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Friday, September 23, 2011

Scary Movies Suck!

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

0—Scary Movies Suck—0

0—Written by sKyLaR KnIgHt—0

Sasuke wasn't surprised when he saw that their meeting place was deserted with the exception of Hinata. Sure, he "invited" their whole class, but he had made sure to go around uninviting them whenever the Hyuuga wasn't around. It was his way of indirectly asking her out on a date, which she had agreed to when everyone else did. Why'd he go through all that trouble? Because, though he liked the kind female, he knew that she would never make the first move, and he couldn't directly ask her out because it went against everything he stood for: Uchihas don't ask the women; the women asked the Uchihas. Thus, this indirect date with just the two of them…

Lavender orbs flicked up from their spot on the ground when she had heard the faint shuffle of shoes on the pavement and a hint of relief flashed through her eyes. "Sasuke-san!" She climbed to her feet and slowly made her way over with a small smile, pulling the ends of her sleeves further down in habit. "I was beginning to think that I came at the wrong time."

His lips twitched as he tried to contain his smile. She was simply too cute for her own good at times. Not to mention how pretty she looked in casual clothes, wearing a purple with black striped sweater with bunny ears on her hood. She wore semi-baggy jeans and topped it all off with black and white Converse. "Hello, Hinata-san. Have you seen anyone around since you've been here?" He knew that the answer would be no, but he felt that this whole thing would be a little more believable if he just went along with what he was leading her to believe.

"Iie…I wonder where everyone is…" She murmured, glancing around them with a cute pout. "Maybe there's another party that we aren't aware of."

The crafty Uchiha glanced down at his watch pointedly and released an exaggerated sigh. "The movie is going to start in fifteen minutes and we still need to go and get some seats."

"Oh, no." Hinata bit her lower lip and glanced around them once more before slowly tilting her head back to stare up at him uncertainly. "Ano…Should we just reschedule?"

Sasuke genuinely frowned at the thought after going through so much work to get her alone, but kept himself from stomping his feet like a petulant child. Instead he managed to mask his features to that of disappointment. "I really wanted to see this movie and this is its last week that it's showing."

"A-Ah!" The Hyuuga straightened considerably. "Well we could…ano…if you'd like…" She fidgeted under his gaze of veiled amusement, a cherry complexion slowly engulfing her entire face. "M-Maybe we could go see it together...If it is that important to you…"

A small genuine smile made its way to his face, lighting up his dark features considerably. He ignored the collective gasp of all those surrounding them and focused entirely on the female before him. "Well then, we should get going." He stuffed his hands into his pockets and turned around, going back in the direction that he had originally came from, ensuring himself that she was by his side the entire time. I knew that this was my best idea yet. He smirked under the shield of his bangs, angling his head away from her as a precaution. And the movie that we're going to watch is full of killers and carnage, so she should be clinging to me the entire time.

He was in the middle of mentally congratulating himself when the sudden exclamation from his companion broke through. "Ah! Shikamaru-kun, we're over here!" His head snapped up in surprise when he saw the short teen beside him wave modestly to the slouching lean male who slowly made his way to their side after a few short strides, thanks to his height.

"Yo." The ponytailed male reached into his pocket and pulled out a pocket knife with an embroidered hawk design on the side. "Here Sasuke, my kaa-san said that it would be rude to come here without something so I found this." He extended to the male, holding it there for a few moments as the raven haired male stared him down with a look that described infallible loathing.

"Oh no! I didn't even think to bring a gift!" Hinata groaned, pulling the Uchiha's attention away from the unwanted addition to what was supposed to be his birthday date. "I'm such a horrible friend!" Her lovely lavender hues flicked up to meet his steady coal gaze, wholly apologetic. "I know! How about I bring you something special to eat on Monday?"

"Sounds good." He responded politely before once more turning his attention to the classroom shirker. "Glad someone else could make it." He bit out, though he really didn't mean it; in fact, he wanted to yell at the lazy teen to go back to whatever bed he crawled out of that morning and leave them be, but that would just completely ruin all of the progress that he might have or still will make with Hinata.

"Hai. I remembered hearing you inviting everyone to the newest scary movie, so I decided that maybe it was worth waking up earlier."

