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Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Remedial

Language: Indonesia

Title: Remedial

Author: Sahara Mizuchikara

Genre: Humor, walaupun sebenarnya garing…

Dislcaimer: Bukan punya akiu… Karakter-karakternya punya Masashi Kishimoto.

Summary: Emangnye siape yang remedial…??

(AN: Maaf ya, kalo garing en nggak nyambung… authornya pun emang nggak nyambung (authornya masih pemula...)… Fanfic pertama akiu… Baca ya… )

Remedial

(emang siapa yang remedial sih?!)

Teras SMA Konoha…

“Duh, ujan! Kalau ujan jadi becek, kalo becek nggak ada ojek. Jadi gimana dong…?” sahut Ino sebal.

“Eh, Ino! Lo tuh ye, nggak banget sih! Masa trade mark-nya Cinta Laura lo copy sih?” ejek Sakura.

“Mending deh, dari pada elo. Nggak punya trade mark!” kata Ino makin sebal.

“Heh, siape bilang gue nggak punya trade mark?! Shannarooo!!” Sakura hendak memukul Ino, tapi…

“Shinranshin no jutsu! Lo nggak bisa ngapa-ngapai kan?!” kata Ino. Jutsunya membuat kaku badan Sakura.

Ukh, damn it! Kata Sakura dalam hati. Kapan-kapan mampus lo!

“Ah, itu dia! Sasuke!!” teriak Ino sekuat-kuatnya sambil melambaikan tangannya ke arah parkiran. Sementara yang dipanggil nggak negok dikitpun . Budeg apa? Wong semua orang yang nunggu di depan sekolah pada terganggu. Bahkan Kakashi-sensei yang sedang serius membaca (baca… ya… pokoknya baca itu deh…) pun merasa konsentrasinya buyar (Nggak salah?! Kan otaknya memang nggak beres kalau lagi baca?!).

“Heh, ribut banget sih lo, Ino!” tegur Tenten yang lagi duduk dengan Hinata. Nunggu jeputan ayah Hinata gitu loh! Sekalian nebeng...

Sementara itu Sakura yang badannya udah mulai nggak kaku lagi pergi mengejar Sasuke sebelum ia pergi dengan Thunder-nya.

“Sasuke! Tunggu sebentar!” teriak Sakura sambil lari. Sasuke yang mendengarpun merespon.

“Ada apa, Sakura?”

“Ano, Sasuke-kun… Kamu bisa anter aku ke rumah nggak? Ibuku nggak jadi jeput. Beliau ada…” kalimat Sakura dipotong.

“Kenapa nggak bareng Ino aja?” tanya Sasuke kalem.

“Ayahnya jeput naik motor, aku mana bisa ikutan nebeng. Kamu nggak bareng si bodoh kan…?” kata Sakura dengan wajah memelas. Acting… action!

“Si bodoh itu lagi remedial. Ya udah, naiklah,” kata Sasuke kemudian.

Inner Sakura: Shannarooo!! Berhasil!! Mampus lo Ino!

Kemudian Sakura nebeng dengan Sasuke. Walaupun hujan kena dikit nggak apa-apalah yang penting… Hihihihihi… Sakura cekikikan dalam hati.

Waktu mereka berdua (bertiga, sama motornya) melewati gerbang sekolah… Ino melihatnya…

“Ah! Sakura! Awas lo! Beraninya lo nyerobot bagian gue!” treak Ino lebih keras dari pada yang tadi. Bikin kuping orang-orang yang lagi nuggu disitu pada budeg. Bedengiiiiing. Suaranya melebihi geledek deh. Bahkan Asuma-sensei yang lagi minum kesedak, nyembur…! Jadi bikin repot Kurenai-sensei yang ada disebelahnya deh…

Sakura hanya menjulurkan lidahnya. Weee… rasain lo, Ino… Dan mereka pergi… eh, pulang bareng.

“Uhuk, Uhuek! Ino! Suara kamu jangan kenceng banget gitu dong!” ujar Asuma dibalik batuknya. Untung nggak kronis, dia kan perokok berat juga…

“Woi, Ino! Budeg tau!!” omel Tenten. Sementara Hinata yang disebelah Tenten pingsan. Untung Neji nampung sepupunya itu sebelum jatuh. Duh… bikin repot semua orang. Bahkan Shikamaru yang ada diparkiran (lagi nunggu Chouji yang… beli keripik kentang) bisa mendengar treakan Ino, dan berkomentar pendek, “Mendokuse…”

Tak lama kemudian, ayah Ino menjemput. Kemudian disusul Jaguar keluarga Hyuuga. Satu persatu mulai pulang meninggalkan sekolah. Makin lama makin sepi. Semuanya sudah pulang.

Semantara itu yang lagi remedial…

“Yeah! Selesai juga! Eh, Ebisu-sensei, ini. Aku boleh pulang ‘kan?”

“Hm… hm…” Ebisu memeriksa ulangan remedial Naruto.

“Masih belum tuntas, Naruto! Kerjakan ini lagi!”

“Ah, Ebisu-sensei! Kenapa sih?! Aku rasa aku sudah mengerjakannya dengan amat sangat baik sekali!!”

“Kau rasa. Aku rasa tidak,” jawab Ebisu dengan tenang.

“Ah, tidak! Aku mau pulang saja!” kata Naruto keras kepala.

“Kau pulang atau nilaimu merah dan kau tidak naik kelas…?” tanya Ebisu dengan efek kacamata hitamnya. Clink!

Muka Naruto jadi pucat karena mendengar kata tidak naik kelas.

“Ah… baiklah…”

Dengan lemas Naruto mengerjakan remedialnya yang kedua…

…puluh tiga kalinya…

Lagi, lagi dan lagi… aku remedial… batin Naruto.

“Aku lapar sekali… aku mau ramen, dattebayo…”

The End

Nggak jelas, nggak nyambung en garing ya…? Sori…

Review ya…

Salam.

The Beginning of Nightmare!

Language: Indonesia

Fanfic plesetan Author dari komik Naruto yang volume… un… lupa!! Pokoknya yang judul chapter-nya ituh The Beginning of Nightmare!! Yah, silahkan baca! Tapi jangan lupa untuk Rev. (Review, red.)! Hehehe… (Licik face mode: on!)

PS: -Author’s new program:- Oya! Buat yang mo promosi fanfic di sini gak papa.. mumpung Author lagi berbaik hati (Biasanya pelit kayak Kakuzu, maklum, satu turunan.). GJB

--

The Beginning of Nightmare!

Author: kagetsukiGo

SRASH!

Di sebuah lautan…

Tempat dimana sanbi tinggal…

“Wha!! Senpai! Guedhe buanget yah! Jadi ini yang namanya Sanbi?? Ekornya… tu-wa-ga… tiga!!” teriak Tobi heboh yang ngeliat Sanbi di depan matanya, SECARA LIVE!

“Dasar katro, un!!” gumam Deidara sendiri yang lagi naik burung-burungan di atas lautan itu…

“Deidara-senpai… sepertinya… kuat yach?? Yang beginian, kuserahkan kepada senpai saja, ah!” ujar Tobi seenak es krim.

“Tobi, kamu kan baru, un!! Kamu aja yang ngabisin, un!!”

“Ih! Kenapa!! Senpai takut yah?? Khakhakha…! Ih… senpai… aku bilangin ke anak-anak kalo senpai tuh sebenarnya penakut! Gossip baru! Gossip baru!” Tobi menari-nari.

“Tobi!! Awas ya, un!” Deidara sebel ngacungin jempolnya, eh, ngepalin tangannya! Diacungin ke Tobi!

BYURRR!

Gak hanya Deidara yang ngamuk sama Tobi, ternyata si Sanbi juga risih ngeliat jogetan Tobi yang narsis puol dan goyangannya yang maut bak Inul ngebor ituh…

“GYAAAAAAAAAAA!!” Tobi menjerit histeris. Dia langsung lari kayak cacing kena cuka (Lho?? Cacing kena cuka lari ya?)

“GYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!! LARRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!” treak Tobi sambil ngibrit menjauh.

“Tolol, un!” Deidara pun ngeluarin bom-nya yang bentuk ikan teri. Langsung dia jatohin ke dalam laut. Ikannya renang-renang.

Trus Deidara bilang, “Katsu!”

DUAAAAAARRR!!

--

“Whaaa!! Senpaiii!! Liat nih!! Kehebatan Tobi!! Lu tadi liat jurus maut gwa kan!! Senpai!!” ucap Tobi narsis, padahal dia ngga ngapa-ngapain.

“Tobi! Lu jangan kesenengan sendiri kayak gitu! Udah dibantu! Yang matiin dia (Sanbi) itu gueh tauk! Un!” Deidara jengkel.

“…” (Tobi)

“Tobi! Kalau lo benar-benar Akatsuki, lakukan semuanya dengan cool tanpa banyak bicara! Un? Kayak gw, un! Mengerti, un?” ceramah Deidara.

“…” (Tobi)

“Tobi, yang namanya seni adalah sesuatu yang sentimetal dan diciptakan dari emosi sesaat yang…”

“GWAHAHAHAA!! Ternyata senpai banyak bacoth juga, ya??” Tobi menyela sabda Deidara. Sabda Deidara disela ama Tobi!!

Kemudian terdengar, “Katsu!”

DUUUUUUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRR!!

--

SRASH!!

Lautan itu tenang sekali… (nggak sih!)

Terdengar deburan ombak…

Deidara bercerita tentang kisah klasik pada Tobi yang sedang enak berbaring di atas Sanbi yang diseret pake burung-burungan Deidara…

“Tobi, dengarin yah… Sanbi tuh bukan Jinchuuriki! Jadi dia gak bisa kontrol diri! Dia itu lemah! Gak punya otak!!” ujar Deidara.

“Denger ya Tobi… bla bla bla bla bla bla blaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!!” (Sorry, capek bikin Deidara ngoceh terusss!) sabda Deidara.

“…” Tobi terdiem.

“Tobi, nanananananannananananananananannananaan……..bueh!” lanjut Deidara.

“…” Tobi diem.

“TOBI, lalalalallalalalallalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala………cuih!” tambah Deidara.

“…” Tobi tetep Diem.

“Tobi??”

“…” Masih diem..

Karena gak ada jawanan, tanggapan, dan opini Tobi, Deidara noleh. “Tobi! Jadi cool gak usah sediam itu!!”

“…” Tobi diem.

“??”

Lalu terdengarlah suara…

“Zzzzzz….groook…….zzzzzz….groookkk…..zzz…GRROOOKK!!” karena berhembus angin yang sepoi… bikin Tobi ngantuk dan ninggal Deidara tidur!!

