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Tuesday, December 28, 2010


Story summary: The infamous trio are in our Universe, and, after watching a movie on alternate realities, consciousness as a person and how thinks can be seen are discussing the possibilities that in another life, they could have been stars of a TV show. So, in other words, they spend a couple of hours at the local park, and discover that none of them have what it takes to become a particularly good movie critic.
Warning: contains randomness.

Author : Idoshi

Uzumaki Naruto yawned, and stretched his body out onto the park bench, blond hair partially glowing from the sunlight that was cast through the foliage above him.
Beside him, Haruno Sakura sat, back pressed against the table and sitting outwards, earphones dangling from her collar and across her chest, muffled beats echoing from the speakers, and gazing towards the sky. The person across from her, however, had gone with the more antisocial approach and had buried his nose in a book, dark hair falling across his forehead and caught in the collar of his dark brown trench coat, whose tail was trailing on the grass. For the moment everything was still, as it was only early afternoon, as their English professor had decided to slack off work and go and visit his girlfriend instead, leaving his class with a good sixty minute early leave, which was how they had ended up near the playground in the first place. Honestly, Naruto was just pleased that there were no under fives there, or else the raven never would have agreed to stay for as long as he had. Despite the tranquility of the moment, however, his concentration on the vegetation that was blocking out large portions of the natural light was destroyed by when thoughts of the film they had watched in their very small double literature lesson chomped their way through his mind. Of course, they had only seen it because Kakashi-sensei had rented it out and was still carrying it in his bag, because it was overdue, but it had still awakened several new and interesting arguments in the depths of the blonde's subconsciousness.
"Hey, do you think you've lived before, ina different dream?" He asked suddenly, breaking the silence and causing Sakura to lower the volume of her music so that it wouldn't interrupt his voice.
"As what, a rabbit?"Sasuke said, eyes never straying from Charles Dickens's written text,but his ears pricked, to show that he was listening. His pink haired friend gave a muffled giggle at his bored tone, and the scandalised look that now adorned the Uzumaki's face, as if a topic such as reincarnation in that of a dream sequence should have very little if nothing, to do with lagomorphs.
"No, I mean like an alternate life, where you were Cleopatra or something, or you were an alien from another planet who migrated to Earth, like, several squillion years ago, or-"
"I think you've strayed too far from the TARDIS." Sasuke replied, still not looking up.
"..." Naruto no longer had a clue as to what he was talking about.
The Uchiha sighed. "It's from Doctor Who."
"Hey, don't compare to a ten thousand year old time... king."
"Yeah, you're right. You're not intelligent enough."
"But doesn't the main character have some weird ability that makes him spontaneously combust and then turn into a different person?" Sakura asked, turning around and propping her elbows up on the table. "So technically, it's kind of the same thing."
"Ha! See, teme? Sakura's on my side!"
The raven sighed again. "It's called regeneration, not reincarnation. And he still contains the same contains the same consciousness, he's not a whole new person. Jeez." And then he turned his focus back to his book.
There was a silence where Naruto merely stared at him with a mixture of unspeakable horror and shock, his mouth so wide that it was almost comedic. "My best friend's a geek!" He screamed, leaping off the table and beginning to run aimlessly in circles. "My life is over! I'll never be able to show myself at a ramen bar again!"
Birds screeched and launched themselves from where they had been roosting on the branches of the elm trees that dotted the park, as Naruto's yells of fury escalated in both sound and pitch. By this point, Sakura's laughs had increased so much that she had nearly fallen off her chair, tears rolling down her face. Sasuke merely rolled his eyes and tried to make it look as though he had no idea who the blond idiot was, and instead snapped the covers of his book shut and pulled out his iPod, browsing through the music and turning the volume up as far as it would go, mumbling under his breath. "That dobe had better hope that Tchaikovsky calms me down."
Sakura wiped her eyes dry, and grinned, before turning to Naruto. "Come, on, sit back down. Wait else were you going to say?"
But Naruto crouched down on a slab of concrete, about six metres away from the picnic table, wrapping his arms around his knees. "I'm not going anywhere near him." he said in a shaky voice, raising a trembling finger to point in the direction of Sasuke, as if he were some kind of contagious disease.
"Oh come on, you're making way to be a deal out of this." Sakura snorted, and looking at the Uchiha, who was blissfully unaware of the terrified looks that Naruto was continuing to give him, and then proceeded to sneeze. He glanced over at them as if sensing something, but made no move to speak. "What do you think, Sasuke?"
Sasuke said nothing, merely pointing to his headphones, and then back at his companion. The girl side, and then reached across and tugged the cord out of his ear.
"Oi!" The Uchiha said indignatly, reaching down to put it back in but Sakura clung on.
"I would have thought that you'd want to save your dignity." She said. The raven scowled at her, but stopped moving.
"You've ruined my life." The blond whispered suddenly. "I hate you."
Sasuke snorted. "Well it's good to know that the feeling's mutual, Usuratonkachi."
There was a pause as Sakura began to reconsider her next move to get them to have some kind of contact with each other. Unfortunately, the trio were interrupted when a woman and her daughter rounded the corner and the child, upon seeing the playground, leapt out of the stroller she had previously been sitting in and rushed forward with a scream of joy. Sasuke's teeth gritted together, and a glare began to steadily build up on his fce as the woman pushed the pram over to another table and sat down, never taking her eyes off the girl who was now causing serious damage to Sasuke's eardrums. He gave the adult a full on I-really-wish-you'd-just-piss-off Uchiha glare, and the woman instantly reacted by looking slightly shocked, and then retaliate with an equally powerful scowl, which made Sakura nearly double over again, but she managed to contain herself.