Earlier? Sasuke thought, glancing up at the sky where the sun was already well past the noon mark. "Well…" His gaze flicked from the Nara to the Hyuuga, nodding. He could make this work. The chances of Shikamaru falling asleep during the movie were exponentially high, so Hinata and he were as good as alone it may have not came out exactly as he had planned, but the outcome would be a given, Hinata would be his girlfriend by the end of the day.

He plastered on his trademark smirk and nodded towards them. "Well let's get going then, the movie's starting in a few minutes."


"Oh my goodness, that movie was the scariest that I've ever seen." Hinata uttered softly as they made their way towards the train station that evening, her hands going to her chest as her eyes slid this way and that, jumping at every noise that sounded nearby.

"It wasn't that bad." Shikamaru commented, his brows flying up when he felt a burning sensation at the back of his head. He glanced behind himself and his classmate, blinking tiredly when he noticed that it was only Sasuke. Weird. Where's all this killer intent coming from? He wondered before turning back around carelessly.

Sasuke, however, seemed to care. He was practically seething by the end of the movie, because not only had the Nara not gone through with what his very nature prodded him to do, but it was him that Hinata clung to! How could she turn to a guy like him, he thought giving the ponytailed teen a disgusted look over, over someone like me? Sure, the Nara wasn't the ugliest thing in the world, but he was Sasuke Freaking Uchiha! Women would eat their own hands just for the chance of getting it on with him, and he wasn't even looking for sex here! He actually wanted to have a relationship with her!

But he…Sasuke growled, sending the Nara more waves of killer intent. He got in the way! He followed the conversing teens into the train station, stopping short when a new thought occurred to him. I can still be the one to walk her home! "Ne, Hinata-san, I'll walk you home. It's pretty late, and I'm sure that you're still tense from the movie."

"Oh, arigato Sasuke-san, but it isn't necessary." The female smiled sweetly, standing in front of her platform, while Shikamaru lingered in the background.

"I insist. I wouldn't be much of a gentleman if I let you walk these streets at night, now would I?" He paused for effect before really laying it on thick, giving her the sexiest smile he could muster. "Come on, Hinata-san, I won't bite."

Her face exploded in red almost immediately, her hands shooting up to fidget just as the train that she needed to catch parked itself in front of her, the doors opening swiftly. "A-Ano…It really i-isn't necessary. S-Shikamaru-kun lives half a block a-away, so he said that h-he'd walk me home." She hastily walked onboard and gave him a short bow through the window, Shikamaru trudging in behind her.

Maybe the Nara wasn't exactly entirely awake, but he could've sworn that the last thing that the Uchiha did before their train pulled out of the station was start jumping up and down like a monkey with a positively infuriated expression. Huh…Maybe he didn't like the pocket knife…

The Rules of Engagement

Disclaimer:I don't own Naruto because if I did, there would be some consistency with the story and Zombie Itachi would start a revolution.

Warning: Language, Suggestive Situations

The Rules of Engagement

written by IceHaze

"Why the hell am I watching this?"

His fingers moved along the keyboard, furiously typing in his desired words. Naruto was usually a fairly vexing person who engaged in fairly vexing actions. At times, they bordered outright insanity but the present situation proved that perhaps his best friend needed much more medical attention than previously thought. Before suggesting he admit himself into a psychiatric rehabilitation center, Sasuke waited patiently for Naruto's reply. The box popped up with a light meowing sound; his friend had responded to his message.

Isn't it funny?

Sasuke grunted and replied back instantly.

Idiot. I don't know why you're watching videos like this, but stop sending them to me!

He growled lightly when his friend responded with a string of characters that indicated he found the whole idea hilarious. Sasuke, however, was not amused and his friend picked up on it despite his absence in the room.

I can hear you growl all the way from here. Come on. It's pretty funny. And if you must know, Kiba sent me this video so I'm not entirely a pervert.

He didn't agree at all. Watching two German Shepherds mating feverishly was not only disgusting in his eyes, but pointless as well. What kind of person posted footage of such a thing? They weren't even breeders or informants providing educational programming for animal enthusiasts and other potential breeders. They were just some immature brats recording footage as they passed along witnessing the spectacle. It was obvious from the snickering and laughter he caught in the background.

