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Saturday, May 31, 2008

Matterhorn Bobsleds

A/N: My first Naruto fic! Flames are welcomed, but as always, compliments are the best. ;

Flame me cause it features shonen-ai and I’ll hunt you down. If you don’t like specific couplings, why are you reading it and flaming it?!

Um, let’s just say Naruto and all the people his age are 17. But somehow, they didn’t go through the exam and they’re all still Chuunins doing their D-rank missions.

…Don’t ask me how that’s possible. It’s fanfiction.

The only Japanese word I’d probably use is “-sensei” which most of you know. It’s used for teachers, those who don’t. I am not gonna use the “-san” or the “-kun” or the “-chan” because that just confuses me. Everyone tells me different things. I get the main geist of it, but I won’t use it. Please don’t write the meanings in your review, if you were thinking about it. Thanks, but no thanks.

Oh, and the characters all mysteriously know English. Don’t ask about that either.

Sasuke is a little OOC. I think. I dunno. I suck at writing stories. Don’t throw tomatoes. I like grapes.

Anyway, enjoy!

Matterhorn Bobsleds

Author: the original Kuroi

Uzumaki Naruto frowned and crossed his arms. It’s seemed like ages since he stood there in the smothering heat. It wasn’t fair that he was here. He didn’t want to come and he was sure a lot of others didn’t either. But all the adults insisted this was good for everyone and the Hokage agreed. And then they all had to set out to this horrifying place. It was too far from home and everyone here was too cheery to be real. There had to be a hoax behind it all. Naruto was sure of it. But of course, he and his fellow ninjas were forced beyond their way to come here. To come to this freaky, twisted place.

Disneyland in California.

The word bought shivers down Naruto’s spine. How could anyone survive here? All the stumbling mascots of the amusement park had forever smiling faces. And all they did was shake and dance, never saying anything. Not even the human mascots.

Then again, this trip did mean a break from all the missions. Though it gave Naruto a sense of thrill occasionally, it was still very tiring and lately, they’ve been doing D-rank missions again. Besides, this trip was free and that included food, shelter, and everything else. But he still missed his ramen.

Clearing his thoughts, Naruto looked ahead and sighed. The line hadn’t moved an inch. He was standing near the front of the line, behind a couple, and had been in the same position he had been for fifteen already and he should be riding the rollar coaster already.

“Stupid bitch,” muttered Uchiha Sasuke in Japanese as he glared at the worker up front. Naruto couldn’t disagree. The lady in front of the line filed her nails and blew them, not really caring about the complaining customers.

“Naruto! See what you’ve done? Now you’ve made us wait in this line for over an hour and we’re still stuck here!” Haruno Sakura ranted. She gave the blond the evil eye who frowned.

“But Sakuraaaaaaa, this looked so interesting!” His eyes followed the ride. It was called ‘Matterhorn Bobsleds’. They went up and down, twisted and turned. The ride lasted for two minutes, at least. Not really worth the wait, but it was one of the few ‘exciting’ rides at the park. Most of the rides seemed too babyish to Naruto and the others. Shrieks of excitement came from the people riding it. They were coming to an end, soon, fortunately for Naruto and the others.

“He is right, Sakura,” Rock Lee piped up from the back. Sakura’s eyebrow twitched. “It does look kinda fun.”


“See?” Naruto grinned. “Two against one.”

“What?! You forgot Sasuke! He’s against it, too! Aren’t you, Sasuke?” Sakura looked at him with hope in her eyes. Her hands were clasped together.

Sasuke looked away in annoyance. Who cares about this ride? He was stuck with these people that when he wanted to be alone and up in a tree somewhere in the area they called ‘Main Street’. Of course, the blaring trumpets and drums from the small parade were gonna annoy him as much as his teammates’ arguing and people would only look at him funny if he sat up there. Somehow, he had a feeling there’d be a team of life-savers trying to “save” him from the tree.

Sakura sweat dropped. Sasuke was ignoring her again. She took the silence as a ‘yes’, though, not willing to lose face to Naruto. Before she could say anything, though, the lady up front spoke.

