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Tuesday, September 22, 2009

People Watching

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People Watching

by: Aedien

AN: Wow! Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed and favorited! This was actually the first fan fic I've every written. I wasn't planning on posting it, but my sister changed my mind; now I'm glad I did! Thank you so much for the constructive criticism, I think it'll help me become a better writer. I hope to post more stories that everyone can enjoy.

I yawn and lean back on the warm tile of the roof that I am currently lounging on. A cool breeze sweeps over me and I smile, enjoying a day off from missions. Normally Shikamaru would be by my side watching the clouds go by; or maybe asleep, sometimes it’s hard to tell. There’s no rest for him today; after he was promoted to chunnin he quickly became an important part of Konoha’s administration. Oh, he still goes on missions, but now that impressive brain of his is also responsible for all sorts of the planning, tests and events that are part of the ninja community. I can’t help but laugh at the idea of him grumbling as he drags his lazy ass all over the city and Hokage tower, doing paperwork and delivering documents. I swear I can almost hear him saying “troublesome” as I picture him in my mind’s eye.

Shikamaru is just one of the many interesting people that I work with. I like to watch people; it’s just another thing that Shikamaru and I have in common; I’m not anywhere near as intelligent as he is, but I know a thing or two. I’m very aware of what I look like, and it suits me just fine. Believe me, I can think for myself, and though no one ever sees it, Shikamaru and I don’t always see eye to eye, but in battle I’m content to be his muscle. I can think on my feet, but that guy can think circles around; well, everyone. Most of the time I’m overlooked; you wouldn’t think that would be possible given my size, but hey, it’s surprising what people can ignore when they think that something or someone isn’t worth their attention.

That brings my thoughts to our newly returned comrade. He’s been away for almost three years now; the other day I saw him for the first time since he’s been back. He’s changed a lot; even more than Sakura and those kids have given him credit for. I saw it, and I know Shikamaru did too; he carries himself differently. He’s powerful; I can tell that without having to see him fight, that alone should tell everyone a lot about how he’s changed. In the past he actively flaunted it every time he learned a new jutsu, now he just smiles and says that his training “went well.” He still acts like the same over-the-top hyperactive ninja that we all know and love, but there is an underlying calm and confidence that the others miss because they aren’t as aware of others as they like to delude themselves into thinking. That’s probably because they never spend hours just watching people the way we do. We each did it for different reasons; me because I thought I wouldn‘t be welcomed, Shikamaru because he didn’t care if he was welcomed, and Naruto because he knew he would be rejected. It’s become a habit now; Shikamaru and I usually sit up here together just watching the world go by.

To some people it might seem boring, but our lives have enough excitement without going looking for it. Once in a while we get Naruto to join us, but I think it makes him self-conscious, he’s completely comfortable around us; we know that. The fact of the matter is he can be honest and say what he wants around us without having to worry about getting us overly worried over him or having us coo over him in pity the way the others would. We know life isn’t roses for everyone and when he says that something’s bothering him; we know he’s just saying it to get it off of his chest, not because he wants us to pull out the pity wagon and a box of tissues. Sakura and the others don’t realize how much they miss about him; he keeps everything to himself because he doesn’t want to worry anyone; more than that, he just doesn’t want them to know. He knows they only do it because they care…well, he knows it now, but when they worry about him they force him to keep thinking about the things that hurt him because they keep bringing it up, he dwells on things enough on his own.

The real problem is that when he sits quietly for too long he starts to hear the whispers of the villagers too clearly and even now it’s a habit. Shikamaru and I always thought it should be obvious to everyone why he insists on being so damn loud; if he’s quiet then the only thing he’d hear would be the curses and insults of the citizens. Shikamaru figured out a long time ago why they treat him that way; that’s why we never get annoyed with him. Sometimes I think Naruto knows that we know, but he doesn’t say anything, so we don’t either. That’s why he likes to talk too, if someone is talking to him then he can focus on the conversation rather than the abuse that’s being directed at him. He never tunes anyone out; even if he was being yelled at, to him, it’s better than the gossip going on behind his back. It’s really unfair. He’s a good guy; he always has been, a lot of people were just too stupid and self absorbed to notice.

Its better these days, he’s made friends and fought hard to earn the respect of the ninja and some of that translates to the villagers as well. As far as I can tell there aren’t any ninja that hate him anymore; even if they aren’t his friends, we all have to respect his determination and his dedication to the village. The villager’s aren’t as simple to deal with. Sometimes they still whisper nasty things to each other behind his back, knowing full well that he can hear them, but not caring. I think it hurts him more now than it did before, the fact that it’s less frequent and from fewer people means that those are the people who hate him most passionately. They’re the ones who will never accept him no matter how hard he tries; they don’t even know that they are the ones losing something precious.

They’ve never been in a life or death situation watching as Naruto swears to protect his friends and his village with that determined look in his eye. They’ve never been in a situation where he jumps in out of nowhere and saves their ass then turns and grins at them with a thumbs up and an outstretched hand to help them to their feet. They just can’t understand how close something like that can bring two people. That’s the real reason that the ninjas are such a close knit group. We’re a community within a community, with bonds forged through danger and mutual support. No one gives a damn about the “shinobi should have no emotions” rule; that’s a bunch of bullshit; sometimes emotions are the only things that can save us. It’s impossible to keep from getting attached to one another when everyday our lives rely on our comrades; our need for one another in the field inevitably becomes an attachment that carries over into our everyday lives. It may be strange that Shikamaru and I spend so much time thinking about Naruto, but he’s our best friend, aside from each other. Well, maybe I shouldn’t say that, he’s everyone’s best friend; Sakura, Iruka-sensei, Kiba, Hinata, Neji, Lee, Gaara, Ten-ten (surprisingly), even Shino seems to think of Naruto as a close friend even though I haven’t ever seen them speak more than two words to each other. Even Ino, our Ino, seemed thrilled when she heard he was back. I guess he’s just that kind of guy.

I stand and stretch as I walk to the edge of the roof; all this thinking has made me hungry. I don’t know why I’m thinking this much on my day off; maybe I’ve been hanging around Shikamaru too much lately. I look down into the crowded street wondering where I should go for lunch. As I gaze down into the street my eye is drawn to a strikingly blond head of hair weaving through the throngs of villagers running their errands. There are very few blonds in Konoha, but the spiky hair and the glimpses of orange that I catch as he slips through the crowd leaves me with only one option. Well, speak of the devil… or Kitsune as the case may be. I watch him as he moves with the flow of the crowd towards the building that I am standing on; he weaves fluidly through the crowd, not touching anyone; just another habit he picked up as a kid. I can tell he’s not really focused on anything; he has a blank look on his face and a faraway look in his eyes. Maybe that’s why he didn’t see that guy coming; Naruto moves out of the way of a woman carrying a large basket of food without thinking about it. At the same time a man moves into Naruto’s path, purposely bumping into him. Naruto seems surprised by the contact and his head snaps up as he stumbles back a step; I see him start to mumble an apology to the man, but he’s cut off as the villager takes the opportunity that he created to yell at my friend. From where I’m standing I can’t hear what he said, but Naruto’s eyes widen in horror, then his eyes darken and his gaze falls to the ground. He starts to walk away, but he is forced to flip back over the crowd as the man takes a clumsy swing at him. He unconsciously gathers his chakra to his feet and lands on the side of the building across from where I’m standing. The man yells one last insult at him before walking away secure in his own self-righteousness; I frown after him as Naruto crouches against the wall of the building with his eyes glued to his feet. While he isn’t looking I send a well-aimed rock right into the middle of the aggressor’s back and he doubles over in pain dropping his purchases. I smile in satisfaction.

The villagers are watching Naruto, giving him sidelong glances; they try to be discrete, but Naruto and I know both know what they are looking at. No one says anything, but for a moment Naruto looks lost and pathetic and he shrinks against the side of the building; I guess he’s trying to think of a way to get away from the scene without drawing further attention to himself. People like that really piss me off; they treat him like dirt, but they never look at his eyes; even if Naruto never said a word, his eyes speak volumes, once you learn how to read them. He glances around searching for an opening to get his feet back on the street, without a second thought I raise my hand high over my head and wave to him, “Hey! Naruto! Over here!”

His blue eyes immediately hone in on my position, his eyes light up and he grins from ear to ear as he waves back enthusiastically. I wave him over; he pushes off the wall and with one jump he lands in front of me.

“Hey Chouij! How’s it going?”

“Hi Naruto. I’m good. Are you okay? That guy was a real asshole.”

He blushes lightly, “Ah, you saw that huh?”

I nod, “Yeah, you know he ran into you on purpose right?”

Pain flashes in his eyes for a fraction of a second, he covers it quickly, but I still regret bringing it up, “Yeah, I know.” he smiles, “It’s not a big deal. Some people just have nothing better to do.”

I smile back at him; I know better. I know that isn’t what that guy was after, but it would just hurt him if I push the subject so I let it slide.

“Yeah, what a loser huh?”

His smile becomes less forced, “So what are you up to today?”

“I’m enjoying a well earned day off. How about you?”

He grins again, and this one is genuine, “Just got done with some training for today, but I have the rest of the day off.”

I place a hand on his shoulder, “Good. I was just about to go to lunch. You want to come?”

His face lights up, “Sure! What did you have in mind?”

I know what he wants to hear, but I keep him in suspense for a moment as I pretend to think about it; we both know what I’ll say; but it’s just more fun that way, “Hmm, how about Ichiraku’s?”

He punches the air, “YES! That sounds great Chouji!! No one else appreciates my love of ramen the way you do!!”

I grin at him, “Yeah, y’know I just don’t think they get it. I’ll pay since you paid last time okay?”

His eyes get round and watery with joy, “REALLY!!! Thanks Chouji!! You’re the best!”

“Well that’s the deal right? We trade off.”

He laughs then glares good-naturedly in the direction of the Hokage tower, “Yeah, but you’re honest about it. Shikamaru always tries to trick me into paying.”

I laugh with him, “Yeah that sounds about right. He does that to me too. When there are three of us we each pay for ourselves, maybe that’s the real reason he likes doing things one on one. He can trick us into paying for him.”

“Haha! Or maybe he’s too lazy to focus on more than one person at a time.”

“Hahaha, maybe, sometimes I wonder with that guy.” I smile, “He’s changed a bit while you were gone. Well, either that or the world in general has figured out how to be less ‘troublesome’”

He laughs, it’s a nice sound, I like it when he laughs. Not his fake laugh that he uses when he’s trying to divert everyone from what he’s really thinking; his real laugh, the one that he uses when he’s relaxed. I feel lucky because I’m one of the few people who have heard it; it’s special since it’s not something he does often. No one else in Konoha laughs like that; it’s like he puts everything into it because he’s had so little to really laugh about. It’s infectious too; when he laughs, I laugh with him; even Shikamaru with his normally calm and uninterested exterior can’t help but be drawn into it.

I look down into the crowded streets; that jerk is still hanging around, probably trying to figure out who threw that rock. It doesn’t take a genius to realize that someone did that on purpose. He keeps glaring up at us, he probably thinks that Naruto did it and I realize now why he never retaliates; it‘s a mistake. At the time I had just wanted to give that guy a little dose of karma, but now he hates Naruto even more and he feels probably feels more justified than he did before.

I hear a small groan off to my left; damn it; I let myself get distracted for too long and Naruto is standing by my side to see what I’m looking at. I glance at him out of the corner of my eye; he has a strange look on his face; sad, understanding, and wistful all at once. He turns to face me and gratitude dominates his features, making his eyes shine, “Well, what are we standing around here for? There’s ramen waiting for us.”

I nod, “Let’s go over the roofs. It’s too crowded down there.”

“Yeah, sounds like a plan.”

We jump to the next roof, casually, taking our time. I feel like an idiot, I underestimated him, I thought he hadn’t noticed when I threw that rock, but I was wrong. What I don’t understand is the gratitude in his eyes when he looked at me.

“Hey Naruto…”

He turns to me and grins as we jump easily to the next roof, “Yeah? What’s up? You look really serious all of a sudden.”

I frown and without thinking he mirrors my expression; another rooftop, “I’m sorry about that.”

He looks confused, “Huh?”

I sigh, “The rock. I figure you saw that.”

He blinks at me, “Oh yeah. Don’t worry about it. Anyway, what do you have to be sorry for?”

“He probably thinks you did it. Now he’s going to think even less of you.”

He smiles wearily and shakes his head, “He’s always going to hate me no matter what. Nothing is going to change that, and I don’t think you could make it any worse.” his eyes darken a bit, “There are some people that are always going to hate me no matter what I do.”

He suddenly brightens as he turns to look me full in the face, “That just means I have to cherish my friends that much more.”

I’m still confused, “But why the gratitude. I saw that when you looked at me. I could have made things worse and you seemed to appreciate it.”

He laughs, the one I enjoy so much, and I feel my face smiling on its own, “Well I can’t say I didn’t think it was funny. The real reason it made me happy is because it means you care enough to worry about me.”

We turn a corner and for a moment he is out of sight as we jump around opposite sides of a water tower. It’s amazing the way the smallest of gestures can make him happy; and I’m reminded once again of how complicated this guy is. In all honesty he has me pegged pretty well. I reacted because that villager hurt one of my friends; if had been anyone else, I don’t think I would have thrown the rock, but Naruto is a special case. No matter what he says, his self-esteem is fragile at best; something he forced together like two mismatched puzzle pieces. That’s why we’re all protective of him; each in our own way. Sure we tease him, but none of us every really tries to bring him down. We all have an unfair advantage over him; he’d do anything for his friends because we’re all he has. I see his weaknesses and I know that if we pushed just right we could break him and he wouldn’t be able to get up again, but we don’t push and he trusts us.

An instant later he’s back in sight and we jump to the next building.

I grin at him, “Yeah well, you’re so hopeless that we all have to watch out for you.”

He tosses his head and laughs, “Oh really? I must be quite a handful if it takes everyone just to keep up!”

It’s so easy to make him laugh; his life is so complicated that simple things tickle him more than anything else. He knows I’m just teasing and to him that is just another sign reminding him of the closeness of our bond. It must be interesting to be his teammate. I steer away from that last thought because thinking of his team just pisses me off.

“Yeah, of course when you’re jumping around like a kid all the time.”