Did you watch it all the way? The ending's funny. Especially when they get tied and…

"Yes, Sasuke. Did you watch it all the way?"

Sasuke moved fast in an attempt to click on another video but was stopped by his brother's firm hand on the mouse.

"Ah. There's nothing like two dogs going at it on a sunny afternoon in the middle of a crowded park."

He blushed. "Naruto sent me that video." He typed in a quick message to his friend that his brother arrived and logged off the messaging program.

"Of course he did."

"I wouldn't purposely watch such a stupid thing."

"Sasuke, you're eighteen. It's only natural you would get curious…or develop such strange fetishes."

"Fuck you."

Itachi chuckled deeply as he sat on his bed, casually glancing over at the computer screen. "But Naruto is right. The ending is rather amusing, especially when the owner comes to reclaim his female. He throws quite a tantrum over the event. "

Sasuke raised an eyebrow. "You've…seen this video?"


"Maybe you're the pervert."

"Actually, I was looking up some videos on flowers that girls would like. My girlfriend and I, as you know, were in a fight. Someone suggested I get her a bouquet, looked through several videos and noticed that dog video in the recommendations. I got curious and watched it. After sitting through it all, I decided to follow the dog's advice, so I went over to her dorm room and proceeded to screw her senseless. And so you see Sasuke, you can gain much needed wisdom from these videos. They're quite informative."

"Shut up."

"Although, I'm curious as to how the schematics for the recommended videos work, since I never get anything remotely relevant to what I'm watching. For instance, the other day I was watching a special on the construction of Taipei and then get referred over to a man lighting his rear end on fire. I'm not quite sure how to bridge the gap between the two subjects."

"Look, I don't want to hear it. Just tell me why you're here."

"Mother's been calling you. Dinner is served. And in the future, if you don't want your older brother gaining more pieces of blackmail, which I assure you I will be using eventually, then please lock your door."

"Fine. Tell her I'm coming down. Now get out."

"As you wish, little brother."

He hoped the subject would end. It wasn't the first time he was caught in embarrassing situations by Itachi, nor was it the first time Naruto sent him some idiotic video to watch. Usually the subject would end and another video playlist would be sent his way. But he knew the matter was not going to be dropped anytime soon when the next day at school, Naruto had decided to open his big mouth in the cafeteria.

"You know, I can't look at Sakura-chan anymore without thinking of those two dogs humping each other."

He choked on a tomato wedge. "What?"

"Well, I mean, ever since I saw that video, all I can think about is how weird it is for dogs. I mean, a male dog can just go up to any female on the street, do her and then leave without getting in trouble. When you think about it, dogs have it pretty cool."

"Are you suggesting that a society governed by hormonal driven males with no morality or sense of restraint, taking women against their will in public and detaching themselves from any responsibility for the consequences of their actions and the outcome of their quick bout of intercourse is of sound mind?"

"Well, when you put it that way, I guess not."

"As usual—a moron."

"Shut up. I was just thinking it'd be cool to just have sex without worrying about how right or wrong it is. I mean that female dog didn't look like she was upset about the whole situation. I didn't see her trying to get away."

"That's just one instance. In anyway, humans are different from dogs. We have emotional needs as well, especially women. And another thing, that female can't file a lawsuit for statutory rape like humans can. Do you know what they do to guys like that in the joint?"

Naruto cringed. "Yeah, I know. But what's with you, anyway? Are you some kind of advocate for women?"

"I just have logic, idiot. Besides, only weak men show off how horny they are in public. Have some class and show some restraint and dignity. You disgrace males around."

"Well excuse me for behaving like a normal teenage boy!"

They both glared into empty space, angrily chewing on the remnants of their food. But as the female in question passed by them both and offered a small smile, they began to chew faster and look in another direction. She giggled at their actions and continued on down the path to dispose her tray of food.

"Man, Sakura-chan is really hot, isn't she? Especially in those clothes. I am so grateful the school uniform makes girls wear skirts."

Sasuke's eyes unconsciously watched her as she placed her tray on the conveyor belt. She frowned when she dropped part of her trash and bent down to pick it.