“Okay, next up,” she drawled. “How many here?”

“Two,” said the couple. She nodded and when the ride came, she had them sit in the front. The guy sat in the back, opened his legs and the girl sat in between. They buckled their belts and waited. The lady turned to four ninjas.

“So, which other two will go ride in the back?”

Naruto dropped his jaw. Sakura would only ride with Sasuke and there was no way he’d ride with funny brows back there. No one spoke for a few minutes and Sakura was ready to grab Sasuke and drag him over to sit in the back. The girl sighed, exasperated.

“Fine, you two boys will be in the back,” her long finger pointing to Naruto and Sasuke. Sasuke’s mouth followed Naruto’s example. He was not going to ride with Naruto, especially not in that position.

“Hurry up!” shouted the guy sitting in front. His girlfriend nodded in agreement.

The lady in charge took Naruto and Sasuke by the arm and led them to the ride. “Get in and sit.”

“But--” started Naruto in Japanese but quickly switched it to English. “But--”

“No buts,” the lady said firmly. “Get in or get out.”

“…” Sasuke got in the sled unwillingly. He waited in that line too long to go to the front and just leave. Trust Naruto to pick a ride with such a compromising position and not even notice it. At least the ride was just two minutes. He buckled his belt and looked at Naruto who looked back.

“I’m not sitting in between your legs.”

“Afraid of the ride?” snorted Sasuke. It struck a nerve in Naruto.

“Saaaasuke,” he growled and hopped in. He buckled his belt and grabbed onto the rail in front. “Don’t you dare touch me.”

“As if I want to,” muttered Sasuke. He propped his arms behind him, against the back of the sled.

“The ride requires legs and arms inside the sled,” The lady smirked. Sasuke glared at her and slowly put his arms down. They brushed against Naruto who felt a jolt. What the hell was that? He thought. He growled again.

“Don’t get too close, Sasuke.”

“Dumbass.” He checked to see they weren’t touching and looked to the left. The fake mountain looked pretty decent.

Sakura was seething from the line. NAARUUTOOOOO. DAMN YOU! DAMN YOU! HOW DARE YOU… YOU TOOK SASUKE! AND I’M LEFT WITH BUSHY EYEBROWS! She glanced at her fellow ninja and shuddered at the glee on his face. DAAAAMN YOU!

The ride started slowly and Naruto squirmed in his seat. Sasuke felt his face burn up as he felt Naruto’s butt rub against his thigh. He stiffened and cursed himself. What the hell is he feeling? He’s not gay and he certainly would not be getting turned on by this dumb blond!

“Naruto,” he fumed.

“It’s too slow! Why is it so slow?!” whined Naruto.

“Idiot!” Sasuke snapped. The couple up front sweat dropped. Even if they couldn’t understand Japanese, they knew he was calling his ‘friend’ a bad name at the anger in his voice. “Have you not been looking at this freaking ride?! You wanted to come here! It always starts out slow!”

“Too slow,” Naruto continued to whine. He squirmed more and Sasuke burned.

“Stupid. I thought you didn’t want to be touched.”

“Of course I don’t!”

“Then quit leaning against me, moron!”

“I am not!” Naruto paused and realized he was. His face flushed as he moved a little forward. “Not any more, any way!” The cart started to go up.

“Moron.” Sasuke snorted.

“Shaddap.” Naruto paused. He turned around.

“What are you doing? You’re not supposed to turn around, stupid.”

“Why is your face so red, Sasuke?” Naruto blinked. “It’s not that hot.”

“I am not red in the face, idiot.” He tried to keep his voice steady.

“Are you blushing?” Naruto blinked again. Sasuke never blushed. At least, Naruto’s never seen him blush and he saw Sasuke every day. “Why are you blushing?”

“I am not blushing!” Sasuke said through gritted teeth.

