Heart Sick

Heart Sick (M)

Author: Hana-noAkutai

NaruSaku Oneshot. ...Sometimes to love isn't cure enough... Beta'd by Taila (StrangeLikeness) Sections in italics are flashbacks

Contains: Lemon, some themes and language (not recommended for younger audiences)

One a.m…

Blink.

One fifteen a.m…

Blink.

Naruto tried not to open his eyes, trying to sleep. He knew that he should be asleep; he knew that every night he was awake and unable to sleep. But she was keeping him awake. His anticipation to see her was keeping him awake. The real her was better than his dreams of her.

There was a soft knock followed by her gentle, almost timorous voice. “Naruto, it’s me. I don’t know if you’re awake. You usually are…please, could you open up?”

Yes, Naruto was awake. He lay awake every night waiting for her to come round. Stretching his arms above his head, he lazily opened the door to see his cherry blossom looking at him through jaded, yet thankful eyes.

“Sakura-chan…”

The real her was better yes…

Her eyes were red and swollen from crying, still full of unshed tears. Her breathing was heavy. She probably ran all the way there. Every few breaths, she would quiver, as if stopping herself from breaking down. Sakura always came to his door like this, and it never ceased to surprise him; Naruto always saw the rosette kunoichi as strong and seemingly carefree.

…But at least in his dreams, she never cried, she was never afraid.

“Come in.”

He watched her sadly as she made her way to his bathroom and locked herself in. She knew his place well. That he didn’t mind, but he wished she knew it on different terms. He wished she knew it as a sanctuary of love, and not a sanctuary away from him. His hands caught his head as he sat down on the edge of his bed.

The rain poured down in masses of icy needles. “Look Sasuke, there’s the gate. We’re home.” Naruto said to the unconscious Uchiha in his arms. Tears of frustration, happiness and pain fell from his cerulean eyes. Frustrated because he failed his mission. Happy because he found Sasuke, he saved Sasuke. Pained because he didn’t know what Sasuke would do once he came to; Naruto was expecting the worst. But Tsunade-sama would keep him in the village this time, wouldn’t she? Naruto thought, looking at Sasuke’s almost completely peaceful face.

But the future at that point didn’t matter, he was just happy for that exact moment. His best friend, his brother, was home. He gave Sasuke’s body a gentle squeeze.

“Naruto!” The blonde looked up to see a drenched Sakura running to him. He could see her expression change immediately when she realised exactly who he was carrying in his arms. He guessed it would be almost the same as his own.

“Sasuke-kun! Naruto, quick, we have to take him to the hospital immediately!”

“Right, let’s do it!”

“Oh Naruto…how did you find him? Weren’t you supposed to be on another mission?”

Naruto smiled slightly, “I failed the mission. I found Sasuke like this. He was alone. I thought it might have been a trap, but when my shadow clones went out to scan the area, there wasn’t anybody around. Those teammates of his abandoned him. Sakura-chan, I finally fulfilled my promise to you, I bought him back. Just like I said I would.”

Sakura smiled at him warmly. “Arigatou, Naruto.”
-

Sakura slowly opened the door, trying not to make a sound. She didn’t know how long she was in there for, she guessed probably half an hour, maybe more. She had washed her face, trying to get rid of the vicious red circling her eyes. But no matter how hard she tried, seeing herself in the mirror, seeing those pitiful eyes staring straight back at her, just made her cry again. All she could think about washim.

She saw Naruto with his head in his hands. She felt her heart sink; was she a burden to him? Should she just leave? Sakura swallowed. No, leaving wasn’t an option. Not right now.

“Naruto?” The blonde before her barely looked up. “I…” She looked away momentarily, looking for something to say. A distraction. “I borrowed one of your t-shirts, it was just hanging up on the floor, like usual.” She tried to laugh, hoping Naruto would look up and smile at least, but how could she expect him to when her own laughter was hollow and emotionless? “I hope you don’t mind.”

“You know I’ve worn that three days in a row without washing it?” Sakura smiled at that, but just like her laugh, it was just there without meaning. He looked up and smiled, but Sakura could tell it wasn’t much more than her own. “And you know I don’t mind.”

