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Monday, May 5, 2008

Girl Trouble chapter 3

Girl Trouble 3

Author: 4ng3legg

When Naruto woke up he realized two things. 1 - He was still a girl and 2 - He was in Hinata’s bedroom.
Alone, it seemed.
Naruto sat up in Hinata’s bed and looked around. His forehead hurt.
Hinata had used the same trick he’d used on Izumo.

Then Naruto realized a third thing – someone was nearby.
Naruto kept still and tried to listen carefully.
There was definitely the sense of chakra nearby.
Outside the room, Naruto realized – in the hall!

“NEJI!” Hinata’s voice roared from the hall, “You pervert! You’re terrible! Stop spying on Hitomi while she’s sleeping!”
Muffled voices.
A scuffle.
Neji finally yelled, “FINE!” Footsteps stomping away.

The door opened and Hinata walked in, carrying a tray of food, “Oh, you’re awake!”
“If I hadn’t been, I would have woken up after hearing you and Neji.”
Hinata grinned, “He was using his Byakugan to spy on you.”
Naruto gasped and covered his chest with his arms.
“That… doesn’t really help.” Hinata said, her grin widening, “But he’s gone now. So come and eat some breakfast and we’ll go to the Hokage’s office the second you’re done.”
Naruto didn’t need to be told twice.

Ten minutes later found the two leaving the Hyuuga House.
“Do you need someone to accompany you?” Neji asked when they walked outside the main gate. He’d been waiting there.
“No.” Naruto said, still embarrassed to have been oogled by the supposed genius.
“Besides, you’re supposed to be training with me today!” Tenten marched up to Neji, “What’s your problem? Asking Hinata-chan and… and…” Tenten stared at Naruto.

“Who. Is. This?” She asked slowly, casting Neji a dark look.
“This is my cousin, Tenten-chan. Her name is…”
“Oh!” Tenten interrupted, “Oh… okay… then she’s your cousin, Neji?”
“No.” Neji answered, “She’s Hinata’s cousin from her mother’s side. We’re not related at all.”
Naruto laughed, “Wrong answer, genius boy.”

Tenten was glowering at Neji, “So… what? Do you like her or something?”
Naruto coughed and stepped back, “This isn’t any of my business. I have an appointment to keep. Come on, Hinata. Before Tenten pulls out her scrolls.”

“I’m really surprised at you, Naruto.” Hinata said. She held his hand but only barely.
“All these guys after you. I’m surprised you haven’t Kage-Bunshin’d the lot of them! Or Rasen Shuriken’d them all.” Hinata laughed, “Isn’t that what you would usually do?”
“Tch.” Naruto shrugged, “Look – I’m stuck in a jutsu that I have no idea how to stop. If I pulled out my well known jutsus then everyone would know it was me and they’d all laugh at me for not being able to release a stupid jutsu. I’d be humiliated!”
“Besides,” Naruto said reasonably, “I can understand why they’re after me. I mean, look at me, Hinata. I’m gorgeous.”
Hinata laughed.

“You are gorgeous!” Inuzuka Kiba said.
“Oh, jeez.” Naruto moaned.
“Who are you?”
Hinata sighed, “Cousin Hitomi, I’d like you to meet my teammate, Inuzuka Kiba and his nin-dog, Akamaru. Kiba, this is my cousin, Aoki Hitomi.”
Kiba stared at Naruto for the longest time.
“W-what?” Naruto said finally.

“You smell strange.” Kiba said bluntly, “Like… Naruto but… also like Hinata.”
Naruto’s eyebrows rose, “What?”
“It’s her clothes.” Hinata said, “Hitomi-chan is very clumsy and this morning she fell into a puddle of mud. Naruto’s apartment was nearby so we asked him for some clothes because we didn’t have time to stop at my house.”
“Oh…” Kiba shook his head, “Huh.”
Akamaru barked at Naruto and nudged his hand.

Naruto pet the huge dog, “Nice dog.”
“We have to get going.” Hinata said, pulling Naruto, “Bye Kiba.”
“I’ll walk with you!” Kiba said, walking beside Naruto, “Akamaru really seems to like you, Hitomi-chan. He’s a really good judge of character.”
Akamaru barked and wagged his tail.