“GGGGgggRRrrrHHhhhhh…..!!” Deidara jengkel ngeliat si Tobi dia langsung ngeluarin kibaku nendonya.

“Katsu!”

BBBUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUMMMMMMM!! GLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!

“GGGGGGGYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!” Tobi mental 1jt Tahun Cahaya!

“Emang cuma cara itu doang yang pantes buat ngeBANGUNin elo, UN!” treak Deidara kesel. Dia ngomong barusan sampe uratnya putus semua!!

“KYYAAAAAAAAA!!” jerit Tobi penuh hysterical mode! Kemudian dia ngeliat kakinya. Kaki… kaki… tidak menyentuh tanah!! “Tobi… YEIY!! Tobi terrrbang!” ucapnya gembira. Tobi pun mendarat di bulan dan memakan semua keju di sana!! (Emangnya di bulan ada keju?? Ada-adain aja!)

Deidara look through the sky… “Tobi mana tu anak?? Koq ga balik-balik, un??” gumamnya bertanya-tanya..

-THE END-

--

WAKAKAK!! Gimana?? Rasanya gak beda jauh dengan yang asli kan?? Yasud, Rev. plis..

--

PS –lagi-: Bagi yang mo promosi fanfic-nya di sini (through review) ayo, silahkan! Dozou, dozou… Author ijinin. Asalkan sopan (??), tulis sekalian SUMMARY ato SINOPSIS-nya, yang MENARIK! Biar orang-orang TERTARIK! (Bagi yang paling bagus mendapatkan lollipop-nya Tobi. Hehehe…) Cuma promosi juga ngga papa. Author-nya kan baik.. (Hehehe… -dasar narsis!-).

NB-nya PS: Mumpung cuma sekali ini doang ngasih kesempatan!!

--

Promosi: Bwt temen-temen yang baca, rev. fanfic Author yang ‘Ketika Akatsuki Udah Nggak Eksis Lagi’, ya!! Sama yang ‘Mistakes’ (Promosi… promosi…). Sama yang ‘EMERGENCY!!’ sekalian! Hehehe… Kenapa?? Kenapa? Kan udah dikasih kesempatan?? (Hehehe… yasud.)

Baby its cold outside!

Baby its cold outside!
Author: alliedoll

Disclaimer: Guess what guys? I still don’t own Naruto, and neither do you.

Author note: I know this has been done before, but I felt the need to exorcise this little demon because I have to listen to this song about six times a day at work.

It had been a perfect second date. Asuma and Kurenai sat in a café finishing coffee engaged in quiet conversation. Outside, it began to snow.

She looked out the window at the night sky. “Look,” she said. “It’s snowing. I haven’t seen snow here in Konoha since we were kids.”

“I remember. We were six. I threw a snowball at you, it hit you in the face, and you ran home crying.”

She mock glared at him at him and replied laughingly “Anko and I got you back the next day.”

“Yeah, you did.” He chuckled softly.

Kurenai looked across the room and noticed that the clock on the wall read 11:30.

“I have to go,” she said. “I’m supposed to meet my team at seven in the morning.”

“You’re still going to train in this weather?”

“Of course,” she replied. “Ninjas have to be adaptable and know how to work in all weather. What, are you saying that you’d give your team the day off because of the snow?”

“Probably. They’re just kids. They probably want to spend the day pelting everyone with snowballs, not doing boring training exercises.”

She just smiled at him. “Guys,” she thought. “They use any excuse to act like kids.”

“Well, it is getting late,” she said. “I’ll call you tomorrow, if that’s ok.” She put on her jacket and got up to leave.

“Wait!” He touched her on the arm lightly. “I’ll walk you home.”

They walked hand in hand three blocks to her apartment. The wind blew hard and he pulled her closer to him to shield her from the icy gusts. They stopped at her door.

“Well, goodnight.” She kissed him on the cheek.

“You’re not going to ask me in?” he grinned slyly.

“I told you, I have to work early.”

“My apartment is two blocks in the other direction from the coffeehouse, and it’s freezing out here.” The snow fell harder, and the wind cut through Kurenai’s jacket. She knew he must be cold too, but she felt she needed to be firm in this situation. Still, one cup of cocoa might not hurt anything.

“Ok, you can come in for a little while. But just for an hour or so.”

When she went inside, she lit the fireplace in her living room, and went into the kitchen. “I’ll make us some cocoa. I have regular and mint chocolate. Which would you prefer?”

“Mint chocolate, and marshmallows if you have them.”

She made two cups of the mint chocolate cocoa and walked into the living room. She noticed he was sprawled on the couch, looking as if he anticipated her return.

She sat down and he pulled her closer to him. “Here’s your cocoa.”

He placed it on the end table next to the couch and pulled her into a kiss, slow and sweet at first and then passionate and filled with desire.

“Asuma,” she pulled away. “This isn’t a good idea.”

“Why not? We’re both adults, and we’ve known each other forever.”

“Yes, as friends and colleagues. We’ve just started dating, and I think we should take it slow. I don’t want to rush into anything. I want it to be right when it happens. It might be good if you went home now. It’s late.”

The wind howled through the trees.

“Look out there. You would really send a guy home in this weather?”

She looked out and noticed that the snow was falling harder, and the wind had really picked up.

“I guess not, but there will be a lot of talk tomorrow.”

“There’s already talk, Kurenai.” He put his arms around her and kissed her. He ran his hands through her dark hair. They traveled down her back as his kisses moved to her neck.

“Not so fast. I said you could stay here tonight…” She broke away from his embrace and walked to the hall closet. She pulled out a pillow and two blankets, and threw them at him. “I didn’t say anything about spending it in my bed.”

She walked back over and kissed him goodnight, and then she went to her bedroom and shut her door. Asuma sighed as he laid out his blankets and pillow on the couch. “Goodnight,” he whispered softly.

The Notebook

I'm too lazy to be working on another full movie/Naruto story.

Disclaimer: I owneth not, the Notebook, Naruto, nor Shikatema.

So I'll be doing the first chapter where they meet. In the future I may update it, but that's like IFFY. Very iffy.
So be prepared for a oneshot. X

Btw, I changed a little bit of it, to fit their personalities. So get over it.

asdfghjkl;

The Notebook

Author: amanda devaine

"So...freaking...troublesome..." Shikamaru dragged his feet along in the dirt and rocks that they spread around the Carnival for some craptastic reason. Why I allowed Chouji to bring me to carnival in the first place is beyond me. I knew he'd be eating the whole time...

Munch munch. Shikamaru cringed. Chouji was eating his fourth cotton candy now.

"Hey Chouji, aren't you sick of the stuff by now?"

"Nah, it's good," Chouji ate the rest in a bite. "Oooh look kettel corn!" Chouji ran off to the kettle corn stand.

Shikamaru nearly gagged. So much sugar would have made him regurgitate hours ago. He wandered over to the bumper cars, the closest ride to where he was standing, and leaned on the edge, watching the miniature cars whizz by. Almost hypnotizing...almost like those clouds... Shikamaru thought as his eyelids started closing. Even the motors and the smell of gas could not thorougly keep him awake.

Suddenly, he felt a crash against his arms, stomach, and legs and he flew back. "What the...?" Shikamaru stood up and rubbed his head. He saw a car that hit the wall he was using as his leaning post. "Sorry," the blonde haired girl in the car winked at him and drove off, bumping into one of her friends.

Shikamaru's mouth was wide open as his eyes followed her driving around the track. "Hey Shikamaru!" Chouji yelled.

"Yeah?" Shikamaru asked as he waved his hand to him as if saying "Go away"

"Uh...what are you doing?"

"Huh?" Shikamaru, the boy with an amazing high IQ asked stupidly. "Oh right, uh...nothing..Just watching the bumper cars," Shikamaru put on his usual lazy face.

Chouji saw through his ruse. "You saw a girl didn't you?" Chouji asked between munches. "Who is she?" Chouji asked curiously looking from girl to girl.

"Is it her?" Chouji pointed to a brunette with two buns on either side of her head talking to her long, black-haired friend.

Shikamaru realized it would be pointless to argue, since Chouji was already on to him. He sighed, "No."

"What about the one talking to her?" Chouji inquired.

"That's a guy..." Shikamaru stated as though it were the most obvious thing in the world, although, it really wasn't.

"Really!?" he laughed.

"Yes, Chouji."

"Hmm.." Chouji finished his kettle corn and tossed it into the trash can conventiently placed right next to them. "Hmm..." he repeated and put a hand up to his chin. "Her?" He pointed to a girl with suspicious looking pink hair.

"Uhh...no...Her hair is pink..." Shikamaru stated bluntly, his eyes wide open in shock. "Unless you didn't notice..." Shikamaru teased.

"Oh, I noticed. It looks alot like cotton candy..." Chouji gazed lovingly.

"Ew, Chouji..." Shikamaru shook his head at him disapprovingly.

"Hm...well...is it her?" Chouji pointed to a blonde with a long pony-tail. Her back was turned to the both of them.

"That's Ino!" Shikamaru had a look of horror on his face. The most troublesome woman ever...Other than my mother...

"I give up! Who is it?!"

Shikamaru hesitated for a moment. "Her," he pointed toward the girl who was getting up from her bumper car. She walked over to her red haired...male...friend and laughed.

"She's got a boyfriend...figures..." Shikamaru sighed.

"You don't know that!" Chouji piped up enthusiastically.

"Uh, yeah Chouji, I'm pretty sure she d--" But he couldn't finish his sentence because Chouji grabbed him and pulled him over to the girl and her alleged boyfriend.

"Uhh...hello?" The girl asked confusedly. She was still latched onto her friend. He's really odd looking. Why would such a beautiful girl go out with someone like him? Is that eyeliner? And I don't see any eyebrows...What a freak...

Chouji elbowed Shikamaru in the stomach. "Uh.. hi, my name's Shikamaru, and I was just wondering..." he paused as if he had forgotten what he was going to say.

"Yes?" the blonde cocked an eyebrow.

"...if you would like to go out on a date with me...on Friday..." Shikamaru asked quickly, before he lost his confidence again.

"I'm sorry..." she tried letting him down easily, "I can't..."

"Is it that you're busy or you just don't want to go with me?" Shikamaru was getting annoyed. How could she turn him down so crudely?

"Do you really want me to answer that question?" she asked.

"Yes, or else I would never have asked it," Shikamaru persisted.

"I just don't want to," she started to walk away and tugged her bizarre friend along.

"Wait,"

"Yes?"

"What's your name?"

"Temari," and with that she walked away.

There was no way Shikamaru could be forgotten so easily. The usually lazy boy wracked his brains for a way to get her to notice him. Normally, he wouldn't ask for help but...

"Chouji?"

