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Monday, February 7, 2011

Karangan Gaje Anak-anak Konoha

Indonesian

Karangan Gaje Anak-anak Konoha
Author: Ve Rhou name-A

Disclaimer: punya sapa ya? punya saia bukan? *di mutilasi om Masashi Kishimoto* nyehehe
warning: banyak kegajean, banyak typo, dan masih banyak cacad dmna-mana =_=


Hari ini seperti biasanya lagi, sekolah, sekolah dan sekolah. "Huufftt." Aku mengehela napas pelan sambil terus berjalan ke arah kelas.

"Teme... kenapa kau terlihat lesu sekali?" suara berisik seseorang yang sangat kukenal. Suara seorang cowok pirang bermata saphire dan memiliki tiga goresan horizintal di masing-masing pipinya.

"Aku tidak lesu, dobe. Dan hentikan tatapan anehmu itu."

"Memangnya kenapa? Aku sedang stres teme. Hari ini ada ujian lagi dari kakashi-sensei." Jawab Naruto sambil terus menatapku dengan pandangan Tolong-Bantu-aku-Saat-Ujian-Nanti-Ya-Sasuke-Tampan. Ok, jangan muntah dulu, kata terakhir memang terlalu hiperbola.

"Kau kan bisa minta bantuan Gaara atau Shika. Kenapa selalu aku, dan hentikan memasang wajah cemberutmu itu. Tidak akan mempan padaku, dobe."

"Huuh...Kau tidak keren Teme."

JLEEEB

Perkataan si dobe ini terlalu menusuk ke jantungku. Apa benar aku tidak keren? Ah, bohong. Buktinya aku masih tetap tampan. Sakura, Ino dan Karin masih tetap memujaku kan? Tapi kenapa mereka tidak seagresif dulu ya? Ah, tidak. Itu mungkin karena hasutan Sai, si seribu wajah. Sial, dia mencuri semua fan's girl milikku.

"me..."

"te..me.."

"TEME...!" Teriakan Naruto sedikit menyadarkan Sasuke dari lamunan anehnya. Dengan cekatan dia segera memasukan cermin tangan ke dalam saku celanya.

"Hn...ada apa dobe?"

"Kau benar-benar tidak sakit kan? Wajahmu aneh teme. Sedikit-sedikit kaget lalu berubah jadi agak histeris kemudian narsis dan kemudian jadi~...Ouch... kenapa kau memukulku teme? Tidak sopan."

"Kau yang tidak sopan, dobe. Memandangku seenaknya." jawab Sasuke sekenanya, kemudian masuk ke dalam kelas tanpa mempedulikan teriakan Naruto yang histeris.

"Baiklah anak-anak, kalian sudah tau kan hari ini adalah hari ujian untuk kalian. Sekarang buat karangan pendek tentang pendapat kalian seaindainya menjadi missing-nin." perkataan kakashi-sensei sontak membuat kelas riuh.

"OSH...! aku akan berusaha menjadi missing-nin yang hebat sensei. Masa mudaku sedang bergelora sensei.. Uwoooo...!"

"Kenapa harus menjadi Missing-nin. Aku ingin menjadi hokage sensei. Aku ini calon hokage hebat"

"Hn, diamlah dobe. Kau berisik."

"Sensei tidak seru ah. Benarkan Akamaru?"

"Guk."

"Benarkan Shika?"

"zzzzzzzz..."

"Akamaru gigit shika."

"GUK..."

"Menjadi missing-nin? Bagaimana menurutmu Gaara?"

"Aku tidak peduli."

"Benarkah? Bagaimana kalau aku yang menjadi missing-nin?"

"Aku lebih tidak peduli lagi."

"Kau terlalu dingin Gaara."

"Dan kau terlalu berisik, Neji"

"Huh, aku lebih suka memakan kripik ku di bandingkan buat karangan, benarkan Sai?"

"..."

"Apa kau lebih suka membuat karangan Sai?"

"..."

"Bukannya kau lebih suka menggambar?"

"..."

"Kalau kau tersenyum terus saat aku bertanya, aku akan benar-benar memakanmu hidup-hidup. Mukamu membuatku kelaparan."

"...!"

"Ino, bagaimana ini? Aku tidak pintar membuat karangan."

"Aku juga sakura..."

"Lalu kita harus bagaimana?"

"Entahlah..."

"..."

"..."

"Ino.."

"Apa Sakura?"

"Kuku bagus tidak? Aku mewarnainya dengan warna emas."

"Wah, cantik sekali. Aku juga mau Sakura."

"ano... uhmm.. Karin... ide karanganmu bagaimana?"

"jangan nyontek."

"Uhhmm.. bukan.. anoo.. itu... maaf."

"..."

"..."

"ano... uhmm.. Karin.. ide karanganmu bagaimana?"

"Jangan nyontek, Hinata!"

"ah... ano.. maaf.."

"..."

"..."

"Ano... uhmmm.. Karin.. ide kar-Hmmmpphhh~.."

"Nah, akhirnya kalau kau ku ikat begini tidak akan menggangguku lagi. Bagus.."

Setelah 2 jam berlalu, seluruh karangan murid-murid di kumpul. Kakashi-sensei yang bertugas memeriksa mulai membaca satu-satu hasil karangan dari anak didiknya itu. Kakashi mulai memeriksa karangan dari Sakura dan Ino.

By Sakura

Jika aku menjadi missing-nin, aku akan keliling dunia, mencuri semua tas dan baju mahal. Kemudian merampok uang dan berfoya-foya dengan sasuke sebagai budakku.. hohohoho...

By Ino

Jika aku menjadi missing-nin, aku akan mengikuti jejaknya sakura. Kemudian berfoya-foya dengan Sai sebagai budakku hohohoho...

Kalian tidak kreatif ya? Pikir Kakashi, kemudian beralih ke kertas yang lain.

By Choji

Seandainya aku Missing-nin, aku akan makan makanan gratis tanpa perlu membayar. Aku rasa akan mentraktir seluruh teman-temanku. Kakashi-sensei ku ajak apa tidak ya? Dia merepotkan sih.

Yang lebih merepotkan itu kamu Choji, bantah Kakashi dalam hati.

By Sai

Jika aku menjadi Missing-nin, berharap saja Konoha masih ada, soalnya aku akan memporak porandakan desa ini dengan keahlianku.

Kau dendam apa sih dengan konoha? Dan Kakashi cuma bisa geleng-geleng kepala.

By Rock Lee

Jika aku menjadi missing-nin aku akan bersemangat membuat kehacuran di dunia ini. Lihatlah Guy-sensei aku akan membuatmu bangga. Uwoooo... semangat masa mudaku membara...

Kau itu selalu bersemangat ya, membuatku merinding. Dan firasat Kakashi mulai buruk.

By Kiba

Seandainya aku adalah missing-nin, aku dan akamaru akan pergi dari konoha dan itu pasti membuat kami sangat sedih... benarkan akamaru? Guk...

tidak dapat bermain dengan teman-teman lagi, kau juga tidak dapat bermain lagi akamaru, kau sedih? Guk...

Jadi, kakashi-sensei tolong jangan buat kami jadi missing-nin.. kau juga memohon dong akamaru.. GUK!

Apa-apaan ini? Kenapa banyak gonggongan anjing, dan lagi kenapa harus aku yang membuat kau jadi missing-nin. Kakashi mulai emosi.

By Gaara

Jika aku menjadi missing-nin, aku tidak peduli. Jika kau bertanya kenapa aku tidak peduli akan ku jawab bukan urusanku. Dan jika kau makin bingung dengan jawabanku, akan kukatakan AKU TIDAK PEDULI.

Aku lebih tidak peduli padamu Gaara. Dan hari itu jadilah kakashi memberikan nilai nol besar untuk Gaara.

By Neji

Jika aku menjadi missing-nin, aku akan terus menculik cowok disebelahku ini. Cowok pengendali pasir yang sangat imut. Ahh.. aku kangen saat dia mencambukku dengan cambuk pasirnya, memukuliku hingga berdarah-darah... ah, sungguh romantis...

Apanya yang romantis? Kenapa karangannya jadi begini? Aku menyuruhnya membuat karangan missing-nin kenapa berubah menjadi karangan SM mesum begini. Hari itu, nilai Neji sama dengan nilai Gaara yang di sayanginya... sungguh romantis bukan?

By Shikamaru

Jika aku menjadi Missing-nin, hanya satu kata yang dapat kukatakan "zzzzzzzzzzz..."

Hei..hei..shika.. bangun... bahkan dalam karanganpun kau mengabaikanku dan tidur. Kakashi hanya bisa pasrah pada muridnya yang satu ini.

By Hinata

Jika aku menjadi missing-nin, uhhmm.. apa ya? Apa yang harus kulakuakan jika aku menjadi missing-nin? Maaf, sensei... aku tidak tahu apa yang harus kulakukan kalau aku menjadi missing-nin... uhmm.. menurut sensei, apa yang harus kuperbuat?

Kenapa malah bertanya padaku? Kau memang tidak berbakat Hinata. Dan akhirnya karangan Hinata bergabung dengan karangan Gaara dan Neji.

By Karin

Jika aku menjadi missing-nin, yang pertama kali kulakukan adalah bergabung dengan Sasuke. lalu berdua kami akan menaklukan dunia. Memusnahkan seluruh fan's girlnya Sasuke. hahahahaha

Otakmu sudah benar-benar eror ya Karin? Ck..ck..ck . Kakashi-sensei geleng-geleng kepala.

By Sasuke

Jika aku menjadi missing-nin, yang kulakukan pertama kali adalah pergi dari Konoha, mengatur siasat untuk menculik dobe di sebelahku ini. Membuat Konoha gempar karena calon hokagenya ku culik dan kutawan di sebuah rungan yang sudah kudesain dengan romantisnya. Saat dia bertanya apa yang akan kulakukan padanya, saat itulah aku akan menatap matanya, mengatakan padanya untuk melihat ke dalam mataku betapa selama ini aku selalu menyayanginya dan mencintainya sepenuh hatiku. Saat dia berteriak padaku kalau ini tidak benar dan aku gila, aku akan membungkam teriakannya dengan bibirku.

Walaupun dia berusaha berontak, aku akan terus mencengkramnya, memaksanya untuk mencintaiku juga, dan tersenyum sinis padanya bahwa aku tidak suka di tolak.

Sepertinya akan menarik, batin Kakashi dalam hati. Kakashi mulai membaca lagi karangan anak didiknya yang satu ini.

Apa karangan ini menarik sensei? Tentu saja, karena ini adalah penggalan salah satu drama yang kutonton. Tinggal kuubah namanya saja. Ck..ck..ck... kasian sekali sensei ku yang satu ini pasti sudah berharap bahwa akan berubah menjadi cerita icha-icha paradise, seharusnya otak sensei harus di bersihkan dulu sebelum membaca karanganku. Sensei memang tidak ada kerjaan, sudah tau dihina oleh muridnya sendiri masih saja tetap membaca tulisanku.