"It's just like what that dog did in the video. And then the other dog came up to mount her."

"Moron, she's just picking up some napkins. That's no reason to get excited." But he had to admit, he was finding the lower part of her body very attractive.

"Look, there's Kiba! He's going right by her. I bet he's planning on mounting her."

"Will you shut the hell up? He's just talking to her." He frowned when he noticed her responding enthusiastically to, most likely, some stupid joke. He frowned even more when a couple of other guys joined the conversation.

"I'm getting pissed just looking at them talk. Hey! That's what happened in the video too! There were a bunch of dogs that smelled the female in heat. Then they all started fighting for her until one of the Shepherds won the fight. Do you think that's what's going on now? It would explain why so many of the guys are hanging around her. Maybe she's in heat."

"For the last fucking time, we're not damn dogs! And if you can't shut the hell up about that video, then you can eat by yourself." He stood up with his tray and walked away from the table.

"Hey great idea! We can go over there and fight them."

"Moron. You're doing this just to aggravate me, aren't you? You don't actually believe any of this is linked to human behavior, do you?"

He chuckled. "Well, maybe not all of it. But you have to admit, men act more like dogs then woman do. I mean, how many female dogs go around lifting their tails and begging the male to mount them?"

"All of them. That's how the mating ritual starts. The female lets the male know she's interested in mating. The male takes it from there."

"And that's how it is in real life for us too! The girls come onto us and flirt and we just go from there!"

"Just shut up, please."

He did remain silent as they approached the group of people that was walking right past them and out of the cafeteria. Sasuke watched as his best friend openly gawked at Sakura as well as several girls who joined up with her group. Naruto grinned widely but she only nodded at him and smiled softly in recognition. Her smile stopped short, however, when her eyes met his. And for just the briefest few seconds, he was completely taken back by their vibrant green color and intensity; her gaze lingered much more with him. First, her eyelashes fluttered low before rising again. She then slid her hand over her neck and tossed aside some of her hair. And then, the right side of her lips quirked upwards. After that quick exchange, she offered a secret smile before walking out of the cafeteria.

"Did you see that? She was totally checking me out!"


"Hey, you alright man?"

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"Well, I'll see you later. I have to get to class before Kakashi chews my ass off again."


He finished up his own business quickly before rushing over to his biology class. As soon as he got there, he realized his choices of empty seats. Throughout most of the year, he usually sat next to a male acquaintance or friend. Most of the females were distracted with his presence and made horrible lab partners during class because of it, thus he never repeated the action. Why he decided now of all times to sit by Sakura was unbeknownst to him.

"All right, everyone. Be seated so we can begin class. For the last three weeks, we have gone over the various stages of the lifecycle of the family Felidae including the development of the embryo, the structure of the systems of the body, the development of hunting techniques and social hierarchies as well as interaction between species. The final week marks the final portion of this month's study including the collapse of bodily functions and the reproductive structure which would restart this vicious cycle all over again. Guess which one we're starting with today?"

Sasuke frowned as his biology instructor clasped her hands together.

"Today we'll be going over the mating rituals."

The rest of the class exchanged snickers and wooting while he sighed in agitation. Just when he was starting to get that damn video out of his head.

"Sasuke-kun? Are you okay?"

"A…ah." He had forgotten she was beside him.

"Before we begin our experiment, I brought over a video to watch. In this particular footage, we'll be watching as two members of the species Acinonyx jubatus, better known as the cheetah, perform their mating ritual. It should be noted that unlike the lion and like the tiger, the cheetahs do not remain together after they mate. The male leaves and the female is left to fend for her young on her own. Make note of this and other details in the film as, I assure you, they will appear on your upcoming exam. Now with that said, let's just see how these two creatures go about procreating, shall we?"

As soon as she switched off the light and played the movie, several people began to sleep or interact with their games and phones. Being the good student he was, he took his pen and began to jot some notes down. Sakura was also a studious person and passionate with science; she began her own note system as well.

Sasuke made several detailed recordings including the posture of both cats, every piece of information regarding body language—from the tails to the ears—and the unique way in which they interacted with each other.