Sakura loved how he tried. Times like these when she needed him the most, everything he said, every look he gave, was a comfort to her. Sakura knew that it probably took everything he had to put on that façade for her. She cleared her throat, hugging the t-shirt closer to her body.

“I didn’t ask before…how are you? Are you okay?” Naruto nodded, lowering his head again.

“Yeah, I’m okay. I’m not going to ask you, I already know the answer.” Sakura felt the pieces of her already broken heart shudder inside of her. She made her way around the side of Naruto’s bed, hardly breathing, hardly making a sound.

“Why do you put up with me, Naruto? Why?” Sakura said in a broken voice as she knelt behind him, placing her hands on his shoulders, pulling him back into her gently. “I always expect you to be here for me. And all I do is cry; you must see me as extremely weak. I wish it was all different.” Maybe deep down it was true, but on the very surface where she could see it best, it wasn’t true at all. If things were different, she wouldn’t be coming to Naruto every night. But on the other hand, if things were different, she would still be the strong and reputable kunoichi everybody used to see.
-

“Naruto…?” Sasuke opened his eyes, his voice was gravelly.

“Yeah, Sasuke, it’s me.” Naruto couldn’t bring himself to look at the Uchiha. If Sasuke had a disdainful look on his face, he didn’t want to see it. He could already feel those dark eyes on him; he didn’t want to see them. “What were you doing out there anyway? I thought you were dead.”

“I might as well be dead; I’m of no use to anyone or myself anymore.”

“…Shut up, Sasuke.”

“…What?”

“I said, shut up.” Naruto repeated, stressing every word. “I don’t want to hear it. You’re home where you belong. You’re of use to me, and to Sakura-chan and to everybody else in Konoha. Kakashi-sensei will be around later, so will Sakura-chan, so you’d better at least act like you’re happy.”

“I am happy, Naruto. I just don’t have anything to live for anymore. Itachi’s dead. I didn’t get to hurt him; I didn’t get to kill him. I didn’t even get to see him one last time.”

Naruto looked to see Sasuke’s eyes closed, head back on his pillow. “Don’t lie to me.”

Sasuke opened his eyes. Naruto turned away again. “Sasuke…I know you wanted to avenge your clan, I know how much it meant to you. But you’re home now; that’s all that really matters right now, don’t you think?”
-

Naruto felt Sakura lace her arms around him; one hand resting over his bare chest, right over his heart and the other on his stomach, right over his seal. He felt her lips on his back; he felt her body tremble with tears. “Don’t cry, Sakura-chan.” He wanted to say a lot more, but couldn’t bring himself to say what was really on his mind.

“I can’t help it, Naruto! You don’t know what it’s like at all.” Sakura whimpered, and Naruto expected her to pull away, but she just held onto him tighter. He did know what it was like, though. He knew exactly what it was like.

They didn’t speak; the only noise from either of them was Sakura’s sobs; the last thing in the world he wanted to hear. She usually kept it locked away as best she could, he could see it, and he could hear it. And it hurt; he wanted to take away every last drop of her sadness.

“You should get some sleep, Sakura-chan.”

“Maybe I should.” She ran her hands gently along both of his arms, tracing tiny circles over and over.

“I’ll take the couch.” Naruto said, getting to his feet.

“No, please.” Naruto turned to see Sakura still kneeling, her emerald eyes as pleading and as wanting as her voice. She reached out and took his hand, holding on to him tightly. “Please Naruto, stay.”
-

“Naruto! You won’t believe it.” The look on the pink haired kunoichi’s face was a mixture of pure delight and confusion. She took Naruto’s hands into hers; she was quivering.

“What is it, Sakura-chan?”

“S-Sasuke-kun – he – he – he asked me to…we’re getting married!”

As those words escaped her lips, Naruto felt his heart and spirit die, not stop from shock. His entire world fell into absolute despair and darkness. “Married…gees…congratulations.”

“I hate to sound so cliché, but it’s like a dream come true. I’m so happy.”