“He says if you want, you can ride on top of him.” Kiba translated.
“No – that’s fi-AYYAAAHHH!!” Naruto screamed as Akamaru shoved him from behind, throwing him up into the air and caught him on his back.
“What’s the big idea!?” Naruto cried, clutching the dog beneath him.
“Wow! Akamaru must really like you, Hitomi-chan. The only people he allows to ride on his back are me and people he’s known his entire life… Hinata… Shino… Naruto…”

Kiba jumped up behind Naruto and grabbed his hips.
Naruto twitched, “W-well thanks, Akamaru but my legs work fine. I can wa-AARGGHH!!”
Akamaru took off into a run.

“Isn’t this great!?” Kiba yelled over the sound of the wind rushing over them, “Akamaru never lets me bring girls along for the ride. You must be something special, Hitomi-chan!”
Naruto couldn’t talk. The wind was shoving him backwards into Kiba’s embrace.
Kiba’s fingers were digging into his hips. And Kiba was talking directing into Naruto’s ear.
“We should definitely go out sometime, Hitomi-chan!” Kiba said as his hands slid over Naruto’s thighs.
“Noooo!” Naruto screamed, “STOP AKAMARU! STOOOOP!”

The huge dog stopped and Naruto jumped off, “I’ve got to go but later I’m gonna kick your ass, dogboy!” He roared, “Grabbing all over me! Jeez! That is not the way to treat a girl!”
Kiba stared at the beautifully livid girl, “Wow…”
“SHUT UP! If I ever see you do that to another girl I’ll neuter you, do you hear me?” Naruto yelled, “I’m gonna be traumatized for years after this!”
Naruto stomped away, searching for Hinata.

“Do you need me to teach little Kiba a lesson?”
Naruto shuddered.
Kakashi had suddenly appeared and was standing way too close to Naruto for comfort.
“What is it with you guys?” Naruto asked, “Haven’t you heard of personal space!?” He shoved Kakashi away, “Leave me alone!”

Kakashi was utterly confused – for several reasons.
He’d never been rejected by a girl before. One look at him and girls were dying for him to get near. Then despite his hearing perfectly well that Hitomi wanted to be left alone, there was something about her that made him not listen.

“You’re right, Hitomi-chan.” Kakashi said, catching up to Naruto, “I’ve been way too forward with you. I’m sorry. I just can’t control myself around your ethereal beauty!”
He grabbed Naruto’s hand, twirled him around and caught him.
One kiss and Hitomi would be all his!
Kakashi tugged at the mask over his face.

Naruto stopped yelling and stared. He’d never seen Kakashi’s face beneath the mask!
And now, finally, after a bazillion attempts to see the mysterious face, here it was!
‘Kakashi-sensei is finally going to show me his true face…’ Naruto thought, ‘In order to… KISS ME!’

Naruto screamed and shoved the butt of his palm up into Kakashi’s face.
He thought he heard a sickening crack.
Blood poured from Kakashi’s broken nose and the Jounin collapsed onto Naruto.

“Naruto!” Hinata cried out, running to them, “What did you do to Kakashi-sensei!?”
“I think I killed him!” Naruto cried. He shoved his unconscious teacher off of him and onto his back, “I didn’t mean to!”
“I’ll go get a medical-nin!” Hinata said just before she disappeared.
“Kakashi-sensei! Kakashi-sensei!” Naruto called, patting his face, “Wake up! Don’t die!”

“Move out of the way!”
Naruto looked up, “S-sakura-chan!”
Sakura shoved him aside and pulled Kakashi’s mask off his face.
There it was!
Naruto stared. It was still an obstructed view! There was too much blood!

Sakura placed her hands over Kakashi’s face and used her medical jutsu to heal his nose.
“He should be fine…” Sakura said, relieved.
“Whew!” Hinata said.
“Wow, look at all this blood.” Sakura said, “You really socked him one good!” She looked at Naruto, “Whoever you are!” She pulled out a small box from her pouch and from there, pulled out a damp one-time use towel. She began cleaning off Kakashi’s face, “So why’d you knock him out?”
“He was getting too close.” Naruto said distractedly.
The face was coming into view!

Kakashi groaned as Sakura wiped off the last of the blood, “W-what happened…?”
“This girl knocked you out!” Sakura laughed, “She broke your nose!”
Kakashi sat up, leaning on his hands. He looked at Hitomi.
Naruto looked at him.
What an anticlimactic turn of events!’ Naruto thought, dismayed, ‘Kakashi is normal-looking under that stupid mask!’