Kurang ajar! Semua Uchiha memang brengsek. Dan Kakashi menghentikan acara membaca karangan Uchiha muda satu ini, dan menumpuk karangannya di bagian karangan Gaara, Neji dan Hinata.

Kemudian Kakashi mulai membaca karangan dari Naruto, tiba-tiba wajahnya langsung berubah menjadi horor, dengan tangan gemetar dia langsung memberi Naruto nilai 100 pada karangannya.

"Yey... lihat teme, nilai karanganku dapat 100. nilai sempurna." teriak Naruto pada Sasuke yang berada disebelah yang juga melihat nilainya terpampang di papan pengumuman. Kenapa? Kenapa nilaiku kalah dengan si dobe ini? Kenapa tuhan?

"Dobe... sebenarnya apa yang kau lakukan hingga bisa mendapat nilai sempurna? Kau curang?"

"Teme, hentikan menatapku dengan pandangan mencurigai seperti itu. Aku ini jujur." jawab Naruto dengan cengiran bodohnya.

-di tempat lain-

"Iruka...iruka..."

"Ada apa Kakashi-sensei? Kenapa kau menggedor-gedor pintu UKS keras begini? Ada apa~ Ouch... kenapa memelukku erat begini? Aku sesak napas.."

"Aku khawatir padamu. Kau tidak apa-apakan? Naruto tidak berbuat apa-apa padamu kan?"

"Memangnya ada apa sih? Aku tidak apa-apa. Jangan memutar-mutar tubuhku, kepalaku jadi pusing.."

"Aku hanya memeriksamu saja."

"Memeriksa? Memangnya ada apa?"

"Coba lihat kertas ini."

By Naruto

Jika aku menjadi Missing-nin, aku akan mengancam Kakashi-sensei dan memaksanya untuk memberikan nilai 100 pada karanganku kalau tidak? Aku akan menculik Iruka-sensei kemudian menyodok-nyodok pantatnya dengan kemoceng.

owari

Caller_IDK

English

Caller_IDK
Author: Orange Sherbet

"You know you want to," Ino smirked.

"No, Mrs. Piggy, I don't. Put that thing away before you hurt someone."

The blond rolled her eyes, beyond annoyed at how persistent Sakura was being. She didn't get what her problem was-they always did this kind of shit when they were genin. Just because Sakura was all 'I the High and Mighty Tsunade's apprentice bitch' didn't mean they could have fun!

"Sakura, take the phone. You know you want tooooo~" Ino sang, sounding slightly more drunk then she had been when Sakura had found her waiting on her front porch.

"I think you need some coffee."

"I think you-hic-need to get laid."

Sakura rolled her eyes. "I am not going to prank call people with you!" She declared heatedly, crossing her arms over her chest in a sign of clear refusal. Hell to the no!

Ino chuckled darkly, sounding exactly the the evil psycho blond she was.

"If you don't, I'll tell Tsunade about your little-escapade with that shinobi back in Mist."

"You malicious bitch. Burn in Hell!"

"Only if you-hic-come with me! Now-" She shoved the aforementioned ninja-cell in Sakura's face, "Dial up!"

o

()Deidara()

o

"Hello, un?"

"You kicked my cat."

"Da fuck?"

"You KICKED my CAT. BITCH!"

"I didn't touch your fucki-"

"YOU KICKED MY CAT! YOU KICKED MY CAT!"

"WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM, UN?"

"YOU KICKED MY CAT! YOU KICKED MY-"

"I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO YOU ARE!"

"DON'T LIE TO ME, FUCKER! I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE!"

"I'LL BLOW YOU UP, UN!"

"OOO~I'M SOOO SCARED!"

"YOU-"

"Un."

"...what did you just say?"

"Un. Do you have a problem with that, un?"

"You're mocking me, un."

"I'm doing no suck thing, un."

"Stop it!"

"Stop it!"

"I'LL COME THROUGH THIS PHONE AND RIP YOUR FUCKING THROAT OFF, UN!"

"No need to get violent. Geez."

"..."

"Un."

"BI-"

"By the way, I'm pregnant with your child. We're naming it Bubba, okay?"

"WTF?"

"Nice talking to you! TTYL!"

The line went dead.

Deidara shook his head and hung up the phone.

"There's some fucked up people in this world."

o

()Sasuke()

o

"Hn?"

"Hello, sir! Congratulations, you are about to be the proud winner of two free cruise tickets!"

"...Sakura? What the hell are you doing?"

"Remember, mam', this interview is live on 96.8, the ONLY ALL POP RADIO STATION! Answer the questions right, and you get the prize?"

"Are you drunk?"

"First question; The Ass-Bow. Fashion statement, or mating call?"

"I'm not answering that."

"Correct! Next question!"

"What are you on, Sakura?"

"How many Uchiha's does it take to screw in a lightbulb?"

"That's not funny."

"CORRECT! YOU WIN!"

"..."

"Sasuke?"

"Yah."

"Please don't mention this to Naruto."

"...I'm going to try and forget it, myself."

o

()Hidan()

o

"What the fuck do you want?"

"HELLO? IS THIS SHELLY? OMG SHELLS, I'VE GOT SO MU-"

"I'M NOT FUCKING SHELLY!"

"-CH TO TELL YOU! I'M PREGGERS, SHELLS! PREGGO LIKE AN EGGO! AND HEY, DID YOU EVER NOTICE-"

"KAKUZU? IS THAT YOU? YOU LITTLE FUCKER!"

"-THAT THE SUN, LIKE, SHINES!I MEAN FER REALZ, LOOK UP IN THE SKY SOME TIME, SHELLS!"

"You high bitch?"

"YAH! SO YESTERDAY THIS DUDE WAS ALL LIKE 'GIMME ALL YO MON-AYYY' AND I WAS ALL LIKE 'HELLZ NAH!'"

"Where the fuck do you live?"

"SHELLZ, WE SHOULD GO SEE A MOVIE THIS WEEKEND! I HEARD THE TITANIC WAS GOOD! BUT I THINK IT CAME OUT A WHILE AGO! WILL IT STILL BE IN THEATERS?"

"I'mma come to Konoha and fuck you up, bitch."

The line went dead.

"Che. How rude."

o

()Neji()

o

"Hyuga residence, were you looking for someone in particular?"

"I'mma fuck you up, Neji."

"Who is this?"

"Granny Chiyo. I can't believe you got MY MOTHERFUCKIN' GRANBABY PREGGERS!"

"Mam', I assure you, I have done no such-"

"BULLFUCK! YOU GOT HER PREGGERS AND YOU KNOW IT!"

"Ma-"

"I'MMA TAKE MY MOTHERFUCKIN' CANE TO YOUR SORRY HYUGA ASS!"

"I-"

"BETTER WATCH OUT, GANNY CHIYO COMIN' TO TOWN, AND SHE DON'T GIVE A SHIT IF YOU BEEN NAUGHTY OR NICE!"

"WHAT THE HE-"

"I'MMA SMACK A HO! I'MMA SMACK YOU DOWN!"

"IS THIS WHAT DESTINY HAD PLANNED FOR ME? REALLY, DESTINY?"

And then Sakura hung up, giggling and light-headed from whatever Ino had slipped into her diet coke.

"That was fun!"

"Fuck yeah it was. Let's do some more!"

o

()Kakashi()

o

"Hello?"

"Why, helloooo. Fancy meeting you here, handsome."

"So it is. Is there something in particular you needed?"

"I need you, bad boy. Come and ravish me."

"I would, but I have this dog that needs bathing-"

"No excuses! I want you on my doorstep, clad in only a black thong with a whip in hand!"

"...Okay."

"Good boy. You can't see my face, but I'm winking seductively at you."

"I'm sure you are."

"Come quick, fudgiedumpling."

o

()Itachi()

o

"Hello?"

"Um...Mr. Uchiha?"

"That's me."

"Um...well, I don't want to be rude, but who was the last person you had sex with?"

"Excuse me?"

"A patient here at the free clinic named you as a recent sexual partner. Would you like to come in for some tests?"

"What was the patient's name?"

"Sasuke Uchiha."

No answer.

"I think he hung of on me, Ino."

"Gee, I wonder why."

o

()Orochimaru()

o

"What?"

"How would you like to complete a FREE survey?"

"What do I get if I do?"

"The satisfaction of completing a FREE survey!"

"No."

"How do you handle a break-up?"

"Kill whoever dumped me."

"Last thing you ate?"

"Some small child."

"Are you afraid of spiders?"

"I eat them, too."

"Do you kiss your pets?"

"I always try to show Kabuto I love him more than my other bitches."

"Do you dance naked in your room?"

"I dance naked in everyone's room."

"Biggest fear?"

"Oranges-God...NOT THE ORANGES!"

"Are you toes painted?"

"Yes."

"What color?"

"Petal pink and Jasmine. With little rhinestones stuck in the middle."

"What's your favorite number?"

"Sixty-nine."

"Who was the last person you had sex with?"

"What's sex?"

"Have you ever hidden behind the clothes racks at Wal-mart and whispered 'pick me!' when people walked by?"

"Yes."

"Thank you for your time, mam'!"

"Fuck you."

o

()Shikamaru()

o

"Yeah?"

"HEY SHIKA YOU SO FINE, YOU SO FINE YOU BLOW MY MIND! HEY SHIKA! HEY-HEY-HEY SHIKA!"

"Drunk girls. How troublesome..."

"HEY SHIKAMARU! DID YOU KNOW THAT YOUR HAIR RESEMBLES A PINEAPPLE!"

"..."

"I FUCKING LOVE PINEAPPLES!"

"Your point?"

"HEY! WE SHOULD HAVE A-hic-PICNIC ONE DAY!"

"Why?"

"YOU CAN BRING THE PINEAPPLE! AHAHAHAHA!"

"I'm hanging up down. Go drink some coffee, Sakura."

"BUT SHIKA-KUNNNN!"

"SHIKA?"

"SHIKAMARU?"

"ARE YOU STILL THERE?"

"WHAT ABOUT OUR PICNIC!"

o

()Naruto()

o

"Hello?"

"BELIEVE IT! Ahahaha...you and your-hic-stupid catch phrase!"

"...Sakura?"

"You're like a-a brodda to me, Naruto!"

"Are you okay?"

"BUT SOMEONE'S LIKE THERE SISSY A LITTLE MORE THAN THEY SHOULD!"

"Sakura-chan! ARE YOU UNDER THE INFLUENCE?"

"Naruto-hic-kun, we ALL know you're madly in love with me. Even SHINO can see it, and he normally doesn't bother with anything that has less than four legs!"

"SAKURA. ARE YOU GIVING INTO PEER PRESSURE?"

"Ino is-hic-hardy my peer! Anyway, it don' matter how much you lurve me, FOR NO SAKURA FOR DA NARUTARD!"

"...Sakura. I'm coming over."

