes and concentrated. He kicked his leg to one side picking up dust in the air. He started his rotation, deflecting all of Tenten’s tools. Neji stopped and saw tools all around him.

“We should stop for the day. We’ve been training for hours now. Let’s rest for a bit.” Neji stated.

After awhile, Tenten saw that her teammates were into a deep nap. She heard something and turned towards that direction. She started running and stopped and stared.

Naruto collapsed and opened his jacket and took off his black tee leaving him half naked. Tenten saw that Naruto had been training for awhile since he had sweat all over him. For some reason, this turned her on.

Naruto continued training.

“Kage bunshin no jutsu!”

Tenten gasped and continued staring at lots of half naked Narutos.

“We’re gonna fight to the death, so bring it on!” Naruto yelled at his clones.

From the view she had, it looked like a bunch of ants clumped up together. Lots of white smoke kept appearing, leaving two left. They both leaped towards each other and punched each other in the face making them fly and hit the ground. Naruto panted more heavily now, while his clone dispersed into smoke.

Naruto grabbed his water bottle and poured most of the water onto himself. This definitely turned Tenten on and she started rubbing through her pants to her womanhood. Naruto’s body was glistening and reflecting the sun off of him showing off his body even more.

Naruto suddenly heard something and threw a kunai in that direction. His kunai was deflected by another. Tenten jumped down and walked towards Naruto.

‘His body looks sooo hot right now,’ Tenten thought.

Naruto looked surprised as Tenten ran her finger around his shoulders. She pushed him onto the stump behind him and started licking his water-covered chest.

“Ugh…..Tenten……” Naruto moaned.

His wet hair started dripping water onto her brown hair. A tent started growing down there and Tenten noticed and started working down towards it, Naruto moaning and loving every second of it. She started unzipping his pants and he gasped as his hard member hit the rushing cold air. She started to lick his tip and underside making Naruto moan. She took the whole thing in and started bobbing her head in time with Naruto’s thrusts. Naruto leaned back and grabbed the stump with his claws.

‘Hey Naruto! Liking that BJ she’s giving ya!’

‘Oh… yes!...I mean… Shut up!’ He broke the connection with Kyuubi.

Tenten continued sucking his member. He gasped loudly and spurted out his seed into Tenten’s mouth. She licked it up around her mouth and got up. She started to undress. Naruto pumped while she did this and soon after they were both undressed. Tenten jumped onto Naruto and started a moist kiss. They both closed their eyes and battled with their tongues and explored every nook and cranny inside their mouths. Naruto soon broke the kiss and sat Tenten down on the stump. He started kissing and licking her neck, moving down to her exquisitely shaped breasts. He cupped her left while sucking on her right. He licked her nipple making it hard, and continued onto her left breast. While he was licking her breasts, he worked his fingers at her womanhood. He started thrusting in roughly making Tenten moan loudly. Naruto brought his head up and started a kiss again, muffling her moans as he thrusted his fingers in.

Soon, she spilled her juices onto Naruto’s fingers. He brought them up to his mouth and sucked on them. He positioned himself at her womanhood and decided to tease her. He rubbed his hard member against her clit continuously.

“Stop…..teasing…..Naruto!” Tenten moaned.

“Fine. If you want it that way.”

He shoved his member in, and inch at a time. His hair brought more water onto her body. He figured she was ready for it all, so he shoved it all the way. Tenten screamed lightly, but soon was muffled again by Naruto’s mouth, bringing them into a kiss again. He thrusted in hard and deep each time. She continued her muffled screams, and after a while…

“Here it comes!” Naruto yelled.

He spilled his seed into her and fell next to Tenten panting hard. Tenten got on top and pecked his lips.

“We should get ready before anyone sees us.” Tenten noted.

Little did they know that Neji and Lee were actually watching them with fully hard members.

That’s it. Hope you guys like it!

R&R

Love and Life Are a Fickle Thing

Summary: High school is hard enough, but to throw love and real life events in the mix? You’re just asking for trouble. Prologue is ‘I Don’t Want to Love.’ You may want to read that first. NaruHina, SasuSaku, and more.

Warning: Deffinite OCC, some strong language, some sexual humor, may be some sexual situations, blah, blah, blah.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto…-sniffle sniffle-
Author: False Tears 'N' Fake Smiles

Ages:

Sophomore (15): Naruto, Hinata, Sasuke, Sakura, Gaara, Matsuri(She got moved up a grade but she is still 15), Kiba, Riki, Shino, April, Riley, Ino, Chouji, Shikamaru, Yuki, Sai.

Junior (16): Neji, TenTen, Lee, Reed, Kankuro, Temari(She got held back she is 17)

Love and Life Are a Fickle Thing

Memorable First Day in High School

A beautiful, silent morn-

BEEP BEEP BEEP

Interrupted by an alarm clock

BEEP BEEP BEEP

Now she would have to get up and turn it off.

BEEP BEEP BEEP

Thus the creation for it.

BEEP BEEP BEEP

Too bad this alarm clock will never see the light of day again.

BEEP BEEP BE-

A pale-eyed girl, normally shy and timid(sometime0, roughly chucked her alarm clock at her wall. Making it shatter in a million pieces.

Finally. Some peace and qui-

BEEEEEP BEEEEEP BEEEEEP

This alarm clock just had to be persistent. It seems that it was still going off. It was just really slow and quiet.

You could just feel the deadly aura coming from the girl. She walked to the bathroom and looked in the mirror. She had bed-head and dark circles under her eyes.

‘Perfect way to start off the first day of school.’ she thought bitterly.

She grabbed a towel and jumped in the shower. That always woke her up.

After a quick fifteen minute shower she got out and grabbed her make-up bag with all the things she needed to get ready in the mornings.

She walked back to the mirror and looked in it.

‘Much better.’

She brushed her teeth and walked to her bed.

She grabbed her clothes and made sure to lock the door. Though she was pretty sure her dad wasn’t up.

She put on her under garments and then her tripp pants. They were white and black with chains. She put on a tight black shirt that said ‘I’m Sotally Tober.’ After that she got on her tripp gloves. She put on her socks after that. She put on her ‘Bullet For My Valentine’ jacket. It had bullets in it in the shape of a heart.

