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Monday, May 5, 2008

Passion 3


Author: Sapphire720


The both of them laid there for a couple of minutes and caught their breath. Kurenai was the first to speak.

“You know what? That was good, not the best but definitely promising.”

Kakashi looked over at her and pulled her body to his.

“Hmph, really? Who else could be better than me?”

“I’m afraid to say that Gai has you beat.”

“What!? You didn’t anything about ever having sex with him!”

She laughed softly.

“Calm down, I was only playing. But then again.. with all that stamina he must be pretty good.”

“I have stamina too.. plus I’m way bigger than he is.”

“How and why would you know that?”

Kakashi scrunched up his face and looked disgusted at the ceiling.

“One of our contests.”

She laughed and then reached behind her for his dick.

“Well this thing is huge.”

Laughing she stroked it and Kakashi pulled her closer.


“Not yet. We can always do it when we get back to Konoha.”

Surprised Kakashi leaned to see her face.


Kurenai’s face grew pink as she gave a little laugh.

“I don’t see why not.”

She took one of his milky white hands and kissed it repeatedly with her eyes closed.

“Remember when I told you.. how I always wanted to do this with you..”

It wasn’t really a questions but more of a summoning of a memory. Kakashi smiled down at her and hummed softly.

“You are the best, you know. I’ve never had anyone come close to satisfying me like only you could.”

Hugging her tighter Kakashi was silent. Kurenai turned around in his embrace to see why and saw that he was asleep.

“Heh. Well you’re loss, my gain.”

She took that time to study his lips and kiss them repeatedly like the hand.

“I love you.”

Kurenai closed her eyes with a smile and drifted to sleep.

Passion chapter 2

Author: Sapphire720


Kakashi and Kurenai pulled away from their first kiss and opened their eyes to stare into the other’s, wondering if the feeling wasn’t only one-sided. Then, tilting their heads they went in again. Kakashi brushed her lips with his tongue hoping to enter. She parted her lips open and touched the tip of his tongue with her own which made him thrust his over hers and proceed to swirl around it in a exploration. Neither could breath but they really didn’t feel the need to.

She combed her fingers through his hair surprised to find it was still silky soft. He put one hand on the back of her head and the other on her hip. As time went on, they only got more heated in passion and soon he was in the water, on top of her fully clothed. She opened her legs for him to lay between as bubbles from his clothes rose to the surface and the clothes themselves got darker from being wet. Kakashi pinned her arms above her with his left hand and explored her body with his right. Rubbing, molding, and pinching her into a world of ecstasy, she didn’t seem to mind that she was being held down in dominance. In fact, she was enjoying it even though she had never let anyone ever be in that position. Being the take charge person she was and a ninja, who had to always watch for traps, wouldn‘t let anything of the sort happen. But it was Kakashi, and Kurenai couldn’t bring herself to even imagine him ever betraying her.

She only pulled her arms free to place them on the hem of his pants as he started to kiss her neck and nibble her ear, she craned her neck away impulsively as the overwhelming feeling swept her senses. Then she pushed down his pants and whatever might be under as far as she could before he kicked them off. After that she pulled the spandex up over his head and off his arms. Kakashi smiled and resumed kissing her, both of them relishing the feeling of their skins making contact; especially when his member was on the mound of flesh above her womanhood. He had both of his hands on her waist as he directed himself to her entrance, his tip asking for permission by prodding it gently. An upward thrust along with labored breathing answered him.

He slipped his penis into her making loud moans emit from both of them and stayed there for a few seconds so they could get adjusted.

Coming out halfway before thrusting inside of her, he then pulled out to the tip before repeating the thrust. Kurenai writhed beneath him so he took her hands again above her and held her there with one hand, the other on her waist. She could only think of trying to make him go faster and wrapped one leg around his waist so she could follow the rhythm better. Going so hard and fast, they both felt like they were going insane with pleasure.

Kurenai had never felt like this before, she pushed her other foot against the tub as he rocked against her swiftly. Her hands tried to fight against his one hand and her hips bucked harder against his in a attempt to somehow feel more of him. His hand was still on her waist for balance and his forehead rested in the crook of her neck. It was getting to be overwhelming, being inside Kurenai, having her muscles coax him into another plane of reality. Kakashi met his body with hers much harder as he increased the speed. The water was splashing around them and out of the tub, the both of them screaming with the excitement and pleasure of it.

Their bodies were in sync as they got closer to the climax. Kurenai moaned loudly, her hips bucked wildly while she held his body close. He continued to hump afterwards and bended his head down to flick her nipples with his tongue before suckling softly on it. Sighing, she played with the hair on the back of his neck when he grabbed her thighs tightly and pumped his penis into her three more times before exploding into her.

Even though they were both in water, there was sweat cascading down their faces. Kakashi laid on her breathing hard as she was just catching her breath. A few minutes passed when they were both just totally quiet. She was the first to speak.

“What now?”

He honestly didn’t know what to say. The whole experience was his best and yet they only did so little. He wished they could do more, he already wanted her again and he knew that he’d want her tomorrow and after that too. But this was obviously a one-time thing.

“We get dressed, I guess.”

She felt a little pang in her chest at how dismissing he was towards what they just did. Waiting for her to say something with his eyes closed, she was still playing with his wet hair. She then stopped and rubbed his shoulder, starting to get up.

“Okay then.”

Lifting his body up off her, he got out and held her hand for her to follow. She bent down to pull out the drain plug and picked up their clothes before following him into the warm room. Opening his duffel bag, Kakashi got out clean clothes and turned to ask Kurenai if they should leave now. Her eyes were on his body and when he turned around, her eyes widened when they caught sight of the penis that was just in her. It became erect again and now she didn’t feel like leaving. They had already done it, what was the harm of doing it again?

With this reasoning, she walked up to him and wrapped her arm around his neck, glad that his manhood poked her stomach. The other hand went around it and felt it stretch even more in her hand. ‘Damn, he’s bigger than I thought.’ Putting her thumb on the tip, she rubbed gently before taking the whole shaft and feeling it.

“It’s like satin..”



She led him to the king-sized bed and gently pushed him down.

Surprise took over Kakashi’s features as he was being lead to the bed by her. In the tub, them having sex was just a matter of circumstance but now, she was basically saying she wanted him. His ass hit the cold sheets and Kurenai kept following and pushing with that one hand still on his dick. He crawled backwards with his elbows, keeping his eyes locked with hers, until they were at the pillows. She reached up to kiss him sweetly, then went down with the kisses.

They went down his jaw.. to the side of neck... up to play with his ear since it drove him crazy.. straight to the skin above his nipple and then going around in clockwork fashion before licking the nipple itself and then gently nipping and sucking it. Proceeding, she went down his abs to the area between his navel and penis and planted small butterfly kisses. Taking her time, she used the hand on his penis the whole time.

Kakashi’s breathing was labored as he watched his fantasy come true. He wanted her to put her mouth on him, but he knew she wouldn‘t. The rest of his dick and his balls ached to be touched and she knew this. She wanted to torture him, though he had to admit the kisses he was getting felt good and made shivers run up his spine.

The soft set of lips on him started to go lower and he wondered if maybe she would suck him, even just lick him. He stared hard at her lips hoping they would keep going and then almost as if she knew she looked up and smiled evilly. The kissing stopped and Kurenai lowered her head until her mouth was right above his dick.

It was bad but right then she wanted to be bad. She would tease him even though he’d probably get angry. She held his penis right below her mouth and opened wide. He thrust up a little and she backed away.


It wasn’t his fault but he would have to control himself while she did this. Kakashi grabbed at the sheets and pulled as he braced himself. Then she opened her mouth wide again and lowered it over him, not yet touching, just having it there with only hot breath making contact. She looked up at him again and loved how he looked at her desperately. Instead of closing her mouth, Kurenai pulled away. She did it again two times; making believe she was going down and pulling away before her lips made any contact.

The whole time Kakashi just stared, wanting her to just lick him. Damn it, he had actually had dreams of this and she was playing around. He would’ve begged her to do it for him but he resisted for the sake of his dignity.

Kurenai stared into his eyes and then admired his naked body. She wasn’t going to do it but her mind was slowly changing. Looking into his eyes again she seriously thought about giving Kakashi an actual blow job. Sticking her tongue out unsurely she looked at him. Meanwhile, Kakashi thought she was playing around again. He laid his head back in frustration but it shot up when he felt the wet softness.

Placing the end of her tongue on his tip she circled it curiously and felt his hips jerk. Kakashi was staring down at her in amazement.

“Congratulations. You are the first to get me to do this and I don’t even know why.”

She opened her mouth and put it on his penis circling it with her tongue and then sucked gently on it. Her teeth lightly grazed him as she pulled off.

“Tell me what to do.”

“Suck how you just did but harder.. and your teeth, don’t let them graze me..”

She repeated what she did to his tip, sucking on it as she felt his wetness. This time she made sure to keep her teeth away as she pulled off. Licking down the side of the member she bent her head sideways and sucked at the bottom. Then she gently kneaded his balls testing if it would hurt him or not. When he moaned she kept on.

Kakashi had his eyes closed with his mouth slightly parted. Then he forced his eyes opened to see her. It was his fantasy; looking down and seeing Kurenai sucking his dick.

Liking the sound she made come from him she licked up and decided to go deep. Sticking as much of him into her mouth she reached the middle before it felt like she would gag. Stopping she sucked him off hard bobbing her head up and down. Some of the cum mixed with her saliva slipped down his shaft as she did this. As wanted, Kakashi was moaning louder and grabbing at the sheets. Picking her head up she stared at in his facial expression curiously. His eyes were staring at her in pleasure and he looked like he was on cloud 9. It excited her to see Hatake Kakashi like this so she held her hair with one hand and his dick with the other. Going down again she made it all the way and continued sucking while her head went up and down. She sucked him all the way to the top and then swirled her tongue around him.

His hips were jerking up again uncontrollably and she kept on loving how she made him like that.

“I’m going to cum, move or it’ll get in your mouth.”

She was glad to her that he was being considerate of her but she wanted to taste more of him. He looked down with his eyes wide as he grunted, actually glad that she didn’t stop.

“Ahh shit! Suck harder! Ungh!”

She did what he said and sucked harder while making her mouth run sprints up and down his length. He was hot and silky and she could feel the veins on him.

“Unh ahh-! Mmmm! Shit! Uuunnngghhh - I’m going to cum!”

His hips jerked up and poured into her mouth his cum. She felt it’s heat as she took the task of swallowing it. He came so much though that she had to pull off and felt the rest come on her face.