“You are!” Naruto bounced a little, causing the people around him to yell. “Sorry, sorry,” he said in English and then turned to Sasuke. “Why are you blushing?” He stopped. A lot of girls always blushed around Sasuke when they were talking to him. He occasionally blushed when he talked to Sakura. Sasuke is blushing right now and he’s with Naruto. “EH?!” he yelled. The couple up front shot him dirty looks. “S-sa-sasuke!” he stuttered. “I didn’t know you swung that way!”


“And you like me?” Naruto gaped. “I knew I was somewhat attractive, but I was hoping to attract Sakura, not you!”

“What?!” Sasuke burned. “I do not like you!”

“Suuure, you don’t.” Naruto glowered at him. “I’m not as stupid as everyone thinks.”

Then you should have figured that Hinata likes you, dumbass, thought Sasuke as he rolled his eyes. “I’m not attracted to you. For all I know, you could be attracted to me and just saying all this to see what I feel.”

“What?! I am not!”

“Oh yeah?” Sasuke challenged. “Then why were you so worried whenever I was injured in battles?”

“That’s what teammates do! Worry about each other!”

“And that time you kissed me.”

“That was an accident!”

“And you are always so mad when someone asks me out on a date.”

“Because I don’t know what they see in YOU!”

“And you dream about me.”

“How do you know? Eh, wait--”

Sasuke looked at Naruto. He was merely trying to goat the boy, not really knowing if any of it was true. And now here the plain truth was, smack dab in his face and he was at a loss of words. Was Naruto really attracted to him?

“You tricked me!” Naruto accused. Sasuke glared at him.

“I did not!”

“Did too!”

“Did not!”

“Did too!”

“Did not!” Sasuke slapped a hand to his forehead. Naruto always made him act like a child, making him lose his cool.

“Did tooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!” Naruto yelled. They hadn’t noticed the ride started and they were now going up and down, round and round. “AHHHHHHHHHHH!” Naruto screamed. Sasuke looked on, wide-eyed. He urged to yell like Naruto but kept his mouth shut. The spinning and the wild flashes were giving him a headahce. He crossed his eyes but that made him feel sick to the stomach.

Naruto was blown back against Sasuke in surprise but he couldn’t move. He couldn’t really do anything but scream, at the moment, and besides, it felt nice. Sasuke clutched Naruto’s left arm and squeezed. Naruto paused his screaming to yelp at the pain and then went back screaming. Sasuke’s death-like grip was really painful, though Naruto wouldn’t admit that to anyone.

The ride slowed and the screaming stopped. Naruto’s heart pounded as he pushed himself back against Sasuke. Sasuke was too much of a shock to complain.

The ride halted at the stop and Sakura looked at her teammates with a shocked expression. Sasuke and Naruto were leaning against each other so close it seemed like they were a couple. Nooooo, Sasuke is not gay! He’s straight! He likes girls! He doesn’t like Naruto! She pleaded, ready to throw a tantrum.

Naruto numbly got up and Sasuke followed. His hand was still on Naruto’s arm as they both shuffled slowly to the exit. They plopped down on the concrete floor, not noticing the pain on their rear ends.

“That was…” Naruto started. “……that was… SO FUN!!” he tore away from Sasuke’s grip and got up, jumping up and down. “Let’s go again! Let’s go again! Let’s get in line and wait for Sakura and Lee! Let’s go again! Ne, ne, Sasuke? Want to? Want to?”

His only reply was Sasuke throwing up on his shoes.


A/N: Kuroi-chan feels really stupid now, after writing this.

Such a failure. Such a failure. Such a failure.


And I’ve also blown the bobsleds out of proportion. But that I had to!! I really had to! I couldn’t think of another ride! -.- After all, I just went to Disneyland three days ago.

And no, I have nothing against Disney. I love Disney. Go Disney. I just needed something like Disney for Naruto to pick on. Yes, yes, yes.

In fact, I had a million other ideas for Naruto and Disney, including mascots and the Indiana Jones ride and all that. But I don’t think I’ll ever show face at the Naruto section again. Ahhh! That was so bad! (and I’m still gonna post it… funky)

Please don’t hunt me down and kill me. TT Gomen nasai.

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