She sat at her desk and put on the eye-liner and silver eye-shadow while facing the mirror. Her hair had dried and she just brushed it to get the knots out.

Now when you look at her, one word would come to mind: Trouble-maker. But she was a nice girl. Sure a few pranks here and there, but she wouldn’t murder someone. I mean, all her friends wore the same stuff. You could say that was their style(Her dads reaction was also a plus). They were, like the outcasts. Hot and sexy outcasts, but outcasts all the same. Though her friends I’d have to deal with some fan-boys/girls.

After she got finished brushing her mid-back length blue hair she put on her shoes. She paused and listen. She could here a persons deep breathing.

Her dad.

Her cousin, Neji, was at his girlfriends house. He spent the night.

Most parents would find that too dangerous. Like they would do ‘stuff’. But they weren’t like that. Neji was too responsible.

She grabbed her book bag and put on her vans. She also grabbed her soccer bag. Though some things in there really weren’t for soccer.

Like the whipped cream, chocolate sauce, eggs, streamers, and spray paint bottles. But we’ll get to that later.

She climbed out her window onto the roof and breathed in the fresh air. She took out her cell phone. She looked at the time. It was five.

‘Okay, Neji is probably on his way to Sakuras’ with TenTen. If she is even awake.’

She smiled.

One, because of the thought him trying to get her up.

Two, because she was going to Sakuras’.

Three, because who was at Sakuras’.

Hinata was so busy in her own little world that she almost walked of the roof. Her room was on the second floor. They made their attack into like a second room and she got it all.

But back to falling. She latched onto the water pipe and thanked kami-sama that she didn’t fall. That would have hurt later.

She climbed down the black orchid bush that led to the attic.

When he got to the ground she smiled again.

Freedom.

She started walking and got down to the corner before someone called her.

“Silver-eyes!” She smiled. She knew only one person who called her that. she turned around and smiled more with a blush.

There was her boyfriend running down the road.

His golden hair was a little messier that usual and his black tripp pants were a little lower that they should be, showing some of his orange boxers. Hinata blushed a little harder when she noticed. He had an orange shirt on and it was a little wrinkled. You would have to actually pay attention to his shirt to know what it said.

It was supposed to say ‘If you can read this, put me back on my bar stool.’ But since it was supposed to be said by a drunk, its writing was all messed up.

He was trying to put on his jacket while trying to get his jacket on, at the same time trying to eat a chocolate pop-tart.

Ah, same old Naruto.

“Naruto-kun. How are you this morning?” she smiled warmly. She didn’t stutter anymore. Only when she got embarrassed. Which did tend to happen a lot.

She only got a yawn as her answer. She giggled and he blushed.

He smirked and grabbed her hand and pulled her into a kiss. But before she could think what happened he pulled away.

He started to walk while towing her behind. He looked back just in time to see that she figured out what happened. She blushed at least ten shades of red. He smiled.

He loved it when she blushed.

“So you ready for this year’s?” his eyes glinted. She knew he wasn’t talking about school.

“W-well,” she stuttered from the kiss. “Y-you and Sasuke-san d-did make t-this y-years a little hard. I mean how are we supposed to-” she was cut off by someone knocking them over.

They all tumbled over to the ground. It wouldn’t have been so bad if Naruto and Hinata were kissing. Their hands not really resting in the right places.

If you know what I mean.

They jumped up and blushed immensely. They turned their heads to the side though when they heard an ‘ow.’

Right there, on the ground, was TenTen. She was rubbing her back. Her hair was out of her normal two buns and she was wearing green tripp pants and a green shirt with a black jacket.

“God, couldn’t you guys be more gentle?”

“No.” They both said and laughed as she pouted. Hinata bent down and helped her up. They saw Neji casually walking to them.

“Sup?” He said.

Naruto growled.

“We have to go!” he yelled. “We cant’ be late to Sakuras’. Teme will be me up thinking it was me who made us late.”

“It was I.” Neji said.

“Damn right it is.”

“No, you said ‘it was me’. It’s said ‘it was I’.” Naruto just growled.

“Okay, relax Naru-chan. We’ll go.” Naruto blushed and ‘hmph’ed at the nickname that TenTen always calls him.

Neji snickered while Hinata tried to hold in her laughter. Naruto just stomped away.

“Hinata, did Hiashi wake up?” Neji asked while they followed the fuming blonde.

“No Neji-niisan. He did seem a little suspicious when I went to sleep at eight though.” Hinata answered.

“Well, wouldn’t any parent. Mine thought me and Neji were trying to do stuff. I think they actually spied on us for an hour. Though they would have only heard us sleeping.” TenTen put in.

When they finally reached Sakura’s it was five-fifteen. Naruto was already inside yelling at Sasuke. He was wearing close to what Naruto was except a different color. So was Neji. Sakura was wearing close to Hinata and TenTen. Ino, Choji, Gaara, Matsuri, Kiba, Ricki, Temari, Shikamaru, Sai, Yuki, Lee, Reed, Shino, April, Kankuro, and Riley were all there. Wearing close to what everyone else was wearing except different designs. Despite their looks, some of their personalities were their own. (A/N: Damn that is a lot of people!)

“Okay,” Sakura shouted. “We get it Naruto! We need to hurry and it wasn’t your fault you were late. Damn! Hinata how do you handle him?” Sakura turned to her. She just blushed and looked down.

“Well now that we got that settled can we please head to the school? Troublesome.” Shikamaru put in.

“Fine, fine. Come on.” Sasuke said.

They were all just lucky Sakura’s parents were out of the country.

They headed outside and started towards school. Most people would find a bunch of teenagers walking down the road at five-fifteen a little strange. Good thing most sane people did not go to work at this time. Or were asleep. So they were safe from prying eyes and calls to the police.

It’s happened before.

When they got to school they got into position to here the plan once again.

Though Shikamaru was reluctant to say it he got ‘persuaded’. And I mean a few hits by his girlfriend Temari. After muttering a fw curses and some words that sounded like ‘damn troublesome women’ he started in his natural lazy voice.