"OOOOH, NOW you act all protective and shit, but you didn't even care back in Mist when that shinobi was feelin' me up!"

"HE WAS FEELIN' UP ME AND TEME, TOO! IT'S NOT JUST YOU!"

"IT IS JUST ME, CUZ I'M THE BADDEST BITCH IN KONOHA!"

"I'm bringing coffee with me."

"HEY! You should prank call people with me and Ino!"

o

()Sai()

o

"Hello?"

"Ya know, Sai, I always thought you had the hottest ass in fire nation."

"Ugly?"

"No, you are most definitely not. If only you weren't gay."

"What's gay?"

"Oh Sai-poor, naive Sai. Go ask Sasuke. He knows."

"Okay..."

"See ya, Sai-bear. Love you, want you, wanna piece of that ass."

"Goodbye, Ugly."

"Catch you on the flip side!"

o

()Neji (again :D)()

o

"Hello?"

"Congratulations, sir! You just won a BRAND NEW CAR!"

"I know."

"AND-what?"

"It was my destiny."

o

()ROCK LEE()

o

"Yosh?"

"Did you get da stuff?"

"What stuff? OH! IS THIS 'STUFF' YOUTHFUL?"

"You could say that. Did'cha get it?"

"You haven't even told me what 'it' was?"

"It's stuff. How do you NOT know what da stuff is?"

"DID SOMEONE STEAL THIS 'STUFF' FROM YOU?

"No-"

"NO NEED TO FEAR, ROCK LEE IS HERE!"

"R-"

"JUST POINT ME IN THE DIRECTION THOSE STUFF-STEALING BANDITS WENT!"

"There's no-"

"WHICH WAY, CHILD OF THE YOUTH?"

"That way."

"That way?"

"Yes. That way."

"But which way are you-"

"Hello? Did you just hang up on me?"

"That was not very youthful of you!"

o

()Gaara()

o

"Sir, is your refrigerator running?"

"It was, but then I broke both it's legs."

o

o()o

o

"That was so much fun," Sakura sighed happily, brushing some hair out of her face.

"It was!" Ino agreed, blue eyes wide and glassy. "Hey, do you wanna order some pizza?"

Sakura picked up her ninja-cell, smirking devilishly. "What do you think?" And she press the speed dial number for Konoha's Greatest Pizza.

"Hello, I'd like to order some Kung Pow Chicken."

o

o()o

o

The end XD

Surat Kecil Buat Pak Kepala Dinas

Indonesian

Surat Kecil Buat Pak Kepala Dinas
Author: WAHANA ( Wahyu Nara Namikaze )

A/N : Ini cerita terinspirasi oleh seritanya bang Raditya Dika (marmot merah jambu).

Kalo ada kesamaan mohon dimaklumi ya. It's just for fun :D

Disclaimer : Masashi Kishimoto

Warning : OOC, AU, Typo, don't like don't read !, Gaje.

Akhir tahun 2010 adalah akhir tahun yang suram. Pasti semuanya nanya ' kok gitu ' ? Ya, akhir tahun ini ditutup dengan melonjaknya harga cabai. Nyebelin kan ? Ini pulalah yang terjadi di pasar umum desa konoha. Rakyat desa harus bersusah payah mengumpulkan cabai demi menyambung hidupnya (kok jadi sok dramatis ?).

Sampai-sampai aku, Naruto uciha hampir tiap hari bercucuran keringet demi mendapatkan cabe. Kenapa ? Ya, demi memenuhi kebutuhan keluargaku, aku bekerja sebagai cleaning servis di sebuah sauna. Sumpah panes banget di sana men ! Baru di lap dikit, udah keluar lagi keringet gua ! Tapi, dari sinilah, aku bisa dapet uang (recehan) buat beli cabe.

Aku sempet berfikir untuk membuat surat ke Dinas pertanian dan pangan.

Kalo jadi suratnya, bentuknya akan menjadi seperti ini …

Dear Kepala Dinas Pertanian dan Pangan,

Halo pak, apa kabar ? Baikah ? Apa buruk ? Oh sante aja, saya juga sedang buruk ini di kamar mandi. Oh maaf, itu berak deng. Bapak kenal saya kan ? Iya, saya yang suka nongol di depan rumah bapak itu. Eits, tunggu dulu pak, saya bukan bang joko si tukang es cendol langganan istri bapak. Oya, kemarin dia jualan tidak pak ? saya tunggu dia di pangkalan ojek sampai tengah malem kok tidak nongol juga ya ? Maaf, saya jadi ngelantur soal bang joko.

Ngomong-ngomong, Saya Naruto pak. Pekerja keras dan disiplin di salah sauna terbesar di Konoha. Iya, itu lho pak, yang komiknya selalu jadi inceran banyak orang. Saya tidak nyangka ternyata saya bisa seterkenal ini (terharu, mengusapkan air mata, hiks). Maaaf lagi pak, jadi nyambung ke komik akhirnya.

Saya hanya ingin menguraikan tentang sebab penyebab langkanya cabai akhir-akhir ini. Bapak bingung kenapa pegawai cleaning service bisa ngerti soal beginian ? Saya juga bingung pak. Sakura juga. Apalagi Sasuke. Saking bingungnya, dia sampai stres mikirin jatah rujaknya yang harus dikurangin. Kelangakaan ini membuat banyaknya dagang rujak yang gulung selimut, eh gulung tikar maksud saya. LOL…

Oke, kita langsung ke inti saja pak. Penyebab utama dari semua ini adalah semakin bertambahnya rumah makan yang bermenukan masakan "pedas". Bapak bingung kan ? hahaha sante ja kok pak, Akatsuki juga lagi bingung mikirin gajinya yang nggak pernah naik-naik. Ok, kembai ke laptop. Ternyata, tuntutan pasokan cabai dari rumah makan bergenre seperti ini sudah semakin meroket saat ini. Inilah yang membuat para petani merasa terdesak, dan akhirnya ogah untuk bercocok tanam cabai. Daripada jadi susah-susah jadi petani, mendingan jadi tukang cendol kayak abang joko.

Solusinya ? Buatkan saya rujak setiap hari ! Saya tidak tahu apakah ini akan membuat hilangnya kelangkaan cabai, tapi yang pasti saya akan senang. Tapi yang gratisan ya pak wkwkwk (ngarep)

Ok, cukup sekian yang ingin saya sampaikan. Bila bapak tertarik dengan barang MLM saya, bisa langsung datang ke tempat kerja saya. Terima kasih.

Naruto Uchiha

Warga Negara yang peduli & unyu beuds.

A Surprising Discovery

English
A Surprising Discovery
Naruto discovers something … good in his new home ;D
 Author: Bad Writer xD


-200 years ago-

"Hyaa, hyaa! To the Uchiha manor!" The horseman yelled, following after the dark figure barely visible through the moon's light. The figure cursed as it flew through the air, taking to the tree tops and jumping from tree to tree. It sped up it's speed, loosing the horsemen as it arrived at it's destination in less than a minute, his wound bleeding profusely.

"Mother, father, brother, get out of here! They're coming, they found out!" He said, falling to the floor and coughing up blood. Three others flew down the stairs of the extravagant home, two faces laced with worry, and one with anger.

"Who is coming, Sasuke!" The one with anger growled out, how could someone hurt Sasuke as so?"

"The bounty hunters, father. They've been hired to exterminate us all. We've only got a little left before they arrive, take mother and go!" His father nodded and picked up his wife, turning to his son and nodding.

"Farewell my sons. Take care of Sasuke, Itachi. As for me, I'm going to take your mother far away, she is in her last days, and I'd prefer her dying peacefully. I'll come find you when the time is right." Sasuke and Itachi both nodded, watching as their father disappeared with the wind.

"UCHIHA! COME OUT, WE'VE GOT YOU SURROUNDED!" Itachi's eyes widened and he went to the window, watching as they surrounded the house with many incantations and spells; they were doomed.

"No, we're not giving up yet. To my room, Itachi." Itachi nodded and flew up the stairs with Sasuke right behind him. They kicked the door down and locked it, running over to Sasuke's bed as the front door was kicked down by the horsemen

"Now what? We can't make it out of here, they've surrounded the house." Itachi said, listening to the arguments down stairs as they all got caught in their sharingan, it would give them time, but not enough.

"Help me with the bed, aniki." Sasuke said, trying to move the monstrous bed out of the way. Itachi nodded and began pushing the bed out of the way as if it were only a sheet of paper. He could feel Sasuke growing weak, and the smell of blood finally hit him.

"You're injured!" Sasuke grunted and pushed Itachi into the newly opened secret passageway. He followed after him, tying a rope to the bed to pull it back in place as soon as he entered. They walked down the passage, the smell of blood hitting Itachi and making him worry for his younger brother. "Sasuke, you need to stop and take care of it!" Itachi finally yelled, the thought of it not letting him be.

"I can't, Itachi!" he snapped, glaring at his brother as he kept walking. "They used something holy on me. I need time to heal this wound, and we don't have that. It'll take them twenty minutes to find this passage, fourteen to go down it far enough to figure out we're here, and less than five minutes to come get us! And in my condition, I can't go any faster than at human rate! So just shut up and hurry up. I need to think of something!" Itachi nodded and kept his eyes on his younger brother.

Sasuke sighed as he held his breathe, the incantations and holy water were sprayed directly above them, and even one sniff of the stuff could mean certain death for him. Itachi took his breathe as well as he hurriedly pushed Sasuke along, the faint and distant sound of a door being kicked in, echoing in the passageway; they were in.

"SHIT!" Sasuke cursed softly as he sped up his pace, Itachi rolled his eyes and picked his brother up as he took his vampiric speed out of the passage way. Sasuke growled when they made it out, it wasn't until they were half a mile away from the entrance that Itachi let him go.

"Don't do that, aniki!" Itachi chuckled and rolled his eyes, pulling at Sasuke's cloak to get a better look. What he saw left him breathless and in shock. Sasuke had been staked, albeit he wasn't staked close to the heart, only near the stomach, but it was still a fatal wound that left untreated, could result in death for Sasuke.

"H-How?" Itachi asked as he quickly tore off his own cloak, making a make-shift bandage for him. Sasuke sighed and looked away, trying to remember what happened.

"I had attended the town meeting and those thugs who call themselves horsemen attacked the innocent people at the village, making them tell who was a vampire and who wasn't. In the end I was pointed a finger at and one of them tried to stake me, but he was too drunk. I made the mistake of hissing and running out of there like an attacked snake, so they went after me." Itachi nodded as he heard the faint sounds of horses on the move.

"Shit, they're coming after us!" Sasuke yelled jumping away from Itachi and heading south. "Go, Itachi. Just go, I'll be alright, I promise you." Itachi sighed but nodded, there was no reasoning with Sasuke when he had his mind set on something, he learned that the hard way. He jumped away and began heading east, he just prayed that Sasuke would be alright.