The three brothers approach the female boldly, catching the scent of her urine on the tree. When females are in season, they excrete estrogen…

He wrote along the information of the proteins the man was stating in regards to estrogen. It was weird, and it was probably Naruto's fault, but he wondered if human females gave off those same pheromones when they were prime too. It would explain why so many men were attracted to Sakura recently.

Sasuke mentally reprimanded himself over such ridiculous notions. Even so, he couldn't stop but peek over at Sakura who was switching between looking at the screen and writing her notes. He noted how diligently she scribbled, how her long, pink hair fell over her hands as she began writing and the wonderful aroma that her clothes emitted. He wasn't quite sure about pheromones, but whatever scent she rubbed her clothes with smelled pretty damn good.

The three males begin to exhibit their dominance. They circle the female who begins to swipe back, fending off each male. As each of the brothers tries their hand at successfully wooing her, they simultaneously try to thwart one another's progress with nips and growls. It is imperative that they remain diligent to the task as only one will be allowed to mate with the female.

A piece of paper landed on Sasuke's desk and he looked up to see Kiba mouthing words and pointing over to Sakura. Carefully, he unfolded the piece of parchment and read the contents inside. The words were simple and straightforward: Wanna go out with me?

Kiba was still ushering him to pass it down. Instead, he scribbled down a response with handwriting that replicated hers as close as he could. He had photographic memory, and the few moments he did steal from her writing were enough to allow the forgery to be a success. It was evident from Kiba's scowl as he received her supposed response. Sasuke smirked with satisfaction.

He then heard Sakura's phone vibrate. The sound alerted him to another person possbily trying to gain her attention. She concealed the phone under the lab desk and began to read the text. He assumed it was one of her little girlfriends. But when she turned around and looked back at a boy he previously thought to be more intrigued with his own gender, he knew someone else was moving in to stake claim. She began sending her first message back to Sai before his hands moved of their own accord and gently covered hers as well as the phone she was holding. She seemed alarmed by this.

"If you get caught, she'll give you a month's worth of detention and confiscate your phone."

Sakura frowned. "Oh, okay."

While she was too busy looking at him, he slyly punched in a few keywords and hit the reply button. Sai wouldn't be too happy with his choice of words. Sasuke looked back to catch him frown and curse under his breath. Such a gullible idiot.

The eldest brother, Panko, is the victor and claims his prize: the female Athena. He begins the traditional ritual by following the female as she walks away. After a few struggles, she assumes the position as he mounts her to begin copulation. In a matter of seconds, the moment is over and the male has successfully passed on his genes to the next generation of cubs.

The television was cut off sharply after the incident by the professor. "And there you have it folks. I hope this was an informative lesson for you all." She walked over to the lights and switched them on as everyone began to hurriedly put away their electronic devices and wake up from their naps. "Now then, grab your lab books and partner so we can begin the assignment."

"Um, Sasuke-kun…would you be my partner today? Ino is at home sick."

He watched as both Kiba and Sai admitted defeat to this new development. They were both probably trying to get her as a partner in order to confront her with the responses they received. Well, it would be a mess to have such a confrontation in class.


The lab project went rather well, without any public hostility from either male. He decided to focus his attention on the assignment but found that for once, he was the distracted entity and not the girl before him.

"Sasuke-kun, can you please pass me the petri dish?"


She accepted it albeit with a small frown at his hesitation. "Is something wrong?"

"No, why would you say that?"

"You seem distracted. You're never distracted. Usually you're so focused with your assignments."

"And how would you know that?"

It was decided then by her body that it was her turn to falter. "Well, I mean, from the few moments I do see you, you're usually reading a book outside on the patio, studying in the library or finishing up an assignment in class…"

His eyebrow further rose which caused her to blush.

"Well, I mean…it's not like I'm stalking you or anything! I just so happen to pass by those places often because I like to study a lot too."

"I know. I see you in the lab often working on your DNA projects."

It was her turn to be suspicious. "Oh? And how would you know that?"

He smirked. "I see you in passing."