We laugh as we jump the next couple of buildings. He slows down and waves to someone on the street. I slow down as well and move to his side to see who he’s waving at. Shikamaru is walking casually along the street with his hands in his pockets. He sees us and nods with a small smile; he stops when Naruto leaps off of the building and lands in front of him with a grin, I follow wondering what Shikamaru has been up to today.

Naruto leans on Shikamaru’s shoulder; he likes the contact, it reaffirms his affection for his friends and Shikamaru doesn‘t seem to mind, “Hey Shikamaru! We were just talking about you. How’s it going?”

Shikamaru raises an eyebrow, “Hey guys. So you have nothing better to do than talk about me huh?”

I grin, “We can’t help it if you’re just sooooo interesting.”

Naruto chuckles at my sarcasm, “Yeah that must be it.”

Shikamaru glares good-naturedly at us, then he leans on me; now I’m half supporting them both, but I don’t mind.

“What are you up to today Shikamaru?”

He smiles, “I finished for today. I pawned my leftover errands off on some rookie, so I’m set.”

Naruto wrinkles his nose at him, “Lazy ass.”

Shikamaru laughs, “I never claimed otherwise.”

We laugh; this is turning out to be a good day; good company, and soon, good food.

“We were heading over to get ramen for lunch. Come with us Shikamaru. I’m paying.”

Shikamaru’s eyebrow goes up again, “You’re generous today, what’s the occasion?”

I shrug, “Nothing, but I already promised Naruto that I would pay. You won’t eat nearly as much as we will. What’s another bowl or two?”

Shikamaru grins, “Well when you put it that way, who am I to turn you down?”

Naruto wraps his other arm around Shikamaru’s neck, “Awesome! Having lunch with you guys is one of the things I missed the most while I was away! Let’s go!!”

Shikamaru grunts as Naruto puts more weight on him, “Ugh! Naruto! You’re too heavy to lay on me like that! Get off bastard!”

Naruto laughs and releases his hold on Shikamaru, “Hahaha Sorry Shikamaru! I forgot that you’re so weak!”

Shikamaru reaches over to smack the back of Naruto’s head, but Naruto moves with the flow of his hand and avoids the blow only to drape himself over Shikamaru’s shoulders again, “Ha, too slow Shikamaru!” he turns to me, “Let’s go already, I’m starving!”

Shikamaru lifts an eyebrow at the other teen, “Damn Naruto, do you have to be so loud? So troublesome…”

He says it like he means it, but Naruto and I can’t take him seriously when he smiles at us like that, “Yeah, all this talk has made me hungrier.”

“Alright!” Naruto straightens up and with almost no effort at all he springs to the top of the building that we had just come from.

Shikamaru looks disappointed, “Damn, why are you traveling by rooftop any way? You can’t be in that much of a hurry, Ichiraku’s isn’t going anywhere.”

I shake my head, “That’s not why. There was a little incident in the marketplace.”

I watches me intently so I quickly sum up the scene for him; it only takes a second, but just as I finish Naruto leans over the side of the building, “HEY GUYS!! Hurry the hell up! What’s taking so long?”

We look up and I shout back at him, “Yeah, yeah! We’re coming!”

He disappears over the roof once more and Shikamaru sighs, “Some people still can’t get over themselves, damn assholes. He doesn’t deserve that.”

Without another word on the subject he jumps onto an awning and then to the roof where Naruto is waiting. I smile because I know that if he had been there it wouldn’t have been a rock that hit that guy in the back. I follow Shikamaru to the roof and Naruto gives us his wide foxy grin, “It’s about time! For a minute there I thought I would have to go by myself!”

Shikamaru snorts, “Yeah right. It wouldn’t be fair for us to let you loose on the other, casual ramen patrons.”

Naruto chuckles and jumps to the next roof, keeping an easy pace. We easily fall into step with him, taking our time and enjoying familiar company. As we talk Shikamaru sends a contented glance in my direction and I know we are thinking the same thing: it’s almost like he never left. We’ve changed a lot over these few years, and so has he, but there is no awkwardness, no getting reacquainted. We don’t need it, our camaraderie is much deeper than that and I wonder if the rest of our friends will feel the same way when they see him. A few moments later we arrive in front of Ichiraku’s; Naruto stops at the edge of the roof and inhales deeply, “Ahhh, that smells soooo good!!”

While he stands there Shikamaru and I jump into the street, leaving him on the roof alone, he opens his eyes and looks down at us, “Hey Guys! Wait for me!!”

He joins us just as we are sitting down at the counter; Shikamaru at the end, Naruto in the middle and me on his other side, I don‘t know why, but it usually ends up that way. Old man Ichiraku greets us warmly, “Ah my best customers!” I’m glad to see you back Naruto! How did your training go?”

Naruto grins at the old man, “Great thanks! I learned a lot.”

Ichiraku smiles, “Glad to hear it boy. We’re counting on you to defend Konoha!”

Naruto’s grin widens and he gives a thumbs up, “Of course!! No one is hurting Konoha while I’m around!”

“Hang on I’ll make you boys something special alright?”

Now we’re all grinning at him, “Thanks Old man!!” Being Naruto’s friend has a lot of extra benefits.

Fifteen minutes later Naruto and I are well into our second bowl and Shikamru is almost done with his first. The conversation ranges from weapons, to changes in Konoha, to the exotic foreign women that Naruto encountered on his travels. I roll my eyes with a laugh; I knew Shikamaru would want to bring that up. Ha, I knew he couldn’t spend that much time around Jiraiya-sama and not come back with some interesting stories involving some interesting ladies, and of course we want to know every detail, teenage hormones and all that…right. Ichiraku is listening intently as he cooks our noodles, but I can tell he and Naruto are both glad that Ayame is out on deliveries. Come to think of it, so am I, there is no way Naruto would say what he’s saying in the company of the ‘fairer sex,’ heh, he’s a gentleman no matter what, that “Sexy Harem no Jutsu” is mild compared to some of the stuff we guys talk about, and the strategically placed clouds do a lot to tone that jutsu down when in the company of the ladies or the general public.

Suddenly the peacefulness of the afternoon is shattered by the sound of Konoha’s flattest kunoichi stomping in our direction, “NARUTO!!!”

Naruto cringes at the approach of his pink-haired teammate; he cautiously leans back on his stool and peers around the edge of the stall, “Ah… Sakura-chan…?”

Shikamaru rolls his eyes and swears, “She is so damn loud! She makes Naruto seem like a fucking mute!”

The medic nin appears around the edge of the stand and swings a fist at Naruto’s exposed head; he cringes, but doesn’t move. “DAMN IT NARUTO!!” Her fist connects with his cheek and sends him sprawling to the ground with a nice bruise and blood on his lip.

Shikamaru looks annoyed, “What the hell? He could have dodged that!”

I glare at the back of the girl’s head, “Seriously, she’s strong, but he’s a lot faster than her.”

Naruto just looks up at the girl who is cracking her knuckles as she stands over him, “Ugh…ouch…..Sakura-chan what was that for?”

She grabs him by his collar and hauls him to his feet, by now Shikamaru and I are on our feet as well. Shikamaru looks like he’s going to reason with her, “Hey Sakura, what the hell is going on? We’re trying to have lunch in case you hadn’t noticed, what’s with the bitching?”

Well….maybe not reason with her. Naruto has his feet under him again, but she still has him by the collar and he makes no effort to free himself. I just don’t get the strange masochistic relationship he has with her, he lets her beat the crap out of him for things that aren’t even his fault, as though the air headed bitch is his mother. I don’t see how what he does is any of her damn business, but he lets her do what she wants so I don’t voice my opinion.

She continues yelling at Naruto, completely ignoring Shikamaru, “Naruto! You’re coming to Tsunade-sama’s office NOW!”

Naruto scrunches up a little bit, “But Sakura-chaaaaann! We’re eating lunch!!!”

She punches the top of his head, “Well you’re done now!”

He starts to look annoyed, she should know by now not to stand between a blond and his ramen, “What the hell Sakura-chan? What did I DO anyway?”

She sighs and looks at him like he’s the biggest idiot on the planet; and believe me, he isn’t. “Well how about we start with throwing rocks at civilians Naruto! You aren’t a kid anymore!! What were you thinking!? That man came to Hokage tower with the bruise to prove it!!”

Naruto tries to get out of her grasp, “Sakura-chan!! You believed that asshole? I didn’t do anything!”

A vein pulses in her head, “Naruto! He had witnesses! Including a ninja!!” she pulls back to punch him again and he cringes, but this time I catch her fist.

She looks at me shocked, “Chouji-kun? This has nothing to do with you.”

I twist her wrist slightly and force her to release Naruto and Shikamaru pulls him to his side, “Just shut the hell up for two damn seconds and we can tell you what really happened.”

She looks confused, I push her fist back towards her; she’s strong, but she still can’t match me for brute strength, “He didn’t throw the rock at that guy. I did.”

She blinks then her jaw drops, “WHAT!?”

Shikamaru plugs his ears until she stops ranting, “Shit Sakura, don’t you trust your own teammate at all?”

Naruto is staring at his feet, I can tell he doesn’t want to talk about what really happened, but that’s the only way to get this pink-haired monkey off his back. For the second time today I replay the events of the incident for our comrades, “See? That guy attacked Naruto first, and Naruto didn’t even say anything to him, I threw the rock because I can’t stand assholes like that. He deserved it.”

She looks between the sullen Naruto and myself, “Well…that does seem a lot more likely than what the villager told us. Naruto, we still have to go tell Tsunade-sama. She said she wanted to talk to you about it.”

Naruto sighs then turns to Ichiraku, “Hey old man…”

Ichiraku smiles, “I’ll keep it warm for you kiddo, take your time.”


He turns to Shikamaru and me, “Hey guys…”

Shikamru rolls his eyes, “Don’t bother, we’ll come with you.”

I put my hand on his shoulder and grin at him, “We’ll finish lunch when we’re done. Besides, I have to take responsibility for my actions.”
He smiles up at me, “Thanks Chouji.”

Sakura leads the way to Hokage tower and less than three minutes later we’re entering Godaime’s office. As we approach her desk she signs a piece of paper then sets it aside and looks up at us. Her calm expression immediately changes when she sees the dark bruise on Naruto’s cheek and the dried blood on his lips. “Naruto? Don’t tell me what that obnoxious villager said was true?”

He shakes his head, “You know I wouldn’t do that baa-chan.”

She frowns, “Then who..?”

Shikamaru butts in, knowing that Naruto probably won’t mention that Sakura did it, “Ask your violent apprentice over there. She appeared out of nowhere and suddenly started beating on him before we even knew why the hell she was there in the first place.”

She turns and glares at her student who’s expression changes from embarrassed to fearful, “Sakura! What the hell were you thinking? I just sent you to FIND HIM!!! Why would you attack him without knowing the full situation!!!? What kind of Shinobi are you!!!??”

Sakura tries to mumble an excuse; Tsunade has crossed the space between the younger woman and her desk and starts yelling at her for having poor ninja qualities. If Naruto didn’t have such a serious look on his face, I would laugh.

Naruto shuffles his feet anxiously, uncomfortable with this turn of events. Tsunade finally relents and returns to sit on the edge of her desk, “So what did happen?”

Naruto opens his mouth to speak, but I step in before him, “I threw the rock Godaime-sama. That jerk ran into Naruto on purpose just to get a chance to yell at him. When Naruto tried to walk away, the man insulted him and tried to punch him. I know that none of the villagers are capable of hurting Naruto, but I still wanted him to get little dose of karma. That’s all there is to it. Naruto didn’t do anything wrong, he was barely involved.”

Tsunade nods, “Yeah I thought it might have been something like that.” she gives me a look that makes me suspect that she knows that we figured things out.

She reaches out and takes Naruto’s hand and pulls him towards her, he allows himself to be moved and soon he is standing between her knees, “Well your cheek isn’t bad, but the lump on your head must hurt.” she glares daggers at Sakura, “Triple training for you today!! I’m going to work your ass off for your lack of patience and trust in your comrades!!”

Sakura jumps then stares at her feet; Shikamaru smirks in satisfaction, I smile too, it’s nice to see that self-righteous brat getting chewed out for once.

Godaime’s hands glow with chakra and she places one hand on Naruto’s cheek and the other on the top of his head, “There you go kid, you’ll be all set in no time.”

The chakra on her hands vanishes and she holds Naruto at arms length examining him, she smiles and pats him on the head, “Alright, good as new.”

His eyes are still fixed on his feet and he has a frown on his face. We all watch him intently wondering what he’s thinking; he finally looks up at her and tries to force a smile, “Thanks Baa-chan.”

Godaime’s eyes soften; not surprising; he always was her favorite, “Naruto…”

She sighs then tugs him into her arms; I am surprised when he allows her to hold him. His head rests on her ample breasts, but he doesn’t make any lewd comments; she wraps her arms around his shoulders in a motherly fashion and tucks his head under her chin. I’m surprised again when he wraps his arms loosely around her waist and closes his eyes, sighing in contentment. Shikamaru looks at me and we seem to be feeling the same thing; we’re witnessing an uncommon display of tenderness from both of them and I get the feeling that they’ve forgotten us; it isn’t something anyone else is meant to see. We stand quietly as she comforts him in a way that only she can; Sakura seemed to be as shocked as we were by this turn of events, but she knows she’s already in trouble, so I doubt she’ll say anything.

Godaime whispers something into his ear and he gives her a little squeeze, I can’t see his face, but by the expression on Godaime’s face, he said something back to her, something she was hoping to hear. She releases her hold on him and he takes a step back from her, I still can’t see his face, but I can imagine him smiling.

“Sorry about the mess with that guy baa-chan. What do you want me to do?”

Suddenly Godaime is all business and any trace of their previous tenderness vanishes from them both. “You don’t need to worry about him. I’ll take care of that little liar. As for the ninja and the others who were collaborating his story, I’ll deal with them as well.” She turns and looks at me and I realize that we were not forgotten, our presence was just unimportant when compared to her favorite shinobi’s wounded feelings. “As for you Chouji…”

I stand up straighter, willing to accept my punishment, “Yes Tsunade-sama?”

She grins at me, “There will be no punishment for you. I’ll have to make a report of the incident to appease that damn council or those old-farts will be riding my ass for the next month. I’ll just put in that you were defending a comrade from an unprovoked attack.” she smirks at us, “Just let them dare to contend that.”

Naruto turns and flashes a foxy smile in my direction; “Yeah, I knew she’d understand!” he turns back to her, “You’re the best baa-chan!!”

