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Tuesday, May 12, 2009

The Viper and the Fox

A/N: Just a little one shot I did because I was bored. This is independent of all my other stories. This is based on one of my more favourite pairings. It is based after the failed Sasuke Retrieval.

Disclaimer: I don’t own Naruto.


The Viper and the Fox

by DazBoz

Naruto sighed as he sat down looking up at the Hokage Faces.

“Well… look what I found,” Anko chuckled as she walked over to him. “All out here by yourself, no Tsunade to protect you?”

“Hey,” Naruto nodded, “What’s with you being up here?”

“Can I not stalk my favourite prey?” Anko purred as she sat down beside the boy.

“Favourite prey?” Naruto chuckled, “Is that a compliment or…”

“Who knows?” Anko grinned. “It is what it is. So why are you up here all alone on a night like this?”

“Just thinking,” Naruto replied.

“What about?” Anko asked.

“Well… Sasuke and everything,” Naruto scowled. “I wasn’t strong enough to bring him back.”
”That’s not your fault.” Anko smiled, “You tried your best, right?”

“Yeah, but I promised Sakura-chan I would get him back.” Naruto turned to Anko, “And I always keep my word, that’s my…”
”Nindo… my Ninja way,” Anko finished. “Well looks like you have bitten off more than you can chew with this though.”

“What do you mean?”

“I know from experience how tempting power from Orochimaru is. I guess Sasuke is just a ball-less wuss who can’t achieve power by himself.” Anko turned to Naruto. “No amount of ass kicking will bring him back; you’ve got to move on.”

“What’s with the life advice?” Naruto grinned.

“Like I said, you’re my favourite prey.” Anko winked. “And while you are in this mood your just no fun to play with.”

“Well, sorry.” Naruto rolled his eyes. “And here’s me thinking you cared.”

“Aw… is little Naru-chan upset?” Anko mocked him.

“Ah shut it!” Naruto span around aiming a kick for Anko, who dodged it.

“Oh, have I made little Naru-chan mad?” Anko whipped out a Kunai and threw it at Naruto.

“Damn it!” Naruto growled as the Kunai pierced his palm. He staggered backwards and into Anko’s arms. “What was that for?”

Anko pulled the Kunai out of Naruto’s arm and licked it clean of his blood. “Hmm… tasty as always.”

“You’re weird.” Naruto grimaced as his hand healed.

“I know,” Anko chuckled as she released Naruto. “But would you like me any other way?”

“Tch,” Naruto turned away, still holding his healing hand, “How can I ever become Hokage and protect and entire village if I couldn’t even save my best friend from himself?”

“You know something,” Anko grinned as she licked her Kunai, “There are some Genin who would kill to have me pay this much attention to them, and here you are ignoring me!”
”Why would someone want you to stab them?” Naruto asked.

“I meant the whole sexy flirting thing,” Anko rolled her eyes.

“Huh?” Naruto tilted his head, “When did that happen?”

“Can you not feel the sexual tension?” Anko threw her arms up in the air, “Kami help me!”

“Sexual tension… what’s that?”

“…” Anko sighed, “Well I’m not going to tell you because to be honest you probably wouldn’t know all the words so it would be a waste of my time. Suffice to say, sexual tension is what you fear when you are with me.”

“Oh,” Naruto frowned, “I thought that was called fear.”

“You’re scared of me?” Anko sat down, “Am I really that intimidating?”

“I didn’t mean it like that!” Naruto noted her increasing depression.

“I guess that’s all I’ll ever be…” Anko sighed, “The scary, creepy snake bitch…”

“That’s not true!” Naruto smiled widely at her, “You’re pretty and fun to be around and you tried to cheer me up, which puts you above most of Konoha in my opinion!”

“I’m pretty?” Anko positioned herself so that her trench coat wasn’t revealing all of her figure, but enough to give the imagination plenty of fuel to speculate on what wasn’t showing. Unfortunately her target seemed oblivious to her sexual enticements.

“Yeah,” Naruto grinned his fox-like grin.

“How pretty am I?” Anko leaned forwards, staring into Naruto’s eyes.

“Er… really pretty?” Naruto tried.