His hands reached over to grab the lab book, gently grazing hers in the process. There was a shy exchange on her part before she quickly went about her share of the assignment. And the demeanor didn't change throughout the lab as the two continued to pass subtle hints of engagement. There was a stare here, a touch there; a smile here and smirk there. He absent-mindedly followed her around as she collected equipment for the assignment, helping her carry the items she chose. Even throughout the class, he induldged in her curiosity of him and her endless chatter. And some witty comments and light conversation later, the lab had officially ended. He found it hard to go about his usual routine of retreating into his solitude.

"Thanks, Sasuke-kun. I'll see you around okay?"

"Ah." It was unusually difficult to watch her disappear, something he found unsettling.

After class, he headed to his locker for a change of books. The day was fairly long and he was ready to unwind. His time with Sakura was rather enjoyable and caused him to feel a mixture of anxiety and enthusiasm. It was nothing that a lap around the neighborhood with his dog and some video games couldn't solve—so he assured himself.

"Can you believe she totally blew me off? I mean, just a simple no would have been fine; did she have to be such a damn bitch about it?"

"Ha! I guess I was right all along. Sakura-chan loves me after all!"

He ignored them as they continued to quarrel. If he could trade his current locker position with anyone else in the school, he would.

"Actually, Sakura seemed much more interested in her current lab partner," added Kiba.

"Huh, who was that?"

He ignored the looks Kiba and Naruto were giving him, slamming the locker shut in an attempt to escape.

"No way. You were Sakura-chan's partner?"


"But you hate teaming up with girls! Why all of a sudden?"

"Uchiha, don't tell me you like her too."

"Don't be ridiculous. I only agreed because of her academic record. I knew she wouldn't waste too much time parading about me like the other girls."

"I don't know; there was quite a bit of interaction between you two."

He glared at Sai whose sudden intrusion was garnering much attention from the people around the locker room. He began to retreat quickly to avoid a confrontation.

"Hey, teme! How dare you flirt with my Sakura-chan!"

"Your Sakura? Hey, I told you all I was interested in her right from the beginning!"

"Like she'd ever be interested in you!"

"Like your relationship with her would even last a week!"

Sasuke shook his head over their childish antics. Using the sudden outburst between the two as an opportunity, he ducked his head and slinked slyly out of view in order to retreat from the area without being detected. He didn't understand why they were arguing over such an ordeal. It wasn't as if anything truly happened between Sakura and him or as if any of the two held any ownership over her. As far as he was aware, Sakura was a single woman without attachment. She never did have a boyfriend throughout high school and they were close to graduating. It was a rather unusual feat since most people at least had one experience of being in a relationship. Not that he was one to judge considering his lack of experience as well. But Sakura to him seemed more of the type to desire such a thing whereas he preferred his solitude and thus lacked the ability to engage in such activities.

He dipped his hand in his pocket, rattling the keys within them to ensure they were still handy. Before exiting the school, however, he noticed Sakura closing her locker door and retrieving her own set of books. She smiled with lowered eyelids before juggling the contents in her hands. Being the polite boy his mother raised him to be, he jogged over to help her steady her books.

"Thank you. I know it's a lot, but I decided to check out more books in the library for my biology project."

"You're starting it already?"

"Of course. I like to get these kinds of things out of the way as soon as possible. Don't you?"

"Well, yes, actually." It was often hard at times to find someone as academic as him.

"I need to get going if I'm to catch my bus. I'll see you in class tomorrow, Sasuke-kun."



He rubbed the back of his head at the sudden awkwardness of the situation. "Do you…want me to give you a ride or something?"

"Oh…um, if you don't think it will pose a problem with your schedule…then sure. I'd love a ride."


She snuggled into his passenger seat, books nestled safely in her lap. She seemed to be impressed with his car by her initial fascination with the model and the awed looks she was giving the interior. He inwardly smirked with pride.

"Do you know how to get to Thomas?"

"Two miles past the Underpass?"


He started the ignition and sped off the parking lot. The initial part of the ride was silent. He was used to silence in school, but this was the very first time he spent with her outside of school grounds without a posse of other friends tagging along. It made the ride more uncomfortable without something going on. Initially, he was going to turn on some music but decided not to lest she found his particular choice of genres distasteful.

The sound of a ship leaving port resounded in the air which made her smile. It was also enough to break the ice.

"I love port cities, don't you?"

"They're fine."