She stands and ruffles his hair, “Yeah, yeah, someone has to keep you out of trouble. You’re just like your teacher. You and Jiraya are both a pain in the ass.”

Naruto pretends to pout, “Baaaaa-chaaaaan!!! What the hell is that supposed to mean!!!!?? There is NO WAY I’m as perverted as Ero-sennin!!!!”

Godaime taps him playfully on his forehead, “Quit whining kid! I swear I’m spoiling you! You’ll turn into a brat at this rate. Well, you‘re free to go you three.”

Naruto smiles at the good-natured teasing; “Cool! We can get back to our lunch! I’m still hungry!! Hey, hey! Baa-chan! Do you want to come with us?”

She shakes her head and sits behind her desk, “Sorry, not today Naruto. I have to finish this paperwork today or Shizune will bug me all night.”

Naruto looks a little disappointed, but he smiles at her anyway, “Oh, okay, I understand.”

Godaime rolls her eyes and smiles at him again, “Ha, you really are spoiled. How about this kid? Come by around the same time tomorrow and we’ll go to lunch. Okay?”

Naruto punches the air with a huge grin on his face, I smile with him and I can see Shikamaru smiling out of the corner of my eye, “Awesome! I’ll be here!!”

He turns to Sakura, who is still standing quietly (for once) behind us. I see Shikamaru grimace, we both know what he is going to say, neither of us likes the idea, but we put up with her because he likes her, “Hey Sakura-chan, do you want to come with us?”

She opens her mouth to answer, but Godaime interrupts her, “Sorry Naruto, she can’t go either, she has a lot of training to do, she’s going to be up half the night as it is.” She glares at her apprentice over some papers, sending shivers down everyone’s spine, though Naruto seems unaffected by the look. Apparently her anger towards the kunoichi has cooled, but is not forgotten.

Naruto smiles and waves at them both as he heads for the door, “Alright then. Bye baa-chan. Bye Sakura-chan, good luck.” he turns to Shikamaru and me, “Let’s go guys. Our ramen won’t stay hot forever!”

He bounds out of the room excitedly, exiting through the window and back onto the rooftops. With a nod to our Hokage, Shikamaru and I follow.

We fall back into our familiar pace as we hop from one roof to the next, Shikamaru is watching Naruto out of the corner of his eye and I can’t help but wonder what his impressive brain is working on.

“Hey Naruto…”

Nice. It looks like I won’t have to ask.

Naruto grins at him, “Yeah?”

Shikamaru cocks his head at our blond friend in a questioning gesture, “What did she say to you?”

Naruto seems confused, “Hmmmm? You were there.” he laughs, “Or did you fall asleep standing up?”

I laugh at the indignant look on Shikamaru’s face, “Ha, I’ve seen you do that too!”

Shikamaru sends a glare in my direction, but ignores Naruto’s question, “No dumbass. What did she say when she hugged you?”

Naruto laughs again; the nice one, the one that makes us laugh with him, “Oh that.” he looks ahead at the sun that is beginning to set, “She said, ’I missed you brat.”

Now I’m curious too, “So what did you say back to her?”

He turns to me and laughs again, “What do you think? I said, ‘I missed you too you hag.’”

Shikamaru shakes his head and laughs loudly, “Damn Naruto, only you could get away with calling the leader of the strongest shinobi village in the world a ‘hag’!”

We jump off the roof and back onto the street then back into Ichiraku’s stand. True to his word our ramen is still piping hot and waiting for us on the counter.

Naruto waves at the older man, “Hey, we’re back.” He spots the bowls waiting for us, “How did you know we were coming?”

Ichiraku smiles and waves a spoon at us, “Ha! How did I know? I heard you laughing Naruto! I can recognize your laugh from a mile away!”

We sit down and conversation comes easily as we enjoy our ramen; it feels good to be doing this again. Nothing can ever replace the feeling of relaxing with friends so close that you can finish one another’s sentences; it’s not something that comes without working for it and friendship is something that all three of us have had to work for. A lot of people have close friends, but the only way to truly know someone is to become an expert at people watching, just be careful or it becomes a habit.


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A Question of Taste

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Author's Notes: Finally, the very belated and long-awaited chapter of total and utter Asuma/Kakashi FILTHYNESS. If you've ever read Stupid Mistake, my other yaoi fanfiction (Gai/Kakashi) you'd know how adamant I am about this particular pairing because there is just simply not enough fanfiction about it, preferably dirty fanfiction. And preferably when Kakashi is on the bottom. I love me some hot man-secks.

Warnings: For the love of GOD do NOT read this if you are under the age of 18. Contains graphic scenes of a sexual nature and sweaing. I'm warning you!

A Question of Taste

by: o0-Constance-0o

Despite popular belief, Kakashi was a decidedly ravenous person when it came to him and a table of food. He could destroy a whole restaurant in under an hour and still feel like seconds and dessert (which he made sure there was always room for) without slowing down. Being a shinobi didn’t leave time to savour every meal, not when you have forty ninja breathing down your neck and a weapon to your throat.

But it’s not like he ever actually went to restaurants much before he met his wonderful little bast- students. Not unless he wanted to pull down his mask and eat until there was no wood left on the surface of the table.

He had a reputation to keep, after all.

Though he did feel far more comfortable out in the open and around his peers with his mask, it had its downsides. Especially around fruit stands, and Ichiraku Ramen… and that little café down the street-

Around fruit trees-

During parties-

And of course, around Asuma’s godforsaken student, Chouji, who always innocently offered him a mouthful of whatever snack he may be holding at the time.

Like the little bastard could sense his mouth watering at the notion of food.

After training is the worst, when all he wants is something – anything, his anonymity be damned!

But, like he said, he had a reputation to keep.

Only his trusted ninken and a small few jounin truly knew how much Kakashi could eat – mostly because a lot of Konoha men were much the same and his ninken would take bets to see how fast he could devour his meal time around – a game which got many of them the punishment of eating vegetables for a week.

How he hated eating around other people. It was bad enough that they saw his face but the one thing that would actually physically put-him-off his delicious beloved food would be they way they stare at him.

Kakashi shivered at the thought.

Nothing made him feel more uncomfortable or exposed.

He would politely refuse their offers to go out to eat or for a homemade meal – no matter how tempting the offer was – being rather dastardly at cooking. Despite his love of all things edible, Kakashi could not and absolutely would not cook. Making toast was a sheer nightmare.

He could burn cereal.

Take-out was his knight in shining armour. His great defender and lord and saviour! As soon as Kakashi learned how to use a telephone, the sooner he learned how to put Ichiraku Ramen and Muyo’s Sushi on speed-dial.

It was very rare for him to eat out without using some sort of genjutsu to hide his face, and thanks to Naruto being his student – his rather poor and orphaned student – it became more frequent for him to buy and eat ramen outside. He worried about the day Naruto would eat him out of house and home. How the hell did Iruka afford it?

Could Kakashi afford take-out and Naruto forever?

Would he really go hungry?

But that one faithful day, starving and out of cash, Asuma politely offered for Kakashi to be his guinea pig for a recipe he was trying to re-create.

And it didn’t help that Sarutobi Asuma was a notoriously good cook.

Kakashi felt like he was wasting away, and nearly hugged the larger man’s ankles in sheer gratitude.

It also didn’t help that Asuma made notoriously large portions.

“Wow,” he said, when the fourth plate was placed in front of him along with various other colourful and equally delicious looking meals, “no wonder Kurenai’s been gaining weight…”

The older man laughed – a deep rumble in the bottom of his chest – and took another drag from his smoke as he poured the contents from a big pot into a bowl beside him.

“Kurenai actually doesn’t like my cooking,” he said, putting the pot down and stirring whatever was steaming in the dish – and God it smelled amazing.

The Copy-Ninja pondered how anyone could be insane enough to think ill of the Sarutobi’s amazing feats of culinary skill.

Asuma’s apartment was rather homely, all things considered. Shinobi don’t usually keep too many personal items because there really wasn’t any point, not when you could be killed at any moment. It smelled deliciously of food and the décor was mainly just pictures of his students and a large tapestry of the Sarutobi crest adorned the right wall. He was sitting cross-legged at a kotatsu situated between two very comfy plush canvas couches, watching over the counter as the darker man cooked.

Still chuckling, he bent to pull something out of the oven and Kakashi could barely hear him over the sizzling of roasted vegetables inside; “Don’t tell me you’re another person that thinks me and Kurenai are an item.”

“Well, you two do spend a lot of time together…”

“Oh yeah,” he muttered sarcastically, scooping out the roasted peppers and onions into another bowl, “that’s an obvious giveaway that I’m boning her,”

“Ass…” Kakashi smirked, folding his arms.

He watched as the darker man straightened up, bowl in his hand, the other wiping the sweat and grease that had hazed onto his brow line with a tea-towel. The sleeves of the black t-shit he was wearing were rolled up to his large forearms, cooking oil and splatters of different sauces and food decorated the dark skin and clever fingers. He deftly removed the black apron over his head and sat down heavily, crossing his legs, placing the food on the table and picking up a pair of chopsticks.

“I told you, there’s nothing going on between me and Kurenai.”

It was but a few short seconds before Asuma already had a dumpling half-raised towards his mouth, before casting his deep brown eyes on the man before him and sighing, lowering his food.

“You can take the stupid mask off, Kakashi,” he grumbled, rolling his eyes, “I’m not going to stare at you; it’s not like I’ve never seen your face before.”

Scratching the back of his head uncomfortably, the Copy-Ninja hesitantly pulled down the edge of his mask – all the while glaring at the darker man, daring him to look – before letting the soft black cotton fall around his neck and hang loosely there, and picked up a pair of chopsticks beside him with a gleeful smile.

The Sarutobi really was the most amazing cook. Kakashi felt spoiled for choice at the steaming bowls in front of him; thick chicken dumplings with a home-made leek-sauce filling made his first choice, and he sighed through a mouthful of food in delight at the warm, rich taste; as though he hadn’t eaten in weeks.

It was only half-way through, after happily chewing through an amazing rice dish with bamboo-sauce and beef-strips with cayenne peppers did he realise that Asuma didn’t once look up at him, too engrossed in the meal before him, left to his own thoughts.

He supposed one of the highlights of bi-sexuality meant that he could find the beauty in either gender, and Kakashi was nothing if not a very visual person. He would be the first to admit, Asuma was probably one of the best looking men in Konoha; with his strong features and muscled body coupled with his don’t-really-give-two-shits bad boy attitude and smoking habit.

But when a man is just that good looking, and is also a genuinely nice and funny person and a great cook? Some people just had it made.

It wasn’t really fair. Especially since he’d been ogling and worshiping the man since his late teens while managing to still seem grossly ineffectual.

Lesser men and women and women would have stripped off at the point and begged the man to fuck them senseless, after being seduced by such food and sexy company, but not Kakashi. He could lust from afar, just as everyone else.

Besides, he knew Asuma didn’t swing that way. Shame.

“You’re staring,” the darker jounin stated, not looking up from his food.

“I’m trying to see what Kurenai sees in you, after all, you said she doesn’t like your food and I can’t see what else you have to offer,” Liar.

“Will you quit sayin’ that,” he cried, pointing his chopsticks at the slighter jounin for emphasis, “Kurenai and I have a mutual friendship, that’s all.”

“You mean the kind of mutual friendship where you’re both naked, right?”

Mmmm… naked Asuma… Kakashi innocently put another mouthful of noodles in his mouth as said wished-nude man glared at him.

Sighing, Asuma picked up the bowl of roasted vegetables and added some into his rice, “If you must know,” he said quietly, “she’s been discreetly going out with Iruka for a few months now.”

Shock sent the food in his mouth straight to the back of his throat and Kakashi started choking, a stray noodle trying to make its merry way down his windpipe. Thumping himself in the chest for a second he managed to painfully swallow the delicious food, bringing tears to his eye. It didn’t taste as good when it was being forced down, unfortunately.

“Ir-Iruka?” He rasped, squinting through the tears, “You’ve got to be kidding me! Do you really think I’m stupid enough to believe that?”

“It’s the truth,” he shrugged, grains of rice falling from between his chopsticks back into the bowl as he raised it to his mouth.

“Come off it. Iruka’s not even confident enough to lightly-brush-against-that let alone hit-that.”

“Not a fucking word,” the man warned through a mouthful of food, “I’m real serious about this, Kakashi. You know if word about that gets out no one will ever let it go.”

Savouring the taste of another amazingly tasty dumpling, the Copy-Ninja swallowed it and shook his head, “Yeah, because I want nothing more than to run behind the waterfalls and gossip to all my kunoichi friends,” he deadpanned.

“Well, you have a tendency to be a real bitch when you want to be-“

Asuma coughed a little on his food as the dumpling Kakashi threw at him hit him squarely in the nose.

This is nice, he thought to himself at the time. Talking to Asuma, annoying Asuma, making fun of Asuma, eating Asuma’s food, throwing said food at Asuma. It almost seemed… normal.

And normality was something every shinobi both hated and needed at the same time.

Kakashi didn’t have many “nice” things in his life, so for once, he was incredibly grateful for the moment, of watching one of the men that plagued his dreams for years grinning, smirking, genuinely enjoying his company. He was still Asuma’s friend even if he did fancy every nook and cranny of his incredible body and it was… nice… to just share a meal with someone once in a while. Be comfortable enough around them that they didn’t stare at his face just because he had his mask off. Not be judged for a little while.

Because Asuma wasn’t like that, not openly at least.

Earlier starvation slightly quelled, Kakashi’s shoulders slumped after realising all the food was gone. Asuma leaned back with a sigh, licking the corners of his mouth clean with a pointed tongue (he couldn’t help but follow the action) and scratching his bearded jaw.

A smirk crawled over his tan lips as the Copy-Ninja scraped the inside of one of the bowls with his finger and licked off the sauce, “I presume you like my cooking then.”

“You are… a fucking… God,” was the reply between trying to devour the pale digit, and he couldn’t help but notice the slight grimace on the taller man’s face as he licked his finger clean. Maybe he thought it was disgusting…?

“C’mon,” he stretched as he stood up, “you can help God clean if you promise not to break anything.”

“I might be a monster when it comes to cooking, but cleaning I can do. And since God wants me to help…”

Following the older man into the kitchen with bowls in hand, he contemplated how many people Asuma did this for; invited into his home and cooked for them, spent time with them. How many people had he graced with his company like this?