"Yes?" he was licking at some ice cream now.

"What do I do?"

"Just forget about her," he said as if he knew something about the matter, "It helps..."

"I can't, buddy...I just...can't..." He was sitting down on a bench when he noticed her getting on the ferris wheel, dragging along her boyfriend.

"She's dating someone, dude," Chouji said between licks, "I mean, why else would she reject you that way?"

"I don't care if she has a boyfriend..I'm going to win her heart..." Shikamaru put his hands into the shape of a circle and leaned over as if thinking hard. After several silent minutes...

"I got it. Chouji, stay here." He ran full speed toward the ferris wheel.

"What are you doing?!" Chouji asked worriedly.

"Trust me!" Shikamaru said as he was almost there. He ran straight up past the line. As her little gondola went by he grabbed the bar right in front of it hung there. The ferris wheel went almost to the top, then apparently the conductor realized what had happened and stopped it abruptly.

He heard the annoyed voice of someone below. "Hey, you can't do that!! Get down from there!"

"No!" Shikamaru shouted back.

"What do you want?" Temari asked with a worried look on her face.

"Go out with me," Shikamaru persisted.

"No!" Temari refused, "Now get down from there!"

Shikamaru carelessly let go with one hand. "Go out with me or I'm letting go with the other hand," Temari clutched the hand of her friend tightly.

"Are you crazy?!" she screamed at him.

"Probably..." Shikamaru swung back and forth slightly, "Go out with me?"

"Yes, yes fine I'll go out with you!" Temari shouted worriedly. "Now please, just get down!"

"Okay," he said as he shimmied over and sat right between her and her red haired friend.

"I hope your boyfriend doesn't mind," Shikamaru stated bluntly.

"My boyfriend?!" Temari laughed.

"What...?" Shikamaru asked confused.

"This is my BROTHER!" she continued laughing, yet her brother remained absolutely quiet.

Shikamaru sweatdropped.

asdfghjkl;

Well there ya go. Like I said it may remain a oneshot. Most likely

But yeahh. I hope you liked. If I get enough reviews I may just put their second date. I don't know. X

I've only seen the Notebook once so if it's way off I'm sorry. Don't shoot me.

Better

Better
Author: WhoNeedsSanity

Disclamer:I don't own Naruto.

I had this sudden urge to write a Shikatema fic, so don't blame me if it's bad.

Better

"Checkmate." said Shikamaru with a smirk. Pause.

"Aughhh!" yelled Temari clearly frustrated.

"You know what I haven't won a single game damnit!"

"Wha?" said Shikamaru slightly backing up.

"Oh I'm sorry genious, let-me-say-it-so-you'll-understand," she said putting emphasis on each word. Shikamaru twitched. "I've been coming to Konoha each week for 30 weeks." she started calmly, "out of those 30 weeks we have played shogi 25 of those weeks," voice slightly agitated, "out of those 25 times we've played strip shogi 10 times." voice louder, "out of those 10 times I've never won," now yelling, "in fact out of those 25 I've never won once!" she finished now screaming.

Shikamaru loved to see her this pissed off so he wanted more entertainment, especially since she was only in her bra and underwearand he was only in his pants. But he wasn't an idiot and backed up everytime she got louder. Genious or not the next thing he said would have had had anyone thinking he was an idiot,

"So I take it you don't want to play another round of shogi?"

"Forget you!" she yelled.

Next she grabbed her clothes put them on without trying to look presentable and made her way to the door.

"You do know you have to stay two more days because of Tsunade's meeting with Gaara." he said as she left. Slam

"...Troublesome."

'That little brat!' Temari thought to herself while making her way to Ino's house. After 30 weeks she new some Konoha gossip like Sasuke came back and loves Sakura but she doesn't know, Hinata loves Naruto and they're going out, Neji and Tenten are suspected to be secretly dating , and last Ino used to go out with Shikamaru, but it only lasted a week because he forgot something on their first date.

'I wonder what he forgot to do.'she thought as she finally reached Ino's house. She took a deep breath preparing herself for an overdramatic, girly-girl, drama queen.

"Why me?" she said quietly while knocking on the door.

"I'll get it dad!" Temari heard from the inside the house.

'I'd bet 10 bucks she's getting ready for something.' Temari thought with a chuckle. Sure enough there she was in a robe and towel wrapped around her blonde hair

"Oh Temari aren't you upposed to be at Shikamaru's playing shogi..." she trailed off after noticing Temari's glare.

"Oookay, why are you here?" she said motioning Temari in the door.

" 'Cause I want to know why you and Shikamaru and you broke up." she replied pretending to be sooo interested.

"Well," she started, leaning in while Temari leaned back lazily crossing her legs.

"Shika and I were talking about going out and..." Temari lost what she had said after that for awhile.

'I'm so sure I asked her how they broke up not how they started going out .' thought Temari listening to Ino droll on. Just when she thought she was about to die she the words first date and perked up her ears.

"Oh on our first date first he didn't even remember, then do you know what he did while we were watching the clouds? He fell asleep, Temari, asleep!" Ino waited for feedback, Temari fought back the urge to smile then replied,

"Oh my God really?!" giving her normal response.

"I know! So I woke him up and dumped his ass right there!" she finished gleaming with pride.

"Thanks for the story Ino!" she called to Ino while running down the street to Shikamaru's best friend's house, Chouji, and just in case she grabbed a whole sacks worth of chips, candy, and anything else she could find.

Temari would need a lot more ammo to catch Shika off guard on the shogi matches. After all he was way to lazy to care about falling asleep on a first date. Once she finally reached Chouji's house she knocked on the door rapidly. She didn't expect to find Chouji getting ready for something too.

"Oh hey Temari." said Chouji suprised,"Why aren't you at..." Another victim to Temari's glare.

"Want to come in, but you've got to hurry I've got somewhere to go." he said glancing at the clock. Temari could already guess with who so she didn't ask.

"So Chouji," she started mischiviously, "want some candy or maybe some chips?"

"Um, no thanks." he said hesitantly.

"Oh come on Chouji their a new flavor." she said as his eyes widened.

"And these are said to be the sweetest in town." she said while holding a bag of candy in front of him. Chouji gulped, and Temari knew just what to do. She opened up a bag and slowly grabbed a chip. Chouji watched it longingly. Then Temari bit it in two and Chouji lunged for the bag, but Temari was too quick.

"Uh-uh-uh," she said, "first tell me something embarrising about Shikamaru." He looked to his side obviously thinking.

"You won't tell him I told you right?"

"No, of course not." she replied.

"Ok, in the academy Shikamaru asked Ino everyday if they could go out." he started slowly feeling guilty, and Ino always replied-"

"Eww, don't get me wrong, you're cute,but you're no Sasuke." said a new voice from the door. It was Ino.

"Ready to go Chouji?" asked Ino impatiently.

"Y-yes, Ino." he replied stunned by how she looked. This was Temari's cue to leave. She left the bags of chips and candy andleft for Sakura's place.

Sakura was cool, but sometimes she was emotional. For example, when Sasuke didn't say hi to her one day she called Temari at 12 at night and she didn't let her go to sleep until 5 a.m. Temari took another deep breath, hopefully she wasn't in one of those moods.

"Hey Temari, what's up." came a voice from the top of the balcony. She looked up to see Sakura in her normal clothes.

"I'm wondering if you got any dirt on Shikamaru." she answered dryly.

"I'm insulted Temari," she said while putting her hand to her chest dramatically, "I have dirt on everybody." she finished with a grin. Not even a minute later she answered the door and Temari noticed Sasuke in her house. She entered the house and sat across Sasuke.

"So what you got?" she asked.

"Ok Sasuke told me this one, he sleeps with deer slippers." Sakura said laughing.

"Already know that." she said.

"Oh yeah you have to sleep there don't you, hmmm."

Then Sasuke walked over and whispered something in in Temari's ear. She gasped and ran out the door straight for Shika's house.

"What did you say to her?" said Sakura astonished. He whispered what he said in Temari's ear to Sakura's. She gaped at what he said.

"No." she said disbelievingly a smile creeping up.

'I can't believe Shikamaru..." she didn't finish as she reached the door.

She easily opened the door, they had a jounin, a chunin, and a anger-management needing mother in their house, there was no need to lock doors.

"I want a rematch!" she said as she entered Shika's room.

"You sure?" he answered witha smirk. Temari simply smirked back.

"Aughh." she almost yelled, but remembered her plan.

"You know you're doing worse than usual." he said with a yawn.

"Shut up, at least I don't fall asleep on first dates." she retorted back. Shikamaru looked caught off guard for a moment giving Temari enough time to look at the board properlywith satisfaction. His next move was a glance at the clouds to clear his mind. Tmari moved a spot even Shikamaru would notice especially since he was staring at the clouds.

"Go." she said impatiently as the game continued.

Temari saw the moment she was waiting for and Shikamarumade his next move confidently. She would crush that confidence.

"So Shika," he looked at her confused, but she ignored it,

"how was your 'game' in the academy?" he gawked at what she said then she moved closer to him seductively. Then close enough he could feel her warm breath on his lips. He couldn't move any more he was completely frozen.

"Do you know what Sasuke told me?" she moved forward more and now he was on the ground with her on top.

"Just to tell you, eww you're cute, but you're no Sasuke," he didn't move, "you're better." she said as she gently pushed her lips against his. He was shocked, but returned the kiss, then she broke apart and said,

"He told me you loved me," she paused for a second, "Ohand by the way," another pause, "Checkmate."

Good or bad please tell me...

Although this is something I thought of on the top of my head...

Oh well, REVIEW PLEASE!

Where's Shikamaru?

Where’s Shikamaru?
Author: Amnesty

It annoyed Nara Yoshino to no ends when her “occupation” was belittled by some ignorant villager whose views on success were based upon mission stats and income. She takes great pride in the decisions she made that took her to the place where she is today, and not many are able to humble themselves to such an extent that she had over the past twenty-three years. The loving wife of Shikaku and the doting mother of Konoha’s laziest ninja, Shikamaru, this is her life and the life she cherishes. Keeping those two in line and the house in order is more than a full time job but she does it day in and day out because of her unfailing love for the two most important men in her life.

She was currently standing in the living room separating the family of three’s laundry into their respected piles and folding them at an astonishing rate. She held up a pair of Shikamaru’s pants and looked at them quizzically. Her son had grown greatly in the past seventeen years and she was glad that his growth spurt was finally starting to level off. It was pain streaking to keep up with the growing teenager and it seemed that when she was finally able to replace all of his snug clothing with his current size he would just grow out of the new ones in only a few weeks. Even now she notices his pant legs not as seemingly long as they once were when he first wore them. She made a mental note to pick out a few new pair of pants for him next time she was out in the market. She quickly folded the pants and set them with the rest of her son’s clothes. Letting out a deep yawn she glanced up at the clock and noticed that it was getting pretty late.