“Really, really pretty?” Anko moved close to Naruto until she saw the blush on his face and could practically taste his nervousness. “This…” Anko whispered, “is sexual tension Naruto-kun,” she finished in a husky voice. She delivered her message with a kiss.

As her tongue forced its way into Naruto’s mouth, his first thoughts were I wanted my first kiss to be with Sakura but they were quickly replaced by Damn this feel good! Uncertain on what to do, he started to fight for dominance with his own tongue, earning pleased moans from Anko.

Damn, this kid doesn’t mess around! Anko thought to herself as Naruto pushed forward, effectively pinning Anko to the ground as he lay on top of her, passionately kissing her.

As they broke apart, Naruto blushed slightly. “That was amazing Anko-chan.”

“I aim to please,” Anko grinned back. “I assume you’re not depressed anymore.”

“No way,” Naruto smiled genuinely, “Thanks Anko-chan.”

“No problem,” Anko grinned and affectionately ruffled his hair, “But I’ll have you know my services have a fee!”

“Nani?” Naruto scowled, “You started that kiss!”

“You’re right,” Anko smiled. “Do you want another?”

“Yeah,” Naruto grinned as he leaned forwards and kissed her again, this time he lead the assault and was rewarded by a series of pleased moans. Anko forced her way on top, sitting atop Naruto as she broke the kiss, she grinned, “So, that time you started it!”

“Ah!” Naruto groaned. Damn it! I wasn’t thinking straight!

“Aww… is little Naru-chan feeling stupid?” Anko purred.

“What is the payment?” Naruto asked, scared at what the psycho would request.

“How old are you?” Anko asked.

“Twelve,” Naruto replied.

“Hmm…” Anko sat up, “I’ll have to wait four years for my payment.”

Naruto may have been stupid, but he knew the laws of Konoha and knew that technically a citizen was deemed an adult at sixteen. And as an adult he could drink and raise a family. “You want to raise a family with me? Or go out drinking with me?”

“Hmm…” Anko purred, “It could be a little of both.”

“Oh,” Naruto breathed a sigh of relief, “I thought you were going to charge me a limb or something dear to me.”

Anko chuckled. “Oh I will claim ownership of something very dear to you,” She bent down and kissed Naruto again, “Of that you can be sure. And let’s write down so you don’t forget…”

***Four Years Later***

“Hokage-sama,” The Jounin raced into the office panting heavily.

“What is it Konohamaru? And the name’s Naruto damn it!” Naruto looked up at the third’s grandson.

“Sorry boss,” Konohamaru took a deep breath. “The crazy snake lady wants to see you!”

“Crazy snake lady… oh Anko,” Naruto nodded. “I wonder what she wants, let her in.”

“Hey there Hokage,” Anko winked as she entered the room. “How are you today?”

“Not too bad,” Naruto sighed and nodded at the paper work. “Didn’t realise that being a Hokage was mainly paperwork though… not to mention the entire council hates me, even though they voted me in!”

“People do strange things,” Anko nodded sympathetically.

“That they do,” Naruto nodded, “So I heard you wanted to see me?”

“Remember four years ago?” Anko asked innocently.

“Er…” Naruto scowled, “Sorry, should I?”

“I can’t blame you for forgetting,” Anko smiled, “After all you’ve had to face Akatsuki, went on a long training journey with Jiraiya, Fought Sasuke several times and finally defeated him. You fought Pain and won and also worked so hard to defeat the Uchiha who lead the assault against Konoha when you defeated his Akatsuki. All in all a very impressive resume.”

“Yeah, I guess I have been pretty busy lately,” Naruto grinned.

“So… allow me to refresh your memory.” Anko handed over a short scroll.

‘I hereby offer my virginity to Anko (Crazy Snake Lady) in four years time, signed the Future Hokage, Naruto Uzumaki (Age 12)

P.S. Believe It!’

“Ah,” Naruto looked up at Anko who was licking her lips. Oh crap… I am screwed… literally.

“Still a virgin?” Anko purred.

“Maybe…” Naruto started to back away.

“Well I’m here to collect payment!” Anko grinned as she pounced on the helpless Hokage.

Outside the office Konohamaru heard his boss’s pleas for assistance, but merely grinned.

“I’m sure that the boss can take on that scary snake lady,” Konohamaru chuckled.

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