A little, evil part of him hoped it wasn’t many, because he felt kind of… special. It was selfish, sure, but he knew Asuma didn’t warm up to people easily. The man was nice for niceness-sake, funny and social and easy to get along with, but there were very few he actually wanted to spend time with. Kurenai was one of them. And… was Kakashi another?

The kitchen was roasting hot and the grease and condensation made the surfaces slippery. The Copy-Ninja removed his flak-vest and under-armour after he put the bowls on the counter, throwing his clothes over the counter onto the couch – and was that a pair of eyes on his back…?

The Sarutobi was nonchalantly washing dishes in the sink, turning to throw a cloth and a bottle of washing-up liquid at the jounin who caught them with ease.

“Since I fed you, you can wash down the counters,” he chimed happily, placing the soaped bowl on the draining-board, “and tell me if the food was okay.”

“I think we’ve already established the fact that you’re God,” he chuckled, squeezing the cloth until it foamed and slapped it on the counter with a messy whap.

“Seriously, I wanna know. I’m thinkin’ about cookin’ for Ino, Chouji and Shikamaru before we go on our next mission, and being God doesn’t take away from the fact that somethin’ needs changing, right?”

“I was starving, I would have eaten anything at that point,” he retorted, watching as the man lit up a smoke and held it between his lips as he continued scrubbing a frustrating stain on the side of one dish, “and that being said, I still thought it was amazing.”

“You’re really not a picky eater, are you?”

“Not in the slightest.”

“Dammit, thought I was making a good choice for a guinea pig.”

“Maybe you should pick Iruka next time; I’m sure you could seduce some info out of him with a good meal-“

“I swear to God, Hatake, if you don’t stop with the whole Kurenai thing-“

But he was cut off as the soapy cloth Kakashi was previously using caught him in the neck, splattering soap and water everywhere. Fuming, the man flung it onto the counter beside him and continued scrubbing, silent. Whoops… guess I’m getting the silent treatment.

“Look,” he sighed, sitting on the counter beside the draining-board, “if you really want my advice, I’d say Chouji will be eternally grateful to his beloved chef-sensei, Ino will only eat half a salad anyway, and Shikamaru will probably gain even more respect for you because at this point, you can pretty much do anything in his eyes and cooking is definitely one of them.”

“… Noted on the salad for Ino,” he laughed.

“There was just one thing missing…”

Asuma looked up at him, placing another item of crockery to dry on his side, “Oh, and what’s that?”

Kakashi tilted his head, his eyes crinkling as he smiled, “Dessert, of course.”

The edges of his mouth pulled upwards as he took a moment to take the smoke out of his mouth, holding it between two long, soapy fingers, puffing the smoke out of his nose in a fashion that was purely draconic, and for a moment he looked a little sinister.

“… And… what kind of dessert do you like?”

Oh Asuma, I’d cover you in chocolate and ice-cream if I could, his thoughts exuded, that’s the kind of dessert I’d like. The slow, deep way his voice rumbled around the sentence didn’t help either, and something tensed inside the younger jounin as the tension in the kitchen grew a little.

No… impossible… isn’t it?

Hopping down off the counter, he grabbed a tea-towel off the rack to his left and took a sodden bowl from the draining-board, drying the dish with the thin cloth.

“You know me; I’m not a picky eater,” he replied easily, smiling and reaching up to place the bowl on a shelf above him.

He had to keep it light-hearted, otherwise he would start feeling things and feeling things about Asuma when the man had little to no interest sexually in him was a very bad idea. After all, they were totally secluded in the apartment… alone… anything could-no! Bad! Stop that, stupid genius brain! He couldn’t – could absolutely NOT repeat that time he walked Ayame-chan home after a night of drinking and she accidently blurted out the she’d never seen a better looking man since that day she saw his face… I didn’t help that he really liked Ayame-chan too, but the emotional ties were too much on her part.

The sex was great though, but he may have taken her statement a little too literally. That was one hell of a mix-up he never wanted to re-create.

The man hummed, “I think I know what you might like… maybe I’ll make some dessert for you someday…”

It was friendly as compared to the previously deep tone he adopted, and Kakashi merely stayed silent, smiling as he was handed a pot, and Asuma directed him where to put it. Perhaps he was just imagining the previous statement… or the tone of said statement. It’s not like Asuma was…

The silence then was comfortable, and the simple act of washing dishes and cleaning counters felt so strange to the Copy-Ninja, mostly because he never really shared in the simple chore with someone – for someone before. He leaned against the counter as the Sarutobi continued on the last few items of cutlery.

“… You gonna tell me what you’d like or not?” The darker jounin asked, picking the cutlery out of the sink and drying them with a towel.

“I thought you knew?”

Damn him for having such a devilishly handsome smirk, he thought avidly as Asuma shook his head, throwing the items in his hand into a drawer.

“Can’t blame me for askin’,” he said, drying his soapy hands with the material, “I have a knack for telling what people have tastes for, but you can be a little confusing... when you want to be.”

Kakashi met his bronze eyes evenly, leaning further against the counter as Asuma threw the towel beside him, “Oh? And what do you think my tastes are…?”

He didn’t intentionally mean for the sentence to sound as bad or come out as suggestive as it did, but the burning way the taller man was looking at him made him question the man’s sexuality. There was a smirk, then, his eyelids lowered suggestively in a way that made Kakashi instinctually cross his legs.

Keep it… keep it light-hearted. Don’t let him know…

“That’s what I’m still trying to figure out,” he replied smoothly, scratching his beard, his head tilted to the side and blowing the last of his smoke out of the corner of his mouth. He crushed the butt in an ashtray next to him, “then again, you’re not a picky person. I’m sure you’d eat everything out of my fridge given half the chance.”

“I dunno,” he grinned, noticing the double entendre, “I wouldn’t want to steal all your food in-case you need to seduce Kurenai with your amazing cooking.”

Something in his eyes flashed dangerously then, and it barely registered in him before Asuma chose to close the short gap between them by pressing forward slowly, his eyes glinting a fierce bronze when he pinned his larger hands on either side of Kakashi’s hips against the counter.

“I told you,” he breathed, that sexy smirk still in place, “there’s nothing going on between myself and Kurenai. There never has been…”

He was sure his heart battering against his rib-cage was audible, and the smell of smoke, home-cooking and smooth aftershave immediately filled his senses as his breathing picked up erratically. Suddenly, he was all too aware of the silence; the sound of the water draining in the sink, the steady click as the heat in the oven slowly dissipated, letting the metal interior shrink to its original size.

And the rush of air in and out of the darker man’s nose as he breathed him in deep.

It was with a jolt that he realised he hadn’t fixed his mask back up yet, feeling the fluttering heat against his chin and collar when Asuma moved closer, his large hands flanking either sides of Kakashi’s waist, thumbs pressing into the corners of his hip-bones.

Did he really let himself get so comfortable around the jounin that he didn’t even bother to fix it back in place? What the hell was wrong with him? He must have been out of his mind.

Wide shoulders, an unshaven taut neck and those burning eyes blocked out the rest of his vision, gulping audibly as the darker man slid his eyes down the length of the Copy-Ninja’s face, and inched closer until they were mere centimetres away.

Oh God, he thought, it looks like he’s… he’s going to…

“D-dessert?” He suggested shakily just before Asuma moved in for the kill, his hands shaking and his heart beating a tattoo against chest. He couldn’t properly detach his fingers from the edge of the counter. The man pulled back slightly, but still managing to keep a very uncomfortable distance; breath whispering against his lips and collar every few seconds.

Kakashi’s heart seemed to stop beating entirely when an evil (and sexy – why dammit?!) smile curled the upper edges of his dark, angular lips and he spoke, sending shivers down the paler man’s spine.

“I think I know what you might like…”

This… this has to be a dream, he mind yelled at him. There was no way in hell Sarutobi Asuma, THE Sarutobi Asuma was doing this, looking at him like he wanted all his clothes to melt off when he was very clearly straight. Right up against him like he wanted nothing more than to be inside him, and strangely calm, all things considered. Eerily calm.

That meant he had the upper hand, because Kakashi felt faint, and increasingly nervous.

Without breaking eye contact, the man reached up and pulled open the door of a cupboard next to the silvery head, reaching inside and rummaging around for a second, before his hand finally grasped what he was looking for and he slowly brought it down to the counter.

“A-Asuma… what are you doing?” He hated the horribly croaky way he was speaking, but the dryness that overcame his mouth wouldn’t go away and his eyes widened when he finally realised what the man had taken from the shelf.

Two dark fingers dipped slowly into a jar half-full of golden honey, and the graceful way he took them out, the tips coated in the sticky liquid sugar leaving a thin tendril trail on the just-washed counter, Kakashi felt his knees start to shake.

There were very, very few things in his life that ever frightened or intimidated him; a seductive, lusty Sarutobi Asuma was one of them.

And he felt so very intimidated.

Watching as the fingers rubbed against each-other, spreading the sticky substance along the clever digits, he backed up as far as he could being pressed between the counter and the thickly muscled man as they rose to chin level and hung teasingly in front of his face, dripping gold between them. He knew what the man wanted him to do; he wasn’t an idiot…

And God did he want to do it…

But it was so much so fast. Two minutes ago, he wouldn’t have even guessed he would be in this position with one of the best looking, strongest men in Konoha who ruled a lot of his midnight-dreaming. The man he silently lusted after for years. The ridiculously naturally sexy Asuma… and he wanted him to suck honey off his fingers.

What if it was all just some stupid joke? What if it was all just a dream, and he was bound to wake-up at any moment? What if this was some fucked up hallucination and he was really having an epileptic fit or in a coma?

“Come on, open your mouth,” the taller jounin said smoothly, his slicked fingers a hair’s breadth from Kakashi’s lips, the sticky-sweetness running down his chin.

The colour of Asuma’s eyes wasn’t a far cry the honey either, and as his lone grey flickered to two eager bronze and then back to the fingers in front of him (making him a little cross-eyed in the process, which in it’s own way was a little odd; having only one visible eye), he didn’t think he could keep denying it any longer.

He had to close his eye as he took Asuma’s wrist gently with his hand; the sheer intensity of the darker man’s gaze alone felt like it was melting his skin. He heard the man’s breath catch in his throat when he obediently parted his lips and tentatively wrapped his tongue around the warm digits.

Dessert indeed, the bittery-sweet taste easing the dryness in his mouth for a moment, he relished how the man leaned further into him, the fingers in his mouth twitched when his tongue parted them briefly and rolled along the sides. A quiet moan, then, when he swallowed and the honey coated the back of his throat but he continued licking; the sound of Asuma’s breath going shallow made his pulse quicken.

A thumb was against his chin, pressing into the paler flesh as if to stop himself from pushing his fingers in further when he sucked them, rolling his tongue along the tips, and the deeply aroused groan that came from the action brought goose-bumps to the surface of Kakashi’s skin.

Gently, the fingers were pulled from his mouth, wet and sticky against his bottom lip as they smoothed out the flushed skin there. Looking up, he saw the fascination in the Sarutobi’s face as he stared, transfixed with the Copy-Ninja’s lips, and for the first time in his life, the way he was staring didn’t make him feel uncomfortable. He wanted Asuma to look at him.

Breathing harshly as the man leaned forwards to lick the trail of honey from his chin up, he had a bare second to whine; “Oh God, Asuma…” before his lips were crushed against the other’s; his hand tangling in the hair at the nape of Kakashi’s neck.

It was… so incredibly desperate. Like they’ve been pining after each other for years, like every waking moment either of them had was spent lusting after the other. He reached up to grab the material on either strong, tanned shoulders, grazing over the heart fiercely beating against a pair of larger ribs and felt suddenly faint when a tongue brushed past his lips and thrust into his mouth. Asuma moaned; he presumed it was because of the taste of the honey still lingering.

Hot, and wet, and deep. He’d never felt so taken in his life, and he didn’t believe it was humanly possible for someone to kiss like that; with tongues rolling and fighting against each other, teeth grazing his bottom lip and that tanned mouth massaging his own. The hand on the back of his neck was pulling him in closer, crushing them together; the other was cupping his jaw possessively; his beard scratched against his contrastingly smooth skin.

And God, he tasted just like liquorice. Smokey and cool and bitter; he always thought kissing someone who smoked would be as unpleasant as licking an ashtray, but that obviously wasn’t the case.

The world slowly came back to him as the darker man pulled away, sucking gently on his lip. Breathing seemed laboured as though they had both momentarily forgotten the sweet substance of air.

“Mmm, it was good,” Asuma breathed, “but it still needs something.”

Languidly opening his eye, Kakashi was greeted with the sight of his flushed lips moistened with saliva and swollen from that oh-so-passionate kiss and felt a thrill run through him.

This definitely wasn’t some stupid dream, and considering the look on the older man’s face (that look that made him feel very undressed) he didn’t think it was a joke either.

Asuma left him momentarily to pull out a bottle of red wine from the modest rack on his left, un-corking the bottle with a soft pop and hastily discarding the corkscrew.

“I can make it taste a hundred times sweeter,” he said, gesturing with the bottle, “if you let me.”

There was a moment of… hesitance after that offer. Mainly because that’s just what it was; an offer. An offer for something probably filthy and perverted and tempting and Kakashi felt he would be doing himself an absolute disservice if he didn’t accept it.

It was cheap, and possibly only used for cooking, he thought, as he took the bottle and swallowed a mouthful, the darker jounin watching him as though he was doing something far sexier than just drinking alcohol. Not one for liking the bitter, sour taste of red wine, he made a face and placed the bottle beside him with a wry smile, the Sarutobi by him in an instant, his fingers dipping again into the honey-jar by the Copy-Ninja’s hip.

This time he didn’t hesitate, and it was with a soft, deep moan of satisfaction when the older man pressed his honey-coated fingers into his mouth.

God, he was right. They liquid sugar almost seemed a little bitter before hand, now the sweetness exploded in his mouth, over-riding the sourness left behind by the wine and he eagerly licked the digits in his mouth clean, needing more of that saccharine taste of human skin and gold sugar.

Asuma took the bottle of wine and swallowed a decent measure, grimacing at the bitter taste and removing his fingers once again, not bothering to waste time by pressing his lips to the smaller man’s, who had only just barely consumed the honey in his mouth before a tongue was roughly shoved in to steal it back.