Opening his eyes, Kakashi looked down at Kurenai who had his cum all over her face and some at the corners of her mouth. She didn’t look mad but instead touched the substance and rubbed it between her fingers. He smiled, completely satisfied, at her and after a minute or so sat up. She sat there between his legs and looked at him, licking the corners of her mouth.

“..You don’t taste bad.”

Looking at her playfully he hugged her to him and laid the both of them down. Then he kissed her and wiped his cum off her face, using it to rub her clit. Making it all slippery he put two fingers in her, then went in and out with them. She moaned and moved to lay on top of him as they made out for a few minutes. He could taste himself in her mouth and it made him glad to know she had it there on her own accord. Pulling his fingers out of her tight entrance he grinned devilishly at her when she looked at him with disappointment.

“It’s my turn Kurenai.”

Kurenai’s eyes widened as Kakashi flipped her onto the bed, kissing her neck, he slipped one hand to her clit. She let out a small shriek before he drowned her out with his lips and then when she ceased he went down, stopping briefly to have his tongue play with her nipples.


Soon he was right at her entrance. Still using his fingers to tease her clit Kakashi took the time to look at her in wonder.

“You’re really wet Kurenai, it’s... odd.. how much I’m getting turned on by the sight of it.”

“Kakashi, please...”

He looked up to her and saw a face full of want. She was rubbing her nipples tactfully as he watched silently with his mouth parted. Deciding that now was the time he stopped rubbing her with his fingers and replaced them with his tongue.

Hearing Kurenai’s labored breathing got him excited. Moving his tongue down to her entrance Kakashi delved into it. Screaming in pleasure, she grabbed the bedpost behind her and pulled.

Never before had anyone done this and it was incredible. The feeling of his soft, wet tongue going inside her and moving was unbelievable. Grabbing harder and the post, she tried to hold in any noise but gave up when he rapidly flicked his tongue in and out of her.

The whine that emitted from Kurenai got him excited. Yet he wanted her to beg and he also wanted to hear her say that he was better than anyone else she ever had.

Stopping suddenly Kakashi didn’t know why it had bothered him... what he had just thought. The thought of men other than him doing this to her instantly created a strange mix of anger, sadness, possessiveness in his chest.

“Please Kakashi..”

Looking up at her face he wondered who else witnessed that same expression. Then forcing himself out of his state of jealousy he worked his ministrations on her until she shrieked and pulled on that bed post making it crack. Then he stopped.

“Who else have you ever been with?”

Looking down in exhaustion and disbelief, Kurenai quickly thought of the names and told him. It was only a couple of men but one stood out.


She couldn’t believe he was asking this right now.

“How long? How many times?”

Now Kurenai leaned up but was pushed back down by him. She furrowed her brows impatiently but held her tongue as his continued to pleasure her. Licking her lips from the pleasure she halted her breathing when he stopped.

“..For a few months. We only did it three times because of missions.”

Seemingly satisfied, Kakashi licked her clit before suckling it gently. He continued playing with her, making her scream and thrash. Plunging his tongue in again she breathed rapidly and then thrust her hips to the air and orgasmed.

The feeling was an incredible mix of pleasure and pain. Her pussy dripped with clear liquid and clenched with the orgasm and her moans rang throughout the room.

Without letting much time pass Kakashi came back up to capture her nipples and Kurenai relished the feeling while combing her fingers through his hair.

“Tell me... that I’m the best you’ve ever had.”

Kurenai’s eyes snapped open and met his eyes at her breast. He was looking at her with a cockiness in his eyes.

‘He wants me to tell him that so is ego will feel good... ass.’

“No, idiot.”

Kakashi’s lips came up to hers and dominated her. Covering her body with his, Kakashi pinned her down and opened her legs with his knee. The whole time Kurenai kept his eye contact and smirked, letting him do whatever it was he planned.

“Let’s do this again then, Kurenai.”

She smirked and then licked her lips in ecstasy as he entered her again. Intertwining his fingers with hers, he bent low to her neck and sucked on it. She laughed a bit and then moaned as he used his tongue to write her name. They both could feel her nipples turn into pebbles again. Kurenai moved her hips up and wrapped her legs around his waist possessively. He let go of her hands and leaned closer to her.

“You ready?”

Looking at him questioningly, Kurenai then felt him pump roughly into her making her wince and let out a held in breath. Continuing he pushed and pulled, in and out of her hard and slow. He himself was wincing from holding back from busting a nut. Then with the all control he had, Kakashi stopped to look down and see tears in her eyes.

“Are you alright?”

“Yes, it’s just so much and at once.”

He saw that she was in no pain and continued only to stop when her hips started bucking.


“..Huh? Wh-what?”

“Say it.”


He smiled and pushed into her hard again, holding her tight to control his own reactions. She moaned loudly and gritted her teeth.

“Say it.”

“You’re the.. you’re the most-... conceited ass I’ve ever had the pleasure to fuck.”

Laughing Kakashi kissed her gently on the nose before thrusting in a few more times to drive her even more crazy. Then he stopped.

“Just say it.”


With unforeseen strength she turned him over onto his back and held his arms over his head then went up and down on him herself. Finding himself in a bad position Kakashi couldn’t do anything as she drove him deeper to climax and he couldn’t hold it in with her over him. Watching her breasts bouncing and her dazed eyes he grabbed them and kneaded them roughly.

The both of them continued and screamed and moaned as everything from sight to sound made them closer. Screaming Kurenai laid on a grunting Kakashi and came. A few seconds later he let go and his seed shot into her.


Pairing: Kurenai X Kakashi

Rating: M

Author: Sapphire720

Title: Passion

I got this title idea from the song Passion by Utada Hikaru. It was the song for Kingdom Hearts 2. This story is a one-shot story for my second favorite couple Kakashi and Kurenai. It is also my second fan fiction, first lemon, and first completed story. Please review if you have the time and/or opinion, Thank you. ;)


Author: Sapphire720


She stepped into the hot water and moaned as the heat soothed her tired muscles caused by her very recent mission. She sighed as she thought about it.

‘At least it was successful.’

She was thankful that Kakashi was here, it added a great advantage having him for a partner.

They were expected to have completed the mission in three days but it only took two and instead of heading back to Konoha with the sure chance of another mission, the two decided to relax in an inn. Besides, it wouldn’t hurt anyone; at least she hoped so.

“All right, I’m going to take this time to relax.”

She sank further into the water and closed her eyes. As the minutes passed and as Kurenai began to relax she felt a pair of hands slowly trace her body, from her neck to her breasts and over her nipples. They hardened slightly before one hand dragged lazily across the area just below her navel and the other slid down her leg. As it drew ribbons down to her knee then up the inside of her leg, she felt her body give a sudden shiver even though the water was steamy. Her excitement rose and she wanted more, mentally she commanded that they do more... mentally those hands were milky white with familiar gloves on them.

When the finger met with the button above her womanhood, it circled and pressed...and then it fell limp. Kurenai opened her eyes and brought her arms up and folded them under her breasts.

‘How long has it been?’

She sighed and stared at the tiles ahead of her. It was a few minutes she was in the hot water when she heard the doorknob turn and the door swing open. Whirling around she faced a man with silver hair and a mask over his mouth; it took a few seconds to recover from the initial shock and register that it was Kakashi. She looked up from her position clueless. He had taken off everything except his pants and spandex undershirt.

Kakashi looked down at her, his eyes wide in surprise, frozen in place. She opened her mouth to speak but found she’d forgotten how to in the last few seconds. He stared at her face taking notice of her eyes and lips in his own secret astonishment and overbearing want. Their crimson color always entranced him in that way and her clever and stubborn will had always amused and turned him on.

She sucked in a breath as he kneeled beside her and reached out to take a piece of hair framing her face in his hand. All Kurenai could do was stare at him slightly pink in the face with a blank mind. He moved his hand to her face and around the flesh at the edge of her eye staring into them. He leaned his face closer to hers.

Snapping out of her daze she focused in on his eyes, silently asking what they were doing. Once Kakashi saw it, he stopped just two inches from her face.

“I’m sorry...Kurenai.”

He hung his head a little and looked up into her eyes again.

“Just forget that I came in...sorry.”

She swallowed the lump in her throat when he did that; point his head down and look up at her. Something in that gesture made her want to kiss him.

‘Do I feel bad for him? Or is it that I need someone to be with.’

As he somewhat shamefully leaned back, she reached out and grabbed the hem of his mask. Kakashi stared at her in surprise. Kurenai, unsure of whether she should initiate a physical relationship with this man, looked him in the eyes; one black and one the color of her own with a defined scar slicing through from one eyelid to the other. His trademark lazy eyes were now alert with the concentration of being in a battle and were somewhat pleading and sincere. The spandex, slowly but surely, peeled away from the bottom portion of his face revealing the most beautiful lips she had ever laid eyes on. Then she leaned in and laid hers over them, closing her eyes. Immediately, both felt sparks of excitement as an electric feeling ran throughout their entire bodies.

Masochist: A KakaXAnko story


Author: kabuxshika

Kakashi moaned as the kunai slid between the bones of his hand and grabbed the wrist of the ninja he was fighting. He was bleeding pretty badly actually. The other ninja wasn’t a bad fighter, but now he was caught. There was no getting loose without cutting off his own hand. Kakashi took out a kunai from his own pack spinning it a few times on his finger before slicing across the other ninja’s neck.

The ninja died swiftly and Kakashi allowed the kunai to slip out of his hand. He curled it close to his body moaning softly at the little waves of pain it aroused. His eyes glazed over slightly. ‘I need to get to Anko.’ Was the only thought in his head now. He shot off toward Konahagakure.

It wasn’t long before he was nude and bound in front of his dominatrix: Anko. She whipped him for having indulged in pain with someone else. He squirmed and moaned his cock hard and needy against his stomach. She smirked running the whip lightly over his balls to tease him. “That feel good, my little slut?” She teased happily as she reclined beside him, kissing his neck and roughly pinching his nearer nipple.

Kakashi arched into her hand moaning and nodding fiercely as he tried to get more from her. She pulled her hand away and stood letting him watch as she wiggled her hips for him. She walked out of his line of sight and made a big fuss out of choosing what toy to use on him today.

Meanwhile Kakashi was squirming as he imagined what they did with those toys, already so close to cumming. He groaned and tried to see which toys she would choose. He couldn’t see her of course, but he could try and try he would until she came into his line of sight once more.