Sasuke jumped from tree to tree, trying to make space between him and his brother. If he could, he would prefer they killed him and not the last of his family, he truly wanted them alive. He sped on passed many rivers and streams, trying to wash his scent away, but they still managed to find him. He cursed as he heard the horses gaining speed, if this kept on like this, they would actually capture him, and he was not going to roll over and give in so easily. He kept going, trying to find something to help.

Soon he came upon a giant mansion, it was black on a hill top, just the place where he could hide. He tapped into his vampiric speed and sped up, reaching the main door easily and knocking on it. A young woman, with an elaborate Kimono answered the door, she had her hair arranged in two buns with sealing tags as decorations dangling from the buns. She had a diamond mark on her forehead and a kind of tiara in her hair. She stared at Sasuke and heard the horsemen in the distance, a look of worry covering her face.

"Hashirama!" She yelled, her musical voice startling Sasuke, the dread of the fast approaching horsemen forgotten as he studied the woman. A man with dark tan skin, brown eyes, and long black hair appeared behind the beautiful woman, his smile disappeared when his eyes landed on Sasuke and the sound of the horsemen filled his ears.

"Take him down to the mausoleum and keep him there, I'll deal with these men, Mito." The newly named Mito smiled and nodded, edging Sasuke into the castle and down to a hallway to the far off right. They came to a tall statue of a nine tailed fox, Mito going over to it and pushing the big statue away from the wall.

Sasuke was surprised, that statue looked to be at least one ton in weight, yet the woman was able to move it easily. She giggled and pulled him in, pulling on the handle behind the statue to pull it back. "I'm not as weak as I look, besides that statue moves by itself, but it takes a long time, now lets move." she said, her musical voice turning hard when she heard the horsemen behind them, at the door.

"We're looking for a fugitive vampire, mi'lord." One of them said, surprising Sasuke even more since those thugs only seemed to act rudely.

"We'll you see he is not here! Stop coming to me with your problems and go off to find him!" Came the harsh words from Hashirama, making Sasuke's eyes widen.

"Why is he speaking that way to the horsemen?" Sasuke asked Mito as she lead him down. She sighed and turned to him, a cold expression in her eyes.

"Those thugs came here many months ago, they were convinced that I myself was a vampire and tried to stake me while my husband was away, but he came back and fought them all back, causing them to respect him for he fought them all alone. Soon they kept coming to him, it seems they appointed him as their leader, but no matter how much he orders them to stop hunting down vampires, they do it anyway." Mito said as they came to a dead end. She pulled out one of her sealing tags and placed it on the wall where a small rectangular indention was. Immediately the wall moved away, revealing an elaborate mausoleum, it's carvings and elegant art reminding Sasuke of a catholic church in Rome. He walked in and looked around, a sarcophagus set out and ready.

"We were planning on using this when our time came, but we'll make another, you need it more. Heal your wounds and wake up again when you can." Sasuke raised an eyebrow; sleep? Mito smiled and soon the wall opened again, Hashirama coming into the room as well.

"Well, at least tell us your name, we'll be needing it to place it on the door. Sasuke smirked and nodded pulling out his gold chain and showing off his crest, the name on the back said it all. There was a loud audible gasp resounding in the room as Hashirama stared at the small plaque.

"U-Uchiha? But how?" Sasuke raised an eyebrow and nodded staring at the shaking man. "The Uchiha used to be our clan's enemy, the last of them made a truce with us, but then they disappeared, never to be seen again. But this was more than a hundred years ago! And Sasuke was one of the princes of their clan, he along with his elder brother Itachi, made the truce possible." understanding dawned on his face and Sasuke smiled at him, nodding and bowing before him.

"Ah, yes, I am Sasuke Uchiha, son of Fugaku and Mikoto Uchiha, younger brother to Itachi, and the last of the Uchiha royalty." He said as he stood back up, a small smile on Hashirama and Mito's faces. They nodded and walked to the door, Hashirama throwing him two red, warm bags.

"Drink up, it'll be your last for some years. After that, go to sleep, we'll wake you up soon." Sasuke raised an eyebrow again, what was this talk about sleep? Hashirama smirked and rolled his eyes, of course they wouldn't teach him how to sleep, he was royalty, he wouldn't need to sleep to regenerate if he never fought. He sighed and turned to Mito, watching as she giggled and stepped over to Sasuke.

"Lay down and close your eyes, let everything go and relax, soon you'll be in a place of suspended animation, and you'll feel only a deep relaxation as you feel yourself regenerate and the longer you heal, the deeper you go, and the deeper you go, the more relaxed you are. Only when an Uzumaki wants you to wake, shall you wake up. Until then, sleep and be at peace, for nothing will happen to you." Sasuke nodded, feeling his eyes get heavy and moving as she told him, to the sarcophagus, to sleep.

Hashirama stared in awe as he watched the young vampire go to sleep, his wife strutting down the hallway, shaking her ass and smirking over her shoulder at him. "How do you do that?" he asked as he closed the door, taking the time to engrave S.U. in the door and leaving a seal there.

As his wife had said, only an Uzumaki could open the door, only an Uzumaki can awaken the sleeping vampire, and only an Uzumaki has the power of hypnosis over every living creature. Mito smiled and shrugged, walking out and heading into the kitchen.

For many years Sasuke slept, waiting for an Uzumaki to awaken him. Soon war broke out, Hashirama won it over, but at the cost of his life, and Mito lived to be 122 years old, teaching her younger generations the art of the Uzumaki, until she died. Sasuke slept, forgotten to everyone, and he would keep on sleeping until …
-The present-

Naruto sighed as he unlocked the front door of his new house, more like mansion! The place was huge, and more than what he needed, but he couldn't leave it, not after it was given to him by his mother, who had it given to her by her great, he never does know how many greats, grandmother. He sighed once again, letting out the breathe as he entered.

"Damn! This place is HUGE! How come mom never let us live in it?" he sighed and walked over to the window, pushing open the drapes and gasping as the dust came out to attack him.

"Because she felt it was wrong, like someone already lived in it." Came a voice from the front door, signaling the arrival of someone else. He looked over at the door, spotting his father and rolling his eyes as he leaned on the door.

"Yeah, I know that dad, but I just never understood. Anyways, cousin Kyuubi said he was meeting with someone before he would come, but he said a snowstorm is on it's way. I'd suggest you get on down to your own home and stay there!" Naruto yelled, a small giggle in his voice. Minato chuckled and nodded, holding his hands up in surrender.

"Yeah, alright, I'll go. You do know that I'll miss you right? With your mother gone, and now you too, I'll feel lonely." He said, a mock sadness in his eye. His mother, Kushina, had been in a car accident, but it was her decision to pull the plug, she'd said she wasn't going to live like a television, constantly plugged to a wall. They'd all shared their tears, but they were happy, she died happily, and left them with her love.

"I'm sure you'll manage, perhaps, you'll spend your time over at your new neighbor's house? Maybe in his bed?" Minato spluttered and blushed, not believing his son had said something like that about his new neighbor.

"Would you quit saying that about Fugaku! He lost his wife too you know!" Minato yelled, an angry red blush covering his face as Naruto smirked at him. Hey, Naruto wouldn't say anything if it weren't for the looks that Fugaku keeps throwing at his father!

"Alright, alright, but get home, and PLEASE do not forget to stop by the grocery store, you do need to eat!" Naruto said as he watched the first flakes of snow fall from the sky, already the ground was sprinkled with white, and he wanted to start cleaning his place. He'd gone yesterday to stalk up on food, buying enough to feed ten people if he wanted, he also bought three boxes full of cleaning supplies, he was going to clean this place, and no twenty rooms were going to stop him either.

Minato nodded and walked out, leaving his clean freak of a son alone to his home. Naruto sighed and nodded, turning around and deciding to get started with the very last room, because what better way to start it out, then by the very back?

By the end of the day, Naruto was moving to the beat of the music as he finished room number eight, dragging his mop back and forth got to him and with only twelve rooms to go he feared the worst for his hands. He sighed as he stopped his movements, he'd been lucky he had Shikamaru install those speakers all over the house yesterday, or else cleaning would have been a drag, and yes, if you want to call it a pun, he did intend that pun. He was tired of cleaning without something to listen to, and if it weren't for the speakers, he would have killed himself after five minutes of starting.

Naruto smiled as he entered his room, he had painted it while he was up there cleaning, and if he could say so himself , he did a pretty good job. People would say that orange was his favorite color, since he wore that a lot, but no. He wore it because it looked good on him, but his favorite color was midnight blue. And his favorite thing to do was in fact, not eating ramen, but staring at the stars. So he pained the night sky all over the room, using the glow in the dark paint his friend, Deidara had given him. If he and Sasori were here, they'd most definitely would be impressed by his artistic skills. Naruto giggled as he crawled into the huge, larger than king sized, bed. It would probably fit six people comfortably with room to spare. He giggled as he remembered how he got it.

He had strutted himself into the furniture store, trying to find something big enough to fit into the room, and take up most of the extra space when his eyes landed on that bed. He smiled as he nodded his approval, waving the guy working the store over and giving him a big smile.

"How much for this one?" he'd asked, wondering if it was in his budget. Naruto had money, but he wasn't rich. The man raised an eyebrow and pointed to the tag. Naruto gasped and his eyes widened, that wasn't in his budget, it WAS his budget. He sighed and turned away, making the guy grab his shoulder.

"Just why do you need a bed this size anyway, if you don't mind me asking?" Naruto smirked and looked up at him with the most innocent of eyes he could muster, almost giving the guy a nosebleed if he wanted to say so.

"Well, my room is actually too big, and I need something to take up space, besides, when I lay on the bed, I want to feel small, so that someone could hold me in their arms. I want something with room so that when I decide to have fun, I won't fall off of the bed and harm myself, I want something so big, that when I have company over, all they're staring at is at me, without a single article of clothing, and willing for them." Naruto internally laughed his ass off as he watched the guy squirm and gulp under the weight of his low, husky voice.

To Naruto, it was plain that the man was interested in seeing that for himself, if that bulge was anything to go by. The man nodded and waved over some men, telling them to pack up the bed and take it to Naruto's house, that it was his. They nodded, a weird look in their eyes as they laid their eyes on the price tag and stared at him. Naruto smiled innocently, his eyes saying exactly what he needed it for. He watched as they gulped and knelt down, trying to disguise their erections as they dismantled the bed and took it away.

Naruto giggled and stripped, taking a running start and jumping into the sea of midnight blue silk, moaning in slight pleasure as the silk caressed his body, he could feel as though someone was watching him from some far off world, watching as he moaned. It made him hot and bothered, knowing and feeling as though someone stared at him. He knew that he should have been scared out of his mind that someone was staring at his naked body, but he couldn't find reason to fear it. This man, thing, ghost, whatever you want to call it, was calm, and he didn't give off any signs of danger.