It was like a little slice of heaven all on its own, the satisfied “Mmmh…” the older man exuded when he got to taste the contrast of sour with sudden sweet, the heat of his large body pressed up just so against him, and the fact that it was really happening without any prior warning at all.

And then there was a warm wetness on the side of his neck, spreading what could have only been the honey across his skin and the kiss was ended abruptly.

Eyelids lowered as his head was tilted back by a large hand, he leaned against the counter for something to support himself. Anything to stop him from fainting dead away when the golden trail was slowly licked off his skin, gasping when the patch of skin was sucked and the tight hardness in his lower half dulled to a slow throb.

The almost insatiable need to pull him close was fulfilled when Asuma’s free hand came from around his waist and cupped roughly around his clothed erection. His head jerked back, hitting against the cupboard behind him at the sudden hunger that spiked, and started panting heavily over the man’s shoulder, his feet digging into the floor and slipping against the linoleum.

“A-Asuma, wait…” He tried to reason, regardless of the heated entanglement he was in, the sudden rush of this-is-a-bad-idea vibes overcame him when he realised – everyone thought Asuma was straight and doing this with Kakashi (who was known vaguely for having very loose preferences) didn’t seem at all heterosexual.

“God, I just want you so bad,” the Sarutobi exuded harshly, his hand still massaging him and his mouth still pressing hot kisses against the side of the Copy-Ninja’s throat.

That was enough of a confirmation in Kakashi’s book, and the realisation hit him like a tonne of bricks.

Asuma was going to fuck him. And there was absolutely no way he was getting away unscathed.

The sweet reality couldn’t have been any more delicious.

Fingers previously massaging his already painfully hard erection slipped beneath the waistband of his sweats, treading through the coarse silver hair there and he bucked and fell against the man when that strong hand circled around him and gripped warmly. Holding him up was proving a little difficult, it wasn’t long before Asuma pushed his head back against the cupboard with a hasty, laboured kiss, hand gripping and pumping and the other holding a long leg against his hip-bone.

Disorientated from lack of oxygen and the numbing pleasure from the hand wrapped around his cock; he barely even realised when he pulled back out of the kiss and grabbed the jar with the hand that was once holding up the younger jounin’s leg.

No amount of pleasure however, could have possibly stopped him from noticing when his sweats were pulled down to the tops of his thighs and the hand so wrapped around him dipped three warmed fingers into the jar of honey.

Breath caught, fingers tightened on the counter behind him and his heart stopped beating entirely when, making no effort to hurry at all, the honey coated fingers wrapped around his arousal and spread the sticky substance. Around the length, across the top and a thumb pressed deliberately into the slit, making a horribly choked noise escape his lungs completely without his consent.

And Asuma smiled; a devilishly handsome smirk at his obvious wanton state.

Watching through an eye heavily lidded, the Sarutobi picked up the bottle of wine again and drank a measure before setting it down and kissing him hard. He knew what he was going to do, it was a little obvious due to previous circumstances and he wasn’t entirely sure he was going to be able to keep his head screwed on for the moment he’d been wishing for ever since his teens.

Kakashi couldn’t bring himself to protest when he watched the man sink to his knees, not once tearing his fiery brown eyes away from a very embarrassed, wide-eyed grey. He willed himself not to come on the spot when that mouth he’d been worshiping for so long parted and that tongue that had been shoved down his throat started to lick the liquid-sugar off the tip and oh God he thought he was going to die right there and then because everything felt complete. Nothing in him wanted it to stop.

Living meant more pleasure, and he was nothing if not bereft of pleasure.

He had to lean back, had to grip the counter with enough force to splinter the wood when that mouth slowly took more of him in, the man’s tongue rubbing off a spot that made him ache all over and twitch and shake uncontrollably, his heart speeding up erratically. And God he couldn’t believe it was happening, that this man, this gorgeous, incredibly sexy man was on his knees and sucking him off and ah…

Oh fuck… fuck…”

There was no way in Hell Asuma was straight, not with the way that mouth worked and fuck why did he have to choose of all times to suck like that? It was all he could do not to move his hips for fear he would choke the darker man and it would all stop. He jerked when a low note was hummed around him, obviously at the sweeter taste of the honey.

It couldn’t stop, not now, when he was so far beyond even comprehending the sheer gravity of what was really happening.

Kakashi’s head fell against the door of the cupboard behind him, his jaw open and panting for air, eyes tightly closed in toe-curling, dizzying pleasure. He had to run a hand through his hair when that mouth drove him in an inch deeper, if just to somehow control the urge to move against the heat around him.

It was too much, he felt too close, and he couldn’t let it end, not when there was so much more they could do. So much more he wanted to do to the older man he’s been dreaming about for years.

“Wait, Asuma-ah! Oh fuck, wait… stop!” He panted, tangling his fingers in the slate-coloured locks and pulling, urging him up off the floor.

The older man released him reluctantly, and it was very lucky he did because Kakashi didn’t think he could have held it off much longer. He pressed his brow against the darker male’s, his chest heaving, Asuma licking the honey off his bottom lip seductively.

“Why did you tell me to stop,” he sighed, pressing a kiss to the slighter man’s mouth, “I nearly got you off. That’s not very nice.”

“Because I… do you… want to take this somewhere more comfortable?”

Kakashi wasn’t the kind of person to willingly suggest sex, but his brain wasn’t exactly working properly and he almost ended up saying “Because I want you to fuck me” and he knew he would never live it down afterwards.

His heart sank like a stone when Asuma pulled back a little; eyes wide and his mouth slightly agape. Great, he immediately thought, I just fucked that one up. Perhaps the man just didn’t want to have sex with him, though he wasn’t exactly going the best way about avoiding the subject. Not when his mouth was doing that.

An easy smile slid across the smooth contours of his lips, his dark eyes darkening even further and he bit his bottom lip before chuckling lowly.

“And if we did go somewhere more comfortable… what would we do?”

The man pressed further against him, holding him by the waist, deliberately pressing his erection against the other’s and earning a shaky gasp.

“D-don’t make me say it,” he warned, hating the shudder in his voice, “you know what I mean…”

It really didn’t help that his sweats had already been pulled down to the tops of his thighs, freeing his painfully hard arousal, but the small circles Asuma was making against him with his hips was incredibly distracting, and the slow, hazy way he drew out his words only fuelled the fire.

“I know what you mean,” the Sarutobi chuckled, “but you could mean a lot of things, am I right? Lookin’ mighty breathless there, Kakashi.”

Said Copy-Ninja moaned at the way the he said his name, as if he fucking loved saying it and nothing tasted sweeter. It was but a few more minutes of torture before he gently pulled Kakashi’s sweats up (obviously ignoring his pained grunt) and took his hand, pulling him by the wrist and thumb forwards on shaken feet. The younger man grabbed the bottle of wine and brought it with him, gulping down a large measure – anything to somehow calm the nerves jerking his stomach around.

It was a very short and hasty walk to Asuma’s bedroom; the bottle of wine was wrenched out of his hand and he watched the man drink it before pushing him back onto sheets that smelled of smoke, and that wonderful subtle aftershave the taller man used. Kakashi took a moment to revel in the scent before his hips were straddled and his shirt pulled up past his ribs and over his head by long, clever fingers.

“Oh, do you have any idea how long I’ve wanted you?” The Sarutobi asked breathlessly, pulling his own shirt off in the process and moaning when their skin pressed together, “How long I’ve wanted this?”

His heart was aching from the pressure it had been put under and the things Asuma was saying… confessing his long-awaited fulfilment of his desires… it couldn’t be? The ability to answer the man properly had been long gone, he was far too into it to even think let alone form a coherent sentence.

His sweats and boxers were quickly wrenched off, and his fingers fumbled when he pushed the other man’s trousers down, watching him kick them off. The Copy-Ninja shouldn’t have looked down, down at that gloriously cut body, rippling with muscle and dark skin that was now naked and wanting him and God it was almost too much.

“You just had to take your mask off,” Asuma breathed into his ear, running his tongue along the side of his neck and gasping when Kakashi’s short nails scraped down his chest, “you just had to make those noises when you eat. I can’t stop…”

“Don’t stop,” he breathed in reply before pulling him and kissing him hard, all thought lost then when hips came down to meet his and a large hand wrapped around their arousals, pressing them together and massaging.

Through throaty moans and gasps of pleasure, he didn’t think any of his late-night (and often early morning) entourages compared to this… this urgency, like if they didn’t get off with each other and fast, either of them would explode.

Kakashi didn’t necessarily want to fight for domination, not when he needed the man as desperately. So he didn’t even bother protesting when his hips were grabbed, the man sitting upwards to roughly turn him over, the slighter man’s chest hitting the bed. Usually, he didn’t really take it per-say, but for Asuma…

For Asuma he could make an exception.

A hard, unbearably aroused shudder passed through him when he head him un-cork a bottle of lubricant and it wasn’t long before two lube-slicked fingers sank into him, slowly, stretching him and teasing him, crooking to find his prostate. He gritted his teeth, his knees shaking and a low, guttural moan echoing out of his mouth when something inside him pulsed suddenly, and he jerked.

That was all the information the older man needed, with a hand around his waist, his chest pressed against a paler back and his lips fluttering random kisses across his neck, the other hand was still inside the younger male, guiding himself into the small body so willingly giving himself up.

The sharp, hot groan on the back of his neck shot straight down to his groin, he gritted his teeth, twisting the sheets between one hand and digging his fingers into Asuma’s arm with the other as the man pushed, stretching him, burning, filling him inch by agonising inch.

And then the arm he was clutching desperately moved up to his face, those long clever fingers going under his neck and pulling his chin up, into a kiss that was-

So impossibly sweet-

God, it fucking hurt. He forgot how much it did hurt, not since that time he and Gai were lost in the mountains of Lightening and were both so fucking cold and would have done anything to keep warm. And Gai wasn’t a far cry from Asuma either.

Frome his angle, he could see the older man’s pinched expression, the sweat that started to break out over his skin, the intensity of his incredible eyes. All too used to the pain, he urged the man to move, feeling the darker hand rest against his shoulder and using his body for leverage as he pushed – oh God rolled his hips against the other’s, his hand still slick with lubricant cold against the top of his thigh as his legs were pulled further apart.

Every ragged moan, pant and choked cry only served to fuel the need that came roaring back through the pain, and he found himself bucking back against the darker man, crying out breathlessly when he pressed against something deep within him that made him go weak and funny at the knees.

He couldn’t have asked for anything more, the heavy moans against his neck and how the man held him by the shoulder and hip, angling him to take it deeper, steady, urgent, rhythmic-

Kakashi bent his leg, bracing himself against the bed, willing the older man to hit against that spot again and it wasn’t long before they were both moaning in reply to each other. And knowing that Asuma was doing this to him, filling him again and again as he gradually picked up his pace, whispering filth in Kakashi’s ear when he pushed back, it was enough to reassure him it definitely wasn’t a dream.

“F-fuck – Asuma,” he cried out, when his pace increased considerably, feeling the first waves of his orgasm starting to turn his skin to ice, increasing the throb in his arousal rubbing against the soft bed-linen, moaning brokenly at the jerky thrusts the man had suddenly taken on.

He was close, and having him like that, crying out Kakashi’s name desperately, it felt far greater to have him raw and full of pleasure like that than the actual sex.

“Kakashi… fuck you feel too good, I’m-“

“Don’t,” and of course, he had been forced to beg, “please… fuck I’m so close…”

Breathily hot against the back of his neck, a tanned hand reached in between him and the bed, lifting his hips and the slam sent him face-first into the bed-sheets with a shaky moan. That hand that suddenly wrapped around his cock served to push him further and he was brokenly moaning Asuma’s name, crying it out like a desperate prayer when the jerky-thrusts behind him sent him spiralling towards his orgasm.

And to think… just earlier he was making fun of Asuma around his kotatsu and breaking bread with him, now he was-

Digging crescent shapes with his fingernails into the man’s forearm when he let go of his shoulder to brace himself against the bed, his free hand grabbing a hold of one of the wooden bars on the man’s headboard and squeezing it with such force it splintered and cracked in his palm and-

For a glorious moment-

Listening to Asuma breathlessly moan his name in his ear when he jerked into him, shuddering as he gave his body up to pleasure and sent Kakashi seeing stars blur out his vision when orgasm finally overtook him.

Everything went white as every muscle clenched, his nails drawing blood in Asuma’s forearm with a harsh groan, stifled somewhat by the bed-sheets his face had taken refuge in. Tense, for so long as wave after wave of pure pleasure rippled through his body-

And then slumped, the older man spent against him, sprawled out on top of him, warm and sweating and wonderfully alive.

God… nothing could compare.

Then there was silence; nothing but the laboured breathing that had grown in sync and the rustling of sheets as the larger man managed, by some feat of incredible dexterity, to climb off him and wrap an arm around the Copy-Ninja’s shoulders, turning him over to rest his silvery head against the darker chest.

It… really happened… didn’t it? He knew he wasn’t that crazy to dream or imagine something that felt so intense, so wonderful. And to think, just earlier, he thought the man was in love with Kurenai.

“… You’re not straight,” he stated simply after sometime, watching with vague interest as the man lit up a smoke, his eyes closing in bliss as he took the first drag and blew it out, watching the cloud billow and disperse.

“Wow, no wonder they call you a genius,” he deadpanned, letting the smoke hang out of the corner of his mouth.

Kakashi decided Asuma looked just as amazing after sex as he did during it, with his hair all messed up, his beard even coarser looking than usual and his skin flushed and relaxed.

The older man sighed, looking pensive, “… I haven’t been straight, not for a damn long time.”

The younger jounin simply nodded, understanding. Not many people like to openly confess their preferences to the public, and he supposed the Sarutobi was absolutely no exception, especially being the 3th Hokage’s son. But did that really matter? After all, his confession of wanting Kakashi for a long time had been truthful, as are many things cried out during states of carnal lust and drunkenness, so what did it matter what orientation he was anyway?

But he knew the man didn’t want to say it, not openly, not yet. So he didn’t bother pressing him for information, content to lie in his arms. A change of subject was in order.

“… I hate daikons…” It wasn’t like him to say something without it really having any value, but the silence was just a little uncomfortable; the last thing he wanted was for Asuma to feel Kakashi was waiting for a confession.

“… What?”

The Copy-Ninja sat up a little, brushing the silver hair that had fallen into his face back with a hand, “You asked me earlier what my tastes are. I’d eat anything except daikons, because the texture of them when they’re cooked reminds me of puke.”