Anko came over, straddling him the tight leather of her pants showing off her nice figure as she showed off the chosen toys: a cock ring – for without he wouldn’t last very long, a vibrator – at which Kakashi’s eyes glazed over more and he started panting, and some vibrating nipple clamps connected by a chain. These she attached first turning them on all the way up. Kakashi’s eyes closed and he started moving his hips as he moaned loudly.

Anko smirked slipping the cock ring on him. Kakashi bucked against her hand as she stroked him some. She smirked and pulled away inserting the vibrator into him so the tip just barely brushed his prostrate then turned that too all the way up. Kakashi started bucking wildly, moaning and throwing his head back.

Anko slipped from the bed and gave Kakashi a nice little strip show. She slowly undid her pants as she opened her mouth and closed her eyes. She moved her hips in slow, sensual circles letting out a sweet moan as she slipped them down her hips. She bent at her hips putting her ass up in the air for Kakashi to see as she took her pants off. She then straightened and threw her hair over one shoulder as she slowly ran her hands up her finely toned legs. “Mmmmm” she moaned as she slipped a finger into herself briefly.

Kakashi, she could see was panting hard and riding the vibrator as much as he could in his bound state. She gave him a knowing smirk and licked her own juices from her finger. After that she ran her hands down the front of her shirt and tucked her fingers under the hem slowly revealing a skinny toned waist and lush, full breasts as she lifted her shirt off. She saw his cock twitch with need as she blew him a kiss. She smirked, suddenly playing shy as she covered her breasts with her arms hugging them to herself and giving him a coy look. This wrenched a groan from Kakashi and she seductively slid closer to the bed.

She straddled Kakashi’s hips and sunk down on him as he tried to buck up into her. She restrained him and he groaned but had no choice but to go at her pace. Of course that was what he had wanted: a strict dominatrix who would hurt him without a qualm. He moaned as she clenched her sweet, warm walls around his cock. “God Anko.” He gasped in praise. She was all he could ever have hoped for and so much more.

Anko smirked and began to ride him, moaning happily. She had been a little shocked when he’d come to her begging her to hurt him. That had been two years ago just after his fight with Zabuza and she had willingly cut him and beat him and then had plenty of sex with him. It amazed her what he hid under his clothes and his mask. Kakashi Hatake, the Copy ninja was a masochist at heart and needed to be dominated. Who could have known? ‘Maybe old Sarutobi’ She thought as she closed her eyes, She was close. She arched her back and pressed her hands against Kakashi’s scarred but beautiful chest moaning out her climax loudly.

She pulled up, off of Kakashi, hearing him groan not wanting to lose her warmth just yet. His hips moved up until he could no longer reach her then lay against the bed again as he watched her. His cock was throbbing so hard that it hurt not to touch it. She smiled sitting by him and petting it some before removing the cock ring. He clenched his eyes shut tight and came hard, screaming as he covered his stomach, chest and neck with his spunk. Black edged his vision as he came. ‘I’m going to pass out.’ He thought to himself as he looked to Anko. ‘At least the last thing I see before I do pass out is her. So beautiful and harsh.’ He moaned softly, feeling as boneless as jelly as he grinned like a fool. “That was amazing, Mistress.” He whispered, slightly hoarse from his scream.

Anko smiled and set to removing his bindings. “I thought so.” She teased as she curled up with him, nuzzling his neck happily. “So, when’s your next mission?”

Kakashi's Wedding

Disclaimer: I do now own Naruto or any of the characters.

Kakashi's Wedding

Author: Bullwinkle's Lady

Summary: Kakashi is getting married, and feels the need to torture the rookie nine in the process. One-shot. Crack fic. SasuSaku, NaruHina...sorta.

Authors Note: Ok, this is rated R ( meaning, all you fucking 11-year-olds, go the fuck away, you fucking rodents! And if you're over fifty...I don't want you reading this either! I HATE OLD PEOPLE! GRRRRR, I HATE THEM SO MUCH!

(jking, jking. well, about the old people thing, not the 11-year-old thing. Er...please-don't-hurt-me.)

Ahem, onward to the story. Enjoy.


...The Invite...

Upon receiving the invitation-

"What?" muttered Sasuke.

"I'm...confused," mentioned Sakura.

"Der," said Naruto.

"I want you to be my..."

"Best man," muttered Kakashi.

"Maid of honor," stated Anko.

"Flower...boy," Kakashi insisted.

"When did this happen?" said Sasuke, baffled.

"I'm...still confused," mentioned Sakura.

"Der..." said Naruto.




- - -

Sasuke stared blankly as Kakashi explained.

"Because if I'm standing next to you, I'll look super-cool!" the jounin said excitedly, somehow missing the fact that it was his wedding.

Sasuke found that he couldn't argue with this logic. "Hn, sure," he said.

- - -

"Because your pink hair is way too awesome!" said Anko, nodding furiously.

Sakura found herself unable to argue with this logic. "Of course I'll be your maid of honor!" she said happily.

- - -

"'re really short...and look sorta like a girl," Kakashi explained.

"Er..." said Naruto.

...The Fitting...

Sakura, as well as Ino, Tenten, and Temari who were being fitted as brides maids, were slightly surprised to find that their dresses were all short, black, tight, and...leathery.

"Um..." Sakura said, looking down at herself after having put her dress on. It revealed quite a bit of cleavage.

"They look great!" said Anko, just as Ino walked out of a dressing room.

The blonde glanced at Sakura. "You look like a hooker," she mentioned to the other girl.

A moment passed.

"Thanks!" said Sakura excitedly. "Like, so do you!"

"Like, really?" said Ino, bouncing up and down.

Naruto was also there, being fitted into a beautiful pink gown.

"It looks good," Anko insisted, turning to Naruto who had just exited his own dressing room.

Naruto blushed. "Really? Do ya think?" he said, as he did a little twirl.

- - -

Sasuke, as well as Neji, Kankuro, Shino, Shikamaru, Lee, Gaara, Kiba, and Choji who were being fitted as, er, grooms maids, were slightly surprised to find that their tuxedos were all rather...purple. And bright. And sparkly.

"They glow in the dark!" Kakashi was excitedly mentioning. "And they come with these great wallet-carriers!" he said, holding up a sparkly purple purse.

Saskue twitched. "There is no way-"

He was left ignored as Kakashi turned his attention to Hinata, who was being fitted as the ring bearer.

"You look great!" he said to the Hyuuga, who had just exited a dressing room in a black tuxedo.

"Yeah, I know," responded Hinata, as she scratched her ass.

...The Ceremony...

The men clutched tightly to what was left of their dignity as babies cried and children screamed at their sparkly purpleness.

"But ya have to admit, these wallet-carriers are pretty handy," said Lee, opening his "wallet-carrier" to reveal to the others his wallet, his cell phone, his medication, and, who knows, maybe he had a few tampons in there as well.

Neji slapped him upside his head.

"Ouchies!" said Lee.

"Shhhh, the ceremony's starting," whispered Choji, his own "wallet-carrier" full of potato chips.

Meanwhile, Naruto and Hinata were slowly walking up the aisle together, Naruto tossing pink flowers here and there.

"Hinata..." Naruto whispered. "You look...very handsome," he said shyly.

Hinata weakly smiled. "And you look...very pretty," she mentioned to Naruto.

Naruto blushed girlishly, before releasing a girlish giggle, hiding his face behind a girlish fan, all while wearing his girly pink dress.

The girls watched, giggling, their extremely tight dresses squeaking every once in a while with their movement.

"They're so cute," whispered Sakura.

"I know," said Ino.

"I love this dress!" said Temari. (A/N: Of course you do.)

Tenten, who wasn't as dedicated to anorexia as the others, was meanwhile breathing heavily as though she was suffocating.

After staring at her for a moment, Ino mouthed the words, "Fatty," and Sakura, Temari, and Ino burst into a fit of giggles at Tenten's expense.

Kakashi and Anko had finally reached the alter, Kakashi in a conservative black tuxedo, and Anko in a traditional white wedding gown that trailed across the floor.

"Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?" the priest asked Anko.

"Hell yeah!" said Anko, in her excitement, grabbing the priest's face and shoving it into her breasts.

When the priest was finally released, flustered and twitching, he shakily said. "And d-do y-you?"

Before Kakashi had the chance to hump the poor man in his own excitement, Anko answered for him, "He sure as hell does!"

"Er..." said the priest, "Then you may kiss...the groom," he said awkwardly.

And with that, Kakashi and Anko frenched, began to undress each other, but before they could get any further, were violently pelted with rice by fellow jounin and ANBU, in hopes to aware them of their surroundings.

Looking up, the couple blushed cutely, before heading out.

...The Reception...

Sasuke had skipped cake to get out of his horrible suit. Oddly, he had found a hooker in the closet.

"Sakura, is that you," he said, removing his trusty flashlight from his pants and turning it on.

"N-no," said Sakura, covering her eyes against the light. "I'm just...some random hooker."

"Oh," said Saskue, relieved. She smirked a little. "So..." he said. "We're both this closet," he mentioned, 'subtly'. "And...I happen to have this spare fifty bucks in my pocket..."

Sakura's eyes widened. Fifty dollars? And Sasuke-kun? Fifty dollars and Sasuke-kun! This was the best day of her life! "Come to moma," she said huskily, grabbing the Uchiha's ass.

The flashlight went out.

" glow in the dark?"

- - -

Naruto and Hinata had meanwhile found a table to make out underneath, and were steadily undressing each other.

"Please be gentle," whispered Naruto.


After their one night stand, Hinata, satisfied, had decided to never ever call Naruto back...ever.

The End

Thanks for reading, please...uh...whatever. I'm sure that I'm gonna to end up hysterically crying (FOR DAYS AND DAYS!) no matter what happens (I swear, I'LL CRY FOR DAYS AND DAYS!)



By Insomniac Owl


Kakashi didn’t like the look of him. It wasn’t so much his appearance (he was dressed nicely, after all, looked as close to normal as one could get, so it couldn’t be that) or his mannerisms, so much as it was a gut feeling. And the longer he watched him, the stronger it grew. He’d been sitting in the café for over an hour, and his coffee had grown cold a while ago, but he couldn’t bring himself to leave. He couldn’t convince himself the feeling was just that - a feeling - and so he stayed, watching the man watch the boy watch the pedestrians and the pages of his book.

The boy had come just a few minutes after the man, taking up residence near the door with a drink of his own. Black hair, dark eyes, black jacket and jeans. Pretty nondescript. But Kakashi had watched, and the man hadn’t taken his gaze off the boy for more than a few seconds the entire hour. He was surprised, actually, that the boy hadn’t taken notice. He had a book, though, so perhaps that was it.

The entire time, there was one word Kakashi could not get out of his head.