Naruto forced a smile; it was the most painful thing he had to do. Now, there was no way in hell Haruno Sakura would be his. Ever.

“What’s wrong?” The blonde looked up to see her green eyes shining quizzically.

“Nothing. Uh, I’m gonna go and say congratulations to Sasuke.”

“I’ll come with you.”

“No!” Naruto said abruptly. He softened his tone when Sakura let go of his hands and stepped away. “No, it’s a guy thing, you know. A…personal guy thing.”

“Oh,” Sakura smiled again. “Well in that case…I’ll go and tell Ino. You know, a…personal girl thing.” She said, mocking her blonde friend, followed by a wink. “Then I’ll come straight back, okay?”

Naruto watched sadly as she walked away down the hospital corridor, her body swaying slightly.

“Marriage, huh?” The door shut behind him with a bang, his tone was cold. An angry sphere circled and pulsed inside of him.

The side of Sasuke’s mouth twitched a little, he stayed silent for a moment before speaking. “Naruto-kun…it’s none of your concern.” God, what was that in his voice? Naruto didn’t want to know.

“Teme!” Naruto leaned over Sasuke’s bed, his grip firm around the railings. His cobalt eyes burned into Sasuke’s onyx glare. “Why? You care about her, you don’t love her.”

“Again,” Sasuke said sitting up so their noses were almost touching. “It’s none of your concern.”

“It is! It is my concern! Marriage can’t work if one person doesn’t even love the other! You’ll end up hurting her in the end, Sasuke.”

“Spare me. Itachi is dead, Naruto, incase you didn’t hear me the first time. He’s gone. I am the only Uchiha left. I want to revive my clan and I cannot see anybody else in this village worthy of baring my child.”

“And then what? After you’ve had kids with her what else? Are you just going to continue playing your “happy family” game? Huh? Tell me Sasuke!”

“…I don’t know.”

Naruto snorted indignantly, moving away from the dark Uchiha. “You don’t know? Sasuke, I’ve always thought Sakura-chan could do better than you. I’ve always asked myself why she fusses over you, why she tries so hard to prove herself to you. This is what she’s been dreaming of, and it’s not even real. You’re unbelievable. Has Orochimaru really made you as cold and uncaring as he was?”

Sasuke didn’t say anything for what seemed like forever, he only looked at Naruto with reproachful eyes. “By “better”, do you mean yourself? Do you think that you deserve her?”

Naruto turned away to look out of the window. ‘Yes…’ “I didn’t say that, Sasuke.”

“I don’t want to be having this with you, Naruto. But if you really love her,” he held up his hand when Naruto whirled around to look at him as an indication that he didn’t want to be interrupted “if you really love her, you will want to see her happy. And if that means losing her to me, then so be it. You do love her don’t you?”

“…Yes.”

“You know I still want to be friends with you, don’t you dobe?”

“Yes, teme.”
-

Sakura watched as Naruto slipped in underneath the sheets beside her. It had been some time, but she knew she wanted this. No regrets, not here, not at this moment. She looked at his profile, the moon light showing his soft features. Sakura lifted herself up and supported herself on her elbow. She brushed her fingers through his blonde hair, smiling at his peaceful, resting face. He opened his eyes slowly, his blue gaze so soft and caring it made her want to cry again. Naruto took her hand and brought it to his lips.

“Please hold me, Naruto.” Sakura said barely above a whisper. Naruto opened his arms, and she was drawn in. She lowered her head onto his chest, hearing his heartbeat. Her hand traced down from his neck, down his arm, and then onto his stomach. Sakura opened her mouth slightly, letting her tongue trace over her dry lips.

“I am sorry, Naruto, believe me. You were the first person I thought to turn to, and I was selfish.”

“You needed me Sakura-chan. Do you know that I need you, too?”

Sakura swallowed, tracing her fingers over his toned stomach muscles. She smiled then, remembering how hard he worked to become stronger. Stronger and better than Sasuke. She stopped smiling.