The Sarutobi merely stared and shook his head, taking another drag from his smoke, urging Kakashi to lie back down and relax, “That wasn’t what I really meant, Kakashi…”

It took him a little while to figure out the meaning of the sentence, but when he did, he fit himself a little more snugly against the larger man. After all, he couldn’t have just politely asked him over to try out something he wanted to cook because really…

That question about tastes… it was never really about the food.

Author's Notes: I know some of you under 18s read this! *shakefist*

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by: Kenta Raikiri

Hatake Kakashi sat in his most hated class. Health. It wasn't that he didn't hate everything about the class. The teacher was drop-dead sexy. Mitarashi Anko was the hottest teacher in Konohigh. The full name of the school was Konoha High School, but most people just called it Konohigh. but we're getting off topic. Kakashi sat in his seat banging his head on his desk as Ms. Anko just announced that they had a Health test next class.

'*bam* Why *bam* do *bam* I *bam* always *bam* get *bam* stuck *bam* with *bam* all *bam* these *bam* fricken *bam* TESTS! *bam*' Kakashi thought as he stopped hitting his now sore fore-head against his desk, anime tears streaming down his face.

Hatake Kakashi was 16 years old, soon to be 17. He stood 6 feet tall, had silver hair (which was quite strange nowadays) and had onyx black eyes. He was a Junior of Konoha High School, and was also on the track team. Kakashi's usual attire was a blue shirt with a forest green sweatjacket. He wore the usual blue Denim Jeans, and had a facemask around his face.

"Excuse me Mr. Hatake, but class is in session and it would be much more pleasant if you would at least pay attention. If you want to bang your head against a desk so badly, then cause the usual trouble you do and do it in detention." Ms. Anko said as she hit him on the head with a stack of papers, most likely their homework. Mitarashi Anko was 21 years old, had C, brodering D cup breasts, and had short purple hair that cascaded down the side of her face. She tended to wear a purple shirt with Denim Jeans. Every now and again she would wear a brown suit with her hair up, but that was only on days the teachers had a meeting.

While Kakashi (and the rest of the male population of the school) thought she was a diva, he also thought she was a terrorist in disguise. Why? Because while normal teachers gave out only 1 to 2 pages of homework, this sadistic vixen decided to give the class at least 6 pages of homework...IN HEALTH CLASS! Seriously, wasn't this supposed to be the easiest class with the least amount of homework!?

Kakashi sighed as he went over how many tests he had next week.

'Okay, I have a math test with Ms. Kurenai, I have an English test with Mr. Sarutobi, and then I have that History test with Mr. Minato, whose actually pretty lean with his classes....*sigh* great....and now I have the happy Health test with Ms. Anko....why is my life a living hell almost 24/7?' Kakashi hit his head on his desk once more as he realized how much work he had cut out for him.

After Ms. Anko had finished giving out the homework, all six pages of it, the bell rang signaling their release. Kakashi slowly picked up his things and started heading for the door of the classroom. "Kakashi, may I have a word?" Anko said as she was still organizing things on her desk. Kakashi stopped and looked at her from the door. Anko saw he wasn't going to be moving anywhere so she sighed and turned to face him. "I've noticed that you're having trouble in this class." She raised an eyebrow as she propped her face against her fist as it rested on her desk. Kakashi started to sweat as he knew what his teacher was getting to. Anko sighed. "Kakashi, you've got the lowest grade in the class, a D, and if you don't pass this test you fail the semester." She said as she narrowed her eyes at Kakashi, who was now sweating bullets.

"S-so what do I d-do?" Kakashi stuttered out. He then mentally kicked himself for stuttering as Anko's frown broke out into a grin. 'YOU IDIOT!' Kakashi's inner self scolded him. "You just showed that you're scared of her! Don't you remember what happened the last time someone was scared of front of her!?" Kakashi shuddered as he remembered hearing about a kid that was traumatized after shaking in front of Ms. Anko. Anko smiled as she walked up to Kakashi, her hips swaying with every step. Kakashi, as of that moment, was very grateful that the school didn't have a problem with him having a mask on his face during school hours, becuase every step she took reminded Kakashi of a scene from one of those icha icha paradise books he 'borrowed' from his dad. The book Icha Icha Paradise, or, Come Come Paradise, was a very mature novel. It was very much indeed a love story, just very graphically detailed with the intention to make blood run down your nostrils. Every now and again in the book (especially in a very intimate moment in the story) it would have a picture of the current position the couple would be in. Each step Anko took threw another picture into Kakashi's hormonally damaged head. Because of this, blood was currently trickling down Kakashi's nose, luckily behind the facemask and out of sight, until he finally realized Anko was right in his face with that evil grin still on her face. Kakashi was now visibly shaking as Anko slowly brought her mouth over to his ear. "Kakashi-kun..." She whispered sudectively.

"Y-y-y-y-y-y-yes?" Kakashi stuttered out four times worse than before, his pants growing bigger. His inner persona was currently slamming his head onto his desk, but didn't stop anytime soon as throughought the head-banging one could hear, "Stupid stupid hormones and their stupid evil intentions!" Luckily for Kakashi, Anko had not seen the bulge as she whispered in his ear once more. "It looks like you'll need help with your studies....Would you like some help?" She whispered oh so seductivley in his ear. Kakashi was shaking worse than before as his brain went into chaos.

~Inside Kakashi's brain~

Two Kakashi's were yelling at each other. One Kakashi was wearing a white robe and had a little halo over his head. "NO! We don't need her help! I know exactly what's going to happen! The same thing that happened to that Naruto kid in Icha Icha: Forbidden Love!" The 'good' Kakashi yelled. The 'evil' Kakashi was wearing Copy-nin Kakashi's clothing (Just picture the normal Kakashi, headband over his sharingan eye and all) with two horns coming out of his head. The evil Kakashi smiled innocently. "I'm sorry, I can't remember what happened in that story..." He said as he tried to 'remember' the story. The good Kakashi glared as a blush went onto his face. "Y-you know...." He stuttered out. "I'm afraid I don't remember that story....really." The good Kakashi sighed and took a deep breath. "Y-you know, the k-kid went over to his t-teachers house...." He started. "Yeeeeeeesss??" The evil Kakashi grinned. There was no way he was going to miss out on this. He secretly pulled out a video-camera from his pocket and started recording. "H-he went over to her h-house, a-and they....they.....y-you" He just couldn't say it! He was holy for pete's sake! "I'm sorry, I still don't remember that story....He went over to her house? Then what? They studied?" "W-well....that too...b-but....." "But what?" "They.....THEY HAD SEX!" The good Kakashi quickly hid his currently face, wich was as red as a tomato at having to say the word. The evil Kakashi just grinned. "Oooohhhh.....THAT story....yeah I remember it, your point?" The good Kakashi shot back up, the blush having calmed down a bit. "My point is that the same thing could happen to!" The angel roared out.

"But isn't that what we want? Everytime Kakashi starts reading an Icha Icha book, he starts fantasizing about Anko anyway....Maybe we can get a better imaginative picture if we see the real deal!" The evil Kakashi's eyes sparkled at the possiblity. The good Kakashi was about to say no once more when the evil Kakashi started again. "And I'm sure he could pull a happily ever after with her...." He said shrugging his shoulders. The good Kakashi stopped in his tracks. He always liked a happily ever after. He thought for a moment when the evil Kakashi snuck up to him. "The clock is ticking...." "W-wait! I need more ti-" "Five" "Wait!" "Four" "Hang on a-" "Three" "uh!" "Two" "Err..!" "One" "Okay!" The evil Kakashi grinned. "Okay okay, we'll do it....." He said in defeat. "All right!" The evil Kakashi cheered as he raised up his hands in the victory sign. He was then grabbed by the collar of his vest and pulled in front of the good Kakashi. "But only if we get a happily ever after!" The evil Kakashi sighed. "Fine, fine....."

~Outside of Kakashi's messed up brain~

While it seemed like at least 10 minutes of argueing in Kakashi's brain, it actually was only a few seconds in reality. Kakashi then looked up to Anko, although fearfully, and stuttered out. "S-s-s-sure M-m-m-ms. Ank-k-ko." Anko grinned. She pulled back from Kakashi and turned back to her desk. "All right, I'll see you tomorrow after school at my place, seven O'clock in the evening." She then went back to her work. Kakashi was dragged out of the classroom and then down the hall by one of his best friends, Mighto Gai. "Kakashi, where were you? Class is about to start! And we have Gym!" Gai said in what seemed to be pure joy. Kakashi however, ignored his odd friends happiness about working out as he suddenly deflated onto the ground. Gai was walking again when he noticed Kakashi was not with him and turned around to find Kakashi on the ground. "Kakashi! You don't have time to lay around in the hall! We must get to Gym class!" He then noticed that Kakashi was completely zoned out.

Gai frowned and realized something must have happened to his best friend. He then smiled before hearing the sound of someone crashing. He turned around and saw a teacher was getting up off the floor, glaring daggers at the boy. "Not that I mind you and your dental hygiene, still, if you mind, DO NOT BLIND SOMEONE EVERYTIME YOU SMILE!!!" The teacher roared, steam coming out of her head. Gai started sweating as he apolagized and smiled, blinding the teacher once more, before picking up Kakashi and running down the hall while saying how 'Youthful' he was for helping out a friend. The teacher shook her head back and forth before turning to where she thought was her original destination before she hit the wall yet again. She put a hand to her face and cursed the boy and his stupid blinding smiles as she walked down the hall once more.

~4 minutes later, 1: 05 P.M.~

Gai had just gotten into the locker room when the bell had rung. Kakashi by now had finally gotten over his initial shock and walked over to his locker. As he was pulling out his gym clothes, Genma Shiranui walked up to him, a twig in his mouth. "Hey Kakashi, what's up?" He asked the silver haired Junior. Kakashi sighed. "Nothing Genma, nothing." Genma was about to drop it and turned around when Gai came over. "Kakashi! Why were you so out of it earlier? You collapsed in the middle of the hall!" Genma immediately spun back around to Kakashi. "YOU PASSED OUT IN THE HALL!? That definitely isn't nothing!" He yelled out concerned. Kakashi sighed. "It's nothing, don't worry about it, really." Kakashi said as he took off his shirt. He was putting on his other shirt when Gai started again. "But Kakashi, I've NEVER seen you get that far-sighted, it had to be something big." He said worriedly. Kakashi sighed before looking left and right, making sure no-one was around. "Fine, but you can't tell it?" Kakashi whispered making them swear to secrecy. After a nod from both of them Kakashi took a deep breath. "Ms. Anko is going to tutor me in Health..." Gai and Genma looked at him funny. "Is that it?" Genma said. Kakashi shook his head no. "She want's to tutor me over at her house..." Kakashi looked in front of him and sweatdropped. Genma's twig had fallen onto the floor and Gai's jaw was apparently dislocated as it just kinda hung there. "MS. ANKO WANTS TO TUTOR YOU AT HER HOUSE!?" Genma yelled out. The moment the idiot yelled it out, Kakashi was swarmed with the other guys in his class as they all said, "WHAT!?" and proceeded to give him either the thumbs up, or that icy glare that was full of jealousy. Kakashi turned, put his street clothes back into the locker, (save his mask) closed the door and proceeded to slam his head onto the hard metal locker.

*Bam* *Bam* *Bam* *Bam* *Bam* *Bam* *Bam* *Bam* *Bam* *Bam* *Bam**Bam* *Bam* *Bam* *Bam* *Bam* *Bam* *Bam* *Bam* *Bam* *Bam**Bam* *Bam*

All of the boys watched in awe as the silver-haired Junior started to make dents in the locker. After about half a minute though, a loud "QUIET YOU WORMS!" was heard. The words worked like a charm as EVERYONE stopped what they were doing and were sitting in front of the teacher. Kakashi shivered as he sat next to his classmates. 'Ibiki Morino, Mr. Ibiki, a.k.a. The Torture Master of Hell...why in the world was I put into his class? First there's the hot terrorist in disguise, Ms. Anko, and right after her I'm stuck with the other terrorist....why me?' Kakashi wondered in misery, his inner selves crying tears of woe. Ibiki grinned as he scanned the group. "Now that I have your attention," He started. He paused for a moment to let the tension build. If there was one thing Mr. Ibiki loved, it was cracking the minds of the young, which is the #1 reason he became a P.E. teacher. "Since you all seem so full of energy," He grinned as he saw every boy in the group (not including Gai) shiver in fear. "Why don't we start our work-out...shall we?" "SIR, YES SIR!" Every boy yelled while quickly going into a salute as if they were trained soldiers, something Ibiki loved to see. "Very good men! Start your work-out with 3 laps around the gym!" Someone groaned. The moment the groan was heard, every boy (save the one that groaned and Gai) started sweating bullets. Ibiki suddenly had an aura of death around him. "Did I say 3 laps? I'm sorry, I meant an ENDURANCE RUN! GET OUT THERE AND DON'T STOP UNTIL I SAY SO!" Ibiki roared out.

As all of the boys were running around the Gym, (Have two basketball courts in a room and throw in some bleachers, that's how big the room is) every boy except Gai was sending death glares towards the boy who groaned. The boy started sweating and slowly went to the back of the group of runners.

(A/N: I still curse Mr. Tremain and that boy to this day for that event)

After about 5 minutes of running, Mr. Ibiki called out. "GET INTO YOUR PLACES!" Kakashi shot to his registered position. There were 7 lines with 5 people in them, all spread out. Kakashi was in the 7th line and was 3rd in line. Ibiki led them through their warm-ups until he had them all prepared. He grinned. "All right ladies, It's time for one of my favorite games. DODGEBALL!" Ibiki roared out as he held up a red dodgeball in his hand. Everyone shot to their teams. Kakashi and Gai were facing each other, but Genma was on Kakashi's team. "Kakashi! I shall show you my flames of YOUTH!" Gai roared out, flames in his eyes. Kakashi sighed but decided to at least act tough. "You try Gai, but you're only going to see my dodgeball hitting your sorry face!" Kakashi grinned under his mask. That was good enough to pass off as talking smack. The teams were tense, waiting for Ibiki to tell them how they were going to do the game. "All right, we're doing it ARMY STYLE!" Everyone silently groaned in their heads, but didn't say anything. "You're all going to get on your stomachs on the opposite sides of the court. The 28 Dodgeballs will be in the middle of the court. When I say go, you better run like hell and get a ball, because if you're not fast enough, you just might get hit!" Ibiki looked around and saw every boy's eyes were on a dodgeball. He grinned and started. "Readyyyy.......STOP!" Two people ran, only to catch what he said and slammed on their faces because they tried to stop too fast.