A few years ago he had graduated from a police academy, majoring in criminal behavior, so it was only natural he felt this way. The signs were there, and though Kakashi would have to watch him a while longer to be sure, he’d be willing to bet the dog and lot on it now. The man had waited (suggesting routine on the part of the boy, he probably came here every day, or every other day, or something), and though he wasn’t so circumspect about watching the boy as they normally were (they were more casual, normally, they tried to hide what they were doing, they at least blinked for Christ’s sake), he watched. And Kakashi was willing to bet that when the boy got up to leave, the man would too, full coffee cup or not.

And he would follow him, perhaps to a house, perhaps to an apartment, and he would linger… And later on, he would come in, through a window, a door - maybe he even knew him, or had talked to him and so could be trusted. Maybe he was a complete stranger, and when the boy saw him standing in his bathroom doorway, he would let out a muffled scream, but the man’s hands would already be clapped over his mouth, and he would be whispering…

(The house is dark, as it usually is, but there is a car parked outside that he doesn’t recognize. It looks expensive, though not in a pretentious way, as if the owner were trying to show off - it looks nice and that’s all. But he doesn’t recognize it, and it makes him cautious as he’s opening the door, as he’s stepping inside. The first thing he does is flick on the light, but he doesn’t see anything suspicious. Television, couch, books. Same as always.)

Kakashi blinked, tearing his eyes away from the man. Such thoughts only made him sick sick sick, and he’d do better thinking of how to stop what he knows without a shadow of a doubt will happen. Does he really, though? Perhaps he’s gotten paranoid, too involved. There was that incident last week - the reason he was here in the first place instead of at work. They didn’t fire him, but they’d given him a week of leave. To recuperate, they said. You don’t kill a man a walk away unchanged.

But even on leave he couldn’t get away from his job. Or, no, right now it wasn’t actually his job. It was concern, and because of his work he was better equipped to handle the situation. There was even a gun under the passenger seat in his car, if he needed it….

He probably wouldn’t, though, because he knew how these people worked. Chances were, if he saw Kakashi go up to the boy, maybe even start talking to him, he would leave. Can’t have witnesses. But if the boy didn’t trust him? Kakashi was a complete stranger to him, after all, and if he came up and asked to sit down that would make the boy uneasy.

Stalker, he would think.

On the other hand, even if he did let him sit down, what about the next day? And after that? People like that man didn’t give up because one day had been ruined. No, they kept coming back, and back, until they had corned their victims (because that’s just what they are, really) and done what they pleased with them.

In any case, that was later. He would deal with all that later. Right now the most pressing concern was the fact that the man rose from his seat. He might be getting another cup of coffee, of course, but he was heading in the wrong direction. And those eyes (gold, Kakashi hadn’t noticed them before), outlined in black makeup, were still locked on the boy, unwavering. Kakashi felt his mouth drop open when he sat down, bold as brass, at the boy’s table. That action went against everything he’d learned, and he could hardly help it. They did not approach their victims until the appropriate time, they did not talk to them; they followed, day after day with mounting obsession. The only explanation for it was acquaintance - he knew the boy. Had to be.

But the boy looked up, and Kakashi knew it didn’t. One could not fake the surprise and suspicion that came into his eyes then, or time the expectant, awkward pause.

“Do you want something?”

Kakashi had to strain to hear even those words, and when a group of girl came through the door, chattering in high-pitched voices, he could no longer hear much of anything. He settled instead for watching, uncomfortably aware of the similarities just then. Both he and the golden-eyed man had watched from across the room, both entertaining the idea of approaching the object of their fascination.

The man’s lips were moving, and as Kakashi watched, suspicion faded from the boy’s eyes. What could he be saying? What words could be voiced to make him trust the man?

When the boy answered back, Kakashi stood up. Casually, nothing forced or too controlled, he walked toward them, the boy’s words fading from cover as he went.

“That’s nice of you,” he was saying, “but it’s fine.” Though there was no suspicion in his words, there was something else. Caution maybe. He didn’t quite trust the man just yet, which was good. Whatever he was planning wouldn’t happen today if he wanted to gain the boy’s trust. That took time, Kakashi knew. It was not a spontaneous thing - it had to be built, and no matter how smooth a talker the man was, doing so would take more than a single conversation.

Like the dogs. For his minor at the academy, Kakashi had taking canine training courses. Drug detection, tracking, that sort of thing. The dogs were smart, amazingly so, and they wouldn’t greet him even after a week. Instead they watched him, warily, always ready should he prove to be not such a nice guy after all. After nearly three years working with his dogs, he was now the only one they did not growl at on sight. They didn’t trust easily, those dogs, and by the look of that boy he was the same way. Wary. Careful.

He gave it a week, at the least. By then, something would have to be done, and it would be easy - he was a policeman, after all. (A gun sat under the passenger seat of his car, bullets in the glove box. He’d loaded it a thousand times.) In any case, the boy was getting up to leave now. When the man didn’t follow, Kakashi allowed himself to relax, and, tossing his coffee away, left just behind the boy. He could feel the man’s eyes on his back, and a new feeling rose to replace the anxiety. Was it worry? Fear? Or something else entirely….

He knew. (In the kitchen, something is different. It is, after all, impossible to miss the keys on the kitchen table; impossible, since the only set of keys he owns is in his pocket. He isn’t stupid.

Sweeping them into his palm, he glances around the room again, sees nothing, and heads first to his bedroom, then to the shower. The water is so hot it is nearly scalding. Though he knows it’s a mistake, he leaves the bathroom door open and begins to undress.)

Kakashi quickened his step, anxious for the weight of his gun. The boy turned right, but Kakashi stopped at his car before following. He would approach the boy at his house, he decided. He would tell him he was a police officer, along with his suspicions (which were really so much more than that because they were true). The only uncertain factor was whether or not the boy would believe him, and when you got down to it, even that did not matter. The man would be taken care of just the same - telling the boy was simply a precaution. If he saw him again, it was a warning to be careful. To get away.

The boy’s house was down the street a ways, three, four blocks at least, but he didn’t notice Kakashi following him. The sidewalks were busy with people, and while this was an advantage at the moment, it also meant that if the man from the café followed him, the boy would be oblivious to him as well, right up to the moment he stepped into his house.

The building was small, beige, and looked just like the ones on either side of it but a little different. There were nasty thorn bushes in front of the windows Kakashi could see, and he smirked a little. The boy was smart, he would give him that. A good thorn bush had discouraged many a burglar, though he doubted it would do the same for a determined stalker. That man would find another way in, preferably before the boy had arrived home, so that he could be in place and waiting when he walked in the door.

(His skin is hot, and he shivers as he pads, naked but for his towel, to the dresser in his bedroom. There are knives hidden in the second drawer, and as he pulls on a pair of jeans, he slips one into his left palm. Though he doesn’t know it, this is the same feeling Kakashi gets when there is a gun in his hand. He feels safe. He feels powerful

Even so, he is careful moving down the hallway to the kitchen. The floor is wooden here, and it creaks sometimes under his weight. The last thing he wants is for the noise to alert whoever is in his house, to let them know he’s coming. Even with the knife he doesn’t feel as safe as he did, before his shower. It’s not so much a feeling as a gut instinct, a natural fear, but he feels that whoever in the house with him is everywhere -behind, in front, to each side. He knows this isn’t possible, of course, that he’s probably not in any danger at all and he’s simply being paranoid, but he can’t help it.

It’s instinct.)

Shaking off such thoughts, Kakashi dissociated himself from the people alongside him, each headed their own way, and came on to the boy’s lawn. The boy didn’t turn, didn’t give any sign he had noticed, and despite his admiration of the thorn bushes, Kakashi found himself a little disappointed. To not notice him at all…. (He could be excused for noticing while walking - the sidewalks were busy and ever-changing - but on his own property, with no one else around?)

“Who are you and why the fuck did you follow me home?”

Kakashi paused, a grin sliding onto his face. Maybe he’d underestimated the boy. No, he had.

“My name is Kakashi, canine police force. Do you have a minute?”

“Why’d you follow me home?” the boy repeated, pushing open the door and slipping his key into his pocket. When he turned, an expectant glare in his eyes, Kakashi was able to look him over. He was quite a bit shorter than Kakashi (though probably tall for his age - whatever that was) and his hair and eyes were stark black. He was pretty as well, in a peculiar, cold sort of way.

“I didn’t know where you lived,” Kakashi told him simply. “And I don’t think that what I have to tell you can wait.”

“Why not?”

“Well… it’s sort of important.” He grinned, than allowed the expression to fade, his voice growing serious as well. This boy wouldn’t listen to him otherwise, he knew. He would brush him off, slam the door in his face, and that would be that, he would think. “That man you talked with at the café, you should be careful of him.”

“Why?” Like every other word the boy spoke, this one came out harsh and clipped.

“I spent four years studying how the criminal mind works. Behavior patterns, attitudes and mannerisms. That guy might as well have pasted ‘stalker’ on his forehead. And you’ve seen him before, haven’t you?” A pause. “Probably a lot.”

“I’ve never seen him before in my life,” the boy snapped, eyes just transparent enough to see the lie.

“Right. Kid, I spent four years studying how the mind works - I just told you that.” his voice gentled. “It’s no good lying to me.” The boy glared, and Kakashi didn’t miss the way his knuckles bleached, muscles exerting effort and going nowhere. “Anyway,” he continued, “I came by to tell you that. Just… be careful, kid, alright? You haven’t seen what people like him do to their victims, have you?” The look in the boy’s eyes was answer enough, and Kakashi finished grimly: “You don’t want to. Believe me.”

He thought about describing it to the kid, to scare him (this was serious, couldn’t he see that? He didn’t think Kakashi was telling him the truth and it showed like a black stone in a cream pie), but decided against it. The kid had already turned, already gone into his house. The door was closing too, but Kakashi spoke quickly, his words doing the trick as easily as any physical gesture.

“What’s your name.”

A brief pause, then: “Sasuke.” And the door kept closing.

“And his?”

“Orochimaru. At least,” here his voice was a little sarcastic, a little would-you-like-me-to-take-a-polygraph-to-make-sure-I’m-not-lying, “that’s what he told me.”

The door shut in Kakashi’s face, and he said the name again under his breath, turning to go. “Sasuke….” It was a name he would remember for a long time, always heard in that clipped voice and followed by the name of the boy’s stalker. Orochimaru - another name he would not forget.