“I know. And right now we both need something…” Sakura let her fingers slip underneath the top of his pants, lifting and pulling little by little, playfully. She felt weak; she felt like she was floating, her heart was the only thing she could really feel. It was heavy with so many things, guilt, regret, wanting.

“Sakura-chan…” Naruto breathed out. Sakura heard his heart beat faster and relentlessly, just like her own.

“Naruto, just forget everything else, I’m right here.” Her voice trembled as she slid her hand underneath his boxers and took hold of him. His breath hitched as he hardened in her hand, his soft skin was burning. She sighed, kissing his shoulder. “Please, I want to thank you, I want to give this to you. Please let me.”

“I don’t know…”

“Shhh, it’s okay.”

“Do you really want to do this, Sakura-chan?”

“I really do.” She let go of him and rolled over onto her back, her shaking hands gripping the sheets. She closed her eyes, listening to the sounds of the sheets rustling; to the sounds of her own heart beat in her head. When she opened her eyes again, Naruto was kneeling over her, the same compassionate look in his eyes. Sakura lifted herself up to him and kissed his whisker-marked cheek softly. She tenderly dragged her lips down to his jaw then down his neck, darting her tongue out to taste his skin. She felt his hands begin to wander down both her arms, and then pulling gently on the bottom of the t-shirt.

“This will have to come off.”

Sakura fell back into the pillow, lifting her arms above her head. “I’m not stopping you.” She said softly, and shivered as the t-shirt came off, her bare body now exposed. She watched his cerulean orbs wandered over her body. His hands soon followed, touching her thighs, her stomach and then her breasts. She let out a shuddering sigh as he cupped her breasts and massaged them. Flattening out his palms, he rubbed her nipples in circles. He brought his head down, lips tracing over her throat, planting small kisses on her collarbones, and soon his lips reached her breast. He put her nipple in his mouth and sucked it gently, while rubbing the other nipple with his fingers.

“Please,” Sakura moaned, feeling herself incinerating from within, a relentless ache pulsing between her legs. “Please, Naruto, now…”

Naruto lifted himself up, supporting himself on his arms. Sakura could feel his erection prodding at her entrance slightly with every small movement he made. She looked up into his face, thinking of how cute she always thought he was, and how different it was now. It added a whole new element, him having had touched her in that way. Now he was above her, looking at her with such passion and such need. She closed her eyes momentarily, only to see a dark image. That blood red angry glare.

Sakura sighed, blocking out that image as best she could. “Please, just do it.” All that guilt and regret swirled in with her desire. It was unbearable.

The opaque white veil fell so delicately over her face, making her look just like an angel. Naruto couldn’t bring himself to tear his eyes away. He didn’t care who might have been watching him at that point; so what if they saw?

As Sasuke and Sakura stood together, Naruto could see as if they had auras glowing like halos around their figures. Sakura’s soft and pink threads, full of love and happiness, reaching out to Sasuke’s. His own threads dull and grey, recoiling from Sakura’s. Even as he pulled her veil back, standing closer now, the threads were still trying to escape. Naruto felt his heart tug with that image in mind, seeing that smile of hers. Her teeth so perfect and white framed by soft pink lips.

The ceremony seemed to drag on and on, as though it was never going to end. Naruto fiddled with his neck tie, all the while still watching Sakura. He didn’t hear the words she was saying; he didn’t want to hear.

At that moment, he felt a gentle hand on his knee. He looked down to see delicate milky skin, small oval nails painted a subtle lilac. Hinata.

Naruto had asked her as a date, but as friends. She understood. Well, she seemed to. He looked up and turned his attention to her. His eyes met with her sympathetic, sad expression. Somewhere inside his mind, he could see himself being happy with the midnight haired girl, and he truly wished he could be happy with her. But he loved Sakura much too much, and in the end, Hinata would just get hurt.

“Be strong, Naruto-kun.”

“If there are any objections as to why Uchiha Sasuke and Haruno Sakura should not be married, please speak now.”

Naruto gritted his teeth, trying to be strong. He could think of one thousand objections. A million objections. But one lonely yet significant objection floated to the surface; one that stood out the most, and the one that he thought to be truest.