It took them more than half an hour to get Naruto back onto the table, and that was only down the very end, as far away from Sasuke as possible. The mother had also distanced herself from the Uchiha, and was now across the other side of the swings, nose buried in the midst of her tapping fingers as she typed out a text, probably complaining to a close friend how the youth of today were going to bring society to their knees in agony. Becauseafter all, Hitler,the Ice Age and current politics shrunk in comparison to the deeds done by adolescents on a day to day basis. They were a clear menace, and should be dragged out into the street and shot. Sakura had figured that both Sasuke and herself were sharing very similar thoughts, (yes! her inner voice screamed. We're perfect for each other! Cha!) because she could almost hear his perfect teeth grinding together.
"I think we could be a TV show."
Okay, that solved it. Naruto was mentally insane, and his speech were impossible to predict.
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Sasuke snapped, clearly still annoyed.
"Like there could be secret cameras!" The blond replied enthusiastically, standing up on the table and swaying dangerously as the uneven legs tipped at the sudden change in weight. "I mean, like, we could be the main characters in something, like we're actually undercover superheroes!" He held his hands out in front of him, as if holding an invisible camera, and swung them around to first shine on Sakura's face, then Sasuke's. "I mean, we could be anything! I had a dream once that we were ninjas!"
Sasuke sighed, but Naruto chose to ignore him. "Imagine, this could be a whole other reality for us, where we're secretly ninja crime fighters, and we can fight with knives and stuff! And we'd throw them and get missions and it would be awesome!"
"Of course Naruto. I had a dream once that I was a truck driver. Whoops, there goes my career as a lawyer." Again, Naruto chose to pretend that his friend hadn't even opened his mouth.
"Or...or... we could be a whole other species! And here," he said, putting on a thick British accent that sounded a strange amount like David Attenborough when discussing the reproduction tendencies of a killer whale, "We see the Uchiha Sasuke, in its natural habitat. Take note of the duck butt hair, and the way his anti social attitude may have lost him a mate, even at this young age. See how, when provoked, he raises his fist, and-OW!"
Sakura frowned at him, and rubbed her now sore knuckles against the soft material of her jacket. "Stupid baka. Don't insult Sasuke like that!"
Naruto whimpered, arms clasped over his head, whch was now sporting a large, baseball sized bump. Sasuke gave a little snort of contempt.
"Ninjas? Are you serious?" He chuckled. "And they'd let you go near sharp things? Not bloody likely. You'd probably end up killing yourself by accident, or killing yourself. Although," he leaned back, and looked the Uzumaki in the eye, "if you did that, I'm sure that everyone would be in you everlasting favour."
The blond felt a vein pop in his forehead. "And what is that supposed to mean, bastard?"
"What I mean, dobe, is that no one but your perverted guardian would be sorry to see you go!"
"Oh, you did not just say that!"
"Get your ears checked." Sasuke picked up his book again, acting oblivious as Naruto began to roll up the sleeves of his school sweater, smoke nearly trailing out of his ears.
"I would have imagined that we'd be in a soap opera." Both of the boys looked at Sakura, and saw that she was leaning on her hands, green eyes bright. "You know, becuase then it would be less likely for us to know that it wasn't real."
Naruto nodded his head eagerly. "Great idea! And we'd all be next door neighbours."
"Yeah," Sakura agreed, glancing over at Sasuke, trying to see his reaction, "and our characters would be so-"
A snort from Sasuke cut her off. "Right, right. Characters. And let me guess, since it's a soap opera, Naruto would be the idiotic teenager who expresses naive optimism to random strangers and be the first name listed in the credits, you would be the world wise rich girl that lives in Beverly Hills and who people write fanfictions about, and I'd be the self-abusive stepson who disappeared for two seasons, and then reappeared with no apparent warning in episode fifty four, after having some kind of relationship with a young woman from New Jersey called Kate, who's secretly Jillian's half-cousin. But don't worry," he said, rolling his eyes, and picking up his book again. "We don't find that out until Bill marries Maureen and then has an affair with Great Auntie Fanforondala."
There was a pause. "Wait, who's Kate?"
Sasuke shot him a look. "How the hell should I know? You were the one who started this conversation in the first place."
There was a longer, slightly more drawn out moment where Sasuke returned to his book, and Sakura and Naruto merely looked at each other, not really sure about what to say.
"I don't like this conversation anymore," Naruto said, standing up from the bench and swinging his rucksack onto his shoulder, "it's starting to destroy my views on reality."
"Right. But I'm sure that speaking in this conversation, and having to use that old brain of yours for once was the real cause of damage," Sasuke said evenly, snapping his book shut and stretching as Sakura pulled her bag off the floor where she had been sitting.
"I'm going to ignore that comment," Naruto replied in a huffy voice, beginning to walk and then slowing so that his friends could catch up to him.
"Good for you."
Shut up teme!"
They had reached the entrance the park, with its large, wraught iron gates, light cast on the shined surfaces from the setting sun, before Sakura finally voiced her thoughts.
"I think Leonardo Dicaprio is hot. That was totally the high point of that movie for me."
"Hn." Sasuke couldn't care less.
But Naruto decided to rub it in his face."Ha! See Sasuke! Sakura really doesn't like yo- OW!
"Hn." The Uchiha turned and began walking in the same direction as Naruto, leaving Sakura to walk to the left. The blond was cradling his now badly bruised shoulder as his walking was much more pain filled, and he began muttering insults under his breath.
"I hate you! I hate that stupid movie! Why couldn't he just take the stupid spinning top, and spin it! For the love of god-"
"Naruto?" Sasuke asked.
"Yeah, teme?"
"Shut up."
And The sun cast the shadow of the fallen boy across the pavement, as his friend continued on, single chess piece fingered in his pocket.

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