Before they could get up however, Ibiki quickly roared out, "GO!" meaning the two who got a false start were now vulnerable and at a disadvantage. Oh how he loved doing that. The game went on for a few minutes as everyone was trying to either hit, or not be hit. Every now and again someone would get hit and would be stuck going over to the sideline. After a few people got out, Ibiki suddenly roared out, "JAILBREAK!" in which all the people who were 'out' were now back 'in'. Kakashi got hit once, while Gai got hit twice. Genma got out 3 times before he got hit again. Kakashi and Gai locked eyes and grinned. Gai shot a yellow dodgeball at Kakashi, who used his dodgeball to deflect Gai's ball. Gai paled as he realized he was vulnerable and got hit in the face as Kakashi's dodgeball came flying through the air. Now it was one-on-one. Kakashi had a blue dodgball in his hand and turned towards his final opponent.

The boy's name was Raikiri Kenta. He stood 6' tall, had brown hair and light blue eyes. He was wearing the usual Gym uniform, which consisted of a grey T-shirt and black shorts, while he was holding a green dodgeball in his hands as he grinned at Kakashi. "You ready to go down Kakashi?" "Yeah right Kenta." Kakashi grinned underneath his mask. The tension was so thick, someone could cut it with a butter knife. It was a few minutes until Ibiki got sick and tired of waiting. "DAMN IT! SCARECROW! STICKS! DO SOMETHING BEFORE I HAVE YOU TWO RUNNING LAPS AROUND THE SCHOOL!" Ibiki roared out in irritation. Kakashi sweatdropped at both his nickname and the threat. Kenta was twitching as he had to take the insult, while on the inside his inner persona was having a tantrum. 'DAMMIT! I can't help it if I've got a high metabolism!' Kakashi was sick and tired of waiting and threw his dodgeball before running to get another one. Kenta, being as skinny as a skelaton, turned sideways and the dodgeball shot by him. "Hey! Where'd he go!?" Someone called out joking. "He's so thin, when he turns sideways, he disappears!" Someone else called out. Kenta got pissed off and threw two dodgeballs and hit the two boys square in the face. "WOULD YOU GUYS SHUT THE HELL UP!?" Kenta roared out as he turned back in time to dodge a dodgeball heading his way.

The two continued to battle it out, Kenta usually dodging more than shooting, seeing as his accuracy was crap, while Kakashi continued to fire ball after ball at Kenta. Kenta finally got a good shot at Kakashi who fell backwards and used his hands to catch himself, barely dodging the ball. He was now doing what some people call 'The London Bridge' before rolling on the ground and grabbing another dodgeball. Kakashi threw a solid shot at Kenta, who was now near a wall though he didn't notice it. As the ball came closer, Kenta slipped and fell backwards, smashing his head against the wall and getting knocked out cold. A loud "Oooooohhhh....." could be heard as the class winced in sympathy for the boy. Ibiki ran over to Kenta, checking to see if he was alright as Kakashi ran over as well, being the good sport that he was. Ibiki picked up the light-weight boy and walked towards the bleachers before laying him down near it. He turned to Kakashi. "You won, now go get an ice-pack from the nurses office and bring it back here." He ordered the boy. Kakashi nodded and then ran towards the nurses office.

~Near end of Class, 2:40 P.M.~

Kenta had regained consciousness and had taken some Tylenol for his big new headache while holding an ice-pack to the back of his head. Kakashi walked over to Kenta and apolagized fo the injury. "Don't worry about it Kakashi, it was alot of fun!" Kenta said smiling as he put the icepack down and shook Kakashi's hand. "I hope for a re-match someday, one with less slippery floors!" Kenta joked. The two laughed before the bell rang, signaling they could go home.

~Hatake Residence~

Kakashi had just gotten home and threw his backback into a corner of the room. He walked into the kitchen and saw a note on the table. He picked it up and sighed. They were gone....again. He started walking to his room before he heard a beeping sound coming from the phone. He walked over to it and pressed the 'play message' button.

*beep* "Hi there, this is Ms. Anko Mitarashi from Konoha High School. I was just calling to remind you that your son, Hatake Kakashi, agreed to come over to my house this Saturday to study for his upcoming Health test. If there is a problem that has come up, or you just want to ask me something, just give me a call." She then left a number which Kakashi wrote down on a piece of paper.

Kakashi deleted the message and pocketed the number before heading to his previous destination. As Kakashi entered his room he walked over to his bookshelf and pulled out some books, revealing a hole in the framwork. The hole had a medium-sized wooden box in it and Kakashi pulled it out and took out the key that was hidden around his neck. Kakashi inserted the key and turned it. With a *click* Kakashi opened up the box to reveal at least 5 books of Icha Icha paradise. Kakashi couldn't help the grin that crawled across his face as he looked upon his, 'Precious' books. In the back of his head he wondered if he should talk like a movie character, but ignored it as he walked over to his bed and sat the box down before he himself sat down. He pulled out the note his parents left him and sighed. He re-read the letter.


Sorry to leave you home alone again, but you're father had an asthma attack and was sent to the hospital. I'm sure you can take care of the house until I get back the day after tomorrow. Sorry for leaving you again, but you know how life is, it never goes the way you planned it.

Love, Mom

Kakashi sighed once more before turning to his only comfort, his father's books. He pulled out the five books and looked at each one smiling, wondering which one he should re-read today. He just couldn't stop re-reading the books. No matter how many times he read them, he still got excited. He sighed as he wished his life was like the stories, if he could find someone to love him the same way the heroine in the story loved the hero.

He picked up the first book. It was an orange colored book that was titled Icha Icha: Shinobi Wars. It told the story of a mysterious man whose life was a living hell. He had to fight ninja's, protect random civilians, and had to train a group of annoying little 'Genin' as they were called. He found a woman that was extremely sly, seductive, and had been forced to live a life where people treated her like dirt because of a certain ninja. The hero felt sorry for her, and he started trying to talk to her and getting to know her. She was extremely cold to him, but when she felt like having sex, she would find a guy and get laid. Because of this, she was known as the whore of the village. One night, when she was feeling the need to, 'relieve herself', she brought the hero to her apartment, and they made love together. It was odd, but the woman gained feelings for him, which had never happened before. She then had to find it in herself to be with the hero, having to lower him from his high position as a 'Jonin' to be with her.

Kakashi sighed as he leant his head back. That would be an amazing life. To be able to use a magical force called 'Chakra' and be able to use thousand upon thousands of techniques, or 'Jutsu' as they were called. Everytime he read it, he pictured himself as the ninja and Anko as the seductress. Kakashi then wondered why there was such a huge power struggle between the hidden villages when it was so easy to make peace and make the lives of the villagers easier. He shrugged as he put down the book and turned to the next one.

It was a purple book that was titled Icha Icha: Forbidden Love. This story was about a boy named Uzumaki Naruto. Naruto was a regular high school student, but had a huge crush on his teacher, Ms. Kyuubi. Ms. Kyuubi was Naruto's math teacher, and Naruto both hated and loved the class. Naruto was really bad at math, but loved seeing the teacher. He had some gay guy named Uchiha Sasuke always chasing after him and, histerically, whenever the emo boy would leave a note in Naruto's locker, all he had to do was smell it. Naruto had found out he could smell if it was from the emo, considering the envelope would reek of a gay. So whenever he smelled emo, he would just throw away the letter before walking off towards his friends, leaving Sasuke to wonder how he knew it was from him. Naruto had a math test coming up one day and the teacher, seeing as his grad was the lowest in the class, offered to tutor him. Naruto practically lept for joy at the chance for spending more time with 'Kyuubi-sensei' as Kakashi dubbed her. When the day came that Naruto would be tutored by his teacher, Naruto went over to her house and they studied for a few hours. They had spaghetti and, after they were done, they continued on with their studying. Throughout the tutoring however, Naruto kept noticing Kyuubi's breasts every time she leaned forward to correct one of his problems. Naruto couldn't help the growing bulge in his pants and eventually, the time for tutoring ended and Naruto walked up to Kyuubi, saying that he would be heading home. Kyuubi however, wanted Naruto to stay longer and, after a string of embarassing incedents, the two wound up in a bed, naked and horny. The story continued on with them wanting to stay with each other, but running into problems involving the emo and his friends.

Kakashi sighed again. While he would love to be in that position, he had a few problems. One, while he did have a crush on his teacher, he was almost positive that his teacher didn't have a crush on a little man like him. (even though he was as tall as her, if not taller) Second, he didn't have some emo guy that had a crush on him, which he was acutally quite thankful for. However, he couldn't help but wish that something as interesting happened to him when he went to get tutored at his teachers house. He then sighed. Right, like something like that was going to happen. This wasn't some story that someone made up from reading two other stories.

A shrug of the shoulders later Kakashi settled on 'It can happen in my fantasies' before picking up the purple book and opening up to the first page. "Chapter One." Kakashi said as he started on the novel.

~The next day, (Saturday) Hatake Residence, 5:00 P.M.~

Kakashi was just about to start reading the purple book again. He had just gotten past the part where Naruto and Kyuubi had sex at her house, and was going to continue when he remembered his study night. He sighed realizing that he had to walk at least a couple of blocks to get to her house. (don't think he spied on her, she gave him the address) Kakashi then grabbed a small snack to hold him over before packing his school supplies. He didn't know why, but for some reason he brought Icha Icha: Forbidden Love with him. He figured it as the desire to finish reading the chapter he was too tired to finish the night before. So as Kakashi walked down the street, he began reading his book once more.

~Mitarashi Residence, 6: 50 P.M.~

Kakashi was arriving upon Anko's house when he decided it would be a good idea to put the book away. No need for him to piss off his teacher by reading porn in front of her. As he walked up the steps to her house, he rang the doorbell and waited for it to be answered. He began to worry as he heard something crash onto the, from the sound of it, hard-wood floor and the house going silent before he heard a, "COMING!" and the sound of a door being un-locked. As the door opened up, Kakashi smiled to his teacher who looked like she had, for lack of better description, wrestled with a tiger. Anko brightened up upon seeing Kakashi and let him into her house. Kakashi looked around and held back the whistle. He was half-expecting her house to be in a wreck, and half of his expectation was right. There were some parts of the house that seemed, unorganized, while the other half seemed clean. The house was only one story, probably with a basement if the window near the ground outside of the house was any indication. The room had a cream colored wall, with a love couch, two chairs and a coffee table. Kakashi dubbed the room, the living room, seeing as it was the first room of the house. Anko walked off into what he guessed was the kitchen and called out for him to 'have a seat and don't mind the mess'. Kakashi sat down and looked around. There were a few doors off to his right, and two doors to his left. He began to wonder which door lead to what room when Anko poked her head out from the kitchen. "Sorry about the wait, if you want, I'm making spaghetti for dinner." Anko said as she went back into the kitchen. Kakashi froze upon hearing what Anko was cooking. 'S-spaghetti!? D-does that mean that she....No no, I'm getting ahead of myself, it's only a coincedence.' Kakashi said trying to reassure himself. Anko came back with a plate of the pasta before giving it to Kakashi, who thanked her for the food. "Um....Ms. Anko?" Kakashi asked as he turned towards his teacher. "Hm?" Anko said as she slurped the noodles into her mouth. Kakashi couldn't help the shiver that ran down his spine as she slowly brought the noodles into her mouth. After she was finished she looked at Kakashi expectantly. Kakashi was very happy that he had his mask on, otherwise Anko would have noticed the blush that stained his face. He finally snapped back out of his daze and asked Anko his question.

"Umm...W-what, what was that noise that I heard earlier? It sounded like something fell onto the floor." Kakashi asked, hiding the nervousness in his voice. Anko sighed. "A friend of mine asked me to watch her 'precious angel from above' while she went out of town." Anko sighed. "You're baby sitting an animal?" Kakashi asked. Anko nodded her head. Kakashi was about to ask what animal it was when something shot from underneath his legs. "WAH!" Kakashi yelled out in surprise as his spaghetti jumped into the air and fell, miraculously, back onto his plate. Kakashi looked at his plate in amazement, wondering 'How did I pull that off?' before looking down the hall to see a cat. The cat had orange fur, and a red ribbon on its ear. Kakashi looked at the animal in amazement before something in his head clicked. 'Orange fur, Red ribbon on it's ear? OH CRAP! IT'S THAT TORA CAT FROM ICHA ICHA: SHINOBI WARS!' Kakashi thought in horror. 'So THAT'S why she looked like she wrestled a tiger....' Kakashi thought as an afterthought. Anko picked up her plate and walked into the kitchen. "Did you remember to bring your books?" Kakashi snapped out of his horrer-induced state and answered. "Yeah, they're in my backpack. I'll get 'em." He said as he put his plate down and grabbed his backpack. He plopped it down in front of him and started rummaging through it until he pulled out his textbook and some paper, as well as some pencils. Anko came back in with a small floppy book and sat next to Kakashi. She opened up the book and started flipping through the pages.

Once she found the page she was looking for, she turned towards him, hiding the book's contents from him. "Okay, let's see what you remember." Kakashi involentarily shuddered. "What...hmmm...what bone is here?" She pointed to her collar bone. "The Collar bone." Kakashi said as if it were common sense, and it was. She bopped him over the head with her book. "Wrong, I want the scientific name." She said grinning. Inner Kakashi was slamming his head on the desk once more as he was trying to remember the name of the bone. Kakashi was sweating as he tried to recall the name of the bone. "Ummmm......the clavicle?" He said closing his eyes expecting to be hit. After a moment of not getting hit, he opened up an eye to see her smiling. "See? I knew you were a smart kid." She said as she looked for another question. "What is the name....of this bone?" She pointed to her lower arm, her pinky's side. "The Radius." Kakashi said in a know-it-all voice. *THWACK!* "OW!" "Wrong, the Radius is the thumb-side, the Ulna is the pinky-side. Round three..." Anko said going onto the next question, the grin never leaving her face. This would be fun, for her at least.