Uchiha Sasuke did not love her.

It was all over. All playing in slow, torturous motion, Sasuke and Sakura leaned in, their lips meeting. Their mouths moving together, each new second passing by, more painful than the last.

Naruto couldn’t watch anymore. He couldn’t applaud with the others. He could barely stand when all were told to rise. He didn’t even look as they walked down the isle, so damn close together.

Naruto was the last to leave and the last one to arrive at the reception.

He hated himself. Since when did he sulk and ruin things for other people just because things weren’t going his way? Since he was only a child.

Well, he wasn’t a child anymore. He had to accept that he had lost.

When you fail a mission, you try your hardest to change and improve so that you will do better next time. So you will succeed.

Naruto failed in pursuing somebody he had loved for ever since the day they met. There was no next time, though. But he would still have to make a difference. He would have to change and improve that part of himself. He would have to forget that part of himself.

Easier said than done.
-

Naruto made his movements slow and deliberate to begin with, feeling every inch of himself inside Sakura. He knew it was magic, too good to be true. The way her body eased to him, how she countered his movements with her own, how she sighed and moaned. He wanted her to feel his aching and sympathy for her, just wanting to be gentle, just wanting to heal her. Naruto wanted Sakura to understand everything.

“Please…harder…” She moaned, gripping onto his shoulders. The burning tension was becoming unbearable as he thrust in harder just like she wanted him to, still pulling out slowly. “Mmm, just like that…”
-

“Sasuke, I’m home!” Sakura felt so whole and so complete saying she was home. She was home, and so was Sasuke. “Where are you?”

“In here.” His dark, low voice said from their bedroom at the end of the hallway. Sakura smiled as she waltzed down the foyer and opened the door. Sasuke was sitting on the edge of their bed (!) his chin resting on his closed hands, a stoic look on his face. “You’re late.”

“Oh, I just had to fill in some paper work for Tsunade-sama and–” She was silenced as he stood, his expression changing slightly into one with hinted malice. “Sasuke? What’s wrong?”

He said nothing and stared at her.

“Sasuke…?” She looked at her feet, fearing she had done something wrong.

Sakura was sure she heard him growl. She dared to look, only to find his onyx glare drilling into her. “Are you…?”

“I’m fine. I’m just sick of this.”

Sakura felt her heart beat increase rapidly, her stomach clenching. She swallowed. “Sick of what?”

“This. You coming home late, and then expecting me to tell you everything. It’s making me sick.” Sasuke turned away to stare out of the window.

Sakura felt tears sting the back of her eyes. She came to him cautiously, reaching out to touch him on the shoulder. Her fingers barely touched him when recoiled.

“Don’t touch me, Sakura. From now on you will come home when you’re supposed to.”

“Sasuke…” when did he get like this? Did Orochimaru give Sasuke part of his soul? He certainly seemed as careless and as cold. “Sasuke? Please…”

Sasuke whirled around, though he didn’t say anything. Sakura tried to swallow away the lump in her throat. “This isn’t like you, Sasuke. What happened to you?” She put her arms around him, burying her face into his chest.

And just like that, he pushed her away. He took no note of her tears, not bothering to apologize or to comfort her. Just as if he couldn’t give a fuck.
-

“Sakura-chan, I have to tell you…” Sakura could barely hear Naruto, she couldn’t respond. She felt so full, so dazed, her whole body burning up. She arched her hips to him, one of his hands slipped underneath her, resting on her backside, pulling her to him. He positioned his other hand underneath her head. His movements were getting much stronger, much more intense. He was reaching his limit.

“Yes, Naruto…tell me…” Naruto buried his head into her neck, sucking and nipping her flesh. Sakura dug her nails into his shoulders, dragging them slowly across his back. “Tell me…”

It was late; the time was drawing closer to early morning. Naruto hadn’t been able to sleep. That wasn’t unusual for him these days, though. As he turned over in his bed, nuzzling his pillow for some form of comfort, there was a knock on his door. He ignored it for a little while, hoping that maybe whoever it was would just go away.