“Okay, here’s the plan,” they all sweat dropped. They already knew that. “Hinata, Shino, Kiba will go to the auditorium. Ino, Choji, and I will go to the cafeteria. Gaara, Temari, Kankuro will go to the classrooms and ‘decorate’ them. Neji, TenTen, and Lee will go to the staff room. Riley, April, Reed go to all the lockers that are being used. Riki and Matsuri will go to the locker rooms. Sai and Yuki got to the kitchen. And use that imagination of yours. Naruto, Sauske, Sakura,” They all turned to the trio. “You need to go to the roof and take the spray paint. Take the lift. You are the main attraction, don’t be troublesome and mess up.” That earned him a pout from Naruto, a glare from Sasuke, and a crack of some knuckles from Sakura.

“Oh and don’t forget to go to the power box.” Shikamaru put in.

They nodded which led to confused glances. But before they could ask Shikamaru interrupted.

“Okay let’ split up.” And with that, everyone left and except the trio. Sakura was a little worried. Sasuke was to but of course being an Uchiha he wouldn’t show it. This was the first time they were alone with him since the ‘break-up’ plan. They looked over to Naruto to see that he was in his own little world but then he spoke up.

“Thanks guys.” He spoke in a whisper. They looked really confused.

“Huh?” They both said.

“You helped me and Hinata get together. So I’m saying thank you.”

“It was nothing Naruto. We just wanted to see you happy. Even if it meant hurting you on the way. Sorry about that, but you’re too stubborn to actually see what was in front of you.” She had a hopeful look on her face.

“Hn.” Do I even have to say it?

Sakura hit Sasuke without looking at him and kept her face the same.

“Thanks Sakura. But we should get going. Like Shikamaru said, we are the main attraction. Nothing new there. Oh and Sasuke,” he looked over Sasuke who was cradling his head. “LEARN A BIGGER VOCABULARY!!!” he yelled.

“Shut it dope.” He said.

“Teme!”

“Brainless.”

“Bastard!”

Sakura got fed up with it so she hit them both. They cradled their now hurting heads and looked up with pain-filled eyes.

“Thank you. Now let’s get going.” With that she headed up the steps to the school and up to the steps that lead to the roof. Sasuke and Naruto were right on her trail carrying the spray paint.

(With everyone else.)

Hinata, Shino, and Kiba headed to the auditorium with the whipped cream, chocolate sauce, water, and balloons.

Ino, Chouji, and Shikamaru went to the cafeteria and with the silly string.

Gaara, Temari, and Kankuro went to all the classrooms with the buckets, water, glue, tacks, chocolate pudding, and itching powder.

Neji, TenTen, and Lee headed to staff room and brought the i-Pod and i-Pod home that was scheduled to go off at a certain time. It was hidden. They brought the pudding mixed with glue, a net, and a lot of feathers. After that, they headed to the principles office with the same stuff.

Reed, April, and Riley went to all the lockers that were being used, bringing along whipped cream, pudding, spaghetti, apple sauce, and mashed potatoes.

Matsuri and Riki headed down to the boys and girls locker room while carrying the spray paint that stays on for days, water, and food coloring that stains.

Sai and Yuki headed to the kitchen and grabbed the bugs, food coloring, worms, itching powder, glue, and a mystery ingredient.

(With Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura)

They Headed up the three stories and made it up to the roof. They got onto the lift and started to lower the lift. When the got to the middle of the building. They started talking. Well, mostly Sakura and Naruto. Sasuke would either stay silent ot he would ‘hn’ or ‘aa’.

They took the longest of everyone. So when they were all finished the watched and made conversations. Shikamaru was leaning on Temari, asleep. She didn’t really seem to mind much. They were going out. Actually everyone was.

Sai and Yuki were back to back. Sai was drawing and Yuki was writing. Perfect couple.

Ino and Chouji were talking. They went out together when they got into a big fight. Chouji kept saying Ino cared too much about her looks and she kept saying that with all the grease he consumes he’ll end up in the hospital. He ended up losing a lot of weight. He was still chubby, but it was cute. She toned down on the make-up and hours she spent in the bathroom. He commented she looked beautiful like that and they started going out.

Neji and Tenten were making out. They just got into a fight one day and ended up kissing. All their friends just blinked twice and started talking about something else.

Sasuke and Sakura have been going out the longest. Since like sixth grade. And they were sophomores. Four years. Not counting the little ‘break-up’ when they got Naruto and Hinata together. They were just helping out their friends. Completely different than an actual break-up. No one knew how they started going out. Sakura wouldn’t even tell Ino how. They just said it was nothing. Odd…(A/N: I’m gonna keep you guessing for a little bit…heh heh…)

Gaara and Matsuri were just long time friends and started going out last year. She was a year younger though.

Everyone knows how Hinata and Naruto went out. Sasuke and Sakura helped them out. (A/N: Read ‘I Don’t Want To Be in Love.’)

Kiba and Riki meet last year at school. They just clicked.

Lee and Reed meet at their fighting classes and she beat his butt. That was all he needed to go and ask her out.

Kankuro and Riley meet through Matsuri. Her and Matsuri are cousins.

Shino and April meet in the weirdest place. The gardening club. But the weird place was when they were looking for bugs. Weird…

Well when it was seven o’clock, Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura finally made it down to the front of the school. They all looked up to the front of the building. There, right in the center of the building was a message.

WELCOME BACK STUDENTS OF KONOHA HIGH!

All around the message was a spiral design. It was colored as a rainbow. They all smiled, the consideration being Sasuke, Neji, and Gaara who just smirked and Shikamaru who looked bored.

By the time they double-checked everything it was seven-thirty. Which means school started in thirty minutes. They went down the street and washed their hands and got coffee and donuts. The worker glared at them and looked ready to yell but didn’t kick them out at least.

They were all talking about the pranks.

Naruto pulled Hinata aside and started talking about going out Saturday.

“Hey Hinata,” she looked up to his face and stopped laughing at something funny he said. “I’ve been meaning to tell you something.” He hesitated and didn’t say anything.

“What is it Naruto-kun?”

“Hinata I-”

“Hey dobe, we have to go. People should be in the courtyard by now.” Sasuke interrupted him and he slapped his forehead with his hand. He mumbled a ‘never mind’ and stalked off looking very pissed.

Hinata just looked confused, shook her head, and caught up to him and grabbed his hand. He looked down and she smiled warmly. He smiled back but it looked like he was thinking of something so it didn’t look right. She just shrugged it off.

