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Sunday, May 4, 2008

I Can See Him

I Can See Him
Author: cresent-lunette

He just won’t shut up

He just won’t shut up. I’ve even told him straight up to be quiet, but his stupid mouth keeps going and going and going.

“Guess what! Guess what happened today!”

The same thing every morning. We go and meet out teacher. Wait a while. He talk and talks and talks. I try ignoring him by talking to the love of my life.

No good, it seems.

I’ve told him over and over that he was a loser. He’s told him over and over that he was a loser. And he just won’t get it.

Stupid, stupid boy.

“Sensei, where have you been? We’ve been waiting forever.”

“My, ah, apologies. I got caught up in a tragic situation at home.”

“Like what? Running out of toilet paper?”

I can tell Sensei doesn’t like the nitwit either. Everyone knows. Everyone can tell that the knucklehead is disliked all around. Besides, he makes up such stupid jokes all the time. Running out of toilet paper as a home emergency – only something an idiot would be capable of conjuring up.

“Uhm, no. Not at all… Now for our mission today… And be sure to not mess it up this time.”

--

The love of my life has gone. Gone away forever…

If only that dumbass knew how much I blamed him. It was all his fault that he left, after all, wasn’t it? It was all his fault.

All his fucking fault.

So now it’s just me, him, and Sensei. How the hell am I going to stand it? The only reason why I could stand Dumbass was because of my love in the first place. But no, Dumbass had to go and drive him away. With his incredible stupidity. All he did was bother him. Dumbass would blabber on about how he and my Sweetie were equal. How unfortunate – everyone thinks otherwise.

“Okay, kids, you’re going on a mission today. No complaining.”

“Aww, but Sensei…”

“Alright! Sweet!”

Great. Stuck on a mission alone with Dumbass. It’s not what I need, especially since my Sweetie went and left me for someone else. I can’t deal with all that stress… and all Dumbass is going to do is try to get me alone and get into my pants! That’s all he wants. He won’t stop trying to impress me and professing his ‘love’ for me. I’m reaching my wit’s end!

So Sensei, Dumbass and I start out on our trek through the forest. We have to go to the nearest village and pick up some goods. Our travel is going to take a day, so we have to spend the night in the woods. I hope Dumbass doesn’t try molesting me in the middle of the night – I caught him sneaking into my tent once, about four months ago. I didn’t tell Sensei because he begged so much to keep it quiet. I have no clue why I didn’t tell.

The scenery is nice. I like the meadows we happen to cross. They’re always filled with the most beautiful flowers, and the air smells so nice and sweet. Unfortunately Dumbass seems to make the air stink, and since he tries to cling to me as much as he can, I can’t smell the flowers as much as I want. He wipes his grimy fingers on my skin when he tries holding my hand, he gets dirt all over my dress, he tries to touch my hair… It gets really old really fast.

After traveling for a few hours, Sensei made camp in a clearing. “We’ll rest here for now, I think. I have to go and run a few errands, so I might be a while. You guys wait here.”

Alone with Dumbass…

Five minutes later I decide to play a ‘game’ with Dumbass. I pretend to faint and don’t respond to Dumbass. He starts to call for help, thinking something tragic has happened to me.

When his back is turned, I strike him with a kunai. Next thing I know, I see nothing but blood. Blood on my hands, blood on my dress, blood on Dumbass. I didn’t mean to do it. Not that much.

He falls limp to the ground, crying out in obvious pain. He was writhing and looking up at me, confused. “Wh-What was that for?”

I glare at him. Well, since I started it, I might as well finish it. I kick him onto his back and throw the kunai down, hitting him in the stomach. He starts gushing blood from his mouth, the packed-down dirt pooling with the warm sticky liquid. It’s fascinating to watch.

Not five minutes later he stops moving. My heart seems to stop as his stops, too. Why did I do it? My mind starts racing. What will I tell Sensei when he gets back?

I make some preparations. First I have to take care of his body. I quarter his body and divide the limbs into decent-sized chunks. His body parts start traveling everywhere, finding themselves in front of fox dens and in the middle of wolf packs. Thrown at passing travelers. Thrown in streams, eaten by fish, anything to get rid of his body. Pretty soon there’s no more trace of his body except for the puddle of blood he left behind. I tried my hardest to make it look like we were ambushed.

And I fell to the ground.

And waited.

I didn’t have to wait long. My sensei came along about fifteen minutes after I knocked myself out with a huge branch. When I woke up, I was in a hospital bed. Nurses were looming over me, alerting one another that I had finally regained consciousness.

“She’s awake!”

“Is she really?”