Back on the sidewalk, Kakashi glanced toward the house. He allowed himself the luxury of thinking - for a moment but no more - that he might be overreacting. That this Orochimaru wasn’t really stalking the boy at all. He had acted differently that most stalkers, after all, watching him brazenly, actually approaching him, talking to him, but Kakashi’s better judgment disagreed. Instinct told him that no matter how many times Orochimaru deviated from the set formula, he was still a stalker, still dangerous. No man who followed someone home, as Kakashi saw that Orochimaru had done (meanwhile ignoring the fact that he had done it himself), could be otherwise.

The man’s reflection, across the street with his hands in his pockets, was staring straight back at him, and, even at this distance, Kakashi could see how Sasuke had been so easily taken in. It was the man’s eyes. He couldn’t find the right word to describe them (captivating, entrancing, hypnotic), but they were somehow more alluring, more provocative than any woman’s. Kakashi hardly realized the man was moving until he heard footsteps just behind him, close enough to touch should he choose to. Unconsciously, he reached for his gun.

(A cool hand over his mouth, his body pulled against the owner. There is time enough for one half-breathed gasp and no more, and a man’s voice fills in the silence.

“Calm down, Sasuke-kun. That wasn’t very nice of you, you know, stealing my keys like that.”)

“Orochimaru,” Sasuke says, relaxing immediately. The hand slides from his mouth, coming to rest instead at the base of his neck. Though it strikes him as peculiar that Orochimaru should need to cover his mouth at all, he says nothing. He hands Orochimaru the keys he’d moved to his pants pocket with a smile that is half sheepish, half apologetic. “Here,” he says.

“And that knife in your other hand. Really, Sasuke-kun.”

Sasuke starts, recalling that, yes, there is a knife in his hand. To be completely honest, he had forgotten all about it. He gives it up, however, watching curiously as it disappears into Orochimaru’s palm. When next he sees that hand, it is empty.

(Slowly, he is giving up pieces of himself. That knife, which his brother had given him more years ago than he can remember, space in his house, his trust and the closest thing to friendship he’s ever known. Later on, he will give up to other, far more important things as well.)

Their eyes meet, and Sasuke finds himself in the same trap Kakashi was over three weeks ago, not knowing it. He is inexplicably falling, captivated to the point of temporary mindlessness. He’s never seen a gold so alluring before, or so hypnotic.

"And now your belt, Sasuke-kun.")

“Should I ask what you’re doing, or would you like me to go first?” The voice too was low, soft and almost teasing. Exactly what Kakashi had expected.

“I know what you’re doing here,” he answered, turning. Orochimaru smirked, but there was something undeniably sexual about his next words.

“Of course… but I haven’t done anything to him, have I?”

Say ‘yet’, Kakashi urged him. Say ‘yet’ so I can have a solid reason for arresting you on charges of planned assault, possibly rape. But he did not, as Kakashi knew he would not. Instead he smirked again, his voice becoming, strangely enough, almost cheery.

“Besides, he doesn’t trust you. You realize that, don’t you?”

Silent, Kakashi watched him chuckle, and then turn and walk away. He’s right, he thought. Sasuke doesn’t trust me. But he trusts him, and he’s dangerous as hell.

(So caught up in those golden eyes, Sasuke is actually undoing his belt before his mind intervenes, pleading reason. A stuttering “W-what?” is what comes out of his mouth, and Orochimaru smiles, as if the butchered word is exactly what he expected to hear.

“I asked for your belt, Sasuke-kun.”

“Why would you want my belt?” There is suspicion in his words, but if it not yet serious. At the moment it is the tone one friend might take with another, not a boy with a stranger, not a boy with his stalker.

Orochimaru chuckles. “Do I need to help you?” And to Sasuke’s surprise (shock, and horror), he begins to unbuckle it, his fingers brushing Sasuke skin ever now and then, as if by accident (some deep, instinctive part of him knows that it isn’t, not at all) but these accidents make Sasuke’s skin crawl. Orochimaru turns to lay the belt on the couch they are standing near, but seems to think better of it. It disappears, now, just like the knife, to become another piece of equipment he will summon when there is need. Sasuke, his back to the wall, watches this bit of magic. He does not realize that the best chance he will have to run has passed him by, or that he did not take it. He is too caught up. His mind, normally quick, is drawing only blanks. Though he doesn’t recognize it, the inability to thin rationally, or to think at all, is fear - not yet blind, but getting there.

His hands are shaking. They are empty.)


There were four Sasukes in the city, Tsunade said, they couldn’t cover all of them, and even if Kakashi did identify the right one, there was no evidence Orochimaru planned on doing anything anyway. After that she added that Kakashi was on leave, and that he shouldn’t have come in that day at all. And that was that. Nothing he could do.

(That wasn’t exactly true, actually. There were plenty of things he could do, though only one was legal and all would create more trouble than they solved.)

He was on patrol three weeks later when the call came. A concerned neighbor, nothing too suspicious, but Kakashi thought he recognized the street name, as if from some foggy memory. When he arrived at the house, his heart nearly stopped. Beige, small, just like the one on either side but a little different. Sasuke’s house. The boy himself was on the kitchen floor, made dead dead dead by a knife to the throat. He was oddly untouched; little evidence of mutilation but for that ugly gash across his neck.

(He shrinks from Orochimaru’s hands, mind blank until the older man leans down, mouth warm against his neck. It is then that he reacts, suddenly and violently, with strength born of adrenaline. He is certain he bruised Orochimaru’s ribs at the very least, perhaps he even cracked one with the fist he placed there, but the older man is stronger, and though Sasuke stops him for a bit, he gives way.)

And oh… there was blood, there was tile, it was dark and Kakashi wasn’t crying not at all.

(Sasuke briefly wishes he’d left the light on in the kitchen, but it’s much too late for anything now. Besides, he’s not so sure he wants to see Orochimaru, now that he thinks of it. His hands are doing things he doesn’t want to think about, doesn’t want to feel, and certainly doesn’t want to see at all, not in the least.)

“You’ve been a real idiot,” he said. “I asked you to believe me, that it.” His hands, steeped in blood, left crimson paths on Sasuke’s cheeks that resemble war paint, but to Kakashi’s eyes it is only terribly depressing. He could hardly believe how attached he had become to this self-doomed boy living all alone, black eyes pale skin and lovely, high cheekbones. He couldn’t believe that he felt so much for this boy, now dead, that he pulled him into his lap and wept.

(Sasuke isn’t weeping, though he wants terribly to do so, to simply break down and let the muted horror of all this crash from him. He doesn’t. When Orochimaru reaches for one of his performed magic tricks, the first one, the knife, Sasuke can only laugh.

He must be crazy, he thinks, to be laughing at a time like this, but strange situations have a way of bringing out the same in people. We’re just like that, he supposes (though he doesn’t know what ‘that’ is, really), and tilts his head back.

He doesn’t fight it. He’s made so many mistakes in his lifetime; this is simply one more, the final.)

“I asked you to trust me. Why didn’t you?”

(And darkness.)


Heavy Burden

A/N: A present for Anko, like my previous oneshot, this had to come out of my system or I'd burst.

This idea has been dancing inside my twisted mind, and I thought to myself: “What the hell, let's just do it!”. I did it, and now here we are!

Hope you enjoy this little drabble about the relationship between Anko and Kakashi.

Anko: Your're late! My birthday was like CENTURIES AGO?!

Prophet: Sorry!! I promise you'll like it ... hehe ... This one's better than the one I gave Kakashi!

Anko: Hope so!! Humph... Well let's see the thing then!!

Heavy Burden

Author: prophet320

That day everything seemed to be wrong, nothing good happened. Maybe this day is not that different from all the other days that I've lived this far...



This word means nothing to me... it only reminds me of lost years, of lost time, of lost life.

I'm 28 and still being tested like if I was a damn genin!


Once again I tried to be accepted as a genin teacher, Kurenai told me that maybe this year they would accept me, but guess what THEY REJECTED ME. They didn't even bother to read the damn papers in front of them, the moment they saw who I was, they sent my ass back to the Chunin Exams as a proctor.

FUCK THEM! Old farts, sitting on their asses gaining weight and wrinkles, who they think they are to judge me this hard? Haven't I proved my valor enough already?! FUCK THEM!! I DON'T CARE ABOUT THIS ANYMORE!

The only thing I care about right now, is SAKE and DANGO...

That was when I saw him, Mr. Aloof. Mr. “I'm too important to even look to people when they speak to me”, he was sitting at the dango shop with his nose stuck on his stupid porn book. AHHHH HE'S SOOOO ANNOYING!

- Two sake bottles! - I ask eagerly to the man behind the counter. - And all the dango you can get!

Maybe to forget, maybe to drown away, maybe to ease my burden, I drank and ate as much as I could without throwing up in front of anyone. They don't deserve to see that I get affected by stupid mean little people.

I don't know for how long I stayed there, at that dango stand, stuffing my head in alcohol and sugar. The only thing I knew, the only thing I felt that whole time, was my anger boiling inside me, my disgusting self-pity and his gaze burning the back of my neck.

Who the hell does he think he is? Can't they just leave me alone? FUCK THEM, maybe I should do what they expect me to do, at least I'd spare them the worry and uncertainty of my actions. Maybe I should just run off and become a missing-nin like Orochimaru, maybe... But I'm not giving them the satisfaction of seeing that they were right about me all this time, they don't even deserve that! FUCK THEM! FUCK HIM!!

I punched the table, got up wobbling dangerously, payed my bill and shot a scary glare to the silver haired ninja sitting next to me. He looked at me, and what I saw on the back of his eye made me feel strange, for the first time I feared something, I feared what that black eye told me.

I spun on my heels and stormed out the store.

Rain, it was raining outside.

Rain always brought back memories. Good and bad memories, but at least I could remember something!

I feel alive and dead...

Maybe staying in Konoha wasn't my brightest decision, they all hate me.

Everyone that once cared for me is either dead or is a S-class criminal murdering people for his own selfish purposes, maybe he never cared for me but who knows what that snake bastard had in his mind?

The memorial stone, I don't know why but my drenched and wobbling feet brought me here.

I didn't come here for a long time...

The name Mitarashi engraved there, remembers me of what it could have been, what I could have had.

A family...


A home... not a damn rented mouldy appartment, but a real home, with people waiting for my return and worrying about me.

War took that away from me!

Maybe that's the damn alcohol I took, but my fuzzy mind starts to show me flashes of my scarce memories of them.

My mouth is dry, but when I part my lips I feel something salty streaming down my cheeks.


Rain is not salty ... What?! No way ... It can't be ...

Crying?! I'm crying?! I still have tears to spill?

I don't cry since the day I left that bastard behind...