“All most eleven,” she stated calmly. Shikamaru had already gone up to bed and left her alone to her work.

She normally did not stay up this late but her husband would be back from his mission tomorrow evening and she wanted him to come home to a clean house and a good meal. She put her and Shikaku’s laundry in one basket and Shikamaru’s in another. Lifting the basket in one arm she was just about to make her way to her room when she heard the knob to the front door twist. Setting the basket down she grabbed a kunai that was sitting on the coffee table. The likeliness of her being able to fight off the unknown intruder was most likely slim but if the late night visitor was of ill intent Shikamaru was only a shout away. Even though he was the laziest kid she had ever known she also knew he is a formable opponent who now even surpasses his own father when it comes down to strategy and skill. The door slowly opened and her heart skipped a beat when she caught sight of who just walked through the threshold. She let out the breath she was holding and allowed the arm that was clenching the kunai to fall to her side.

“Moron! I could have killed you!” She barked angrily- though her scowl quickly faded into an amused smile.

“Would you have now?” He replied, returning her smile with his equally amused side smirk. “Actually… I’m sure you could have. You can be quite fierce at times and it’s not like I would fight back.”

“Idiot…” Yoshino murmured as she slowly closed the distance between the two.

“Such sweet first words after a long miss-” Shikaku’s sarcastic remark was cut short by the soft lips of his wife planted firmly against his. A long smile stretched across his lips as he returned the kiss, wrapping his strong arms around the woman he loved so dearly. After a blissful moment Yoshino pulled away and rested her head on his chest, allowing him to hold her.

“Mmmm… I don’t know about you, but I’m exhausted.” Shikaku murmured quietly. “I’m ready to sleep for a few days.”

“Like hell you are!” She laughed, pocking her husband in his side. “I’ll give you a day of rest but I need you to fix the door where you keep the deer feed. Some gluttonous pig forced his way in a few nights ago and had a midnight snack. Now the door won’t stay shut.”

“Why don’t you just have Shikamaru do it? He’s here.”

Yoshino hummed in annoyance and waved her hand in the air flippantly. “That boy has been busy escorting that Suna liaison around for the past few weeks. I don’t know what that Temari has him do all day but when she’s here it’s as if Shikamaru doesn’t even live here anymore.”

“Sounds like someone’s jealous of another woman stealing away the attention of her baby boy.” He said teasingly.

“It’s not like that at all!” She replied defensively. “He even says that there is nothing going on between the two of them…” Ignoring the “yeah right” expression her husband gave her on the last comment she continued. “Don’t get me wrong though. I would love for Shikamaru to settle down with a nice young lady soon. It’s just him being with someone from a different village would be… troublesome.”

“They both have good head on their shoulders. I’m sure if they had any on going romantic feelings for each other they could work something out.”

“She’s too old.”

“That’s not nice. Only three years that’s not so bad.”

“It’s a little strange though. If it was vice versa it would be different.”

“Why’s that?”

“I don’t know it just would!”

“Whatever…” He said yawning.

“How’d we get on this topic anyway? Whatever the reason I blame you for making me upset…”

“Of course…”

“You look exhausted… All right I won’t keep you any longer… I suppose the rest of the laundry can wait until morning… You may want to drop in and let Shikamaru know you’re home. He was asking about you coming home yesterday.”

“Was he now?” He replied, not really seeming that interested. They both began to make their way up the stairway toward the upper bedrooms hand in hand.

“He seemed happy to know you would be back soon. I’m sure he would like to know that you arrived a day ahead of schedule.”

“I really think he would rather sleep. I think this could wait until morning.”

“Mmm, perhaps you’re right. Still, I want to check on him.” She replied, reaching for the handle to Shikamaru’s room.

“What is he? Five?”

“Shut it,” she hissed warningly. She peeked inside the dark room and scanned over to where the youngest Nara slept. Her eyes widened a moment and her hand instantly hit the switch to turn on the light.

“Woman what are you doing? You’re going to annoy him.”

Ignoring Shikaku completely Yoshino briskly walked into the room and looked around nervously. Shikaku followed in behind her and eyed the room and the unkempt and empty bed.

“Oi,” Shikaku muttered to his fidgeting wife. “Where’s Shikamaru?”

It was all most eight thirty in the morning when Temari’s daily routine was interrupted by someone knocking on her apartment door. She was here on official ambassador business since a few weeks ago to attend relation meetings with the hokage. All had gone well and the relation between Suna and Konoha were running as smoothly as they could possible go for now. It was now time for her to return to her home in the desert and give Gaara her report of the meetings. She let out an annoyed sigh from being interrupted, walked over to the door and opened it to find an awkward Ino and Choji standing before.

“Can I help you?” Temari asked, cocking an eyebrow at the pair.

“Sorry to disturb you so early in the morning Temari-san!” Ino exclaimed, waving her hands apologetically in front of her face. “It’s just Shikamaru didn’t come home last night and his mom asked us to help look for him.”

“Haven’t seen him.” Temari stated bluntly and was now beginning to close the door when Choji chose to continue.

“We checked all of his usual cloud gazing spots but we haven’t been able to find him anywhere. We were just wondering, since you were the last person to see him last night, if you might… know… where he might be?”

“… No clue.” She stated nonchalant, ending the short exchange with Ino and Choji by closing the door in their faces.

“Well… That was… a little awkward…” Ino stated as her and Choji casually walked back down the hall of the apartment complex. “She’s a little scary, don’t you think Choji?”

“Definitely… But I think Shikamaru kinda likes her.”

Ino shot Choji a suspicious look. “What do you mean by “like”?”

“You know,” he said, illustrating with his hands. “Like like like.”

“What!” Ino exclaimed, her eyes like saucers. She quickly regained composure and tilted her head smugly to the side. “Hah! No way. Shikamaru’s too lazy to like anybody that way. Besides, she’s not his type.”

“Oh? And what is his type Ino?”

“Uh… Well, let’s see…” She thought for a moment, placing her finger to her chin. “Well… I’m not sure. But it’s definitely not her.”

“What’s wrong with her?”

“Nothings wrong with her she’s just… a little manly.”

“Oo, I dare you to say that to her face!” He laughed.

“Are you crazy? She’d kill me!”

“Yeah, probably. But seriously Ino, manly? Sure she’s a little rough around the edges but manly Ino?”

“Yeah! Have you seen the way she eats? She’s not feminine at all.”

“You’re not exactly the prime example of table etiquette yourself.” Thought Choji silently, not daring to voice his inner thoughts. “Ummm, sure. Whatever you say Ino.”

The two exited the apartment complex and continued their search for their missing comrade.

After closing the door on Ino and Choji Temari rubbed her fingers against the temples of her forehead and walked further into the living room. Her gaze quickly focused on the dark headed young man who poked his head around the corner, once he realized they were once again alone. He brought his hand over his mouth as he let out a loud yawn and ran his fingers through his dark tresses he looked at Temari lazily as she glared at him. “What?”

“You’re friends were just here. They’re looking for you.”

“So I heard, how troublesome.”

She gave him one of her evil smiles and slowly approached him. “Troublesome indeed. What are you planning to do about this?”

“Eh, I’ll just find some arbitrary place and claim to have slept there over night.”

“Oh? And what if they’ve already looked there?” Temari asked as she slowly wrapped her arm around the young Jounin’s neck. “Plus your mother saw you go to bed last night. You’re supposed to be home.”

He shrugged and replied in a bored tone, “I’ll just find a place they’re least likely to check first and tell them I took a walk and fell asleep while star gazing or… something.”

“What a brilliant plan. Now I know why you’re known as a genius.” She said, sarcasm dripping from her voice.

“Quite you troublesome woman.” He leaned in and gave her a brief kiss across the lips.

Temari let out a content sigh and leaned against his bare shoulder, allowing him to wrap his arms around her. Closing her eyes she breathed in his sweet scent and smiled softly as she felt him beginning to fiddle with one of her ponytails.

“What a drag. And here I was hoping to lie around your apartment until you had to leave. I’m surprised my hag of a mom didn’t send the ANBU after me.”

She let out a quick laugh and pulled away enough to look at him in the face. “And what makes you think I’d let you lie around all day, stupid. And besides… you should stop complaining about your mother… You’re lucky to have one that cares about you the way she does.” She rested her head back on his shoulder, feeling foolish for saying something she felt was too sappy. She felt his chest rise and fall and his head rest on hers.

“I know…” He whispered. They both stayed like that in an awkward silence until Temari pulled away and walked to where a black shirt was thrown carelessly on the floor. She scooped up the shirt and tossed at her lover who easily caught it.

“You better start getting dressed. As much as I like looking at you in your boxers it would probably be best if you leave soon.” She stated mater of factly with a small smile gracing her lips which soon broadened. “Besides, your troublesome mother might really send out the ANBU if Ino and Choji don’t “find” you soon.” Shikamaru sighed in compliance as he began to gather his clothing which trail suspiciously lead to the sand kunoichi’s current bedroom. As for her she sat herself on the couch and waited for him to finish. “Hurry your lazy ass up!” She yelled after only a few minutes of waiting. “You take longer than me to get dressed!”

“Shut up!” He snapped back. “Why do you have to be such a… You’re so impatient.” He exited the bedroom, finishing wrapping his hair into his high ponytail.

“Happy?” He asked annoyed.

“Stop being such a crybaby, crybaby.”

“Stop calling me a crybaby.”

“Just stop whining and say goodbye to me. I won’t be back for a while.”

“Goodbye.” He said unenthusiastically.

Temari let out a growl of anger, rose, and grabbed her fan that was leaning against her couch. She took a threatening step toward Shikamaru who in turn took a step back fearfully. He raised his arms in front of him defensively.

“Sorry, sorry!” He sputtered out nervously and sighed in relief as she set her weapon down with a loud “clank.” She still looked extremely angry and he thought it would be best to be as nice as possible at the moment. He gave her one of his smirks as he quickly, yet cautiously, approached her. He cupped her face and locked his lips with hers. “Goodbye, I’ll miss you.” He said, much more sincerely than the last time.

“Better.” She replied. She pushed her weapon back so that it would rest back against the couch only for it to slide and fall on the floor. She currently ignored it as she wrapped her arms around him and kissed him furiously. She hesitantly parted and stepped back. “You better go.”

“I know. I’ll see you in a few hours to see you off.”

“You better or I’ll beat you into a bloody pulp.”

“What a violent woman.” He said nervously.