“Yeah, after six hours…”

I must have hit myself pretty hard. I test the waters with a question.

“Wh-What… happened?”

Sensei was in the room, sitting next to me. He dropped his gaze for a moment, then made eye contact with me again.

I drop my gaze, pretending like a professional. “Where’d he go?”

He clears his throat and fidgets slightly. “Well, you see, I know you didn’t like him and all.” The room fell silent for a minute. “But he’s gone.”

--

“Hikaru, you’re so funny.” My new boyfriend is so cute. He reminds me so much of my past crush – with his hair, his clothes, his face, his attitude. Well, he’s not as mean as the other, and he actually likes me back. He’s all I think about now. I completely forget about what I did to Dumbass when I’m around him – all I see is his face.

Everyone thinks I’m a lovesick innocent girl who suffered a tragedy. It’s almost sickening how the others believe me so easily.

So foolish.

“Bye, Hikaru!” I give him a kiss goodbye, a thousand other things on my mind. Did I dispose of Dumbass well enough?

I hope so. I know Sensei’s nose is excellent. Did they track it all down to me? I doubt it. It’s not impossible, though.

I run into someone.

Literally.

I fall on my ass, dazed. “Who the fuck…?” The girl I ran into was flustered and irritated. I’m assuming she’s PMSing, because she yells at me and storms off immediately after. I grumble to myself and get up, heading for home.

“Welcome home, honey!” My mother greets me with her usual smile and open arms. I embrace her and head to my room.

My journal is on my bedside table, old and crinkled, water damaged… Even though it’s got all this damage, I still keep it. I pick it up and start writing.

Dear journal,

Not much happened today. Hikaru is so sweet – he took me to the park and bought me an ice cream. He seemed to know my favorite flavor, too! I don’t remember telling him what it was. Maybe it was obvious; I always choose strawberry whenever there’s a selection.

Anyway. A lot’s been on my mind! I can’t figure out what I’m supposed to do about Dumbass. He’s gone now, but it’s haunting me. And I think there’s something following me – sometimes I hear a voice, but nobody’s there. And something touches me, too, like my hair or my arm. It’s creeping me out!! Almost like there’s a ghost following me everywhere I go. Do you think it’s him? Do you think he’s come back to haunt me? If so, he’s doing a good job.

Journal, I don’t know what I would have done without you. You keep all my secrets for me, and you kept through it all, through thick and thin. You’re damaged, but you provide what I need. You’re quiet, but you listen. You never move, but you’re always there for me.

I think Sensei knows I did it. He acts like he knows nothing about it, but he sometimes hints every so once in a while. I never know if he’s going to come out and just ask me if I did it. If he does, of course, you know I’ll deny it all.

Much love

I put my diary down and lay on my bed, suddenly tired.

An hour later my mom calls me down for dinner. Grudgingly I get up, so sleepy. So sore.

“Help yourself.” My mother and father had already started dishing up. We’re having dumplings and rice, with baked fish and pads of rice wrapped up in seaweed with fish eggs to garnish. My mother always worked to make something tasty.

After twenty minutes, my mother breaks the awkward silence.

“Didn’t that boy get kidnapped or killed or something a while back?”

“Yeah, mom, I thought you knew. You must have forgotten…”

“I wonder what happened to him.”

“I don’t know, Mom; he’d been missing for weeks. We can’t find him.”

“Such a pity. And he was such a nice boy…”

I frown at my rice, picking it apart. Every night we had rice. Every night my mother brings something up that’s sensitive. Every night she asks questions, annoying the crap out of me. I love her and everything, but sometimes I wish she would just leave me alone.

“I’m going to my room. I feel sick.” I get up and leave, my plate half-eaten. My mother sighs and waves her hand, dismissing me.

--

“Oh, Hikaru…”

Necking, my favorite form of kissing. He’s attached to my neck… it feels so good.

And then my eyes see him.

Him, who I thought was dead, he who I thought I killed so long ago.

Naruto Uzumaki was standing right in front of me, watching Hikaru and I with a pained expression.

I scream, starting to tremble. Hikaru straightens himself, alarmed. “What’s wrong, baby?”

“N-Naruto?”

He looks at me, dumbstruck. Then his voice rings out, melancholy and dull. “Sakura?”

I black out.

And then I wake up to find Hikaru worried as hell. “What happened, sugar?” He was looking around wildly to see what scared me so. I shake my head, dumbfounded and dazed. I can see him, on the ground and now covered in blood. He calls out again, nearly sobbing.

“Why, Sakura…?”

I start to cry.

Why did I do it?

Why is he haunting me, why does he torture me so?

The one I hated so much…

Why, Naruto…?

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