I'm weak, he was right! I'm too weak to even try to get stronger! FUCK HIM! I don't care about him anymore, he's just a ghost of my past and deserves no tears, no regrets. I should have killed him! But I'm fucking weak!! FUCK ME!!

I fall on my knees punching the soaked ground, punching the annoying stone that bares the name of those that have fallen on the line of duty. The names of my parents appear side by side, not even in death they stayed alone, what have I done to deserve an entire life alone, staring at an empty life and a fucking cold grey stone?

Something warm wrapped around me, something hot burned my skin.

-What happened, happened and there's nothing we can do about it. Now you just have to look forward and not let the past rule your present.

I felt someone hugging me, sheltering me from my ghosts, sheltering me from the cold reality, sheltering me from stupid people, sheltering me from myself. I looked up to see who it was and then shock hit me...

- Kakashi?

My mind spun a thousand miles per hour, I screamed to myself. “What the hell is happening here?”

-What the hell are you doing? Trying to molest me? - I tried to turn and face him, but his grip was too tight. He was holding me like if I was about to fall from a precipice, well, in a twisted kind of way I was. My entire fucking life was a big edgy bottomless precipice!

-I'll tell you something...

- Hnn. - I was too drained to even make a witty remark to him. He spun me, now I was facing his masked face and his caring black eye.

- You speak too much, Anko! - he lowered his mask and kissed me.

At first I resisted him, I didn't understand what was happening. Why Hatake Kakashi, Mr Aloof, Konoha's resident genius, why was he doing this?

But when he bit my lip, ravaging my mouth, I surrendered myself to him.

I delivered myself to him,

I gave myself to his all knowing calloused hands,

I plunged myself into his soft and starving lips,

For the first time in my life I became defenseless.

Not even the cold rain falling on us, not even the thunder that cut the sky, woke us from our world. A place where we were alone, a place where no Orochimaru existed, a place where no Akatsuki ruled, a place where we could stay like this forever.

But then it hit me,

Realization hit me harder, than that thunder.

I can't do this,

WE can't do this,

I can't afford him,

My shattered heart,

My shattered soul,

My cursed body,

Couldn't afford to carry him...

-Stop! - my heart broke, when I broke the embrace, when I broke the kiss.- I can't do this! I just can't. - all my resolution goes down the stream, washed away by the pouring rain, when I saw the look on your exposed face.

- Why, Anko?

The way you whispered my name, the way it traveled through the rain curtain, it made me shiver.

I can't do this and I can't do that!

I can't keep you, because I can't afford to have you.

I can't keep you away from me, because my heart and my body cries for you.

I have to do both, but I can't! I have too chose, DAMN CRUEL WORLD!


For the second time in my life, I made a hard choice...

- I can't carry you... - you looked at me, your mismatched eyes burning mine.

You came near me, and once again try to sooth me but I twitch and back away from you.

- Don't Kakashi, we can't... I can't... - I feel once again my warm tears streaming down my cheeks, I can't believe I'm crying again and in front of you.

I was so lost in my inner fight, that I forgot to run away from you, your warm embrace, once again, shielded me from the outside world and that scary look you gave me before, was back in your eyes, begging for an explanation...

- You're heavy! The heaviest of all my burdens!! I already carry too much... my parents, Orochimaru, Sandaime, the seal... - I looked at you, and you... you were... you were smiling.

You gently kissed my forehead, and then holding my chin so I had to look you in the eye you told me with that playful tone of yours.

- I'm here to help you carry your burden, so I guess I'm your present! - a clear laugh came from you, and I couldn't help but smile.

You kissed me once again, with all the passion you had and now I didn't back away.

Somehow I felt lighter around you, in your warm embrace...

Maybe after all, from now on, birthdays' will mean something to me.

Maybe, from now on, they'll have a brand new meaning... a good one!

A/N: Ok ppl, hope you enjoy this!! I loved to write it, although it was really hard to finish, and took me more time than the expected.. But well, here it is!!

You know the drill, READ AN REVIEW. Your kind (or not so kind!! .") words make me write faster, better and give you more chappies and goodies! HEHE


Girl Trouble chapter 4

Girl Trouble 4
Author: 4ng3legg

“C-chouji! Shikamaru!” Naruto said, standing up, “D-don’t do anything! It’s me—“
Chouji thrust a bag of chips into Naruto’s face, “Y-you can have the last chip!”
Naruto and Shikamaru gasped in astonishment. Chouji never let anyone have the last chip!
Naruto glanced at Hinata.
She was chewing on her nails anxiously, “T-take it, Hitomi. It would be impolite to refuse…”

“Y-yea… uh… t-thank you, Chouji…” Naruto’s hand shook as he reached into the bag and took out the last chip.
Normally the barbeque-flavored potato chip would have been delicious but Naruto felt terrible for fooling his good friend.
“How do you know my name?” Chouji asked as he crumpled the empty bag, “I’ve never met you before.”
Naruto swallowed the lump of food in his mouth, “S-sure you have!”
“No, I think I’d remember…”

Yelling voices reached Naruto’s ears, “She’s not over here, Izumo! Check over there!”
Naruto stifled a scream, “Help me!” He cried, jumping behind Chouji, “These weirdos are after me! I have to get to Old Lady Tsunade!”
Shikamaru’s eyebrows disappeared into his hair.
“Sure, we’ll help you.” Chouji said, “Right Shikamaru?”
Shikamaru nodded slowly, “Sure we will… what’s your name again?”

“Hotaru.” Naruto said.
“Hitomi!” Hinata barked.
“HITOMI!” Naruto blushed, “I… I’m just so… you know, nervous.”
“Chouji,” Hinata directed, “You go distract Jiraiya-sama. Shikamaru, you trap Kotetsu-san and Izumo-san. I’ll get Hitomi to the Hokage. Got it? Go!”
“Right, Hinata-chan!” Chouji jogged away to find Jiraiya.

“Hmm…” Shikamaru said, “Good luck, Hinata-chan. Naruto.”
“Yea, thanks.” Naruto said, grabbing Hinata’s hand, “See you, Shikamaru.”
“How did you figure it out?” Hinata asked with a laugh.
“Waitasecond!” Naruto said, finally realizing what Shikamaru had said.

“Haha – Naruto is the only person who calls Tsunade-sama, ‘Old Lady’.” Shikamaru grinned, “It’s a good thing I heard him, though. I was this close to doing some totally out of character.”
“Like what?”
“We don’t have time for this.” Naruto said, not wanting to hear what Shikamaru had almost done.
“Let’s just say Temari would not have been pleased.” Shikamaru laughed and walked off, “Don’t worry about Kotetsu-san and Izumo-san. I’ll get ‘em.”

“Did you notice, Naruto?” Hinata asked as they jogged towards the Administration Building, “Shikamaru didn’t do anything crazy!”
“But he said he didn’t do it because he’d realized it was you! That’s it, Naruto! If you tell all the guys that it’s you then they won’t chase after you anymore!” Hinata said.
“Maybe but they’d totally make fun of me!” Naruto whined, “And Neji and Kakashi would probably kick my ass for tricking them!”
“But you didn’t do it on purpose!”
I know that.” Naruto said, “But they don’t.”
“Then this whole situation is going to get crazier! And you won’t have anyone to blame but yourself.”

Naruto pulled Hinata into a dark alley.
“Why’re we stopping?” Hinata asked.
“Shh! I see Neji and Rock Lee up ahead.” Naruto muttered, “Neji has his back to us but I think Lee may have seen us.”
Hinata peeked out from behind the wall and saw Neji being pulled away by Tenten.
Lee was waved at them but his eyes were on Hinata!
Hinata ducked back, “Uh oh…”
“Come on, let’s go around this building.” Naruto ran down the alley to a gate and jumped over.
Hinata followed.

They made their way around the building and walked out the alley. Lee was no where to be seen.
“Whew.” Naruto sighed, “That was a close one.”
Two hands descended on both Naruto and Hinata’s shoulders from behind, “What are you doing?”
“Lee-kun!” Hinata gasped, “Y-you followed us!”
Lee looked at Hinata and then at Naruto, his already wide eyes growing wider.

“Is… is this the cousin I’ve been hearing about?”
Hearing about?” Naruto whispered.
“Neji can’t stop talking about her. Tenten-chan is not happy.” Lee said, “It’s so nice to meet you, Hitomi-chan. I’m Rock Lee!”
“N-nice to meet you.” Naruto said, pushing Lee’s hand off his shoulder, “I have to go.”
“Do you mind if I accompany you, Hinata-chan? Hitomi-chan?”
Yes.” Naruto muttered.
“T-thank you, Lee-kun,” Hinata smiled nervously, “You’re so polite.”

A sudden explosion made everyone jump and Naruto looked up to see Izumo and Kotetsu fiercely battling with Shikamaru on a rooftop.
“Kage Mane no Jutsu!” Shikamaru called as he sent his shadow out to connect to theirs.
“Get back Izumo!” Kotetsu yelled.
“Shit! He got me!” Izumo roared, “I’m stuck! Attack him, Kotetsu!”

Kotetsu wasn’t looking at Shikamaru anymore. He was staring down from the rooftop, “I see her, Izumo! She’s right down there with Hinata-chan and that fuzzy-brows-kid!”
Lee grimaced.
Izumo struggled harder against Shikamaru’s jutsu, “Help me get out of this, Kotetsu!”
Kotetsu pulled his gaze away from Naruto and looked at Izumo. He slowly smiled, “See you, Izumo!”

“What!? D-don’t leave me here like this!” Izumo screamed, “Kotetsu! KOTETSU!”
“Too late anyway!” Shikamaru cried, “Got you, too, Kotetsu-san!”
Kotetsu looked down and realized that when he’d been distracted by the beautiful Hitomi-chan, he’d been caught in Shikamaru’s jutsu.

“AHAHHAHAAH!” Naruto laughed, pointing at them, “Let’s see you get me now!” He shook his butt at them and smacked his hip, “Ooh! Yea, you want me but you can’t have me! Yea!”
“You’re freaking me out.” Hinata murmured.
“She’s even beautiful when she’s taunting us.” Izumo cried.
“She is! She is!” Kotetsu agreed.

Lee followed Hinata and Naruto as they made their way to the Administration Building.
“Why did you want to accompany us?” Hinata asked Lee.
“Eh? Oh, well, it’s just polite. Besides, Tenten dragged Neji off so I didn’t have anything to do.” Lee grinned, “Also – you two were so freaked out looking that I thought you might need some help.”