They didn’t.

Grumbling, he kicked off his sheets, getting up to answer the door. “Hold on, I’m coming…”

He opened the door, half expecting a bucket of cold water to fall on him at any stage. Konohamaru did a lot of that these days. But, the joke was wearing a little bit thin.

“Listen I…S-Sakura-chan?” It had been…days? Weeks? Months, even? Months sounded just about right. He had stopped trying to talk to her or to even see her after she became Sasuke’s wife. “What’s wrong?”

Her head was down, her whole body wracked with sobs. She was hugging herself, trying to stop herself from shaking. “I’m heart sick, Naruto.” Sakura lifted her head, coming to him and leaning her head against his chest. “Can I…?”

Naruto patted her back and led her in, shushing her, trying his best to comfort her. “Hey, it’s alright. What happened?”

They sat down on his bed together, Sakura leaning into his arm, trying to hide her face. Naruto put his arms around her, stroking her hair and her back. She gazed up at him for a moment, her eyes full of pain. “I think I did something wrong, Naruto.”

She clutched him as he held her tighter. “Sasuke is being so cruel, Naruto. He won’t let me touch him, he shuts me out. He…” she broke into a new fit of sobs, unable to continue for a while.

“Shhh, its okay Sakura-chan. I’m here.”

“You don’t understand…it’s like he’s just using me, Naruto. He puts me down; he won’t even hold my hand. In public he acts like I’m a complete stranger. It’s like he’s ashamed of me. I don’t know what to do.”

“What did he do tonight?”

Sakura recounted every ugly detail and afterward, Naruto couldn’t speak. The way she was clutching him was so desperate, so unreal and so poignant.

“Naruto…can I stay with you tonight?” He had no other choice, no matter what the circumstances. He looked down at her once more. How could he say no? He loved her. “Of course, Sakura-chan.”
-

Naruto held Sakura tight, his body stiffening, and then slowly relaxing as he reached his end, shuddering and groaning as he came, a wave of pleasurable relief washing over him. They lay panting, chests rising and falling against one another, his hands still holding her to him.

“Naruto, tell me.” Sakura whispered, her hands caressing his back. He could feel her quivering fiercely beneath him.

“I love you.” And before she could say a word, he covered her lips with his own, his tongue tracing along her lips seeking entrance. He gently removed his hands from underneath her, easing himself off of her and lying down by her side, keeping his lips on her the whole time as best he could. Sakura pulled away, her emerald eyes glistening. Through those eyes, Naruto could see that he hadn’t healed her, she was still broken. A single tear rolled down her cheek, and before it fell from her chin, she closed the gap between them and placed her lips on his own expectant lips. Their tongues met, massaging against and with each other. His hand found hers, their fingers linked together, shaking and holding on with every bit of strength they had left.

...Earlier on that evening…

“Sasuke, what happened?” Sakura brandished a photo in front of Sasuke, tears prickling the end of her nose. It was her favourite photograph. A black and white shot of Sasuke holding her bridal style, their faces close, their noses pressed together. They weren’t smiling, just looking at each other with soft eyes.

Now, it was torn and nicked from when it fell off the bedroom wall and the glass smashed. “What happened?”

“Sakura, don’t raise your voice to me. It fell, it was an accident.”

Sakura laughed dryly, humorlessly. “It fell? Are you sure you didn’t smash it?”

“No, I didn’t.”

“Do you even care?” Sakura came to him, the photo now scrunched in her fist. “Tell me, Sasuke. Do you even care?”

Suddenly, Sasuke whirled around to face her, taking hold of her wrist. He forced the photo out of her hand, and then began to tear it into shreds. “No, I don’t fucking care.” He replied through gritted teeth, though his voice wasn’t raised. Just cold.

“Obviously. So tell me now, Sasuke, do you care about me? Tell me!” Sakura didn’t hold her tears back anymore. She let them fall freely.

Sasuke didn’t say anything; he just kept staring at her.

“No?”

Nothing.

“Sasuke, why did you marry me if you don’t care?”