Kakashi was never one to miss an opportunity to attack when an opponent was distracted.
He grabbed Naruto by the scruff of his shirt and kissed him.
“Oh my!” Sakura said.
“Uh oh.” Hinata said.
Naruto shoved him away, “DAMMIT! DIDN’T YOU LEARN THE FIRST TIME, DUMBASS!?” He punched Kakashi in the face, effectively knocking him out again.
“At least you didn’t break his nose!” Sakura said smiling, “He’ll have one hell of a headache when he wakes up.”
“GOOD!” Naruto barked as he stomped away.

“WILL IT NEVER END!?” Naruto cried as Kotetsu tackled him to the ground.
“You’re just as beautiful today as you were yesterday!”
“And you’re just as annoying!” Naruto said. He jumped up and turned, only to find Izumo was blocking him, “I FORGIVE YOU!” Izumo cried as he clutched Naruto around the waist, “You must have been afraid of your strong feelings for me to have knocked me out!”
Naruto struggled to get out of Izumo’s grip but the man was disturbingly strong.

“Ha! She doesn’t like you! She knocked you out!” Kotetsu said as he tried to pull Izumo from Hitomi.
“She does too like me! She kissed me!” Izumo argued. He nuzzled Naruto’s stomach.
“YOU KISSED HIM?” Kotetsu asked, astonished.
“Izumo-san! Kotetsu-san!” Hinata called, “You mustn’t treat Hitomi-chan so roughly! She’s very delicate!”

“Who’s delicate?” Sai asked, standing beside Hinata, “What’s going on?”
“HELP ME!” Naruto cried as he tried to pry Izumo off, “He’s… crushing… me!”
“Who is that?” Sai asked, watching the struggle with interest.
“My cousin.” Hinata sighed.

“Hmm…” Sai said, “I wonder why Kotetsu-san and Izumo-san are clutching onto such an ugly girl.”
“UGLY!?” Kotetsu and Izumo cried out, “Are you stupid?”
“ARE YOU STUPID AND BLIND!?” Jiraiya appeared, “This girl is GORGEOUS!”
He, too, joined the struggle to pull Izumo off.

Sai peered at Naruto, “Kind of stupid looking to me.”
Naruto grimaced. He didn’t know whether to be offended or pleased that at least one of the guys wasn’t drooling all over him.
“Would you rather have them clutching onto you?” Naruto asked, grabbing Sai’s shirt, “The Act of Switching Technique!

Suddenly, Izumo found himself clutching Sai’s waist, “EHH!”
“HIIIITOOOOMIIII!” Izumo cried, shoved Sai away.
“Where’d she go!?” Kotetsu asked, pushing Izumo to the ground, “She was just here!”
“She’s escaped!” Jiraiya said, stepping on Izumo’s back, “I’ve got to find her!”

Hinata found herself being dragged along as Naruto ran through the village.
“There hands… were all over me!” Naruto cried as he ran, “And Izumo… he… his face…”
“Maybe it’s a part of the jutsu…” Hinata said, “Maybe it makes men go crazy.”
“I think I would have remembered putting that into the jutsu, Hinata! I just did a simple Henge!”
Naruto cried out as he ran straight into a solid mass.

He stumbled backwards and fell to the ground.
Hinata managed to stay on her feet, “Chouji-kun! Shikamaru-kun!”
“What’s going on? Why’re you running, Hinata-chan? And who is this?” Chouji asked.
“How troubleso-“ Shikamaru stopped and stared at Naruto, “Wow.”

So a gigantic thank you to ShyTan'ith for pointing out that 'Hitomi', when said outloud, sounds like 'Hit on me'.
That's so great. I hadn't even noticed that. Merely introducing herself, Hitomi is asking for trouble! Ha!

And now Naruto is beginning to fight back. Poor Kakashi. But at least he got his kiss!

And what's with Sai?
He seems to genuinely believe the girls are all ugly. What's up with that?

Oh I made up 'The Act of Switching' jutsu. It's a pretty useless jutsu if you think about it, because you seem to need to be able to touch the person you're switching with but in this situation, I find it appropriate.

Apparently, I find the need to add more chapters.
What'll happen next time!? Only time will tell...


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