The sound of gigantic footsteps were heard and Hinata looked back to see a giant-sized Chouji holding Jiraiya in one hand and Kotetsu and Izumo in the other. A tired-looking Shikamaru was sitting on Chouji’s shoulder.
“Where are you taking us!?” Jiraiya yelled.
“Don’t worry, we’re not going to hurt you.” Shikamaru assured him, “We’re just gonna take you for a nice dip in a cold lake.”
“Hitomiiiiiii!!” Izumo called as Chouji drew father and farther away.

“So…” Naruto said as they continued walking, “You’re not attracted to me?”
Lee smiled, “Hitomi-chan, you are obviously a very beautiful girl. I’m not blind after all. But I cannot be attracted to you.”
“Why?” Hinata asked.
“I love another!” Lee said, “My beautiful Sakura-chan! She and only she holds the key to my mighty heart! YOSH!”

“Awesome!” Naruto said happily, giving Lee a pat on the shoulder, “You’re a good guy, Lee!”
“HAI! Thank you, Hitomi-chan! IT IS THE POWER OF YOUTH!” Lee roared.
“…” Naruto grinned nervously, “…right…”

“Ah, Hinata-chan! You’re finally here! Tsunade-sama is waiting for you.” Shizune called from the door of the Administration Building.
“Thanks for walking with us, Lee!” Naruto called, waving goodbye.
“No problem!” Lee called, “See you around!”
I sure hope not…” Naruto muttered.

“Are you sure it was a simple Henge?” Tsunade asked, peering into Naruto’s eyes, “I mean, if you say it made all the guys crazy.”
“Well, not quite.” Hinata said, “Shikamaru didn’t go crazy because he figured out it was Naruto.”
“Lee didn’t go crazy because he’s already crazy about Sakura-chan.” Naruto said as Tsunade squished his face between her hands, “Is that necessary?”
“Tch.” Tsunade sniffed, “I’m just trying to see if there is a way to make you ugly, Naruto.”
“Jealous?” Naruto said, chuckling.
“I won’t hesitate to smack you.” Tsunade warned, “In any case, I think I know what happened.”
“WHAT!?” Naruto and Hinata asked together.

“According to your story, Naruto, you’d been feeling sick?”
“Y-yea… but I’m not anymore.”
“No surprise. You probably had a virus. But it wasn’t just any sort of cold virus or flu virus. This virus attacked was attacking your chakra system.” Tsunade explained.
“M-my chakra system!? Am I going to die!?”
“Nah,” Tsunade chuckled, “But when you performed the transformation technique, the virus attacked more fiercely because your entire body structure was changing so it didn’t have the strength to fight off the virus. When your body finished the transformation, it attacked the virus and killed it but the virus left behind some side-affects. It wouldn’t allow you to return to your real form because it was attacking the chakra nerves that now resides near your chest and ovaries.”

“His ovaries!?” Hinata yelped.
“YEP! Right in the baby maker! Since your real form doesn’t contain ovaries, the virus wouldn’t allow you to change back. Anyway the jutsu won’t wear off until the virus dies completely. I’ll give you some medicine, Naruto, and the jutsu should wear off sometime tomorrow.” Tsunade smiled, “Ok?”
“B-but, Godaime-sama, that doesn’t explain why all the guys were going crazy!” Hinata said.

“Oh, that. Well, it seems that due to how hard, Naruto was working, he’d worked up quite a sweat. Am I right?”
“Yea – well, when you changed into a female, your body began releasing pheromones in mass quantities. Not to mention the Kyuubi heightens everything about you, Naruto. It made your pheromones EXTRA strong. That’s why Izumo and Kotetsu were the worst affected than anyone else. They met you when you still hadn’t taken a shower so they got a full blast of your pheromones, Naruto. After you cooled down in the shower, the pheromones reduced and that’s when you say you met Kakashi and Jiraiya.”

“But why were they acting so crazy? They didn’t get hit as bad as Kotetsu-san and Izumo-san.” Hinata asked.
“Tch – because those two are plain old perverts.” Naruto answered.
Tsunade laughed, “Probably, yea.”
“And Neji-niichan? He was acting pretty weird.”
“Closet pervert.” Naruto said.

“I suppose that also explains why Chouji-kun, Shikamaru-kun and Lee-kun were almost normal when you met them.” Hinata pointed out, “They weren’t hit as hard as Izumo-san and Kotetsu-san.”
“Ok, boys and girls. That ends our Q and A session! Let me give you your medicine, Naruto and you can be on your way.” Tsunade said, walking to the door, “Just keep out of sight of Izumo and Kotetsu. Those poor guys don’t need anymore torturing.”

When she returned, Tsunade watched Naruto to make sure he took the full dose of medicine.
“Yech.” Naruto said, shaking his head, “I’m gonna need some ramen to get this terrible taste out of my mouth…”
“Anyway, Naruto,” Tsunade said, “You said you could perform your jutsus fine after the Henge?”
“Yea, I just couldn’t return to my normal body.”
“Well, I already explained that, blondie – you were stuck in a female body but Naruto?”
“Why didn’t you just henge into an ugly girl?”

“Naruto, I think it’s okay if you return to your own apartment now.”
“Nope! I’m not leaving your side until I’m back to my old self.” Naruto said, snuggling down into the Hinata’s bed, “Comfy!”
“Then maybe I should sleep in a guest bedroom.”
“Not on your life, Hinata!” Naruto said, pulling her into the bed, “You’re stayin’ riiiiight here.”
He nuzzled her hair, “Don’t worry. I’m not going to try anything.”
Sure enough, within minutes, Naruto was sound asleep.

The Next Morning

Naruto awoke with a start.
He sat up and looked around the room groggily.
“Where am I?”
Beside him, Hinata slept peacefully.

“Oh yea…” Naruto swung his legs off the bed and stood up. He stretched and shuffled sleepily towards Hinata’s bathroom.
It was still dark and Naruto fumbled around for the light switch. Finally, he found it, shuffled to the toilet and unzipped.
It wasn’t until he was washing his hands that he realized he had his dick back.
Two seconds later he was back in bed.

Hinata felt warm.
Unbearably warm.
She felt hands. Hands on her breasts and her stomach.
Hands that were touching and rubbing and…

Hinata’s eyes flashed open, “W-what…?”
“Shh shh…” Naruto murmured.
“Naruto!” Hinata hissed angrily, “I said I didn’t want to…!”
“You said you like dick.” Naruto murmured into her ear. He pressed himself against her back.

“N-naruto…” Hinata gasped. The body pressed against her was definitely not that of a woman!
“Must have changed back while we were asleep.” Naruto whispered before he kissed the skin beneath her ear, “I remembered what you said.”
Hinata shivered at the feel of his warm breath on her skin.
“Do you remember what I said?” Naruto said against her skin.
“W-what?” Hinata whispered.
“No… sleep… for… you…”

He pulled her onto her back and leaned over her, “And right now, you’re wearing way too many clothes… let’s fix that problem!”
Hinata giggled when Naruto’s large, cool hands slid beneath her sleeping shirt, “Ohh… your hands are cold.”
“All the better to tease you with.” He laughed before he began licking her collarbone. His cool fingers found her breasts, causing her nipples to harden instantly.
“Oh!” Hinata moaned loudly.
“Shh, shh…” Naruto murmured, “We’re in your house full of your male relatives.”

“T-they’ve got to be… uh… s-sleeping…” Hinata whispered as his clever hands made shambles of coherent thoughts.
“I thought I heard footsteps…” Naruto said, lifting his head, “Did you…?”
“Don’t stop!” Hinata whispered, pulling him back down, “Anyway, I didn’t hear a thing…”
Naruto grinned.

Hinata pulled him closer, her hands pushing up his shirt impatiently.
Naruto sighed when he felt her hands on the skin of his back.
Hinata made a noise of protest when one of his hands left her breast.
She moaned when the rogue hand slid between their bodies and moved to push down her thin pajama bottoms. Her fingernails dug into his back.

Suddenly Hinata heard the footsteps Naruto had mentioned earlier.
“N-naruto!” She whispered hurriedly as she shoved him off of her, “Run!
“W-what?” Naruto struggled to understand what had just happened.
Suddenly the door exploded and Neji stood in the midst of the splints. The veins around his eyes testified to his Byakugan being active, “NAAAARUUUUTOOO!!”

The End.

Hope you all enjoyed! And I sure hope that my explaination made sense:P

So before I go I wanted to ask ya'll a favor:

I want to do a fanfic starting the story from the beginning but making everything steampunk.
For more information visit my userpage. I'd like to collab with someone but if not collab, than I definately wouldn't mind someone to bounce ideas off of


Girl Trouble chapter 3

Girl Trouble 3

Author: 4ng3legg

When Naruto woke up he realized two things. 1 - He was still a girl and 2 - He was in Hinata’s bedroom.
Alone, it seemed.
Naruto sat up in Hinata’s bed and looked around. His forehead hurt.
Hinata had used the same trick he’d used on Izumo.

Then Naruto realized a third thing – someone was nearby.
Naruto kept still and tried to listen carefully.
There was definitely the sense of chakra nearby.
Outside the room, Naruto realized – in the hall!

“NEJI!” Hinata’s voice roared from the hall, “You pervert! You’re terrible! Stop spying on Hitomi while she’s sleeping!”
Muffled voices.
A scuffle.
Neji finally yelled, “FINE!” Footsteps stomping away.

The door opened and Hinata walked in, carrying a tray of food, “Oh, you’re awake!”
“If I hadn’t been, I would have woken up after hearing you and Neji.”
Hinata grinned, “He was using his Byakugan to spy on you.”
Naruto gasped and covered his chest with his arms.
“That… doesn’t really help.” Hinata said, her grin widening, “But he’s gone now. So come and eat some breakfast and we’ll go to the Hokage’s office the second you’re done.”
Naruto didn’t need to be told twice.

Ten minutes later found the two leaving the Hyuuga House.
“Do you need someone to accompany you?” Neji asked when they walked outside the main gate. He’d been waiting there.
“No.” Naruto said, still embarrassed to have been oogled by the supposed genius.
“Besides, you’re supposed to be training with me today!” Tenten marched up to Neji, “What’s your problem? Asking Hinata-chan and… and…” Tenten stared at Naruto.

“Who. Is. This?” She asked slowly, casting Neji a dark look.
“This is my cousin, Tenten-chan. Her name is…”
“Oh!” Tenten interrupted, “Oh… okay… then she’s your cousin, Neji?”
“No.” Neji answered, “She’s Hinata’s cousin from her mother’s side. We’re not related at all.”
Naruto laughed, “Wrong answer, genius boy.”