They made it to school to see all the school population minus the teachers there. It was seven-fifty-five, so that meant the teachers would be there in five minutes.

Everyone looked their way when they heard the chains. They started to whisper and point and they just went to their regular spot. Under the shade of an old willow tree. It has been their spot since they could remember. It started with Sasuke and Naruto and then Sakura. Those three were the core of this group. They held it together. And that means in times like these. Were they are blamed again. Even though the kinda were to blame in this one. But either way, they always got away.

But there was always one problem.

“Sasuke-kun! Naruto-kun! Neji-kun! Blah, blah, blah!” all their names were called.

Fan-girls/boys. The true nightmare.

They just ignored them. Luckily, the glares and looks kept them away. That’s when the teachers came.

First it was the principle followed by every other staff member. They looked at the building then their eyes landed on the group. You could just see the accusation in their eyes.

They just sat their and started talking about a concert. The principle went up the steps and opened the doors.

Nothing.

It’s like they were waiting for something. Which no one was surprised by. They did something last year, but no one ever proved it. It happened in every school, and the minute they moved up a grade, it stopped.

Suspicion was needed. It wasn’t because of the looks.

The students filled in like nothing was happening but you could see the edge on everyone. They were keeping their guard up. To bad nothing that happened last year is going to happen this year. They all smirked when the last student went in.

They got up from the ground and headed inside.

First stop: Auditorium.

The Gang sat in a far off corner. Luckily no one sat with them. They all sat in the center area. There were three rows of chairs. Left, right, and center. They sat on the left, while the other students occupied the center and right. Some where on the bottom left. They were the lucky ones.

Tsunade, the principle, started talking. Giving a speech about school conduct, behavior, blah, blah, blah. The best was yet to come. The only reason the gang didn’t fall asleep. Even Shikamaru(A/N: APOCALYPSE!). Though he did sleep a little bit in the beginning(A/N: -mutters- never mind…).

“And so I conclude with…” she was cut off by a snapping sound. Because right before that, Kiba cut a unnoticeable string and every water balloon they had in the net fell on every student on the right side and center of the room. Also on the stage with every staff member and the principle. And when Sasuke pushed a button, chocolate sauce and whipped cream splattered Tsunade, the staff, and all the students in the first ten rows.

This was just the beginning.

After Tsunade yelled and cursed a bit, school actually started. The gang had classes together. Lucky all their classes were like college classes. You are probably wondering how the sophomores get classes with the juniors. Well, all the sophomore-in the group of course- took advanced classes. Which put them in junior classes. So it wall worked out.

The only class they didn’t all have together was their electives. Which were in the same period. Ironic.

The first class was homeroom.

Nothing. The students were spared.

Then all the students went to whatever class they had next. For the group it was biology with Kakashi. For once he was not late(A/N: APOCALYPSE!). Mostly because Tsunade pushed him in though(A/N: damn! Foiled again!).

But it made everything easier.

The group walked to the back. When the class was ordered to sit, they didn’t even know what was coming.

When the whole class sat there were screams. Some chairs had tacks, chocolate sauce, and water.

The students who didn’t scream got up, but it was too late. When they tried to get up the bottom of whatever was on the lower part of their bodies ripped. Some were lucky as others weren’t. Some had little openings while some had no bottom pants at all. What a shame.

The other part of the class just stared. They visually relaxed. Bad time to relax. In a matter of seconds they all started to itch. They couldn’t stop. Do i even have to say it. ITCHING POWDER!

When the teacher sat down he jumped right back up. There were tacks in his seat. Bad move standing up though. when he did, he landed on a string which caused two buckets to fall. Water and chocolate sauce. All over Kakashi.

He looked up to the only calm ones in the class.

Narutos’ group.

“Hmm…” Kakashi started. “Well look at that. you guys are the only one not pranked.do you have an explanation?”

Sasuke spoke up. What he said made the group laugh and smirk.

“Yea, actually we do. We tend look before we sit.” As I said, they all laughed and smirked.

So the prank was pulled, right?

Wrong.

When the kids got to their lockers they either got splattered with mashed potatoes, spaghetti, apple sauce, pudding, or whipped cream.

In P.E they got sprayed with the spray paint that doesn’t come off for days. And when they were done with P.E, all their clothes were died in different colors. People walked around in pink shirts and yellow pants. All different colors.

When the teachers went into the staff room, a net was released and glue and feathers fell on them. They looked like chickens. The same thing happened for the Principle.

The best part was when the i-Pods would go off at random times and rack music would sound through the whole school. it came from the staff room and the principles office.

Then lunch came.

The students either sat down right away or went to get their lunch. The group just leaned against the wall by their table. When Naruto said he was hungry Sai grabbed his arm. He gave him a look that said don’t do that.

“Just out of curiosity,” Shikamaru said. “What did you put in the food?”

Sai and Yuki smiled sadistically. It made everyone want to shiver. Some of them did.

All that was heard next were squeals, screams and the sound of spiting out food.

“Well there was the itching powder, worms, bugs, glue, food coloring, thus explaing the weird colors and…” Yuki trailed off. She started at the people with their mouths open. Everyone’s jaw dropped. Peoples mouth were different colors. As in blue, green, pink, yellow, and some were even neon.

“The hell?!” Naruto shouted. He looked over to Sai and Yuki and they just looked smug.

“You guys don’t want to know.” this time everyone shuddered.

That wasn’t it though. Some student tripped over a wire and silly string and confetti went off. It covered everyone, even the gang. What was that going to hurt though?

Well it was finally the end of the day. Everyone was so thankful for this. But we didn’t want to have them leave without a farewell gift, now did we?

So in the middle of the last period the power went out and the fire alarm went off. The gang grabbed their stuff and followed the other students who had nothing with them.

The whole school was in the courtyard when it happened. The message on the front building had attachments to it. In a circle around it, streamers and confetti exploded and some fireworks went off around it. The whole school was in awe. It looked amazing. Even he staff was amazed by it. By the time everything was done, school had been done. The gang got to leave because they had all their stuff.

“I think we outdid ourselves on this one, ne?” Naruto asked as they all walked to his house. He lived alone in a mansion, but you’ll find that out later.