Temari watched as Shikamaru walked towards the door and peeked out to see if anyone was around. There wasn’t so he silently left giving her only a quick glance at her as he left. She knew what he would do. He would do what he always did. Make his way up to the roof and travel the rooftops until he was far enough away to travel on ground where no one could connect him to her apartment. Normally he would just head home and sneak into his room the same way he snuck out. But it looks like he’s going to have to try something a little different today.

She went to the kitchen and began to brew herself some tea as she let her mind wonder. Like always she began to fantasize about more ideal situations. Like wishing that she was from Konoha or that he was from Suna so that they didn’t have to sneak around and could see each other openly. Not that she liked open displays of affection or anything; she would probably treat him the same in public as she does now, even if their relationship was common knowledge. In the current circumstances if anyone found out about their secret “meetings” and the word got around it could damage not only Suna’s but Gaara’s reputation. Even though they are in the most fruitful alliance they and Konoha have ever been in Suna’s council would twist the idea of someone with such a high position and closeness with Gaara as she did that there would be threat of classified information being leaked during “pillow talk”. Even here many shinobi and civilians are suspicious of Suna since the last attack so many years ago. Openly or not, she couldn’t help but notice all the suspicious glances of many of the town’s folk especially when she was not being accompanied with Shikamaru or another shinobi.

“Feh, troublesome.” She muttered as she hit her head against one of the kitchen’s cabinets.

“Found him!” Ino yelled loudly gaining the attention of two other members of the search party. She looked angrily at the young shinobi who was snoozing blissfully high up in the braches of a tall tree.

“It’s about time! I’m so hungry!” Choji sighed in relief as he approached his blonde teammate followed closely by Shikaku.

“Shikamaru WAKE UP!” Ino screamed as she threw a rather large stone against the shadow nin’s left side. It jolted him awake as he rolled over the side of the branch and landed on another a few feet down. As if nothing happened he gazed lazily down at his female friend in annoyance.

“Woman, what did you do that for I was,” he took a moment to yawn, “in the middle of a nice nap.”

“A nap? A NAP!?” Ino yelled back furiously. “We’ve been looking for you all morning and you were taking a nap!?”

“All morning?” He asked, looking truly confused. “What time is it?”

“10! And we’ve been looking for you since 8!”

“Wow, I must have fallen asleep here last night during my walk…” Shikamaru said nonchalantly as he jumped down to the rest of him. Once he landed he was quickly met with the fist of Yamanaka Ino.

“Yoshino’s been worried sick about you and you don’t even care!”

“Ino, calm down. You’re over reacting”

“Yeah Ino.” Choji piped in. “We found him and he’s okay like I said he would be. Can we just get over with it and get something to eat? I’m starving here.” Ino visibly calmed down a bit but let out a “humph” as she crossed her arms and turned away. Shikamaru gave his best friend a smirk as if to say thank you and Choji returned the same friendly smile. “Come on Ino, barbeque, my treat.” Choji said as he ushered Ino to the food district.

“What if I don’t want barbeque? What if I want Kino’s Soup?” Ino pouted.

“Seriously?” Choji asked, sweat dropping.

“Seriously,” replied Ino gravely.

“Fine, soup it is. Coming Shikamaru?” He called over his shoulder.

“Yeah, I’ll catch up in a second.” Shikamaru replied standing next to his father who was eyeing him suspiciously. Shikamaru cocked an eyebrow at his father’s expression and began to stretch out the kinks out of his back and neck. While stretching to the side some of the fabric of his turtle neck pulled away, revealing a stretch of normally concealed skin. Shikaku crossed his arms and let out an amused chuckle still watching his son.

“What’s so funny Old man?

“Nothing.”

“I thought you weren’t supposed to be back until later today.”

“We arrived ahead of schedule. I actually got home late last night. That’s when your mother noticed you missing.”

“Feh, she worries too much.” Shikamaru replied as he finished the last of his stretching. “Well, I’m going to eat with Choji and Ino. We’ll hang out later today and play shogi or something okay?”

“That sounds fine to me.” Shikaku said to the retreating Shikamaru but before he got too far he called after his son. “Oh and son.”

“Yeah?”

“Next time you spend the night at a girl’s house tell her not to bite so hard.” He again chuckled as he saw his son freeze for a moment and kept on walking.

“I- I don’t know what you’re talking about. I think you’ve gone senile.”

Temari and Shikmaru stopped in front of the exit of the Konoha exit just as they had every other time. She took a few steps forward of him and turned to face the young shadow nin.

“There will be a meeting between our kages in four months. I’ll arrive with Gaara at that time. Will you be the one accompanying us?” Silly question yes, but she wanted to hold out some amount of conversation before she left again.

“Yes, Tsunada-sama assigned me to be the Suna representative’s guide after all. Che, though it’s troublesome.”

“Heh, try not to be too lazy while I’m gone.”

“Whatever.” He replied lazily. She gave him a cheeky grin.

“Later.” She then turned and left down the path away from Konoha and Shikamaru who was watching her retreating figure. He exhaled and blushing, he reached up to a tender spot that was left on his neck.

“Four months.”

Fin

((Author’s note: “Woot! First Oneshot finished! I hope you all enjoyed it as much I did writing it! I hope that I didn’t make any of the characters too out of character… But it’s kind of funny… I’ve never wrote a kissing scene before so It took me like three days to right the moment between Yoshino and Shikaku! I also don’t curse but I see these characters cursing a bit… Mostly Temari… I did manage to type the alternative word for butt but I feel kind of bad about doing it… Well enough rambling about my personal convictions! Won’t tell anyone that I curse like a sailor in my head… Um right… Well please review and tell me what you think! Advice is welcomed whole heartedly!))

Nothing

Talhofan: I would just like to point out that this is a collaboration (that's how you spell it right?) Between me and my friend - Sweeterthanhunny.

Sweeterthanhunny: (Yeah that's how you spell it...congrats on spelling something right!) Yeah, hi.

Talhofan: ... nothing much to say, we are all spent after that last conversation down there '

Sweeterthanhunny: More like argument...

Talhofan: ...yeah, don't start with me...

Both: Just read the story! We could go on forever!


...Nothing

Author Talhofan


Once upon a time… ah, screw that – back to the real world.

A number of Konoha ninjas were in Sunagakure for the appointment of the new Kazekage: in other words, Sabaku no Gaara.

This group was composed of Naruto, Sakura, Kiba, Hinata, Neji, Ino, Anko, Kakashi (Hey there should be some civilised adults there… well… adults.) Lee, Shino… and of course the lazy-ass pineapple head, Shikamaru Nara.

After the ceremony they were granted some free time. Most of the guys (Excluding Kakashi - he and Anko were off somewhere doing…God knows what. I think it might be safer for our minds, not to try imagine what.) Were at a loss for what to do and so they had congregated on the dust path by the bath houses.

Shino was observing the local Suna insect wildlife in the nearby bushes. The others didn’t find this pastime particularly appealing, so Naruto had abducted Hinata and ran off to the nearest ramen shop.

Kankuro and Gaara had decided to join the Konoha ninjas, although they weren’t much help in deciding on what the hell to do.

“Dude, where the hell are the girls?” Kiba asked, looking around. There was no sign of any of the female species, let alone any they knew.

Shikamaru shrugged. “It’s too troublesome to keep tabs on them. Or anyone, for that matter.”

“Hinata is off somewhere with Naruto,” Neji supplied.

“As long as they don’t destroy my village, I don’t care,” Gaara declared.

“Ino’s shopping, and I think my dear sweet flower blossom Sakura is getting a massage in the spa by the bath house!” Cue good guy pose from Lee.

“Dude, you DO know that Sakura and Sasuke are in a very serious romantic relationship, right?” Kiba pointed out.

“Temari’s in the bath house,” Kankuro said.

Shikamaru looked up, suddenly interested. “Temari’s in the bath house?”

“Uh…yeah…” Kankuro confirmed. Gaara looked at Shikamaru suspiciously.

“…Alone?”

“Yeah…so?”

Shikamaru avoided his gaze. “…Nothing.”

About a minute of silence passed.

“Uh… I’ll just um… uh… I’m kinda… hungry, so um… I’ll just…yeah, bye.” Shikamaru whizzed out of sight.

“Well… that was…” Neji started.

“…weird…” Kiba finished.

“Yeah…” Kankuro agreed.

“Since when is Shikamaru hungry?” Lee queried.

“Suspicious…” Gaara muttered to himself.

Silence fell over the group again.

Approximately 20 minutes later, a loud yell was heard from the bath house.

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!”

“OH MY GOD!!”

Next thing, Shikamaru came flying through the bath house wall, coming to halt on his back in the middle of the group of guys.

“Troublesome…” he muttered, looking fed up.

The group stared at him, dumbfounded, all equipped with ‘what the hell’ expressions.

“Temari threw you out didn’t she?” Kankuro asked, grinning.

“No… Sakura walked in on us.” Shikamaru said climbing up off the ground.

“…walked in on what?” Gaara asked suspiciously, glaring at him.

Shikamaru – now up - froze and glanced at Gaara with frightened eyes.

“… Nothing.” He said quickly.

“Shikamaru, let’s have a chat, shall we?” Kankuro grinned and followed Shikamaru as he retreated - he figured Kankuro was safer than Gaara, and besides, he didn’t seem mad – or sadistic, for that matter.

“Troublesome woman,” he muttered.

As soon as Kankuro and Shikamaru were out of sight, Temari came out, re-tying her black kimono.

“Temari, what were you and Nara doing in there?” Gaara demanded.

Temari smirked. “…Nothing.”

Gaara narrowed his eyes accusingly. Temari didn’t flinch.

Sakura then came charging out through the hole in the wall and skidded to a halt in front of Temari.

“OHMYGOD YOU WILL NOT BELIEVE WHAT I JUST SAW SHI-“ she began excitedly. Temari clamped her hand over the other girl’s mouth, effectively cutting her off mid-sentence.

“May I have a word with you, Sakura-chan,” Temari asked, a slightly evil looking fake smile plastered on her face as she dragged Sakura out of earshot.

The guys watched as Temari pinned Sakura to the wall by her throat. Temari was talking and looking quite threatening while gesticulating wildly in what seemed to be the direction of her fan. Sakura was nodding furiously. Temari let her go, and they walked back to rejoin the guys.

“Sakura, what were you saying?” Gaara asked.

Sakura looked back at Temari, who was leaning against her fan and tapping it menacingly.

“…Nothing,” she said, unconvincingly.

“Then why did you scream in the bath house?”

“Um...I…saw…a…spider…” she said.

“Then why was Nara thrown out the bath house?”

“…The spider was… on… his head?” she tried.

“You screamed ‘what are you doing’ because Nara had a spider on his head?” said Gaara sceptically.

