“Choji’s Last Stand” – Kiba Inubake
I made this after inspiration from Choji's Chunin Exam preliminary match while my internet was down. I think it really does Choji justice, although I can't quite say I'm a big fan of his. Anyway, enjoy!
And yes, I did use a lot of dialogue from the English dub. Deal with it.
Two adolescent Genin stood face to face, pitted against each other for the chance to advance in their exam.
“Now, let the 10th round begin,” announced Proctor Hayate Gekkou.
Both contestants wanted to taste victory. It was for their future, for their honor… But triumph was not the only source of encouragement among them…
“Wroooooarr!! All-you-can-eat barbecue!!!” The pleasingly plump one roared. The promise of meat was the best prize to this Genin, despite everything.
“You can do it!!” Shikamaru encouraged. His method of aiding Choji was to make him feel good about himself. However, his method was slightly askew from his female teammate’s.
“Fatso~!!” Ino taunted. Every jeer against Choji filled him with rage; therefore, she presumed affronting him impishly would get him fired up so he would give it his all, even after hearing of the glorious prize that awaited the Akimichi boy following his victory.
Down at the first floor of the Chunin Exam preliminary arena, Choji shook with anger. “Grrrr, okay! I’m gonna finish this match—it’s only gonna take about 2 seconds—and then I’m coming after you, Ino!”
“Fine, fatso, if you want this match to end quickly, I’ll just win it quickly,” Dosu stated.
Choji threatened, “You’re gonna go down hard, you mummified weirdo!”
He let go of his antagonism for a moment to plan out his strategy. ‘I know his techniques all too well from my last battle with him. Those holes in his arm emit a pulsing sound,’ Choji reflected, taking close note of his offensive strategy. ‘But if I can’t hear it, he can’t hurt me!’ The Akimichi ninja readied for combat. He shifted his hands into an upward-slanted position, each finger touching its match on the other hand.
“Ninja Art: Expansion jutsu!” Choji announced. His whole body enlarged tenfold in a spherical manner, resembling a human ball. “Barroom!” Choji sung, pulling in his limbs and head. ‘This’ll protect my ears from his attacks!’ He bounced up. “And crush him like a bug!! Human Boulder!!!”
Shikamaru peered down from the second floor. ‘Hmm… If I’m right, Choji’s thinking he can avoid that Sound guy’s attacks by making them inaudible to him. But he’s forgetting that sound can be transmitted through his body, too…’
“Choji!” Shikamaru called out. The rolling meatball halted to change direction, out of Dosu’s way; and his opponent stood still.
Choji’s head popped out. “What is it, Shikamaru?”
“Be careful out there! Just because your ears are covered doesn’t mean you won’t hear anything! It’s like how you heard me, despite your ears being covered,” the Nara genius explained. “If those sound waves even come in contact with you, they’ll be transmitted to your ear drums!”
“Ahh, okay. Got it, Shikamaru!” And with that, Choji reversed the Expansion jutsu. His body returned to its normal size, a cloud of smoke covering the process.
“All right, time to win!!” Choji shouted enthusiastically. He flung several smoke bombs around Dosu’s feet, and followed by throwing Makibishi spikes at the ground around him. “This’ll make things easier!”
Meanwhile, Dosu was stuck inside a ring of fire. He couldn’t flee, and his vision was obscured by smoke. ‘Hunh, smart tactic…’ Dosu swung his right arm into the air, sound waves emitting and moving around him. Hopefully, they wouldn’t have lost enough power by the time they hit Choji. Unfortunately for him, they did; once they touched him, they had lost practically all strength.
“Haha, you didn’t hurt me!” Choji immaturely taunted. He pulled out a kunai and wrapped a paper bomb around it. Once he sealed it on, he quickly flung it at the base of the smokescreen. The blast sent Dosu flying.
“Arrgh!” He grunted as he fell to the ground, several feet behind his initial place. ‘Damn it, I won’t let him win that easily!’
“Having trouble? Hahahah!” Choji mocked, laughing cockily.
Dosu scowled at his insults, but then realized something. ‘That’s it…’ He deliberately ran into the field of smoke.
Over on the sidelines, several of the…slower Genin wondered what Dosu was doing.
“Hey Kakashi-sensei, what’s that mummy guy doing?” Naruto asked.
His teacher sighed. “He’s found out where Choji is by his voice, so he’s going to make a surprise attack by suddenly appearing from the smoke,” he explained the situation to his student. “I wonder if he’s considered the spikes, though…”
And sure enough, the minor character that’s only in one season became a temporary comic relief character. “Agh, damn it…” Dosu pushed on, despite the occasional blow from below. As Kakashi predicted, Dosu popped out from the smoke, carrying on with his surprise attack. “I’ve got you!” Dosu shouted as he neared his foe.
“Substitution jutsu!” He just barely escaped Dosu’s sonic attack, replacing himself with a wooden Makibishi spike out of the many metal ones he had thrown, just in case he needed a backup plan to resort to.
And yet again, Dosu stepped on a Makibishi spike. “Damn it!!” He then gasped, taking note of the wooden property of this one, and the result of stepping on it. “Curses, a splinter!”
Choji laughed mockingly, and charged at Dosu—post use of the Expansion jutsu. “Barroom! Human Boulder!!!”
Dosu had let his guard down, wincing in pain from all the damage he had done to his feet; and because of this, he had failed to dodge Choji’s sphere of pain. “G-AHH!” Dosu cried in agony as 600 pounds of enlarged Akimichi meat crushed him. Choji bounced off of him (doing additional damage) and returned to the center of the stadium. He reversed the effect of the jutsu.
Hayate walked over to Dosu, examining his flattened, defeated state. “The winner is Choji Akimichi,” he announced, motioning for the medics to come over with a hand gesture.
The Konoha ninja cheered for Choji, particularly Squad 9. “Way to go, Choji!!!” Ino shouted happily from the top floor.
“Great job, Choji!” Shikamaru complimented, now having descended to the lower level, along with the rest of the Genin.
“I won!!!” shouted Choji. “All-you-can-eat barbecuuuuue!!!”
Shikamaru and Ino sighed. ‘That’s our Choji, always thinking with his stomach…’ –End of Story!!
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