“Dobe,” Naruto was about to yell but Sasuke kept talking. “I have to agree with you.” He smirked and they hit knuckles. The whole group looked pleased. It was another Naruto/Sasuke brother moment. They haven’t seen that since Sasukes and Sakuras plan to get them together.

Sasuke grabbed Naruto by the neck and prceeded to give him a noogie while telling him something else.

“That was a good idea to put the attachments on the sign. You outdid yourself Naruto.” He said with a smirk. Naruto got out of his hold and they started to play fight. They were already at Narutos’ house. The rest went in and they stayed outside.

They fought for a while and then decided to rest in the grass.

“This years going to be good. I can feel it.” Naruto said out of nowhere.

“You may be right there Naruto. You may be right.” Sasuke said.

“I know I’m right.”

There was silence again.

“Hey Sasuke?”

Sakura called them in after a while saying they were going to watch a movie.

“This year is going to be perfect. What could go wrong?” Naruto asked Sasuke who just ‘hn’d in response.

Well, before you say how boring this is. I just put this chapter up to show how fun and smooth their lives are. Next chapter comes problems. You could say this is a filler chapter. I’m just showing how their lives go from good to bad to good to worse. Hence the title ‘Love and Life Are a Fickle Thing’. Please review and I will try to update soon.

Preview:

Sasukes, Sakuras, and Gaaras head snapped in the direction of Naruto. They looked at him with fear and anticipation. They knew what this could do.

His eyes were wide. The eyes that were once filled with happiness and mischief were now filled with fear, and happiness. It’s like his mind wouldn’t pick an emotion.

“Naruto-kun…?”



“Naruto, can we talk?”

“I’m not going back, you can’t make me!” Naruto screamed into his face.

“I’m not here to take you and I’m not here to talk about that,” Naruto looked confused so he continued. “They found the guy Naruto, and they found the will.”

Narutos’ eyes went wide with fear and anger.

The Konoha Summer Best Festival

Author: zimshuver4ever
Rating: K+ kayaknya...

Summary: Festival baru di Konoha? Festival biasaa... Naruto pun menganggapnya begitu, tapi sebenarnya... Baca, yach... Nggak baca? Nggak Kaci!!!

Disclaimer: -macacyih! Gw harus ngleku’in ini cemua?!- Aku Tidak Berhak Memiliki Atau Mempunyai NARUTO (emang bukan punya gw kok), NARUTO Hanya Dimiliki Oleh Sang Ahli Masashi Kishimoto.

Kalo mau, ‘ntar gue bikin sendiri ajah! -bokis, jangan percaya-

A/N: Fanfic Naruto ‘nyang THE FIRST!! Please baca, cerita ini harap di baca, kalo gak dibaca...

SELESAI INTERNET-AN, LOE BAKAL KESAMBER PETIR!!

JEDUAAAR!!!

Berita utama:

-berduka- Author saat ini mengalami sekarat, dan telah dirawat di UGD Rumkit, sebelumnya diketahui sebuah petir menyambarnya dikarenakan ia berkata-kata yang berlebihan. Bagi anda, ini merupakan peringatan dan contoh yang sangat berarti... --,

New Festival Attending

Oke, ini gue sang author. Gue lagi nyusup-nyusup bwat ngintip kegiatan anak-anak di Konoha, nih (Abiss bosen, biasanya ngintip ‘nyang mandi mulu, heueheueheuehe..).

Eh? ‘ntu kan Naruto, Sasuke, dan Sakura?

“YOOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!” teriak Naruto kencang, yang mulut n’ soaranya dah kayak TOA.

“Berisik, Naruto. Loe kayaknya pengen banget kita semua kena congek...” kata Sasuke dengan tenang (tapi tangannya panik cari pesumbat telinga).

“Gue ‘ntu lagi energik, kita bakal pergi ke Pantai Ceria Kohare nih,” balas Naruto dengan suara agak memelan.

“Asik, ya! Katanya Tsunade-sama bakal ngundang kita semua ke pantai bwat...” jeda Sakura mikir dulu. “Sebuah pertandingan, ya?” tanyanya tak yakin. Huh?! Telinga gue kagak salah ape, ya? Mereka mau pada ke pantai, atas undangan Tsunade. Tsunade ngada’in acara tuch kayaknya, milu ah!! (Indo: ikut ah!!)

Mereka (termasuk gue) pun melanjutkan perjalanan ke Pantai Ceria Kohare, yang bisa kita singkat PCK. Di sana udah ada Gaara, Kiba, Kankuro, Temari, Akatsuki Gank, Kakashi, Iruka, Shikamaru, Uhhh... , Lee, haaah... , Ino, haaah... (kecapean nyebutinnya), LOE LIAT AJA ‘NDIRI NANTI!!

“Yo Naruto!” sapa Kiba.

“Hey! Siluman Anj-... Uhhh, Maksud gue Kiba.. ehe he he...” Naruto diplototin ama Kiba an-evilly-glare. Naruto langsung cengengesan versi kepaksa.

“Sassuukeeeeee!” teriak Itachi berlari menghampirinya, dan memberikannya big hug.

“Bakkaaaa-aniiikiiii!!!!!!! Ngapain loe di sini?!! HAH?!” Sasuke yang terkejut berusaha melepaskan pelukan gila (iya.. pelukan yang diiringi ciuman-ciuman pipi ala Itachi spesial bwat Sasuke) kakaknya, yah, namanya juga usaha...

“AH! Itu kan Deidara-san lewaat!” Seru Sasuke mengalihkan perhatiannya.

“HAH?! MHOANA?! MHOANA?!” Spontan dia melepaskan pelukannya dan celingukan kayak orgil. Sasuke tak tanggung-tanggung langsung kabur menghampiri Naruto dkk di kedai teh yang berjarak 500 meter dari tempat dia berada tadi (terang gue tahu 500 meter, orang gue ngitung pake meteran –contoh orang kurang kerjaan-).

Udah gak peduliian baka aniki-nya, dia mulai menghampiri teman-temannya dengan terengah-engah. “K’napa loe, Sasuke?” tanya Naruto.

“Dikejar Orang Utan...” jawab Sasuke simpel.