“Yeah…because he…was putting the spider on his head…” Sakura really was a dreadful liar.

“Riiiiiiiiiight……” Gaara wasn’t entirely sure whether he believed this or not.

“Sakura, shall we be going now?” Temari ‘suggested’ (it’s not like Sakura really had much of a choice in the matter…).

“Sure…” Sakura gave a shaky smile. “I want my Sasuke-kun...” she whimpered under her breath.

Sakura ran off quickly, and Temari went off in search of a certain lazy Leaf nin to finish what they had started.

Ten minutes later, Gaara had an epiphany.

“Wait…” he said slowly, “…why was Nara in the bath house in the first place?”

Silence.

“NARA!! I AM GOING TO KILL YOU!!”

Kiba and Neji watched the Kazekage race off into the village.

Lee was still thinking. “I still don’t get- OH!! SHIKAMARU AND TEMARI WERE SO-“

Kiba and Neji clamped their hands over their ears.

“LEE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, DON’T SAY IT!!” Kiba yelled.

Neji was just screaming like a little girl.

Shino was… still looking at bugs, completely oblivious to the drama that was occurring around him… Yeah… he really liked bugs… really really liked them…

And on the topic of bugs, there were no spiders in the bath house, but you knew that already, didn’t you.

Right?


The End


Talhofan: Uh, yeah... can you please review... took us... how long?!

Sweeterthanhunny: Um...two hours...dude, did it seriously take us that long?? Holy cow!! 0.o

Talhofan: Well it didnt help that you kept hogging my damn keyboard!

Sweeterthanhunny: Well you can't spell for toffee and it was starting to piss me off!!

Talhofan: Well you cant type to save your grandma's life!!

Sweeterthanhunny: Geez, I'm not that bad!!

Talhofan: Coming from the person who just took 5 damn minutes to write that freaking sentance...

Sweeterthanhunny: LIAR!!... and by the way, sentence doesn't have an 'a'... and 'didn't' and 'can't' have apostrophes, dumbass.

Talhofan: ...arent you a smart ass... - NOTE THE APOSTROPHE AINT THERE!! - ... Thats it... I'm getting Temari to come whoop your ass...

Sweeterthanhunny: O.O...shit... HA!!I'll get Shikamaru to distract her...shouldn't be hard... -NOTE THE APOSTROPHE IS THERE!!-

Talhofan: Fine... we are evenly matched, let's just publish this thing!! And... I'm just gonna use Temari's fan...

Sweeterthanhunny: 0.o...crap...didn't think of that... yeah, let's jsut publish it already so I can run away...(and you only resort to violence cos you can't think of any comebacks!!)

Talhofan: sigh is there any other way to make a better comback ... oh and, HA! You spelt 'just' funny!! ('jsut') I WILL NEVER LET THIS DOWN!

Sweeterthanhunny: Dude, that was a freaking typo, gosh!! (And you once spelt 'vulnerable' 'vanruble'.)

Talhofan: I cannot believe you just brought that up... GAH! CAN WE JUST PUBLISH THIS!!

Sweeterthanhunny: Agreed. It's getting to be longer than the story. (One last thing: you left out the 'e' in comeback)

Talhofan: TYPO! Bah... We are publishing this now... let's go get some ice cream.

Sweeterthanhunny: ...reveiw?

Talhofan: They better... or else... I'll use Temari's fan!!

Sweeterthanhunny: YOSH!! I'm off the hook!

Breaking and Entering

Breaking and Entering

Author: Snitwick

Disclaimer: Naruto is not mine.


Having worked with Kakashi for a number of years, Asuma thought he could safely say that he knew the man as well as anyone did. He knew that, although some might consider a few of Kakashi's methods unorthodox, Kakashi was not cracking. He was simply different.

That was why when he heard rumor that Kakashi and Ibiki were engaged in some type of fucked up relationship, he wasn't shocked. After all, he knew Kakashi well enough to recognize that he was an adult and more than capable of taking care of himself. If he had something going on with Ibiki, Asuma wasn't about to disrupt it.

Not being shocked about Kakashi and Ibiki's relationship was not the same thing as not being curious about what exactly it entailed, however. Which was why Asuma found himself sitting in a dim bar next to Kurenai after their shift ending, drinking too weak of a drink for his taste, and being able to think of nothing else.

"What do you wonder that they get up to?" he asked Kurenai suddenly.

"What do who get up to?" asked Kurenai, looking thoroughly confused as to the source of her companion's outburst.

"Kakashi and Ibiki," he said, inhaling on the cigarette he was smoking.

Kurenai shrugged. "Who knows."

A few minutes passed in silence.

"I bet it's fucked up."

A slight smile tugged at Kurenai's lips. "Why do you care so much?"

"I don't know," said Asuma. "I guess I care 'cause it's Ibiki."

"So?" asked Kurenai.

"So, have you ever met the man?"

"Briefly in passing," said Kurenai. "He didn't seem all that odd to me."

"He's sadistic," explained Asuma. "Completely wacko. He's pretty quiet about his past, but I heard from one of the Chuunin that his brother was captured and torture by a Rain nin. Apparently Ibiki managed to rescue him, but he hasn't seen him since. Popular belief is that the event set him off up here." Asuma tapped his temple.

Kurenai rolled her eyes. "Right. I'm sure he's a perfectly decent man. He wouldn't be in a position of authority and responsibility if he was unstable. The Hokage isn't that insane."

Asuma raised his eyebrows and gave Kurenai a doubtful look. "You want to bet on that?"

"Bet? On what?" asked Kurenai perplexed. "Whether or not the Hokage is crazy, or whether or not Ibiki is?"

"Ibiki."

"But what would we judge?"

Asuma's teeth glinted in the dim light of the bar as he smiled. "We could always spy on him and Kakashi."

"No!" protested Kurenai. "That would be going too far."

"Then I guess we'll never know whether or not Ibiki is one kunai short of a full pouch."

Kurenai frowned. "Well, I guess if it was in the name of research..."

"That's the spirit," said Asuma, grinning wider.

They made plans to meet outside of Ibiki's apartment later than night. If he was there, they would spy on him. If he wasn't, they would break in and search for anything that might establish a winner of their bet.

Asuma stopped by his apartment. He changed out of his Jounin outfit into off-duty wear and grabbed a new pack of cigarettes. Then he left for Ibiki's apartment.

Kurenai was already there when he arrived. After they had assessed that Ibiki wasn't home, they picked the lock and slipped inside the darkened apartment. Unwilling to turn the light on in case a neighbor or someone passing by on the street outside saw and their suspicion was aroused, Kurenai and Asuma began searching for something--anything--that might determine a winner of their bet.

Kurenai searched the bookcase near Ibiki's desk, only to turn away disappointed when all she found were a bunch of dull books on the art of interrogation and torture.

"Do you have a bookcase devoted to books on interrogation and torture in your apartment?" Asuma asked Kurenai.

"No," she conceded. "I don't."

He looked smug. "That's proof that he's deranged."

"Sorry. It doesn't count," said Kurenai. "He's the head of the interrogation unit of ANBU. Of course he would own books about torture and interrogation."

The two Jounin went back to searching. A few moments later, Asuma held up an envelope. "I wonder what's in here," he said with a smirk.

Kurenai moved closer as he shook the contents of the envelope out onto the desk. A stack of photos fell out of the envelope and into a scattered mess on the desk.

"They're... pictures of corpses," said Kurenai, her nose wrinkling in disgust.

Asuma was about to put them back in the envelope when a particular photo caught his eye. He picked it out of the stack and held it up, smiling. He handed it to Kurenai, without a word. It was a picture of Kakashi naked, his arms tied above his head.

"Kinky does not equal deranged," said Kurenai simply.

"Come on," cried Asuma. "If that isn't deranged, what is?"

Kurenai fixed him with a look. "Deranged is murdering someone for no better reason than watching them die. Deranged is torturing a cat to death simply because it didn't get out of your way quick enough. Deranged is sneaking into a colleague's apartment because of a bet. Being adventurous in bed is not deranged."

"Fine," said Asuma.

He went back to searching through Ibiki's property in an attempt to prove to Kurenai that he was right. Having finished looking through the desk drawers, Asuma turned his attention to the only other piece of furniture in the room that neither of them had searched yet: Ibiki's bed. As he neared it, Kurenai frowned.

"This was a really stupid idea," she said. "We should leave before he comes home."

"You just don't want to pay up if I'm right," said Asuma.

"I forfeit then," said Kurenai. "I just... have a bad feeling. I don't think we should stick around any longer."

"Just give me a few more minutes," Asuma told her. He pulled up the edge of the mattress and felt around beneath it. When his hand felt something small and stiff, he smiled.

He pulled the folded piece of paper out from beneath the mattress and held it up close to his face. His eyes had adjusted to the darkness shortly after they had first entered Ibiki's apartment, but the writing on the note was small and hard to read.

"What is it?" asked Kurenai, her curiosity getting the better of her conscious.

"It's a note," said Asuma. "From Kakashi."

He unfolded it and began to read it out loud, "'Do you remember when you tested the group of Genin that included Uzumaki Naruto and he passed your test without answering a single question? Well, sometimes I feel that that's how he approaches everything in life, hoping luck will be on his side. Unfortunately, it seems that not even luck can help him when it comes to love. Iruka was just telling me about how he saw Naruto strike out again in an attempt to get Sakura to go out with him. It made me think about how lucky we are. We've found something that works for us, and I have a feeling that's a lot more than most people can say.'" Another piece of paper was tucked behind the first. "This one's from Ibiki. It goes, 'As the summer gives away to autumn, the leaves are beginning to change from green to red and orange. It reminds me of how much I've changed since I first met you. Are you free for dinner?"

Asuma glanced up at Kurenai, with an eyebrow raised. "It's so..."

"Romantic?"

Asuma shook his head. "It's so normal."

Even in the darkness, he could make out her smile from across the room. "Does this mean I won the bet?" she asked.

"No way," said Asuma. "You already forfeited."

"My forfeit was under the condition that we left before you checked beneath the bed," protested Kurenai.

"Too late," said Asuma, jamming the note back beneath the mattress. He was at the door in a matter of moments.

"Where are we going?" asked Kurenai.

"My place," said Asuma. "I plan to make full use of your forfeit."

"But I won!" protested Kurenai.

"Fine," said Asuma. "New bet, same consequences. I bet I can get to my apartment before you."

He waited a fraction of a second for the words to sink in before taking off down one of the alleys next to Ibiki's apartment. He was out of sight before Kurenai could open her mouth to protest.

Kurenai sighed. She locked the door to Asuma's apartment from the inside and shut it behind her.