"The air is so clean here and there's so much to see. And the best part of it is, of course, the harbor. I love going down to the docks, especially on weekends."

"My friends and I go there all the time."

"Yes, I think I see you there on the weekends, at the Maltani. Do you fancy art then?"

"I admire the craft as a whole, but I personally enjoy photography."

"I love art, but watercolor and acrylics are my specialty. I go to the museum all the time for inspiration for my next piece. My friends come with too. And when we're not looking at art pieces in the Maltani or goofing off on a ferry ride, we usually take a stroll around the area to visit the restaurants. I love visiting cafes and trying something new in the menu each time I go."

"Ever been to the Shelton?"

"Yes, and they have the best steak in town. I love it."

"Yeah, it's pretty good."

The conversation died down again, but she didn't seem at all fazed by it. She was more fascinated with the scenery outside. And as they drove by the underpass, he began to slow down to listen to her instructions until they reached her house.

"Thanks for the ride, Sasuke-kun. I really appreciate it."

"It's fine. No trouble."

He was nervous now. She did that thing with her eyelashes again and he swore her hand purposely held his in a brief reassuring gesture to invoke some type of emotion within him—so he deduced. Her lips pulled up into that familiar sweet smile and she carried a certain air to her. She slid off the seat gracefully, and placed her hand on the door.

"Would you like to come in?"

Any other time, he would have rejected the offer like he did with any other friend; it was simply in his nature to rush back home and continue his studies during the weekdays. But the sway in her hips, the bounce of her body and the swish of her hair had him completely entranced. She walked away from the car in complete confidence of his forthcoming response.

"A-ah," he whispered as he shut the engine off. His body carefully walked right behind her as she silkily glided over to the house. And he followed her.

Numbly, mindlessly and instinctually followed her.

"You mean he's not here yet?"

"Not yet."

Naruto threw his books on the dining room table in frustration. "That's not fair. He usually comes straight home. Where is he? I need help with my geometry."

"Naruto, just go upstairs and wait in his room."

"Fine, but hey…come up with me for a second. I have to show you an awesome new video."

"Naruto, I'm busy." Itachi continued to scribble down more notes in his tablet.

"It's two chicks dressed up in Japanese sailor suits going at it."

Itachi immediately closed his book. "I'll log you onto Sasuke's computer."

Naruto waited anxiously as Itachi keyed in his brother's password. As soon as Itachi gave him clearance, he sat down on the chair and began to type in the keywords into the search engine.

"How did you ever come to find this?"

"I was actually looking up the answers to my history homework on Mesopotamia. Somehow, this ended up in the recommendation box when I finished. It's weird."

"You too, huh? If the videos weren't so fucking awesome, I'd actually complain about it. But I am concerned for the younger audience that finds this."

"Yeah, that's freaky. Can you imagine an eight-year old girl that finds this? I'm surprised the parents haven't complained about the feature."

"That's because they're too busy screwing to it."

"Ha! That's what I thought too. Okay, here it goes. It's loading pretty fast so I'll go ahead and play it."

Both boys sat watching the scene play out. Their eyebrows rose midway through the video.


"It's awesome, isn't it?"

"I take it you have a fetish for these types of girls?"

"I'm a seventeen-year old boy. I have a fetish for just about everything."

"I'm glad to see that your generation isn't entirely doomed."

The girls began to gesture each other in provocative ways. It caused both boys to whistle their appreciation over the matter.

"Your brother still not showing signs of being normal?"

"No. And I should know. I live with the guy."

Naruto's eyes bulged over their current position before giving Itachi his attention.

"You mean, you haven't walked in on him jacking off or noticed any stains on his covers? Not even one girl in his room?"

"No. Mother was much stricter with him then she was with me. He was her little angel. As such, she never let him explore deep into the wonders of the opposite gender."

"He really is a momma's boy. Do you think he'll develop some type of weird complex for it?"

"I sure as hell hope not."

"Yeah. But maybe we're counting him out too soon. Some people just develop late, right?"

"I suppose. He might have a chemical imbalance or damaged neurological senses. But even then, most males still fall prey to female persuasion."

"Then, it's official. He's gay."

"Who's gay?"

Naruto was startled by the intrusion and Itachi simply smirked in amusement.