Emangnya ada? Orang utan ditempat gene? Pikir Naruto dan yang lain. Gue gitu loch, bisa baca pikiran orang lain.

Silence, for awhile...

“Betewe, ney. Tsunade-sama mo ngapain, ya, kok manggil kita segala?” tanya Kankuro.

“Tauk, katanya mo ngasih kita beberapa permainan, umm, pertandingan?” tanya Ino balik. Iyey, orang ditanya malah balik nanya, bego.

“Mendokuse na, gue mo tidur aja nechh,” pasti loe tau sapa yang ngomong. Hah? Gak tahu? Wah, lain kali jangan lupa check ke RSJ seminggu sekali, yah. Jangan khawatir, saya juga rutin kok check up-nya. (???)

-Obrolan SantaiSejenak-

“Hehehe... Gaara, disini banyak pasir loch, kalo topengnya retak, tinggal pilih tuh mo pasir berapa kilo n’ gak usah bayar...” Canda Naruto.

Gaara yang pemarah bin pendiam, gak ngerespon apa-apa, cuma ngomong, “Sabaku Sou-Sou!”

“ARGHHHHHH!!!!!!!” Kejadian tak terduga dan tak biasa, Naruto hancur dan melebur.

-Sisi lain, -

“Cuacanya indah, ya, Akamaru, Hinata?” Kiba, nanya gituan... gak penting dech!

“AUUUUKKK!!” –Akamaru-

“Umm, i-iya...” –Hinata-

-Para guru,-

“Kira-kira, Godaime mau apa, ya?” tanya Iruka-sensei agak pelan pada Kakashi-sensei. Kakashi yang sedang membaca Icha-Icha paradise tak menggubris pertanyaannya.

“...”

“Permainan... permainannya kayak apa, ya?” lanjutnya.

“...”

“Oi, Kakashi?”

“...”

“Kakashi?”

“...” Diam seribu rupiah bahasa. Lha?.

-twitched- “KAKASHI LOE DENGER GAK SEH?!!!!”

“Huh?” Kakashi bereaksi; mencabut headset kecil yang ada di telinganya. Oh, rupanya Kakashi lagi ngedengerin lagu, pantesan budeg... “Apa?” tanyanya lagi.

“GRRRRRHHHHHHAAAAARRRGGGGHHHHHH...”

-Sisi lain lagi, -

“Gimana nich, Godaime-sama ‘blom dateng. Kita musti nunggu berapa jam???” Keluh Sakura pada Sasuke.

“Mene ketehe, loe ko’ ngerengeknya ke gue?” sahut Sasuke.

“Ihcchh... Sasuke-kun kok gitu ama aku!”

“Mau bagaimana lagi, dahi menonong. Dia ‘kan gak suka ama kamu, iyaaaaa kaaaan, Sasuke-kuun?” tiba-tiba dari belakang, Ino muncul –kayak jurig telat dandan- dan langsung memeluk Sasuke.

“APA KATAMU????!! BABI!!! HEY! LEPASKAN SASUKE-KUN, KALAU TIDAKK...!!!”

“APA LOE BILANG?!! ENAK AJA!! DASAR DAHI MENONONG!!!”

Sasuke yang menyadari akan terjadinya perkelahian yang tak terelakkan, akhirnya menjauh dari kedua orang semprul itu dan pergi kayak maling mo nyuri beha. Ketika sudah menjauh sekitar 800 meter (yep, gue ukur), ia melihat sebuah kerumunan orang-orang yang kayaknya lagi serius (tampang asik) ngelihat sesuatu yang aneh atau jarang terjadi di pantai.

Sasuke yang kebingungan, ikut-ikutan ngegerombol. Ketika sudah melihat ‘hal’ tersebut ia pergi dengan santai menggeleng-gelengkan kepalanya sambil bergumam “Ckckckckck...”, dan sweatdrop terlihat di pipinya. Eh? Kok reaksi Sasuke kok gitu? ikutan lihat ah!

TERNYATA, orang berambut pirang dengan tanda seperti kumis kucing di kedua pipinya sedang terkapar penuh darah dikelilingi pasir disekitarnya. Ckckckckck... kacian...

-Obrolan Santai Sejenak selesai-

“Perhatian-perhatian, untuk seluruh penduduk, harap berkumpul di depan panggung dekat bibir Pantai Ceria Kohare, ini perintah Godaime-sama. Sekali lagi,...” Shizune, sang asisten Tsunade mengumumkan lewat TOA.

Otomatis semua penduduk termasuk para jagoan Ninja eskrim, eh, ekstrim kita langsung menghampiri panggung seperti yang sudah diperintahkan.

Ketika semua sudah berkumpul, “MUHAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAAAAHAHA!!!!!!!!” Tawa Tsunade yang menggelegar membuat event dampak badai topan sesaat pada penonton.

“Bussyeet, Ketawa aja udah segono, gimana kalo marah!!?” Seru Kiba sambil menutupi telinganya.

“Yee... segitu tuh bukan kemasuk ketawa! ‘nyang begono noh masih masuk keterangan mesem doank!” sahut Sakura. Ya, kalo kalian tahu line-storynya NARUTO, kan Sakura jadi murid Tsunade, jadi... ia mengalami penderitaan yang cukup menyedihkan.

“Loe apa nggak budeg? Tiap hari deket Tsunade-baachan?” Tanya Naruto.

“Ya, nggak... bawa aja pesumbat telinga tiap hari, ya kan Sakura?” Jawab Shikamaru.

“Lebih bagus bawa plester tiap hari...” sahut Temari.

“Kok?” tanya Shikamaru, Naruto dan Sakura.

“Plester mulutnya pake lakban,” lanjutnya dengan tenang dan damai tanah airku. (A/N: Eeh, bener loch! Kalo mo ampuh, ini tips dari saya. Dijamin, kalian akan dibunuh seketika oleh Tsunade dan tanpa merasakan efek samping apapun, ASLI 100)

“Ya!! Anak-anakan! Sengaja seperti yang sudah ibu umumkan alasan mengapa kalian harus kemari (selain karena telah gue ULTIMATUM), ialah untuk melaksanakan pertandingan resmi, yaitu untuk memilih...”

Memilih?, Batin Naruto.

“M-memilih...?! Apa maksudnya?” Gumam para penonton.