She knew that by the time she would arrive at Asuma's apartment, he would already be inside and have had time to catch his breath. But Kurenai didn't mind too much. She had been dating Asuma long enough to know that he wasn't adverse to cheating.

Instead of getting mad, Kurenai comforted herself with the knowledge that the next time she won one of their bets, Asuma would be finding himself tied up and naked. Getting Asuma to agree to trying something new in bed was the easy part.

The hard part would be thinking of a way to ask Kakashi where Ibiki had purchased his bondage gear without letting him know that they had broken into Ibiki's apartment on a bet. Breaking and entering was still frowned upon in polite society and somehow Kurenai doubted that 'Asuma and I had a bet about whether or not Ibiki was deranged' wasn't an appropriate explanation for their behavior regardless of their conclusion about his sanity.

Fin.

Suprise

A/N: Well, I'm busy today! This is a birthday gift to my sister, Nataya(she's on look her up!) for her birthday on August 3rd, everyone wish her a happy b-day! This pairing was her request, and I'm sorry if you find the characters OOC(I know I do!), but I was trying to make this as fluffy as possible.

Disclaimer:I don't own Naruto!

Suprise

Author: Aly the Trickster

“You should stop smoking…you never know, maybe a shinobi we’ll be facing has an amazing sense of smell.” Kurenai dangled Asuma’s precious cigarette from her hand, eying it with such distaste that Asuma hurriedly tried to grab it back.

“When I have nothing to do, I smoke. So?” He said in defense at Kurenai’s look of disbelief, “What do you do?”

Kurenai handed him back his cigarette, and looked at him with a small twitch in her lips. “I annoy you, of course.”

Asuma gritted his teeth, and started diligently grinding his cigarette into the ground with his foot. He knew Kurenai was right, but Asuma was sure the whole seniority pride thing between ninjas dictates that admitting that is a serious sin. Maybe if he demolished the cigarette enough it could become a fertilizer. He doubted it.

Kurenai looked at her senior ninja with amusement. Though he was the Third Hokage’s son, and hyperactive Konohamaru’s uncle, he acted as if he was just a regular ninja, although she knew he had some impressive battles behind him.

“Hey, Asuma, how much money would I get for turning you in?”

Asuma turned to glare at Kurenai suspiciously. “Why do you want to know?”

“Well, you see, I am trying to pay back a few of the villages debts.”

Asuma snorted, “And I would never believe that in a million years.”

“I was willing to try. I was next going to say that my team had been suffering and I needed extra funds, but I wanted to try the ‘for the village’ one first.”

Asuma sighed, and wondered how she could act so differently around him but not around others. Why did she only act business-like when she wasn’t torturing him! It wasn’t fair! “Kurenai, you don’t surprise me much anymore.”

Kurenai looked at him with a tiny bit of sympathy. He had no idea what Kurenai could do when inspired. She bent forward, and gently placed her lips upon his.

“Surprise.”

She then left a stunned Asuma sitting there and walked back to the village from the training grounds, where she had been torturing a certain someone.

Asuma sat there, shocked silent. Then his eye started to twitch, again and again.

‘I am going to murder her.”

The next time Asuma saw Kurenai his murder schemes were shot, and he left those plots to start a newer, more evil, one.

Meanwhile, Kurenai was shifting from foot to foot, and trying to figure out ways to strangle Kakashi without being expelled from Konoha. How hard is it for him to realize that she didn’t need the Icha Icha series to be a part of her life.

“But they’re so interesting!” Kakashi pleaded hopelessly.

“No matter how interesting they could be to you, I am not the kind of person who reads romantic porn, which, however you disguise it, is still porn.”

“But that is exactly the point! You don’t have enough romance in your life, and you need these books to fill the gap!”

Kurenai was about to say what she felt about him saying that, when she felt a tight hug around her waist, and warm lips nuzzle her ear.

“I don’t think she needs a silly book to give her romance, she has me, after all.”

Kurenai turned to glare at her capturer, and her eyes widened with shock at whom this mysterious person turned out to be.

The mentioned person leaned down and nestled his nose in Kurenai’s jet-black hair, and because he knew what Kurenai would do to him once she freed herself, he tightened his grip on her.

“Surprise.” Asuma whispered teasingly.

Kakashi watched the exchange with a mix of laughter and regret. Laughter because they were a perfect couple and the only people who couldn’t see that is themselves. Regret because he had spent months trying to push them together with no avail, and suddenly one day they’re acting like two lovebirds from Kakashi’s favorite books...with a few graphics excluded.

A few hours later, after Kurenai had untangled herself from Kakashi’s numerous questions, which Asuma had been mysteriously absent from, Kurenai walked towards the training grounds, where she was expecting Asuma to frequent, smoking, as he usually did.

So she was surprised when she found him throwing a few Kunai at the tree stumps, and, not surprisingly, hitting the very middle every time.

“What did you do that for!” Kurenai seethed at the scraggy ninja’s back.

He turned to her, and gave her an innocent smile. It was funny how he never showed this side to anyone else, just to her. And those smiles made her stomach do back flips. ‘No,’ Kurenai mentally smacked herself in the head. ‘I am not some teenage girl with a bad case of hormones!’

“What did I do?” Asuma said innocently.

Kurenai gave him the glare of death. “You know damn well what I mean. You can’t do that to a person!”

And suddenly Asuma was much closer than she thought he had been. She was sure her heart was either beating so loudly they could here it back in the village, or it had stilled so much that the silence was deafening.

“So you’re saying,” Asuma wrapped his arms around her, one arm folding around her waist, and the other pulling her close by binding around her shoulder, “That you don’t like this.” He nuzzled her ear.

Kurenai was about to reply with her ‘witty’ retort, when she felt a breath of hot air on her neck. She shivered, and enveloped her arms around the closest thing possible, in this case, Asuma’s chest.

Asuma laughed, a gently placed his lips against hers. It was a slow kiss, full of promise of the future, and Kurenai couldn’t find any objections about it.

After they were done with the silent promise that would keep them together for quite some time, Kurenai remembered something very pressing that she had to tell Asuma. She smirked.

“Oh, Asuma.”

“Yes, love?” He looked at her with such tenderness that she almost didn't want to tell him the news. Almost. Not quite.

“The reason I got away from Kakashi was I told him the only reason you did that to me was because you didn't want me to tell him you got the Icha Icha series.”

A/N: I'm sorry, I had to write that ending. I know the characters are really OOC, bear with me. This is a birthday gift, damn it:D, have a nice summer, everyone!

August Serenade

August Serenade

By Hatake Megumi

Disclaimer: I don’t own Naruto. If I did, there would be more scenes with these two. I also don’t own the Michael Finnigan song…

AN: I am so obsessed with this couple, I think they are so cute together. I wrote this story a long time ago but didn’t finish it and it’s ironic that I publish it in September instead of August. The title is inspired by one of my favourite songs by Suga Shikao by the same name. It was originally called “Asking Someone Out”.

AN: Happens before Asuma’s death.


“Hmm… what should I say? Do you want to go out for dinner? You look pretty tonight: let’s go out for dinner. No, I sound like some pervert trying to pick up girls,” said Asuma, out loud. He was trying to come up with a brilliant thing to say to a special someone but there were no brilliant words coming into head.

“Who’s sounds like a pervert and is trying to pick up girls?” asked a teasing female voice behind him. Kurenai was in the doorway with a bemused smile on her face. The August sunlight from the window shone on Kurenai’s features, revealing her soft complexion and accentuating her crimson eyes. Asuma was supposed to be doing paperwork, but unfortunately, there were other things on his mind…

“Eh… I was um… talking about Jiraiya of course…” he replied, without the sheepish tone in his voice that most men usually had. Asuma was no womanizer but he was a ninja and he knew how to keep it cool, even in situations like these.

“Sheesh. When will that man get the idea? Really… what do perverted old men think they can get away with with young girls? I hope that you’ll never be like that Asuma.”

“What? Why?” he asked.

“Why? We can’t have a half-decent man like you turning into one of those pedophile/perverts can we?”

“We? Who’s we?” asked Asuma with a smirk.

“Well… you get the idea…” Kurenai’s cheeks were tinged with the slightest bit of crimson.

“No… anyways, that’s not the point.”

“Exactly, the point is, what’s on your mind Asuma-kun?” Kurenai’s crimson eyes were shining with mischief, as if she wanted to pry his secret out and tease him with it.

“Well… I want to ask this person… out for dinner,” he replied. He had nothing to fear or lose.

“Oh…” her face fell slightly. “Well… I’m a woman so shouldn’t I know better?”

“You’re right. So what should I say?” he asked almost eagerly.

“Umm… tell her she looks nice and bring her flowers… or maybe serenade her at her balcony…” she said dreamily. She blushed at her strange comments. Since her teenage years, she had noticed that all of the romance in those old movies she used to watch never seemed to happen. But still, it gave her no excuse to look vulnerable in front of Asuma. “Girls would probably fall for things like that,” she said with an air of certainty.

“Thanks for advice,” he said with a grin. “I should go and hand in this paperwork in now. It’s finally done.” And with a wave, he left.


Kurenai walked up the stairs to her flat on the second floor. She sighed. Nothing was going right today. Akamaru and Kiba got into a fight and nearly mauled each other to death; needless to say, Kurenai was the one who had to break up the fight. And if you thought that nothing could be worse, they were on a D-class mission to weed the Yamanaka flowerbed but instead the whole brawl caused the total destruction of the gardens. They obviously weren’t rewarded. And then… then there was Asuma.

“Just forget about what he said today,” she muttered as she lay on her sofa and closed her eyes.

Just as she was falling asleep, she heard a little sound by her balcony door. Her ninja instincts alert, she got up immediately. Cautiously, she looked out the window seeing the sun starting to set. She crept up to balcony doors and look out of the clear panes of glass that made them. It seemed that Asuma was below. She stepped on to the balcony, suspicious but curious at what Asuma was doing.

“There was an old man called Michael Finnigan, he grew whiskers on his chin-igan…” With a goofy smile on his face and a ukulele in his arms, he was singing this random camp song. His ukulele playing skills were less than perfect with many awkward pauses in between to find the right chords and his singing was quite out of tune but it was all very funny to Kurenai.

“What are you doing?” she yelled off her balcony.

“Serenading you!” he declared, while still playing the ukulele randomly. Kurenai was now laughing uncontrollably.

“Is it normal to serenade people with the ‘Michael Finnigan’ song?” she teased.

“Of course,” he replied, whispering into her ear. In the few seconds that took her laughing fit to end, Asuma hopped behind her on her balcony. “As usual, you look beautiful tonight my lady,” he said. Kurenai blushed and turned around to face Asuma who had a bunch of… paper in his hands.

“What are those?” she asked.