~2 hours later~

Kakashi's head was riddled with lumps as he only got about half of the questions right. After awhile though, he started catching his mistakes and eventually he could answer two of every three questions right. The spaghetti was already finished, and Kakashi actually forgot about Anko's prescence, save for the times she would hit him over the head. Kakashi had just gotten the last question wrong and earned another hit over the head as Anko started grinning again. "Not bad, you still need some work though. Just study tomorrow and the day before the test and you'll do fine. and I don't mean study for all of ten seconds, I mean the amount of time that we took." She said giving an accusing glare to Kakashi. Kakashi sighed and nodded his head. "Excuse me." He said as he got up and walked to the bathroom. When Anko heard the door click she finally let loose a tension in her body that Kakashi hadn't noticed and flopped onto the couch. 'Geez, I can't believe I did it...I actually didn't pounce on him like I thought I would! Congratualations me, you've just made it through the tutoring without raping your student.' She thought to herself in relief. She then glanced over to Kakashi's backpack. She sighed. They had finished the tutoring, and Kakashi would be leaving soon. So she thought that she would be the nice teacher and start putting his stuff away. She picked up his textbook and opened up the top zipper of his backpack and gasped. it was crammed. She twitched but none-the-less started making space for the book and, after a while, finally got it in. She then zipped it up and grabbed his pencils. She opened up the next zipped and gasped once more. It was empty! She sighed and decided to try the next zipper. When she opened that pocket her eyes widened. A grin crawled across her face as she put in the pencils, but pulled out a medium-sized purple book. She read the cover and started grinning more and more. Ooooohh, was this kid going to get it.

Kakashi had just exited the bathroom, while thinking, '~Sweet Relief!~' As he turned the corner, he gasped in horror. His book was on the table. Kakashi quickly looked around to make sure Anko was nowhere in sight, and krept over to his book, hoping for a miracle to happen and he would not get busted for having the book. He got his book and slowly un-zipped his backpack, put the book in the empty pocket, and zipped it up. He was just about at the door and reaching for the door handle, hoping to already be outside by the time he told her he was leaving. He was NOT going to get busted for this, his only comfort. He had just wrapped his hand around the doorknob when suddenly his hair was pulled. "YEOW!" Kakashi yelped out in pain. He turned around to find the most terrifying sight a man could ever see. Anko, and that evil grin of hers. The grin that promised he would not make it through the night.

Kakashi was shaking like no tomorrow as he shrunk underneath Anko's gaze. "Where do you think YOU'RE going, Ka-ka-shi~?" She sang out in a voice that would make hell freeze over. "U-u-u-u-u-ummmmm I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I w-w-was g-g-going.........home?" He squeaked as he said the word 'home'. Anko's grin became worse, and Kakashi just wanted to break down crying, but his body was too stiff to do anything other than shake. Now, we can't forget Kakashi's three inner personalities, can we? Of course not.

~Inside of Kakashi's mind~

The good Kakashi, evil Kakashi, and Inner Kakashi were all running around in a panic as they were all crying out in a terrified voice, "WE'RE GONNA DIE! WE'RE GONNA DIE!! WE'RE GONNA DIE! I'M TOO YOUNG TO DIE! I DON'T WANNA DIE! SOMEBODY SAVE US!!" They all cried out as anime tears were coming from their eyes in torrents that would make waterfalls turn away in shame. "THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!" MY FAULT!?" "YES YOUR FAULT! IF IT WASN'T FOR YOU AND YOUR STUPID IDEAS WE WOULDN'T BE IN THIS MESS! AND YOU PROMISED A HAPPILY EVER AFTER!" "I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU BELIEVED ME! I'M THE EVIL PERSONA! I'M SUPPOSED TO LIE TO GET WHAT I WANT!" "WHY AM I EVEN IN THIS POSITION!? I DIDN'T GET A CHANCE TO HAVE A VOTE IN THIS! WHY DIDN'T YOU GUYS LET ME GIVE MY OPINION!!??" As the mentally unstable Kakashi's ran around in chaos, we now return to Kakashi's current 'I'm screwed' position.

~Outside of Kakashi's mind~

Kakashi was shaking like no tomorrow. He wished his life was over right now, even though he never got the chance to get laid. He had gotten his first kiss from Rin, but that was years ago, and she fell for Obito. He didn't mind that. Obito was his best friend. Kakashi mentally cried as he realized he would never get to read the rest of the Icha Icha series, and worse yet, he would never be able to try out all the positions the books showed him. Kakashi was wishing for a quick and painless death, so he closed his eyes waiting for the inevitable to happen. And did it happen. Before Kakashi realized just what the hell happened, his mask was off and Anko was kissing him on the lips.

~Back in Kakashi's mind~

All three Kakashi's were staring at the moniter (which displayed Kakashi's vision) and had their jaws on the floor.

~And we're out again!~

Kakashi didn't even respond as Anko pushed her tongue into Kakashi's mouth, he just wished that this dream wouldn't stop anytime soon. Anko dropped his mask and used her other hand to push Kakashi's mouth further into hers. Kakashi by this time had dropped his backpack and was finally coming back into reality. He slowly moved his hands towards Anko's waist, and securely wrapped one arm around her, pulling her towards his hormonally raging body. He then brought his other hand up and caressed the back of her head. Anko shivered as she felt Kakashi's cold hand touch her neck. She couldn't hold it in anymore as she pushed him against the door and kicked their intimacy up a notch. After a few moments of making out, they pulled away to gasp for air. Kakashi looked up to see Anko's glazed over eyes and decided to push his luck. He started pushing her towards the couch and pushed her over the arm-rest of the chair, and landed on top of her. Anko started to unconsciously grind her hips into Kakashi while she smashed his face back down onto her lips. The two continued to make-out until Anko couldn't take it anymore. "Bed....Now..." She panted out. Kakashi, unfortunately or fortunately, didn't know where the bed was. Anko caught this and got up and led him seductively to her room.

If Kakashi wasn't entranced by Anko at the moment, he would have noticed the normal sized bedroom that had a queen-sized bed with purple covers, a small dresser over to the right, and a closed window to the left. Anko continued to lead him over to the bed, but before she got there she let go of his hand and climbed onto the bed. She turned around, and looked at Kakashi with lust-filled eyes. Kakashi was currently thinking only one thing. 'THANK YOU NARUTO FOR THE WONDERFUL STORY!' He dropped all other thoughts as he climbed onto the bed and layed on top of Anko.

Kakashi locked lips with Anko as she started removing their clothes. Kakashi could only blink before he realized that they were both naked. He subconsciously wondered how the hell she pulled that off, before he saw Anko turn and give him a nice view of he rear. Kakashi could only stare at the plump ass in front of him before looking into her eyes that pretty much said, 'You don't fuck me now, I'm going to rape you'. Kakashi didn't need to be told twice as he grabbed her hips and aimed his now fully erect manhood at the entrance of her behind. He slowly started pushing into her when he could hear her moans, which only coaxed him into going deeper. Kakashi finally had all of him inside her before he slowly started pulling back. When his tip was at her entrance, he started pushing back in, earning another moan from the purple-haired sudectress. Kakashi continued to go in and out of her before he heard Anko moan out for him to go faster, in which he did. Before he knew it, he was practically pistoning out of her as she cried out his name. He could feel something in his stomach as he neared his climax, and with a cry of, "ANKO-SENSEI!" he came. With the feeling of Kakashi cumming in her behind, Anko cried out in pleasure before she climaxed as well. Kakashi fell on top of her as they started panting. After a few moments, they calmed down and Kakashi chuckled. "Looks like you'll be needing new sheet's Anko-sensei." He whispered in her ear as huskily as he could. The effect was instantaneous, as Anko could feel the need for another round. "These sheets were getting old anyway." She said seductivley as she got up over him and hovered her womanhood right above his now twitching member. Kakashi then realized that she was teasing him. The word, 'Seductress' flew threw his head as he realized this. Oh, if she thought she was going to get away with this, she was dead wrong. Kakashi suddenly thrust into her womanhood before shooting up and latching his mouth onto her right nipple, while his other hand almost expertly started to rub her left nipple between his index and thumb. Anko at first was reminding herself that she was a teacher, it wouldn't look good on her resume if it said that she had sex with one of her students. She was, afterall, a teacher. However, all thoughts were lost as Kakashi started wrapping his tongue around her nipple, and she just decided to screw it. Literally. With one last climax, Anko went into her frenzied lust mode, in which her first instinct was to get pounded by the closest man around, which was the one who was currently pounding into her anyway. As Kakashi climaxed, he heard Anko scream out his name before she passed out. Kakashi just laid there for a minute, Anko on top of him completely content at the moment, before he decided he wanted more. He was wondering how to get more pleasure out of sex when a position from one of his father's books popped into his head. A sly grin crawled across Kakashi's face as he got into the position.

Anko was rudely awakened to Kakashi slamming his, once again, rock hard member into her pussy as she screamed out in pleasure. Kakashi started hitting her at a different angles until Anko's back arched and all she could see was white before she came back into consciousness. Kakashi had hit her G-spot. Kakashi grinned as he realized this, and proceeded to hit her there multiple times, causing the woman to climax multiple times, but not being given the chance to pass out as Kakashi continued to pound into her. Kakashi finally remembered something one of the hero's in his story did to the heroine after he made her come close to orgasm. Kakashi slowly pulled his member out of Anko and he slid her pussy up to his face. Anko, through hazy eyes, wondered what he was doing. Not a moment later a bolt of electricity shot through her body as Kakashi's tongue entered her folds. As Kakashi's tongue seemed to go deeper, he heard Anko scream out his name once more before her juices splashed into his waiting mouth. Kakashi loved the taste of it, and reminded himself to make sure he got some more before this was all over. The rest of the night, Kakashi spent trying out numerous positions with his more than eager partner until they fell asleep.

~The next morning~

Kakashi woke up to a small ray of light hitting his face. He cracked open an eye and immedietaly knew he was not in his room. As he bagan to wonder where he was, he also started to wonder what had happened last night. He tried moving but found a weight on top of him. Not only that, but he felt a tingle below his stomach. Kakashi looked down to see Anko laying her head contently on top of Kakashi's chest, while her ass was in plain view of Kakashi. Kakashi then noted that her ass was where his manhood should be. He tried moving, but instead got a moan from Anko and another tingle below his stomach. Kakashi then put two and two together and realized his member was still in Anko's pussy. Kakashi grinned as the memories of last night came flooding back to him. He grinned even more as he remembered what Anko had said before they fell asleep. "Don't worry Kakashi-kun, we'll try the other positions next time." Kakashi's smile, as well as his manhood, grew bigger as the memory came back to his mind. Kakashi then noticed a bookshelf off in the corner of the room, and saw some Icha Icha novels that he'd never seen, nor read before. He would have to get to those later. He also noticed a familiar looking purple book. Kakashi smiled as the words of the letter his mother left him came back to him.

You know how life is, it never goes the way you planned it.

Kakashi smiled. 'No, no it does not.' Kakashi thought as he kissed Anko's forehead before grabbing a blanket (though dirty) and draping it over their naked forms. Kakashi figured they would be going for another round when Anko woke up, if last night was any indication. Might as well get some of his strength back. In the back of his mind, a Kakashi with a halo above his head was crying as a smile was present on his face. "I love happy endings." The good Kakashi said. "I love sex!" Said the evil Kakashi as he held up a familiar purple book. "I don't care, as long as you got a video of last night recorded!" Inner Kakashi said as he glared at the evil Kakashi. "Do you really think I would forget something like that?" The evil Kakashi said as he held up three DVD's. The three Kakashi's all jumped for joy as they all chorused.

"Hooray for mature stories!" "and Sex!" The evil Kakashi added.


25 year-old Hatake Kakashi walked up to a small white house on a hill. He pulled out a pair of keys and un-locked the door. As he stepped into the house, two small children ran up to him yelling. "DADDY DADDY!" They chorused. Kakashi bent down and hugged his kids, smiling as he pulled out two stuffed animals. The two were ecstatic to see the toys. There was a boy and a girl in Kakashi's arms as they hugged their dad. The boy, Naruto, jumped up and down as Kakashi had given him a small red fox. "Thanks daddy!" Naruto said as he hugged his father and ran to show his mother. Kakashi watched the silver-haired boy as he to the kitchen to show his mother. Kakashi chuckled as he saw Naruto had drawn whiskers on his face again. The boy seriously had a thing for foxes. Kakashi then turned towards his daughter, Tsuki, and held out a small rabbit plushie. She jumped in joy as she ran after her brother while letting her rabbit fly through the air. Kakashi followed after them and walked further into the house to smell his favorite dish. "Honey, I'm hoome!" Kakashi called out in a sing-song voice. "I could tell by the stampede the kids made getting to the door!" Anko called out from the kitchen. She walked into the room and kissed her husband. "Welcome home, fun trip?" "Bushels of it." Kakashi said sarcastically. They walked into the kitchen hand-in-hand as Naruto and Tsuki got into their chairs. The six year old twins had their plushies next to their plates as they waited for their parents to sit down. Kakashi sat down while Anko went over to the stove and brought the pot over to the table. She set it on a hot-pad on the table and took off the lid revealing tangy spaghetti. Naruto whooped in joy. "It's Pasghetti!" He cried out happily. The table laughed as they said a quick prayer of thanks before they began to eat. Kakashi chuckled as he remembered that was Naruto's first word, 'pasghetti'.

After the tutoring at Anko's house 8 years ago, Kakashi kicked up his studying so he could be with Anko. After a few more rounds, Anko eventually got pregnant. Kakashi at first was running around in circles panicking on, 'HOW AM I GOING TO TAKE CARE OF THEM!?!?' before his friends helped him out. Kenta had found out early and had sent Kakashi some money to 'help with the baby' as he put it. Kakashi kept trying to pay him back afterwards, but Kenta refused saying it was for the baby. He found out later that Anko had twins, and was ecstatic to see them. Kenta had made Kakashi promise to make him their uncle and, after some more argueing, became the uncle of Naruto and Tsuki. Gai had gone out and started his own gym called the 'The Youthful routine'. He had found a pupil whose name was Lee who, after training at Gai's gym, re-named himself Rock Lee, and was training to become Gai's successor. Genma had decided to become a photographer, and had sent pictures of his many trips back to Kakashi and his other friends.

He chuckled to himself. He guessed he really did get a happily ever after. After putting the kids to bed, Kakashi walked to his room to find Anko looking at him with the same lust-filled eyes. "Ready for another round?" She said seductively. And Kakashi did go another round...and another, and another, and another.


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