Tenten was glowering at Neji, “So… what? Do you like her or something?”
Naruto coughed and stepped back, “This isn’t any of my business. I have an appointment to keep. Come on, Hinata. Before Tenten pulls out her scrolls.”

“I’m really surprised at you, Naruto.” Hinata said. She held his hand but only barely.
“All these guys after you. I’m surprised you haven’t Kage-Bunshin’d the lot of them! Or Rasen Shuriken’d them all.” Hinata laughed, “Isn’t that what you would usually do?”
“Tch.” Naruto shrugged, “Look – I’m stuck in a jutsu that I have no idea how to stop. If I pulled out my well known jutsus then everyone would know it was me and they’d all laugh at me for not being able to release a stupid jutsu. I’d be humiliated!”
“Besides,” Naruto said reasonably, “I can understand why they’re after me. I mean, look at me, Hinata. I’m gorgeous.”
Hinata laughed.

“You are gorgeous!” Inuzuka Kiba said.
“Oh, jeez.” Naruto moaned.
“Who are you?”
Hinata sighed, “Cousin Hitomi, I’d like you to meet my teammate, Inuzuka Kiba and his nin-dog, Akamaru. Kiba, this is my cousin, Aoki Hitomi.”
Kiba stared at Naruto for the longest time.
“W-what?” Naruto said finally.

“You smell strange.” Kiba said bluntly, “Like… Naruto but… also like Hinata.”
Naruto’s eyebrows rose, “What?”
“It’s her clothes.” Hinata said, “Hitomi-chan is very clumsy and this morning she fell into a puddle of mud. Naruto’s apartment was nearby so we asked him for some clothes because we didn’t have time to stop at my house.”
“Oh…” Kiba shook his head, “Huh.”
Akamaru barked at Naruto and nudged his hand.

Naruto pet the huge dog, “Nice dog.”
“We have to get going.” Hinata said, pulling Naruto, “Bye Kiba.”
“I’ll walk with you!” Kiba said, walking beside Naruto, “Akamaru really seems to like you, Hitomi-chan. He’s a really good judge of character.”
Akamaru barked and wagged his tail.

“He says if you want, you can ride on top of him.” Kiba translated.
“No – that’s fi-AYYAAAHHH!!” Naruto screamed as Akamaru shoved him from behind, throwing him up into the air and caught him on his back.
“What’s the big idea!?” Naruto cried, clutching the dog beneath him.
“Wow! Akamaru must really like you, Hitomi-chan. The only people he allows to ride on his back are me and people he’s known his entire life… Hinata… Shino… Naruto…”

Kiba jumped up behind Naruto and grabbed his hips.
Naruto twitched, “W-well thanks, Akamaru but my legs work fine. I can wa-AARGGHH!!”
Akamaru took off into a run.

“Isn’t this great!?” Kiba yelled over the sound of the wind rushing over them, “Akamaru never lets me bring girls along for the ride. You must be something special, Hitomi-chan!”
Naruto couldn’t talk. The wind was shoving him backwards into Kiba’s embrace.
Kiba’s fingers were digging into his hips. And Kiba was talking directing into Naruto’s ear.
“We should definitely go out sometime, Hitomi-chan!” Kiba said as his hands slid over Naruto’s thighs.
“Noooo!” Naruto screamed, “STOP AKAMARU! STOOOOP!”

The huge dog stopped and Naruto jumped off, “I’ve got to go but later I’m gonna kick your ass, dogboy!” He roared, “Grabbing all over me! Jeez! That is not the way to treat a girl!”
Kiba stared at the beautifully livid girl, “Wow…”
“SHUT UP! If I ever see you do that to another girl I’ll neuter you, do you hear me?” Naruto yelled, “I’m gonna be traumatized for years after this!”
Naruto stomped away, searching for Hinata.

“Do you need me to teach little Kiba a lesson?”
Naruto shuddered.
Kakashi had suddenly appeared and was standing way too close to Naruto for comfort.
“What is it with you guys?” Naruto asked, “Haven’t you heard of personal space!?” He shoved Kakashi away, “Leave me alone!”

Kakashi was utterly confused – for several reasons.
He’d never been rejected by a girl before. One look at him and girls were dying for him to get near. Then despite his hearing perfectly well that Hitomi wanted to be left alone, there was something about her that made him not listen.

“You’re right, Hitomi-chan.” Kakashi said, catching up to Naruto, “I’ve been way too forward with you. I’m sorry. I just can’t control myself around your ethereal beauty!”
He grabbed Naruto’s hand, twirled him around and caught him.
One kiss and Hitomi would be all his!
Kakashi tugged at the mask over his face.

Naruto stopped yelling and stared. He’d never seen Kakashi’s face beneath the mask!
And now, finally, after a bazillion attempts to see the mysterious face, here it was!
‘Kakashi-sensei is finally going to show me his true face…’ Naruto thought, ‘In order to… KISS ME!’

Naruto screamed and shoved the butt of his palm up into Kakashi’s face.
He thought he heard a sickening crack.
Blood poured from Kakashi’s broken nose and the Jounin collapsed onto Naruto.

“Naruto!” Hinata cried out, running to them, “What did you do to Kakashi-sensei!?”
“I think I killed him!” Naruto cried. He shoved his unconscious teacher off of him and onto his back, “I didn’t mean to!”
“I’ll go get a medical-nin!” Hinata said just before she disappeared.
“Kakashi-sensei! Kakashi-sensei!” Naruto called, patting his face, “Wake up! Don’t die!”

“Move out of the way!”
Naruto looked up, “S-sakura-chan!”
Sakura shoved him aside and pulled Kakashi’s mask off his face.
There it was!
Naruto stared. It was still an obstructed view! There was too much blood!

Sakura placed her hands over Kakashi’s face and used her medical jutsu to heal his nose.
“He should be fine…” Sakura said, relieved.
“Whew!” Hinata said.
“Wow, look at all this blood.” Sakura said, “You really socked him one good!” She looked at Naruto, “Whoever you are!” She pulled out a small box from her pouch and from there, pulled out a damp one-time use towel. She began cleaning off Kakashi’s face, “So why’d you knock him out?”
“He was getting too close.” Naruto said distractedly.
The face was coming into view!

Kakashi groaned as Sakura wiped off the last of the blood, “W-what happened…?”
“This girl knocked you out!” Sakura laughed, “She broke your nose!”
Kakashi sat up, leaning on his hands. He looked at Hitomi.
Naruto looked at him.
What an anticlimactic turn of events!’ Naruto thought, dismayed, ‘Kakashi is normal-looking under that stupid mask!’

Kakashi was never one to miss an opportunity to attack when an opponent was distracted.
He grabbed Naruto by the scruff of his shirt and kissed him.
“Oh my!” Sakura said.
“Uh oh.” Hinata said.
Naruto shoved him away, “DAMMIT! DIDN’T YOU LEARN THE FIRST TIME, DUMBASS!?” He punched Kakashi in the face, effectively knocking him out again.
“At least you didn’t break his nose!” Sakura said smiling, “He’ll have one hell of a headache when he wakes up.”
“GOOD!” Naruto barked as he stomped away.

“WILL IT NEVER END!?” Naruto cried as Kotetsu tackled him to the ground.
“You’re just as beautiful today as you were yesterday!”
“And you’re just as annoying!” Naruto said. He jumped up and turned, only to find Izumo was blocking him, “I FORGIVE YOU!” Izumo cried as he clutched Naruto around the waist, “You must have been afraid of your strong feelings for me to have knocked me out!”
Naruto struggled to get out of Izumo’s grip but the man was disturbingly strong.

“Ha! She doesn’t like you! She knocked you out!” Kotetsu said as he tried to pull Izumo from Hitomi.
“She does too like me! She kissed me!” Izumo argued. He nuzzled Naruto’s stomach.
“YOU KISSED HIM?” Kotetsu asked, astonished.
“Izumo-san! Kotetsu-san!” Hinata called, “You mustn’t treat Hitomi-chan so roughly! She’s very delicate!”

“Who’s delicate?” Sai asked, standing beside Hinata, “What’s going on?”
“HELP ME!” Naruto cried as he tried to pry Izumo off, “He’s… crushing… me!”
“Who is that?” Sai asked, watching the struggle with interest.
“My cousin.” Hinata sighed.

“Hmm…” Sai said, “I wonder why Kotetsu-san and Izumo-san are clutching onto such an ugly girl.”
“UGLY!?” Kotetsu and Izumo cried out, “Are you stupid?”
“ARE YOU STUPID AND BLIND!?” Jiraiya appeared, “This girl is GORGEOUS!”
He, too, joined the struggle to pull Izumo off.

Sai peered at Naruto, “Kind of stupid looking to me.”
Naruto grimaced. He didn’t know whether to be offended or pleased that at least one of the guys wasn’t drooling all over him.
“Would you rather have them clutching onto you?” Naruto asked, grabbing Sai’s shirt, “The Act of Switching Technique!

Suddenly, Izumo found himself clutching Sai’s waist, “EHH!”
“HIIIITOOOOMIIII!” Izumo cried, shoved Sai away.
“Where’d she go!?” Kotetsu asked, pushing Izumo to the ground, “She was just here!”
“She’s escaped!” Jiraiya said, stepping on Izumo’s back, “I’ve got to find her!”

Hinata found herself being dragged along as Naruto ran through the village.
“There hands… were all over me!” Naruto cried as he ran, “And Izumo… he… his face…”
“Maybe it’s a part of the jutsu…” Hinata said, “Maybe it makes men go crazy.”
“I think I would have remembered putting that into the jutsu, Hinata! I just did a simple Henge!”
Naruto cried out as he ran straight into a solid mass.

He stumbled backwards and fell to the ground.
Hinata managed to stay on her feet, “Chouji-kun! Shikamaru-kun!”
“What’s going on? Why’re you running, Hinata-chan? And who is this?” Chouji asked.
“How troubleso-“ Shikamaru stopped and stared at Naruto, “Wow.”

So a gigantic thank you to ShyTan'ith for pointing out that 'Hitomi', when said outloud, sounds like 'Hit on me'.
That's so great. I hadn't even noticed that. Merely introducing herself, Hitomi is asking for trouble! Ha!

And now Naruto is beginning to fight back. Poor Kakashi. But at least he got his kiss!

And what's with Sai?
He seems to genuinely believe the girls are all ugly. What's up with that?

Oh I made up 'The Act of Switching' jutsu. It's a pretty useless jutsu if you think about it, because you seem to need to be able to touch the person you're switching with but in this situation, I find it appropriate.

Apparently, I find the need to add more chapters.
What'll happen next time!? Only time will tell...