Nothing, still.

“Sasuke! Tell me. Why did you marry me, if you don’t care about me?” She was shaking, fear and heart ache raging through her body.

“I’ll tell you why, Sakura. I married you so I could fuck you any time I wanted.”

Sakura felt the world stop. It took a few moments to register what he had just said. “…So you could…what?”

“That’s right. So I could fuck you any time I wanted. I had to fuck you first to revive my clan, didn’t I?”

Sakura staggered back away from him, hot tears stinging her eyes and her cheeks. “And I couldn’t fuck you without marrying you, either. All of Konoha would be calling you my whore by now if I hadn’t.”

“Your…your whore, Sasuke?”

“Oh come on, please don’t…”

“Don’t what? Cry? Oh no, you hate it when I do that. Because that means you’d have to comfort me. Which you hate. You hate touching me, like I’m a disease. Your whore? Oh my god…” Sakura groaned, covering her face momentarily. “Here,” she said, wrenching the gold band off of her finger, and flinging it at Sasuke. “Have this back. I don’t want it anymore.”

“Sakura, I’m sorry…”

“No! That’s the first time I’ve heard you say sorry to me. And it means nothing. I’m sorry I waited this long for you, I’m sorry I saved myself for you!"

Sasuke approached her then, bringing her into his arms. The first show of affection she had seen for a while. She tried to wriggle free, but his hold was too strong. “Forgive me.”
-

Sakura broke away from the kiss, unable to breathe, choking on her tears. “I can’t, Naruto…I am so sorry. I shouldn’t have made you do this.”

“Hey, hey, Sakura-chan. It’s alright. It’s killing me, but it’s okay. I love you, no matter what.”

Sakura shook her head, lying back down. “You can’t love me. I love Sasuke…”

“But he doesn’t love you. Sakura,” Naruto leaned over her, cupping her face in his hands. “Sakura, open your eyes and look at me.”

Sakura hesitated for a moment and then opened her eyes, tears spilling over, down onto the pillow beneath her. “He doesn’t love you, not like I do.”

Sakura tried to push him away, not wanting to hear it. Fearful that he may be right. “He does…”

“Sakura! He treats you like shit. He makes you cry. You both avoid me in public, but that doesn’t mean I don’t see it. Leave him, Sakura-chan,” Naruto finished in a whisper, kissing her lips again. “He’s not making you happy.”

“I can’t leave him,” Sakura replied feebly, seeing Naruto’s eyes were filled up with tears, too, but it looked as though he wasn’t about to let them fall. Everything he had said was true.

But Sasuke…

She truly loved Sasuke.

“You can! If you left him, you could come to me and…”

Sakura shook her head, unable to stop crying. “Hey, Sakura-chan, listen to me. Listen…” Naruto lowered his voice, resting his forehead on hers, “I would never, ever put you down. I would love you in every way I could. And we would spend every night like this.”

“By this you mean damaged and upset?” Sakura couldn’t look away from him, not even if she wanted to.

“No…I would make love to you, and hold you afterwards until you fell asleep. Because that’s what you deserve.”

Sakura sighed. “That would be so nice, Naruto. But I can’t. Sasuke would make our lives hell.”

“I know, but I’d risk that.”

Sakura and Naruto lay silent. He wiped away her tears. She rubbed her nose against his.

“What now, Naruto? It’s all so complicated now.”

Naruto sighed. “If you’re not willing to leave Sasuke,” He kissed her forehead, “go home and show him your indifferent face and indifferent heart, and I will do the same.”

Sakura chewed her lip. “And then what?”

“And then, if you need to, come again. Maybe, hopefully, by that time, you will have changed you mind.”

Naruto watched her exit the bathroom in her own clothes. She stood at the edge of his bed, clenching her hands to her chest. She whispered goodbye, but Naruto couldn’t look at her. She left without speaking again.

His sheets smelled like her. He tried not to inhale, which made it now impossible for sleep to take him.

Three a.m…

Blink.

Three fifteen a.m…

Blink.

No, tonight there would be no sleep. Just like always.