He moaned loudly as he trailed his hands down his body, tweaking his nipples lightly, feathering his cock, and ghosting touches to his entrance. He imagined his watcher was growling with approval as he touched himself, he imagined other hands, the hands of a faceless man over his body, making it tingle with excitement. Naruto moaned loudly, unconsciously moving his fingers to his mouth as his left hand ghosted itself all over his body, making his skin hypersensitive. He could not believe what was happening to him as he sucked on his fingers and stared at the ceiling, he sucked them as if they were the last pop-sickle in a heat dominant place.

He imagined his watcher moan with anticipation as he pulled his fingers out, knowing that they were well slicked up and ready for his hungry hole. Sasuke could not believe it, he had been wandering around in this dream land for what felt like eternity, trying to find a way to get out. He had seen what happened, how Hashirama was killed, and how the life was drained from Mito when she found out he was dead. She forgot about everything, even the maintainability of her prized home as she immersed herself into teaching the next generation. He had no problems with it, hell, he was even furious when Hashirama died, and it hurt him inside, but now Mito had died, and never released him.

He had been in the middle of pacing and glaring at the corner, now dubbed sulking corner by him, when he heard the mansion's door open for the second time in what felt like thousands of years. His interest was piqued when the beautiful blonde man from yesterday walked in and smiled. He had watched the man the entire day, watching as he danced erotically to the weird sounds escaping the black box things around the house that another man the blonde man called, "Shika" had installed.

He had watched as the blonde man walked into this room and painted it a beautiful night sky earlier in the day. He watched as he had came back, stripping sensually, as if he taunted Sasuke with the idea that he would never have him as his, and giggled at the bed. He quirked his eyebrow at that and wondered what the bed had that was significant other than being overly huge.

He watched when the blonde jumped into it and moaned a sound that was so delicious, it pained Sasuke he couldn't make him do it himself. And then, the blonde caught him off guard. He began to stare straight at him as his hands explored his own body. He was sure the blonde knew he was there, and it got him aroused at the thought that maybe, being with the blonde would be possible after all. He growled as he watched the blonde tease his own entrance, fingers gliding back up to his mouth.

That mouth! It tormented Sasuke as the blonde's eyes half lidded themselves and he stared at him with the sexiest stare he had ever seen. The blonde began to suck on those fingers and Sasuke wished they were something else, something connected to his own body and in his now tight trousers.

Naruto moaned as his fingers entered him slightly, his eyes trained on that spot in the ceiling as he blushed and mewled out softly, one name entering his head at the moment and he took the liberty to moan it out loudly. "S-Sasuke! Mmm" Naruto moaned, arching his hips into the air as his first finger entered him, his imagined man sliding his fingers in and out of his ass slowly.

Sasuke gasped as he heard the blonde man moan out his name. "How the hell does he know my name?" Sasuke asked himself as he watched the delicious treat of a man arch his back and moan loudly for him, the blush on his face making Sasuke want to ravish him at the moment. One name came to his mind, and as he dug his hand into his trousers, he moaned it loudly. "N-Naruto!"

Naruto's eyes wrenched open as he heard his name being moaned out, he could have sworn that he heard a beautiful voice utter his name like it was the best thing in the world. He was brought back to the moment when his finger accidentally brushed against his prostate, making him arch his back to an incredible angle and add his other two fingers, he didn't care if it would hurt, he wanted release now.

Sasuke panted, his clothes strewn all over the place as he rubbed his cock swiftly, watching as the blonde arched and added his other two fingers. Sasuke growled and squeezed his member, imagining he was entering the blonde moaning and writhing in ecstasy below him. Naruto thrust his hips up, trying to get his fingers in deeper into him, trying to expand the pleasure more. He could feel his watcher was hungrily watching his movements, trying to figure out what he would do.

Naruto growled in frustration and pulled his fingers out, making Sasuke raise an eyebrow as he turned onto his hands and knees and searched for something under his pillow. Naruto pulled out a long dildo, smirking as he felt the curious gaze of his watcher run over the object. He licked at it, mewling and moaning slightly and Sasuke growled, that thing looked like a cock, and the blonde was going to suck on it. He didn't quite understand why he would rip off someone's cock, but he wasn't complaining, the guy must have gotten on the blonde's nerves and he ripped it off.

Naruto licked the dildo all over, getting it nice and wet as he let it enter his mouth, sucking it down slightly and pulling back. He added a little more each time he went down and soon, he had it all. Sasuke watched in astounded awe as the blonde sucked the ripped off, blue cock all the way down. He growled in want as he watched him pull it out and trail it down.

"I vow, if I ever get out of this place and meet that blonde, I will destroy that dead cock and find it's owner! HE SHALL DIE! How dare does that dead cock think it can take the blonde? I had my eye on him first!" Sasuke growled out as the blue cock finally made it to the blonde's entrance, teasing the blonde as he slid it slightly in and out.

Naruto moaned and felt like giggling a little, but squashed the feeling when the dildo made it to his entrance, his imagined man teasing him and smirking down at him. "Ahhh … please!" Naruto moaned, too lost in his pleasure to realized that he had the control. Sasuke groaned, squeezing everything he had as the dead cock went inside the blonde, pushing past all of his barriers. Naruto writhed in ecstasy as the dildo pushed in, his imagined man pushing in slowly, then ramming in.

Sasuke watched with fascination as the blonde began pushing in the dead cock slowly, only to thrust it hard and deeply, the pain adding to the moment. Sasuke smirked, he was beginning to enjoy watching the blonde. Naruto grabbed the remote beside him, making Sasuke arch his brow and watch as he flipped the switch, his eyes growing wide as the dead cock began to move.

He watched as the cock seemed to eat the blonde out, making him writhe and scream in ecstasy as it moved quickly in and out. Naruto moaned loudly, forgetting he had an audience as he thrust against his moving hand, the vibrating dildo moving just right against his prostate. Sasuke moaned as his hand moved quickly against him, his back arching, his legs splayed out, his mouth opened and moaning loudly.

They both moved fluidly, both not noticing how they moved as if in sync with one another, each time Naruto moaned loudly, Sasuke grunted and thrust his hips deeper, each time Naruto whimpered, Sasuke smirked and gave a hard thrust in, making the blonde moan out loudly. They moved together, but they were far away, their movements perfect with one another, yet never knowing. Naruto panted, his arms giving out and letting him plop down, his ass in the air and the dildo moving on its own. Sasuke knelt up, his hips thrusting in and out of his fist as if he were behind the blonde.

Naruto moaned out continuously, his hips moving back, and not known to him, knocking the dildo out, he fucked himself with air. Sasuke dropped his hands from his cock and began grabbing onto air, as if holding Naruto's hips as he piston his cock into nothing but air. Both moaned loudly as Naruto's insides convulsed and Sasuke's cock was squeezed. They moved quickly, finding they were both on the edge, so close, yet so far, as their bodies were.

"SASUKE!"

"NARUTO!"

They both yelled in ecstasy as they came, Naruto onto his bed, and Sasuke into nothing but air, but they both felt it. Sasuke could almost feel the blonde's cum hitting his knees and legs, so hot and warm, and Naruto could feel the faceless man's cock swell and cum, splashing his insides with his hot cum. They collapsed, Naruto onto his bed, and Sasuke onto the floor as he drifted deeper into relaxation.

Naruto woke up the next morning, his room freezing and his breathe visible in the air. "Why the fuck is it cold?" he yelled as he stood up, he had fallen asleep last night after his intense orgasm, not bothering in covering himself and just letting go, feeling as if he were in someone's arms the whole time. Sasuke groggily woke up, staring at the blonde as he shivered and glared at his breathe.

"Why the fuck does it have to be so cold, and I am not dressed?" Naruto asked himself as he jumped out of the bed, running over to his bathrobe and putting it on. He turned to the window and walked over, casting a glance out and staring in awe at it all. A blizzard had struck the night before, covering everything in two feet worth of snow. "OH MY GOD!" Naruto yelled cheerfully as he bounded over to his bathroom and starting his bath.

Sasuke smiled at the blonde and watched as he showered quickly and got dressed. Naruto bounded down the stairs, straight to the still unclean living room, walking over to the windows and opening the curtains. He smiled happily and ran over to the kitchen, he had gotten Shikamaru to put the phone in the other day as well. He dialed some numbers, Sasuke watching as he spoke up.

"Hey guys, have you seen all of this snow?" Naruto said as he smiled out the window.

"Hell yeah! Me and Akamaru are going to go snowboarding, want to come?" Naruto grinned as Kiba's voice reached his ear.

"Sure, come on over and we'll get going, ask Shika to bring you." He said as he ended the call and turned to the still messy place. "SHIT! I forgot I still haven't cleaned up the front!" he ran around to the back rooms, grabbing his cleaning supplies as he ran back.

Sasuke watched intrigued as the blonde began to play with the contraption that made music once more, a guy coming out singing about a cowgirl.

"Just put it in reverse cow girl! I like how you do, just put it in reverse cowgirl." the man began, talking about hands in the air and waving them around. He watched as Naruto's hips began to gyrate to the song, a man beginning to sing in Spanish as well.

"Siempre ando con el cash, para complacerla porque eheh. Ella tiene el splash que me pone fuera de ser, eheh. Anda trepate, duro vuelvete, en mi cuerpo delisate, en la cama revuelcate." Sasuke raised an eyebrow and decided not to follow after that thought, just watching as his blonde began to dance to the rhythm of the song. Sasuke was very intrigued as he listened to the song playing and wondered exactly what they were talking about. The first man, said something about his rodeo, and to hold on to him. But aren't rodeos where people ride bulls? So why does this girl need to hold onto him? Sasuke was beginning to become very frustrated as he thought over things once more. And the Spanish singing one was talking about keeping money to pleasure her with … shouldn't you use your body for that? He growled and concentrated on the song.

The song changed and so did Naruto's tempo as he walked to another room. The song began with rain, and the same guy singing about the rodeo began singing in "Ay" and "aha"'s. But this time, another guy began singing. Now he was really confused, wasn't this the rodeo guy's song? And what IS Sasuke supposed to be imagining? Why two bodies? And what the hell is this guy talking about HIM AND SASUKE?

"Imaginate, dos cuerpos en la cama ardiendo-o, sudados y afuera lloviendo-o-o, no lo pienses mas vamos acerlo realidad." (Imagine, two bodies in bed in heat, sweating and its raining outside. Don't think more of it and lets make it reality. … Sasuke is fluent in Spanish :D) Sasuke stared at the black box as it talked about beds and sweating.

"Baby I can see us two, walking in the rain it's goin to be me and you. Oh, ain't no telling what we goin do, I can make you feel like a dream. Use your imagination, oh imagination. Oh, I can make you feel like a dream, all you gotta do is … Imaginate!" Sasuke stared at the black box as if it had gone crazy. WHAT THE HELL WAS IT TALKING ABOUT? That box HAS no legs, therefore it cannot walk, and what the hell does that mean, make him feel like a dream? Sasuke did NOT want to be made to feel like a dream by that box! Maybe by the blonde, yes, but not by a black box talking about rodeos!

