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Saturday, May 31, 2008


A/N: My first Naruto ficcie! Really there’s no genre in particular. A thoughtful Gaara recalls a previous conversation that may lead to a change of heart. --; I was so inspired to write a fanfic centered around Gaara though. His past is really tragic and had me nearly crying.

Disclaimer: Nani?! I don’t own Naruto?! How do you know that? Wait...I don’t.


Author: paperbutterfly

He stared down at his hands for a moment. The scarlet stained his fingers and blossomed on the lush green grass under his feet. It had never occurred to him before that something like this had happened. He had never come in direct contact with blood before except for the fight at the chuunin exam. Besides that, the sand had always mingled with the blood and it was just there. He’d never bothered thinking about what he did. To him, the only way to feel his own existence was to kill others. Then he’d feel their pain, through the numbness of his own life.

His life was a complete lie.

That’s what the boy was thinking at the moment. His dark red hair contrasted with the pale skin and his eyes were almost thoughtful as he gazed down at his hands. The sand ninja almost looked like a normal boy for a moment. It was startling change from his normal ruthless, unemotional gaze.

“What are you doing here?”

The voice snapped him back from his reverie and the pale blue eyes narrowed as nearby leaves rustled. Out stepped the infamous boy who was possessed by the Nine Tails. The blonde boy leapt to the ground from the tree branch and landed in a crouching position very similar to that of a fox. The other boy was slightly amused for a moment at the subtle but certain resemblances between Uzumaki Naruto and a kitsune.

“Oi! Don’t you know that it’s impolite to ignore someone when they’re speaking to you? You Gaara person!” Naruto was indignant as he glared at the shorter boy. It really wasn’t fair how people tended to ignore him. Well, the village people did it since they despised him but a stranger ought not to! The blonde boy scowled even further.

Gaara coolly looked at him for a moment. What Uchiha Sasuke had been talking about suddenly hit him as he stared at the fox-boy. He had never realized it before, or perhaps it was something he never wanted to realize. Like a mental barrier blocking himself from moving on. It was the loop in his mind, making everything replay over and over again. Gaara tensed and his fingers curled up into fists involuntarily. His mind wandered back to the previous conversation he had before.

I told you before that I was an avenger...that I only lived to kill the person who was stronger than me.

He wanted to do something. Do anything to get the stupid boy to stop looking at him. The old temper flared up inside of the sand-nin as his gaze fell to the boy who was glaring heatedly back at him. But he had told himself that it was going to be different this time. Before, he had underestimated Uzumaki. More correctly he never knew enough about the other boy in the first place. Gaara closed his eyes for a brief moment, the memories unbearable and rushing to his head. It was nauseating. He started to feel sick as he remembered...everything.

But I’ve changed my mind now. About everything that I said before.

Naruto looked at the other boy in surprise. By now he had expected some sort of reaction or response. He had heard that Gaara lacked emotions and even humanity perhaps but he looked human at the present moment. Perhaps it was rumors. Then the boy grimaced as he sighed mentally. He wasn’t exactly the village’s most favorite person either. Come to think of it, past the fact that their personalities were totally conflicting everything was the same. The hatred that everyone had felt for them, the pain, and then some acting in their fantasy world. Pretend he does not exist and maybe it’ll come true.

I’ve learned you can’t be a shinobi by hatred. Someone once said that you are truly strong when you’re fighting for something precious.

For a moment, the two boys stared at each other. They didn’t know what to expect and for once Gaara was speechless. In a second he dropped his mask and the blonde boy stumbled back. The look in his eyes...the solitude and loneliness of all those reached him. His eyes were so similar to his own. They had the same sadness in them like they knew something that was an impossible dream but still craved for it. Naruto closed his eyes tightly and looked away from the raw pain in Gaara’s eyes. Those eyes hurt, the overwhelming rush of emotion...he couldn’t deal with it. It was too much for him. All those taunting by the village kids and the revulsion when everyone turned away from him.

...why do you need anything precious? The only thing in this world you have to worry about is yourself. There’s no need for others. They only burden you more.

A comfortable silence settled over the two of them as thoughts floated in their minds. But it was an awkward position to be in and the normally composed sand-nin was disturbed by what was happening. If Uchiha Sasuke...his words...they made no sense. Did that mean that for the past six years of his life, he, Gaara, had been lying to himself? No. It couldn’t possibly be that. He knew what was going on. He had his priorities straight. Right? Gaara was unsure of himself and that upset him. He had always been the one in control and never bothered to muse beyond two simple options: “To kill or not to kill.” All those other questions, they were flooding his minds and he wondered if he could take it all in.

Everything I said before about being who I was...forget about it.

The boy in orange lifted his head up and stared at the other boy. Who knew people could be so different from what you assumed they were? He certainly wasn’t afraid of Gaara at the moment but they always said that a shinobi has to be alert at all times. It was no exception at the moment.

That was the past

Gaara looked up and blinked, his eyes regaining their usual placid expression and he loosened up. A very very faint smile curved on his lips as he looked at Naruto. It was such a small smile but meant everything between the two of them. Something had been found, and the something was precious but fragile and so hard to regain if lost. Naruto blinked before flashing a famous fanged smile and chuckling to himself. Then Gaara bowed ever so slightly, his head barely lowering just to acknowledge the other boy.


And then he turned and walked away.


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