“Well, it seemed that the Yamanaka flower shop seemed to be closed today and then I met up with Hinata – who’s not gossipy thank goodness – and asked for her advice and so she gave me this origami book, so I tried folding these origami flowers… I don’t think they turned out quite right…” he said sheepishly as he offered them to her. With another bout of laughter, she accepted them.

“So… what is this all about?” she questioned.

“Well, will you have dinner with me… tomorrow evening?”

‘So that’s what that whole conversation this afternoon was about…’ she thought.

“I look forward to it,” she said and kissed him on the cheek. “Now, I need to get some rest. Good night.” Both shinobi left the balcony very happy. Kurenai had a happy ending to her day and a happy ending for tomorrow night.

THE END

The author apologizes if this has filled your head with fluff.

Merry Christmas?

A/N: Yo all!! Merry Christmas, Happy Kwanzaa, Happy belated Hanukkah, etc, etc. Well, This is my short oneshot about Christmas, and yes, I know that this theme is a little overused. Minor KakashixAnko and AsumaxKurenai. R&R!!

Disclaimer: I don’t own, plain and simple.

Merry Christmas?

Author: flutist-for-life

High-pitched giggles filled the frozen air as two small bodies came hurdling across a smooth, glassy floor of an abandoned hallway at a mall. Both children were about 5 years old, a tanned firl with messy black hair and bright red eyes and a pale boy with one black eye and one red eye, a amask covering his lower face and wild silver hair with purple tips. The boy careened into the wall seconds before the girl crashed into him.

“I win. Again,” smirked the boy.

“Shut up Keito.”

“That wasn’t very nice Amaya.” The girl, Amaya, stuck her tongue out, as the boy shook his head.

“Come on, our parents are waiting. Besides, tomorrow is Christmas.” Before Keito could take a breath, Amaya had already grabbed his arm and was dragging him towards the end of the corridor. Throwing open the door, Amaya let out a gasp as Keito peered over her shoulder. Both sets of eyes widened as they saw a tall, pale black-haired and a shorter, spiky, purple-haired women intently kissing two men in red suits. Closing the door, Amaya and Keito sat down by the door, gasping.

“Was that..?”

“Yup.”

“Where there two..?”

“Yeah.”

“Were they..?”

“Uh-huh.”

Turning to her companion, Amaya asked, “What do we do now?”

“Kunai Santa into oblivion.”

“I dunno, I think we should set a trap for him.”

“Yeah. Do our dads know?”

“I don’t think so.” Bending their heads together, they quietly plotted the downfall of Santa.

Later That Night

Opening one eye just a crack, Amaya quickly sat up in her bed.

“Hey, watch it!” someone hissed.

“Keito, what were you doing so late? The plan is just starting.”

“Rolling his eyes, Keito sighed, “I got lost on the road to my bed, now lets go.”

Tip-toeing out of the room, Amaya and Keito walked into the hall and hid at the tip of the stairs. For once, they were grateful for the tradition that Amaya and her parents slept over at Keito’s house on Christmas Eve. Waiting quietly, the two young shinobi-in-training stared hard at the fireplace, kunai in hand. After a while, both children felt their grip loosen and eyes start to close when banging from the chimney woke them up. Excitedly, Amaya squeezed Keito’s free hand as Keito tossed his kunai a few times with a mad glint in his eyes. A sooty black and red man stumbled out the chimney, grumbling about small, dirty chimneys only to be greeted by two kunais courtesy of Amaya and Keito. Stumbling backwards, “Santa” only got cut on his arm, looked around suspiciously, and hurriedly climbed back up the chimney. Successful, Amay and Keito gave each other congratulatory high-fives, and soon fell asleep curled up at the top of the stairs where their parents found them the next morning.

Later That Day

“Ow, watch it!”

Asuma chuckled, “Rough time?” as Kakashi angrily rubbed his bandaged arm.

“Those kids have good aim.”

Anko smirked while giving her husband a peck, “They were taught by the best.” Kurenai could only laugh at her friends as her husband tigtened his grip around her waist.

“Well next time,” Kakashi growled as he plopped the Santa hat onto Anko’s head, “You can be Santa.”

One Little Word

One Little Word
Author: animeluverqueen


Disclaimers- I still don’t own Naruto.

My version on how Kurenai told Asuma and the others that she was pregnant.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Kurenai Yuhi was a dignified kunoichi of Konoha. She was a jounin, she was an advanced genjutsu user, and she had her Asuma. Oh and did I mention that she just found out that she was pregnant. Yes, the sexy big sister type was pregnant. She was terrified to reveal it to anyone because 1) She’s as stubborn as a mule to reveal it and 2) She’s just down right embarrassed of how people like Kakashi will handle it. Even though she is friends with Kakashi, she knows he’ll make perverted remarks like:

“Hey Asuma, you finally hit the nail in the hole this time.” or

“You finally banged her up! Good going old chum!”

Her face was a deeper shade of crimson then her eyes, if possible, as she thought about it.

She thought about her team and their reactions. Hinata would probably faint from Kiba making a Naruto suggestion. Kiba would probably start a group hug, which excluded Shino because he was very huggy. Shino, good old sensible Shino, would most likely stay calm about it and just plainly say, “Congratulations Kurenai-sensei, now can we get back to training on our own, since you can no longer help us for a while with our training sensei.”

She thought about Asuma’s team’s reactions. Ino would probably ball her eyes out when Kurenai told her. Choji would congratulate her and then probably, as usual, offer her a potato chip. Shikamaru would probably smirk and say congrats and then simply stare at the clouds.

Then suddenly she remembered that she had forgotten about her long time friend, Anko. Even though Anko was a natural born sadist, she did a caring side to her, that only Kurenai saw. Anko would probably insist on killing Asuma for this but she knew Anko would be only kidding around. Kurenai knew she would have to tell them and it was now or nine months from now and that would be a lot of explaining on her part.

The first ones she would inform was her team.

“Kurenai-sensei can we start already?” Kiba asked impatiently, while Akamaru barked.

“Calm down Kiba. We aren’t going to be doing any training because I have something that I have to tell you three.” She said.

“Y-yes what is it-t K-Kurenai-s-sensei?” Hinata stammered.

“You know that through the past few years that I gotten married to Asuma and all. I just wanted to say that I’m preg-”

“Haha you owe me thirty dollars Shino and Hinata you owe me twenty.” Kiba exclaimed. "Now Choji owes for eighty and Naruto owes me seventy."

“Wait! What’s going on?” Kurenai asked.

“Well you see I made a bet that you and Asuma-sensei would have a kid but they didn’t believe me.” Kiba said.

“Oh boy I’m not letting my kid hang out with you guys.” Kurenai joked. “I am surprised though that even Hinata and Shino bet on me.”

“Eh I persuaded them into doing it.” Kiba said as he had a huge grin on his face. “I guess next up is Hinata and Naruto.” Hinata’s face went pale to red in a millisecond as she almost collapsed but Akamaru supported her.

“Kiba why did you mention the “N” word?” Shino asked.

“Oh who cares about the “N” word? Kurenai-sensei’s havin a kid!” Kiba exclaimed as he swung his arm around Kurenai’s neck and shoulder. Hinata, who had fully recovered, walked over and gave her sensei a full-hearted hug.

“Congratulations Kurenai-sensei, now can we get back to training on our own, since you can no longer help us for a while with our training sensei.” Shino plainly said. Kurenai knew just how her students would act.

Next up was Kakashi. ‘Oh good god.’ She thought in her mind, as she wasn’t sure on what to except from him. After looking around for a bit she finally found him reading his perverted book but to make matters worse Anko and Team Seven were there with him.

“Oh hey Kurenai. What no Asuma today?” Kakashi teased a bit.

“Be nice Hatake.” Anko slapped him over the head. Causing Naruto and Sakura to laugh.

“Well I talked to Tsunade earlier today, so I guess I should be saying congratulations Kurenai-sensei.” Sakura said as she grabbed Naruto’s arm to drag him out of there because she knew Kurenai needed privacy with the two.

“Wait talked with Tsunade? Congratulations? Kurenai Yuhi you aren’t pregnant are you?” Anko asked. Kakashi took an instant liking to this conversation.

“I guess the cat’s out of the bag.”

“I guess Asuma finally knocked you up.” Kakashi said.

Anko punched him over the head. “How about I knock you down? Oh and you better extremely nice to her for now on or else Hatake you’re dead.” Anko threatened. She then turned to Kurenai and smiled, which was actually quite frightening to see her smile so full-heartedly like that.

“Well um do you know where Team Ten or Asuma are?” Kurenai asked them.

“Team Ten are near the Academy.” Kakashi said. “Asuma, I don’t know where he’s at so good luck finding him in nine months.” This earned him another crack on the head from Anko.

“Are you sure that you don’t want me to kill Asuma for this or Hatake for being an idiot?” Anko asked.

“You don’t have to, there’s no need for that Anko.” Kurenai said as she walked off to find Team Ten. She did eventually found them at the Academy but only Ino and Choji were there.

“Kurenai-sensei we heard from Sakura that you’re pregnant!” Ino said balling her eyes out.

“Yeah congrats Kurenai-sensei. You want a potato chip?” Choji asked.

“No thanks Choji. Do you know where Asuma and Shikamaru are?” She asked them. The two gave each other grim glances which worried her.

“Well Asuma-sensei and Lady Tsunade probably didn’t want to bring it up but Asuma-sensei and Shikamaru are going on an S-ranked to capture two Akatsuki members.” Ino said.

“What! Where are they? Did they leave yet?”

“No they should be at the hokage’s office right now.” Choji said as Kurenai bolted off. Choji and Ino followed her closely.

As she made her way there she saw Shikamaru who was informed on what was going on by Sakura from a run in with her he had earlier that day. As she turned the corner she knocked into someone. She was knocked back but the three caught her before she landed on the ground.

“Are you ok Kurenai-sensei?” Ino asked. She nodded as she got up.

“How about you help out your own sensei.” As Asuma said getting off the ground. This signaled for the three to leave the two in private.

“Hey you ok Kurenai?” Asuma asked. “You’re acting a little strange.”

“Oh-uh it’s nothing.” She choked up. ‘Good going Kurenai you could have told him right now.’ She mentally slapped herself.

“It can’t be from what Sakura told me earlier.” Kurenai’s head shot straight up as she looked into Asuma’s eyes. “Why do you think I was at the hokage’s office with Shikamaru? We both declined on the mission. Word does spread pretty fast in this village though.” He said as Kurenai flung herself in his arms crying into his chest for a while.

As they walked home Asuma gently swung his arm around her shoulder as she lightly leaned into his chest. Kurenai didn’t even notice that she, as if already by habit, had her left arm placed around her stomach.