“Ya! Untuk memilih seseorang yang bersedia menjadi...”

- Sangking tigariusnya, suasananya hening kayak di kuburan yang banyak begajul setannya -

“Menjadi...?” tanya Naruto.

“Menjadi... apa?” tanya Sasuke dengan suara memelan.

“Yaitu menjadi...” lanjut Tsunade dengan tampang serius tapi menyeramkan.

“Yaitu menjadi...?” tanya Sakura dan Ino saling berpandangan.

“ ... ” Gaara diem aja?!

“Yaitu menjadi...” jeda Tsunade. “SUAMIKU SELAMA SEBULAN!!!” gelegar Tsunade.

GUBRAAAAAK!!!!!!! (pingsan semua, gak semua sih ada juga yang pake versi mulut berbusa, heuheheheu..)

“MUHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAHAHAAAHAHA!!!!” tawa Tsunade yang mengakibatkan badai terhebat di Kohare tahun 2007. “Becanda donk! Kalian ini, gituan dianggap serius! Gini, ibu ngumpulin kalian di sini yaitu mau mengadakan acara yang diadakan 2 tahun sekali. Ini akan aku jadikan tradisi untuk beberapa tahun mendatang setiap datang musim panas, bagaimana?”

“Hah...?” Ninja jagoan eskrim, pada melongo.

“Nah, untuk menyambut musim panas acaranya akan dimulai besok. Jadi hari ini baru hanya akan saya umumkan. Esok, acaranya akan ada festival, perlombaan, Music show, dan pertandingan khusus untuk para ninja Konohagakure. Tempat acaranya akan diadakan di sini... Bagi kalian yang berminat silahkan datang besok pukul delapan pagi.” Jelas Tsunade. Eh?! Tsunade-sama, gue boleh ikut kagak?

“Begitulah pengumuman dari saya. Umm... acara ini akan saya namakan “The Konoha Summer Best Festival”. Oh ya, Nara Shikamaru, Kakashi Hatake, dan Iruka sesudah ini harap berkumpul di ruangan saya. Yang lainnya silahkan pulang.” Lanjut Tsunade menyelesaikan pengumumannya.

Semuanya pun bubar dengan tertib. Tsunade kembali ke ruangannya diikuti dengan Shizune dan beberapa chunin dan Jonin yang tadi dipanggil.

Sementara itu, diperjalanan para Ninja jagoan eskrim kita:

“Kita disuruh ngumpul n’ nunggu cuman bwat pengumuman BEGITUAN DOANG?!” keluh Naruto dengan wajah penuh penyesalan.

“Itu pengumuman penting tauk!” kata Sakura. Inner Sakura, “SHAANNAROOOO!! BENER TUCH!! KENAPA KITA DIPANGGIL BWAT PENGUMUMAN YANG BEGITUAN??!!!”

“Ehe...heh...heh... Kalo gitu aku pulang duluan ya...” kata Naruto sambil sweatdrop. Tau? Kenapa dia pulang? Jawabannya karena tangan Sakura udah siap melayang menghampiri kepala Naruto.

Naruto pun segera pulang mendahului gerombolan Ninja eskrim sambil melambaikan tangannya, dan langsung masuk ke rumahnya yang jaraknya hanya beberapa blok. Ah, gue ikutin Naruto ajach nyampe rumah, nah selanjutnya ngintip dari jendela. Sampai di rumah:

“Bokaaaaaap!!! Tadaima (aku pulang)!” seru Naruto yang membuat satu kaca kecil jendela kamar mandi pecah.

“Oh! Naru-chan! Gimana? Tadi ada pengumuman apa dari Tsunade?” tanya Yondaime yang sedang membaca koran sambil merokok (A/N: Hah?! Sejak kapan Yondaime ngerokok?! Jawabannya ada di akhir chapter ini...).

“Kok? Babe tau itu pengumuman? ‘kan kemaren Naru-chan bilangnya pertandingan?”

“Huh? Ah... he...he...he... rahasia dunk!” jawab Yondaime sweatdrop. Gue lupa, kemaren ‘kan Naru-chan bilangnya pertandingan. Duh, kelihatannya daya ingatku sudah mulai berkurang, seingat gue dia bilang pengmumanpikir Yondaime.

“Tadi ‘ntu Tsunade ngumumin bahwa mulai besok akan diadakan festival tradisi baru. Nyaitu, ‘Konoha Summer Best Festival’ (kalo gak salah), nah festivalnya hanya akan diadakan dua tahun sekali selama sehari.” Jelas Naruto.

“Waah, Naru-chan mau ikut?”

“Iya dong!! Lagian...” jeda Naruto. Pipinya memerah kemudian suaranya memelan, “Hinata-chan juga ngajak bareng aku”

“GYAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Ooh... Bilang aja sekalian kencan getow!” tawa Yondaime.

“Ihhh... Babe ah! Jangan keras-keras ngomongnya!” panik Naruto yang pipinya mulai memerah dua kali lipat dari yang tadi.

“Uuh, anak babe udah gede! GUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!” Yondaime mulai meledek menepuk-nepuk kepala Naruto.

“UH! BABE UDAH AH! Naru-chan mau tidur aja! Udah malem!” Huh? Kok udah malem? Oh iye udah malem -padahal perasaan tadi masih sore- nich! Gue juga pulang ah!.

Narator: “Sang Author pun pulang dengan damai. Sementara itu... Sementara itu... Sementara itu...

Ratih-sama (author): ” Yah! Kayak kaset rusak! Gue terusin dech, SEMENTARA ITU CERITANYA BERSAMBUNG DULU SAMPE DISINI!!! SANG AUTHOR UDAH CAPEK KOMBINASI NGANTUK PLUS MATA AJEP-AJEP BIN PINGGANG ENCOK!”

To be continued...???

A/N: DUH!!! Sorry banget!! Gue udah ngantuk, ini di warnet, mana blom bayar ongkos pake lagi, UWAAAAH!!! APA????!!!!! ONGKOSNYA SERATUS LIMA PULUH RIBU???!!! HAH?! Oh, iya... Gue kan pake selama dua hari tiga malam, pantesan ongkosnya segitu...