"What the hell is the blonde doing, listening to this? And how the hell does the blonde know Spanish?" Sasuke asked as the box changed songs once again and he took a look around, the blonde had escaped him! The new song startled Sasuke as it talked about booty moving.

"She's nothing like a girl you've ever seen before, nothing you can compare to your neighborhood whore. I'm trying to find the words to describe this girl without being disrespectful. The way that booty moving I can't take it no more, have to stop what I'm doing so I can pull her close. I'm trying to find the words to describe this girl without being disrespectful. Damn girl!" Sasuke's left eye twitched as he listened to the new guy sing.

"How the hell am I supposed to know if she's nothing like a girl I've ever seen, if I DON'T KNOW HER! And what the hell? Just say she's pretty! And what the hell does booty mean? Is that like pirate's gold or something?" Sasuke ranted as the door bell rang, announcing the arrival of guests.

Naruto happily went to the door, he had fixed up the living room, kitchen, and the front hall, and that was good enough for him. He turned down the music, much to Sasuke's relief, and went to the door, jumping back when a snowball nearly hit him and shot passed Sasuke, scaring the shit out of him.

"Yo, Naruto! Snowball fight!" The guy yelled, making Sasuke growl in anger, he rolled his eyes and walked away, making Naruto partly sad. He had been laughing his ass off the entire time he listened to the music, he just sensed that someone was getting pissed off trying to understand the music, and it was just so hilarious, he had to laugh.

Naruto sighed and let his friends in. There was Kiba and Akamaru, Hinata, Shikamaru and his two girl pose, Ino and Temari, and Sakura. They smiled at him as he led them to the living room, smiling in awe as they took a look around.

"Dude! There is this huge mountain behind you, and you tell us nothing?" Kiba yelled, breaking the awe struck silence. Naruto rolled his eyes and walked out of there and towards his kitchen, now that he thought about it, he didn't want to go out, he felt like he'd better finish up there then go.

"Sorry, Kiba, I didn't even think to look around outside when I woke, I just wanted to get down and call you guys. Look, I feel like if I leave this place without cleaning it, it would be disrespectful to my great, I don't even know how many greats, grandmother, so you guys go and I'll meet up with you guys later, maybe come back here when you get cold on the mountain?" they all beamed and nodded, knowing how Naruto felt. They left and promised to come back later and Naruto smiled as he grabbed his supplies and began to get to work.

He played the music once more and began to get to work, that nagging feeling of laughing his ass off getting to him. "Broke up with my girl last night so I went to the club"

"What the hell is a club?" Sasuke's rant began and Naruto felt like dying from laughter for no particular reason.

"I'm just looking for somebody talk to, to show me some love. If you know what I mean!" Sasuke growled and glared at the infernal box.

"NO I DON'T! LOVE CANNOT BE SHOWN, IT IS AN EMOTION!" Sasuke yelled, almost pulling his hair out.

"Oh, she made us drinks to drink, we drunk em, got drunk. And then I think she thinks I'm cool. She gave me a wink, I winked back, and then I think that, we goin ta have fun at the spa tonight. I like the bartender, oh if you're looking for me, I'm at the bar with her!" Sasuke glared at the box, so many questions and yet that black thing would not give in to his demands at answers! WHY NOT?

"What the hell does that mean, that she thinks you're cool? Why don't you wear a mother fucking jacket so she WON'T think that? And what the hell is a spa? How are you going to have fun there? Is there anything out there that does not involve that Spanish singing guy talking about him and me in bed? And what is a bartender? Is that not a thing? Or is it a woman again? Where is the guy obsessed with taking me to bed? Will he not sing with you now?" Sasuke ranted out, glaring at the black box of doom.

Naruto laughed his ass off, but he couldn't figure out why he was. As he finished off the other rooms, he just couldn't stop laughing and often had to step outside to get some air. Soon he came to a large hallway filled with mirrors, statues of foxes, and the Uzumaki crest at the very end, hanging proudly and huge. He smiled and dusted everything as he made his way down the hallway.

He had always wanted to learn more of his family, since his mother taught him all of those hypnosis tricks, he'd wanted to learn more. He made it to the end, sighing in relief as he finally got finished with the entire house. He was about to turn back and turn the music off, the laughter now almost killing him, when he spotted a piece of paper sticking out from under the giant nine tailed fox.

Naruto quirked an eyebrow at the thought of something being behind the statue and soon, his curiosity won over and he pushed at the statue, smirking at the lightweight of it, but then again, he thinks Chouji is light weight. As he moved the statue away, he picked up the small paper, finding that it was a sealing tag, like the ones his great, he never does know how many greats, grandmother use to wear in her buns. He smiled and was about to pull the statue back, when a loud CLINK was heard and the fox moved on its own, revealing a large opening and a secret passageway was revealed.

Naruto stared in awe as he walked in, the fox statue quickly closing behind him. He wasn't scared, he could find his way out some other way if he couldn't open it again. He walked down the long, pitch black passageway, the only light there coming from his phone as he turned on the flashlight application. He watched in awe as he passed a small little bowl of some sort.

He slid his finger into it, finding that it was still half full of some liquid. "Nani? What's this?" Naruto asked as he sniffed at the residue on his fingers, it was oil, candle oil. He took out a lighter and put it close to the trail his finger made on the edge of the bowl, soon the fire blazed and traveled down the long passageway along the top, illuminating the entire place. He put his phone and lighter away as he walked down the long hallway and over to the door hidden at the end.

Naruto could see the clearly engraved initials on the door as he opened it, revealing another bowl at the entrance to a very dark room. He flicked a lit piece of wood into the bowl, watching as the fire blazed around the room. He entered the room and gasped, it was a grave, and a very beautiful one too. It had tall pedestals made of marble and granite. He took a step inside, examining everything in the room. It looked more like it would be at home in a Roman Catholic Church, rather than way down here. He walked in, forgetting everything and just taking a look around.

The room was filled with dust, and rust covered one of the iron statues by the door. A huge sarcophagus laid open in the middle of the room on top of a huge marble table, and a statue was inside, covered in more dust. Naruto walked over to it, wondering why someone had laid a statue inside. He stared at the statue in awe, maybe it was a ritual room? He had studied many ritual rooms in the past with his collage, but this room looked nothing like those rooms, nor did the statue since all ritual statues were of animal people.

He gasped as he came closer to the statue, it was no statue, it was a real corpse, and it had to have been down there for two hundred years. "B-But how can that be? He looks like he had just died today, but I know for sure that no one has been down here in more that two hundred years!" Naruto said as he studied the body. The man was beautiful, his raven black hair shined in the light of the fire, and his bluish pale skin was as cold as ice. Naruto tentatively put his hand over the corpse's nose, feeling as if he should do that to see if it was alive.

No breathe of air hit his hand and he sighed in relief as he removed his hand. It fascinated and scared him to know that someone was down here, sleeping their eternal sleep as he slept his temporary rest, waiting for the next day to start as this person waited to be taken away. He slumped against the wall next to the door as he stared at the corpse. He just couldn't understand how a dead man of two hundred years, still looked as if he had died earlier that day and was just brought in to his tomb only hours earlier.

How could it be that this man died down here? Did he have a disease that petrified him and left him forever frozen? Did he drink nitrogen and somehow become frozen? Was he even alive at all when this happened to him, or did an undertaker do this to him as an experiment? So many questions, and yet there were no answers. But what Naruto did know, was that he would be coming back here again, and again, trying to find the answers that he needed, but would never get.

He got up and left, after all, it was near midnight, and he needed his rest. He walked out of the room, taking one last glance at the corpse's beautiful face before he stepped out.

The entire night, Naruto could not find sleep, he tossed and turned, he grumbled and glared. He did everything he could to sleep, but he just could not find his sleep. One thought kept haunting him through the night, one very scary thought drove the sleep away, one thought kept him on edge. And that thought was, "Could he be a vampire?" But that was just ridiculous, those thugs they call horsemen killed the last of the vampires over 10 years ago, there were none left!

But, then again he had been down there for more that two hundred years, he could have been kept well hidden by his family, he could still live. Not much was known of the vampires, but the Uzumaki clan knew all there is to know and more. There were no such things as Sparkly vampires, or burning vampires. The sun did nothing to them except show everyone their ultra pale skin, but then again, now a days a lot of people were pale. The only thing that is able to harm a vampire is wood. Once living, now dead, that is what a vampire is. People think that holy water can harm a vampire, the only reason it works is because it is made with wood residue, and not much else. And what can garlic do except make you stink?

Vampires also had a natural ability over elements, and when there were once clans, they divided the elements into different clans who specialized over the elements. There were such elements such as wind, belonging to the Uzumaki clan, but they gave up their immortal life to be human again, with the condition of taking care of other vampires in need and the necessity of drinking blood every now and again, something they never did mind. Also the element of Fire, given to the Uchiha clan, or was it the Uchiwa(?), the fan(?), who specialized in great fire balls and as an added extra, lightning was given to them to symbolize that they were all powerful. There was once, the Senju clan, who was a clan of vampires in all specialties, torn down long ago in a war. The ice clan, Momochi, who specialized and fought with ice mirrors. The Earth clan, Iwa, who used bombs, mudslides, and even in the rarity of the Senju clan's Earth users, wood. Even the water clan, Hoshigaki, had something to them, most of their clan members having a slight resemblance to underwater creatures. There were once many clans, and now they were all gone, wiped out by the thugs, the Horsemen.

Naruto sighed as he sat up, it was now 6 in the morning, and he had not fallen asleep at all. He got dressed and walked downstairs, he did not know what to do, but but he did know something. He was going to find out about that corpse, he was going to study it until nothing else could be done to it.

He was finally in front of the giant fox statue, his body subconsciously taking him where he needed to be most. The door was already opened, and the fire was already started. He had a can full of candle oil in his grasp and a strong will in his heart, he was going to prove that man down there was not a vampire, and he was going to be prepared.

He walked down the passageway, his face set in a determined look as he walked down it. Sasuke gasped as he watched the blonde go down the passageway, had he discovered Sasuke's whereabouts? Had he finally seen Sasuke? He watched the blonde as he walked down the hall, he had a determined look set on his eyes and walked straight to that room. Sasuke's eyes widened as he pushed open the room and lit the fire bowl. He HAD been there! But when? Had it been when Sasuke was ranting to the black box? Sasuke watched in fascination as the blonde walked straight over to him. He could not enter this room, no matter how much he wanted, he could not open it, and now he can't see in it, but he could hear from distant ears and his mouth opened in fascination as he vaguely recalled this hearing coming from his body's ears.

Naruto walked over to the man and gulped as he took a breathe, the room smelled of dust and a slight hint of cinnamon, but Naruto took no mind and plunged his fingers to his objective. Sasuke gasped as he felt fingers at his lips on his body. He could feel soft fingers probing at his lips and pull his upper lip up, yet there were none on him, they were on his body and he could hear the gasp that came after that. Naruto pulled the upper lip up and gasped as his gaze fell on a sharp fang.