"Oi, teme. Where were you? You walked off while we were talking and didn't say where you were going. And you usually head straight home."

Sasuke scoffed and threw his backpack across the room. "I had an errand to run." Sasuke stole a glance over at the computer and frowned. "What the hell are you watching on my computer?"

"Want me to replay it?"

"If it's more dog porn, I'm not interested, you sick bastard."

"Those were dogs mating. And it's not. This time it's real live humans. Better yet…girl porn. Wanna see?"

"No. Now get out of my room and go home."

"But I need help with geometry!"

"Then get your parents to help you. I'm busy."


"Naruto, why don't you wait downstairs? I need to talk to Sasuke first but after that, he'll come down to help you with your homework."

"Awesome. I'll be waiting in the dining room."

His eyes followed Naruto until he disappeared and slammed the door shut behind him. He smiled knowingly at his brother's disheveled appearance. The buttons on his uniform were slightly unaligned with the correct holes, the collar on his shirt was ruffled, and the jacket was already somewhat wrinkled. On top of that, his hair was a bit unkempt and he carried a very distinctive scent—a feminine scent. His eyes met Sasuke's, who scowled instantly at the upcoming barrage.

"All right. Who's the girl?"

"Excuse me?"

"Naruto may be naïve, but I'm not. Who was it?"

"That's none of your business."

"Neither is it the school's in regards to your choice of videos to watch, but it won't matter once they do know that Uchiha Sasuke likes watching dogs going at it."

"Fuck you. And fine. It was Sakura."

He raised an eyebrow. "Isn't that the girl Naruto likes? You did your best friend's girl?"

"It's not like they're dating. Hell, they rarely even exchange words. He has no claim over her."

"No claim? What are you? Some wild animal from the Serengeti?"

"Shut up."

"How did it even happen? I'm sure you two have very minimal contact as it is. How did it go from that to sex?"

"I don't know. It just happened."

"She seduced you, didn't she?"

"Not exactly. I don't…I mean, I don't think so anyway."

"Did you guys do it in the car?"


"Where then?"

"What's with all the questions? Just back off."

"Dog porn."

"You damn bastard. No. We did it in her room."

"What about her parents?"

"Not home yet."

"Too bad. Would've been an amazing sex story for the future."

"You're sick."

"It's just amusing. My formally asexual little brother just had his first sexual encounter with a female. It's reason for celebration."

"Not a word to anyone."

"They're going to find out eventually."

"Who's going to tell?"

"Well when the next guy fucks her, I'm sure he'll begin to wonder who was there first."

Sasuke furrowed his brows. "They can…tell that?"

"You poor, dumb boy. Yes, they can tell that."

He frowned at the other issue at hand. "What other guys are you talking about?"

"Well, I'm assuming it's probably a hit and run with you. If you're not going to take this further, she'll just move on to the next guy eventually."

His fist tightened.

"I wonder what the next guy will be like? Maybe it'll be Naruto…or that Kiba guy. Will they be in for a surprise when they hear who beat them to the punch."

"Sakura isn't like that."

"Maybe not now, but eventually she'll experiment again. You two will be graduating soon. That's what college is for after all."

"You know, I find it amazing you're still in a relationship. I would have dropped you long ago."

"Good thing we're brothers then. And actually, I found myself in a similar situation before I decided to go steady with my girlfriend."


"Yeah. Thought of other guys fucking her, got pissed and next thing I know we've been going out for two years."


"So what are you going to do?"

"Nothing that concerns you."

"Fair enough. But as your elder brother, it is my responsibility to ensure that the situation is under control as your actions would inadvertently affect the entire family."

"What are you going on about now?"

"Sasuke, answer me this. Did you use a condom?"

A faint scowl soon became a faint frown. His eyebrows rose subsequently and his eyes reflected the sheer horror of a ghost that had suddenly possessed his being for his body had taken on a rather sickly hue. His brother's smirk became evident as the transition progressed along.

"And thus the male successfully passes on his genes to the next generation of children."

Naruto MP3 Collection (NEW)

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1. Naruto
shippuden ost akatsuki - Shuichi ikemori
- MP3

3. Toumei datta sekai - Naruto shippuden - MP3