Wuntuk sewua!! Pwease REVIEW!!! Cewitanya mawih bewlanwut, wadi wangan wupa wunggu whapter welanwutnya, yaaaahh...

Nggak ngerti? Sama donk... Eh, udah waktunya nih gue check up ke RSJPDPTPMN (Rumah Sakit Jiwa Prasmanan Dengan Pelayanan Terpadu Pualiing Mak Nyusss)

DADAGHHHH!!!

More Note From Author (MNFA): Oh ya, bwat AzureArianna and EnMa-chan, kalo baca panpics ku ditunggu reviewnya, soalnyaaaa... AKU PENGGEMAR BERAT CERITA-CERITA BIADABMU!! Ehe...he...he... Please dong... beneran aku penggemar berat ente berdua!!!!

TIME

Author: CraZy-AneH-GiRL
Language: Indonesia

Fic indo pertama saya,, karena ada kesalahan kecil, gw replace, tp sebagian besar ga saya ganti. Fic ini berdasarkan puisi karangan seorang author Secret Name. sebenernya puisinya bhs inggris, tapi puisinya di translate jadi indo. read and review

Time

“Naruto-kun...”

Seorang gadis dengan mata lavendernya yang berlinangan air mata. Di pangkuannya terbaring sesosok tubuh tak bergerak. Sosok yang tetap tersenyum walau sudah tak bernyawa...

Waktu... seandainya ku bisa menghentikanmu...

mengembalikan waktu hingga ku masih kecil...

ku akan menghapus semua rasa sakit di dada ini...

dan hanya mengulang keindahan... seperti cinta...

“Naruto-kun... Kau tidak sendirian...”

“Kau tidak tahu! Kau tidak merasakannya!” Naruto menepis tangan yang ada di bahunya.

Hinata; yang juga merasakan bagaimana sendirian ketika ayahnya lebih memilih Hanabi daripada dia; merasa kecewa ketika Naruto menganggap ia tidak merasakan yang namanya sendirian. Tapi Hinata tidak menyerah, ia mencobanya lagi.

“Naruto-kun—“

“PERGI! Tinggalkan aku! Pergilah seperti yang lainnya!” walau tidak melihatnya, Hinata tahu, saat itu Naruto mengeluarkan air mata.

Hinata yang merasa iba terhadapnya, secara setengah sadar, ia memeluk punggung anak laki-laki yang ia sayangi itu.

“Hi-Hinata-chan...”

Hinata mulai merasakan aliran air mata yang mengalir pelan di pipinya, “Naruto-kun... Aku... Aku hanya ingin kau tau... Kau tidak sendirian... Kau juga... Tidak hanya kau yang pernah merasakan kesendirian...”

Naruto merasakan aliran air mata yang mengalir di pipinya semakin deras. Ia membalikkan badan dan membalas pelukan Hinata. Sebuah pelukan hangat yang tidak akan pernah dilupakannya.

Waktu... mengapa kau berlalu begitu cepat sebelum kudapat keindahan cinta...

mengapa kau pergi sangat cepat

sebelum kukatakan kata ‘cinta’ padanya...

Setahun sudah Naruto pergi bersama Jiraiya. Ia pergi, sebelum Hinata memiliki cukup keberanian untuk menyatakan perasaannya pada Naruto. Sebelum Hinata merasakan kebahagiaan bersama orang yang disayanginya.

waktu,

tanpa mu aku bukanlah apa-apa

kau begitu penting bagiku...

tapi juga sangat kejam padaku...

Dua setengah tahun berlalu, Naruto pun kembali. Pertemuan Hinata dengan Naruto bukanlah suatu kebetulan. Hinata merasakannya, ketika Naruto pertama kali menginjakkan kakinya di desa kesayangannya.

Tapi pertemuan itu, tidaklah berakhir baik.

Hinata masih belum memiliki cukup keberanian untuk menyapanya. Sampai kemudian Naruto lah yang mendatanginya. Tapi pertemuan itu, tidaklah berakhir baik. Rasa takut membawanya ke dalam kegelapan. Ia, masih tidak memiliki keberanian yang dimiliki semua anak perempuan seharusnya.

Ia adalah seorang keturunan souke, ia tidak memiliki tanda di keningnya. Tapi, ia merasa seperti berada di dalam sebuah sangkar. Sangkar yang menghalanginya memiliki keberanian.

Bel telah berbunyi

waktunya telah datang..

aku tetap tak bisa mencari kata-kata

kata-kata perpisahan terakhir

kepadanya

Hinata berharap kebahagiaan akan datang ketika tiba-tiba tim-nya terpilih untuk pergi menyelesaikan sebuah misi bersama tim Naruto. Yamato menggantikan Kurenai yang sedang tidak bisa ikut karena ia sedang mengandung.

Kenyataan, tidak berpihak padanya. Ketika bersama dengan Naruto dan Yamato, Kabuto datang... Sebuah kedatangan yang tak terduga.

Sebuah serangan mendadak yang tidak diharapkan. Sebagai seorang Hyuuga, seharusnya ia dapat mengatasinya, tapi ia gagal. Byakugan-nya gagal, sebuah serangan yang tak dapat ia hindari mendatanginya. Ia tidak dapat berbuat apa-apa.

Salahnya... Segalanya adalah kesalahannya...

Neji menderita karenanya... Dan kini, orang yang disayanginya tergeletak tak bernyawa di pangkuannya.

Segalanya adalah kesalahannya...

Apa yang terjadi beberapa detik yang lalu, telah merubah semua kenyataan yang diharapkan Hinata dalam hidupnya. Sebuah kenyataan yang telah dirancangnya untuk mendapatkan kebahagiaan.

Bagaimanapun juga, segalanya sudah terlambat. Ia sudah pergi. Ia pergi dengan meninggalkan secercah kebahagiaan melalui kata terakhirnya. Kata terakhir yang tidak bisa Hinata balas selamanya...

“Hinata, aku menyayangimu...”

Fin
singkat aja...Naruto ga mati yah di komiknya, ini cm fic.. Fic ini saya tulis ulang, karena ada yang bingung sama jalan critanya..Saya sangat berterima kasih bagi siapa aja yang me-review,,yg membaca doang jg makasih,, yang ngasih saya saran komentar kritik silahkan..

CraZy-AneH-GiRL