He stumbled away from the body, as if it were going to wake any second and come after him. His back touched the wall and he slid down all the way until he reached the floor, his shocked gaze falling on the floor as his hands held his face. How could it be that he had found a vampire who was asleep for more that two hundred years? How could it be that he still felt safe even though he had found something that used to hunt humans for food. His mind reeled over those thoughts and each day he came back to stare and ponder over the body until at last came day five, a Friday, and he decided what to do.

"Well, no use staring at you, it's been a whole week and you haven't moved an inch, I'd say you're still asleep. I'll just clean up the place and make you a little more presentable for when you do wake up." Naruto mumbled to himself as he stood close to the body, a small gold chain, like a pocket watch chain, caught his eyes. He quirked an eyebrow and picked it up, gasping as a small crest appeared with an inscription on the back, it was a birth crest, given to royalty when they are born.

"Uchiha Sasuke, Second prince of the Uchiha clan. July 23, 1689" Naruto gasped and stared at the body, it was more than three hundred years old, and this castle-like mansion was made two hundred years ago. Naruto shivered and shook his head to clear out his thoughts, he would not let anything keep him from cleaning this place, he owed it to this Prince Sasuke to get this place clean and get him new clothes. The weird thing is that he felt his name was Sasuke, but he didn't know why.

He still remembered his first night in this place, and the name he moaned out when he climaxed, it was intense and took more out of Naruto that he thought it would, especially since it was only his fingers, a dildo, and his imagination at work, but still he came with so much force that night that he knew he never came like that before. He shook those thoughts away and walked out of the room, returning with a cart full of cleaning supplies and two buckets full of water, he was going to clean this place, and he was going to leave it spotless.

He had his iPod on him, sliding his finger on it to start off his music. Soon he had the place spotless, the dust was scrubbed off, the rust was taken off, and the spiderwebs were gone, it looked as good as new, and it awed Naruto. It truly looked like it would be more at home in Rome, under some catholic church. The Gothic style of the room made Naruto feel like he was not in his home, but more like at some church. He shook his head again and walked over to Sasuke.

He had taken him out of the sarcophagus with some difficulty, but he still got him out. He changed the velvet interior, throwing away the moth eaten rags and putting in new silky smooth velvet ones. He smiled as he looked at the coffin, it looked even better. His smile vanished when he turned around to stare at Sasuke's attire, the buttons were falling off and crumbling to dust, the pockets were ripped open, and his shoes were more like sand as they crumbled down like the buttons.

"Geez, I never knew clothes could decompose. It's a good think I still have Kyuubi's old tux with me." Naruto murmured out softly as he took Sasuke's jacket off. He carefully folded everything, placing it on the cart full of things as he undressed Sasuke. Sasuke moaned as he watched the blonde undress him, he could feel the soft, hands working over him, and could feel the hard on his body had.

Naruto carefully left the boxers on, seeing as they were still in good shape for two hundred year old boxers. He turned Sasuke around, grabbing a sponge and carefully cleaning every single spot of skin available to him. Sasuke could feel his body responding to the careful touch of the blonde as he slowly lathered his body with soap and water, cleansing the caked on dust off of his body.

Naruto, being too preoccupied in cleaning Sasuke, was oblivious to the rock hard cock his hands kept brushing up against, causing Sasuke a pleasurable torture that he enjoyed very much. Soon Sasuke was cleansed, and his hair proved itself to be a natural duck's butt, sticking up even when it was wet.

"Alright, lets get you into that tux." Naruto said softly as he helped Sasuke into the pants, finding that they were a snug fit, since it took a lot of effort to zip and button them up. Sasuke moaned in agony as his cock was confined, his solid cock wanting to stay out a little bit longer.

"Why? Why must you be so cruel to me … Naruto?" Sasuke moaned, rubbing on his cock to make it feel better, only to find that it brought more pain. Naruto was oblivious to the agony Sasuke was going through, buttoning up the tuxedo vest and straightening his tie. He carefully placed his birth plaque inside the tux, fastening it to the inside pocket as it had been in his other outfit.

"There, you look hansom, Now I'll just go leave these upstairs and I'll come back to finish up on you." Naruto whispered into Sasuke's ear, not knowing why he did it, but doing it anyway, leaning over him to place the can of candle oil beside his hip. Sasuke shivered in his spot, feeling the sensations his body had as Naruto's warm breathe ghosted over his cold one. Naruto stood up and took hold of the cart, rolling it out of there, but just as he reached the door to the tomb, both fires dimmed and went out, leaving him in utter darkness.

"Fuck!" Naruto growled, abandoning the cart and turning around, he knew he left the candle oil somewhere beside Sasuke's standing figure. He walked back in, his hands and feet being his only eyes as he made his way over to Sasuke. Soon his hand hit something long, hard, and just the size he knew it would be. He smiled triumphantly as he pulled on it, trying to get it back.

Sasuke moaned as he felt the sensations of Naruto pulling on him, it felt so delicious and satisfying to him, his body responded instantly and grew even harder in Naruto's hand, making the blonde gasp. "Oh, that's not the candle oil … Oh, OH! OH MY GOD! I'M FEELING UP A DEAD MAN!" Naruto yelled running out of there and leaving his stuff.

He ran through the corridors, straight to his room and far away from Sasuke's tomb. He jumped into his bed and hid himself, trying hard not to think about what he felt, but it was useless. Two days passed, Sasuke in agony since his erection had not gone away, and Naruto thinking up many unpleasant things of Sasuke's body. But he just could not help it.

"It was so big, and I just have this feeling of doing it, but I'm not into necrophilia! I'm not weird!" Naruto kept on repeating that, not allowing himself to be filled with those thoughts. He stood up and paced the room and thought about why he felt the need to … to do such a revolting act. The feel of Sasuke's lips when he touched them, the coldness of Sasuke's skin bringing a shiver of pleasure over his body when he washed him, and the tingling he felt once he realized that he was touching Sasuke. It was all so good to him, so pleasurable, so erotic. He couldn't stand it any longer, he was panting, his skin was slicked up with the sweat he made, and his body was in heat. He could feel the throbbing of his cock inside his boxers and knew that he had lost this battle.

He walked out of his room, not caring that he was only in his boxers as he made his way down to Sasuke's tomb, his heart rate rising and his thoughts running one one thing. "It's not necrophilia if the body never started the decomposition process." He said softly to himself as he rounded the corner to the hallway filled with mirrors and the giant nine tailed fox at the end, opened as he had last left it when he ran away two days ago. He walked down the hallway, catching a glimpse of himself in the mirror. His hair was disheveled, a permanent blush covered his cheeks, his eyes were dilated and had the look of a man gone crazy, the heat and lust had gotten to him, and now he was desperate.

He carried with him a candle and a small can of oil as he walked down, lighting the candle up and walked slowly down to Sasuke's room. There, standing in the exact same position Naruto had left him, was Sasuke. Nothing had changed about him, except that a lone spider bravely ventured out and made it's spiderweb between his foot and the wall. He still looked beautiful, still had that mysterious aura about him, still had that sexy look on him, he hadn't moved. Naruto walked over to him, the shivers on his almost naked body had nothing to do with the cold dampness of the tomb.

His pace was slow and careful, and his eyes were trained on Sasuke's face. "I don't know who you have been in your life when you were awake, I don't know what it was that you liked, but I want you." Naruto said softly into his ear, kissing it and moving away. He placed the candle beside Sasuke and emptied the small can into the fire bowl, lighting it up and moving back. Sasuke shivered, his aching hard on forgotten as he listened to Naruto's speech. Naruto sighed and closed his eyes, trying to back down, but not willing.

He opened his eyes, his hands finding the buttons of the tuxedo and working them free as he stood there quietly. Soon the last button was undone, and Sasuke's muscular chest was exposed to him. Naruto sighed and looked up at Sasuke's sleeping face, opening his mouth to speak once again as his hands slipped Sasuke's shirt and vest off and started for his pants.

"Please, I need this … forgive me." he said quietly, the pants giving way and falling to the floor. Slowly, Naruto lowered Sasuke to the floor, letting him lay there for a second until he straddled his lap, leaning up to kiss his cold, soft lips. Sasuke gasped, the feeling of lips over his own being so real, he really thought Naruto was there with him, touching him. Naruto moaned softly, snaking his tongue into the cold mouth he was kissing, rubbing his tongue against Sasuke's surprisingly moist tongue, rolling it around and pulling it into his mouth to suck on before placing it back into Sasuke's unresponsive mouth.

"Oh how I wish you would wake up." Naruto said softly against his mouth, moving down to his neck and placing soft kisses as he made his way down Sasuke's torso. Sasuke moaned and groaned softly, his ear picking up on Naruto's last comment and his head nodding in agreement. Naruto's mouth landed on one of Sasuke's nipples and he kissed it lovingly, not knowing where all the love was coming from, but not caring. His mouth glided down Sasuke's torso, stopping at the hem of Sasuke's boxers.

Sasuke was in heaven, that warm, sinful mouth was working wonders on his body and he liked it. Naruto pulled the boxers down slowly, only to find them ripping in two and falling off of Sasuke's hips. Naruto giggled slightly and got back to work, his mouth finding the base of Sasuke's cock and kissing it softly. He roved his tongue over Sasuke's cock, getting it wet with his spit as he massaged the tip. He knew Sasuke wouldn't feel it, but he found it erotic and he wanted to do it. His mouth landed on the tip, his hand moving away from it as his tongue came out to lick and flick at it. Sasuke moaned and arched his back, wanting so badly to be down there in his body, to enjoy the treatment even more and to show the blonde what his own mouth could do.

Naruto moaned as Sasuke's cock entered his mouth and his taste invaded his senses. His hand shot up and entered his mouth as well, getting his fingers wet as the other hand massaged the rest of Sasuke's monstrous length. Sasuke could feel the fingers beside his length, giving his cock an extra massage as Naruto's tongue roved over every inch it could get at. Naruto pulled his fingers out and moaned as he trailed them down his body, tweaking his nipples and ghosting them over his erection before he arrived at his entrance.

Sasuke wanted to be the one to stick his fingers in there, to feel Naruto's hot heat around him and moan in ecstasy as he moved them around. Naruto moaned around the cock in his mouth, now a third of the way in, his tongue roughly massaged the underside as he moaned in delight. His fingers moved fluidly as he quickly prepared himself, he couldn't hold it longer, he had to have it in him, fucking himself on something that didn't move. He pulled Sasuke's cock out and moaned loudly in need, sparing one glance at Sasuke.

"I'm so sorry, please understand!" Naruto said, killer desperation coloring his voice as he stood up and lowered himself over Sasuke's hard cock, whimpering slightly when he teased himself with Sasuke's cock, going just a little, and then backing off. He moaned slightly at the touch of Sasuke's cold cock touching his opening, kissing on it and letting go. He couldn't hold it, he was at his peak, and if he waited anymore, he would surely die. Carefully, he lowered himself, shivering as he felt the coldness of Sasuke's member enter him, claiming him. Slowly it went in with a 'pop', piercing his once virgin opening. True, he had played around with himself, but never had he had anyone enter him, and now here he was with a sleeping vampire, practically molesting him as he slept.

Sasuke moaned, the tightness of it all getting to him as Naruto slowly lowered himself onto him, giving him what he'd been craving for over two days. Naruto mewled and whimpered, finally impaling himself all of the way and waiting until he was comfortable enough to move. He panted and shivered, his eyes opening in wonderment as his vision was filled with white as Sasuke's cock slowly massaged his prostate. He panted with need as he thrust himself against Sasuke, moving in circles and raising himself to hit that wonderful spot once more.

"Ngh … ahhh … more!" Naruto moaned and mewled loudly, wildly moving himself against Sasuke's unmoving form, trying to get to his first climax. He bucked his hips, his cock jumping up and down continuously, hitting his and Sasuke's abs as he bounced rapidly on top of Sasuke. Sasuke moaned as he laid on the floor, watching the blonde fuck himself using his body. He could feel the heat of Naruto's ass, wrapping him in a secure blanket of warmth. He could feel every single thing, even the blonde's veins constricting him inside the muscles. His mouth watered on his body as the blonde leaned down and planted warm, soft kisses on his neck, face and chest, covering him in the delicious warmth that he so desperately craved.

The fire started to dim along the walls, only the candle stayed strong as Naruto wrapped a hand around his cock. He was so close, he was so close to what he wanted for so long, and yet it was still out of reach, then the fire along the walls went out, and only the candle stayed, giving the room an eerie look. Naruto opened his eyes and the first thought to come to his mind was to yell out, "AWAKE!"

Sasuke's eyes snapped open, and the blonde froze, his throbbing need forgotten as he stared into twin pools of onyx staring dangerously at him. His warm ass squeezing Sasuke as he tenses at the sight of him awake. Slowly, Sasuke sat up, his eyes conveying nothing, as he takes a deep breath and bites Naruto, drinking up his delicious blood. Naruto's back arched and he came, squeezing the life out of Sasuke as he had the most incredible orgasm in his life.

Slowly, he blacked out, slumping against that cold muscular chest for a few minutes before he came to, his eyes staring deeply into angry onyx ones. "Get up," it wasn't harshly said, but it had the undertone of anger. Naruto nodded and stood up quickly, cowering in fear as Sasuke took his time to get up, cracking his joints and staring directly at Naruto.

Suddenly, he pushed Naruto, threw him across the room to land harshly inside the coffin, his ass in the air. Sasuke was soon behind him, his erection poking Naruto and his mouth next to his ear, "You should be punished for doing something like that … if you had the power to awaken me, you should have done it first, instead of torture me with pleasure as you've been doing for the past hour." Sasuke said, his cold tongue slithering out to lick at Naruto's ear and make him shiver.

"I-I um … I d-didn't mean t-to-Ahhh!" Naruto said as Sasuke roughly shoved his erection back into the more than prepared hole, making Naruto arch into him, his hot tanned back pressing into a cold pale chest. Sasuke growled, slamming himself into the hot hole offered to him, thrusting into the one person who had been tormenting him ever since he saw him. Naruto mewled and moaned, arching his back and panting into Sasuke's ear, making the vampire more lust crazy as he began to tap into his vampiric speed, hitting Naruto's prostate head on and making Naruto come once more.

"AHHHHH!" Naruto moaned loudly, clutching at Sasuke's arms as he kept on going, hitting his prostate and abusing the patch of skin as he kept thrusting into Naruto, growling and groaning in a frenzy of uncontrolled vampiric lust. Sasuke smirked, he loved the sound of the blonde moaning loudly next to his ear, he loved the feeling of his ass, repeatedly convulsing around him as he fucked his lights out. "Hn … a-ahhh S-Sasuke!" Sasuke closed his eyes and enjoyed the sound of his name rolling off of that sinful mouth, the sound of it was like a symphony to his ears.

"I'm going to fuck you until you pass out, Naruto!" Sasuke groaned out loudly as he piston in and out of the blonde, his fingers hard at work on his nipples and cock, and his mouth licking and biting his neck, licking up the delicious blood that seeped out. Naruto moaned continuously, he was sure his ass was so loose from the abuse it was taking as Sasuke thrust in and out of him, making the blonde come time and time again.

When Sasuke came, it was a whole new level of high for the blonde as he felt the cold come rushing into him, making him moan louder and louder. Soon after that, his vision became a constant white, with black spots dancing around as Sasuke thrust into him once more, this time coming repeatedly along with Naruto, moaning into his ear as he hugged the blonde close and panted into his ear, Naruto not being able to take it, finally gave in and passed out.

His eyes opened once more and he could see Sasuke cradling him in his arms as he carried Naruto to his room.

"That's enough for tonight, we wouldn't want to break you." Sasuke chuckled as the blonde mewled and clutched his arms, hugging him tightly and calling to him to never leave.

"I won't leave you, Naruto." Sasuke whispered, entering the room and placing Naruto in the middle of the overly huge bed, the blue dildo/dead cock, catching his eyes.

"So we meet again, dead cock. Tonight, you've breathed your last breath!" Sasuke yelled, attacking the poor defenseless toy and tearing it to shreds. The poor toy never had a chance to defend himself as Sasuke tore it to a million tiny pieces, using his special skill to burn the shreds and laugh maniacally at the ashes.

"Tis not a dead cock S'uke. I-It's a sex toy, for those who are lonely." Naruto whimpered out, tears in his eyes as he watched his favorite toy die.

"You won't need it anymore." Sasuke said, a smirk on his face as he jumped into the bed and hugged the blonde close. Naruto smiled and went to sleep, knowing that his prince charming was right beside him, forever to be by his side.

The next morning found Naruto sleeping peacefully in bed, alone. His eyes wrenched open, the tears already coming out as he looked around the room. He could not, and would not believe what was happening. "Maybe he was just hungry? Besides, I really don't have any blood to give, since he took most last night." Naruto said as he calmly got off the bed, getting ready for the day as he talked to himself.

Morning soon turned into afternoon, which in turn soon turned into evening, and finally night, yet there was still no sight of Sasuke, he even checked the old tomb. Naruto sighed, playing the music as he began to cook his food and bring out the blood.

"I can't escape this hell, so many times I've tried. But I'm still caged inside. Somebody get me through this nightmare, I can't control myself. So what if you can see, the darker side of me, somebody help me tame this animal!" The song began as Naruto prepared the lasagna with blood, and a blood wine on the side. He knew of his family's curse, and he never did mind. As was said before, the Uzumaki clan was once a clan of vampires, one of the most powerful to say the least, but they gave it all up to be human, with the exception of taking care of other vampires if they should appear, and to drink blood here and there, but Naruto didn't mind.

"Why the hell not, can you not escape? And what the hell do I care if you're caged? Last time I heard from you, there was a guy who was obsessed with getting into bed with me! So why should I think you're any different?" Came a ranting yell from the living room, scaring the crap out of Naruto as he yelled and jumped two feet in the air, turning around and seeing Sasuke, a smirk on his face, and two others behind him, both carrying …

"Dad? Kyuubi? What's going on?" Sasuke quirked an eyebrow and sniffed the air, his eyes flashing red as he identified the blood in the food.

"Why are you cooking your food with blood, Naruto?" Sasuke asked, narrowing his eyes at how the blonde man could cook using that ingredient.

"I'm an Uzumaki, our clan curse calls for it. What are you guys doing with my father and cousin, and what is going on here?" Naruto asked, glaring at the three men.

"Eh, well … they sort of passed out and we haven't been able to wake them up since two days ago, then Sasuke came and found us and told us of you and we thought you might be able to help." The long haired one said. Naruto nodded and sighed, motioning them to come closer, picking up his bottle of wine and tipping some into each of their mouths, making sure both drank up.

Soon they both woke up, both whimpering at Naruto's glare. "You both did not do as I said and went to get food did you? Do you think next time these guys will be there to get you to me?" Naruto yelled as he walked closer to them, watching as they both took steps away from him.

"S-Sorry, Naruto!" Kyuubi said, making a get away as Minato followed after him.

"GET BACK HERE SO I CAN KICK YOUR ASSES!" Naruto yelled, running after them and leaving three very confused vampires.

"So that's your new mate, huh? Looks cute." Fugaku said as he sat down, helping himself to a piece of lasagna and some wine as Sasuke and Itachi joined him.

"Yeah, he does. Looks just like his father, and that cousin of his has his eyes." Itachi said, as he sat down next to his father and turned to stare at the running ukes.

"Thanks." Sasuke said, him too watching as Naruto chased his cousin and father. He was planning on spending the rest of his live with that blonde, and now since he knew he was an Uzumaki, he was planning on making it an eternity.

"How did you two meet?" Itachi asked, watching as Naruto smacked the others with a foam bat. He winced when Kyuubi yelled in pain, the foam bat having hit where the sun did not shine.

"I met Mito Uzumaki and Hashirama Senju long ago, they made me sleep and then he found me. I've been here with him for about two weeks, but last night … last night I fucked him into unconsciousness." Sasuke said with a smirk, knowing Naruto heard him as his cheeks turned bright red. Naruto growled and turned to him, using his own speed to surprise the raven haired trio as he suddenly appeared in front of them all.

"I hope you're all not eating all of my food! And Sasuke … you won't be getting any sex from me anymore!" Naruto growled out, his eyes momentarily turning red before he turned and walked out of the kitchen, leaving a scared looking Uchiha trio.

"Your mate is scary Sasuke-chan." Itachi said, smirking as Sasuke growled and walked after the blonde, he didn't care what the blonde did, as long as he didn't leave him. And sex? Sasuke without his blonde sex god was like the world without the sun, it was like everyone without air, it was like the end of the world!

"He'll come around, he needs to. And after what you've told me, it seems the horsemen are on the move again. It won't be long until they find us, and then what? If we've found three Uzumakis who have Senju blood as well, there is bound to be more vampires out there." Sasuke growled out, watching as his blonde smiled and played nice with the others.

"Sasuke's right, we're in the middle of a cold, silent war between the supernatural and those damn hunters, if word gets out that we're all alive, the last of the Uchiha royalty, then we'll bring death and destruction to us." Fugaku growled out, glaring at the rising moon as it shined over them.

"You said you've met Hyuugas, Itachi?" Sasuke asked, his ears warily catching everything being said.

"Yeah, I woke up with father about ten years ago, we've been looking for you, but on our journey, we met two of them." Sasuke nodded, if they didn't get this settled, a war would be raised, and the Bijuus would be disturbed. If that should happen, it was the end of the world for them all, and this time, Sasuke was not being dramatic. He took one look at his blonde as did his father and brother, he knew what he had to do … he had to go into war.

[:o][:o][:o][:o][:o]The end of my crappy one-shot![o:][o:][o:][o:][o:]