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Sunday, May 4, 2008

Just Go

I’m taking a break from my long-term fictions (and working on that darn HTML for my website that is so annoying), and I’ve been listening to a lot of Jesse McCartney lately, and I was listening to this when I thought, Hey! That’d make a great one-shot! So, here it is: Just Go. This fiction is in a AU.

Disclaimer: I don’t own Naruto, or any of it’s characters. They belong to Masashi Kishimoto-sama. I don’t own the song “Just Go” by Jesse McCartney.

WARNING(S): One-sided Yaoi (boyxboy), mild language. [PAIRING(S)]: {NaruHina} -- Don’t like it? DONT READ IT.
Just Go
By: Rikotsu-sama

I sigh, watching the tinted-blue snowflakes hit the ground and grass; melting
instantly on the sidewalk. The sky was painted with scratchy gray and
black hues. Hundreds of unique little snowdrops fall around me, catching in
my blonde hair and on my black coat. It was less than a year ago when I
wrestled in the snow with him, since the day I told him how I felt.

I trusted you
Yeah that would be my first mistake
Yeah I...I've been lied to
Your eyes are ice cold blue
A mirror of the heart inside of you


“Damn it, Sasuke!” I growled, flipping him over in the snow-covered grass so
that I was now the one on top.
“Just try and damn me, Dobe!” He mocked me with the same nickname he
had placed on my head in grade school, flipping me over again. “I doubt it
will be as easy as you think.” He chucked at me as my cerulean eyes glared
up at him with mustered intensity.
“Oh yeah? Just watch me, Sasuke-teme!” I shouted in his face. We rolled
and struggled childishly on the snowy hill for a few minutes until the ravenhaired
man successfully pinned me to the ground. “God damn it,” I swore
under my breath, “why can I never beat you?”
“Because you’re weak, Naruto. That’s why.” Sasuke replied, knowing full well
that I hadn’t been directing my whispered words at him.
“I’m not weak, Sasuke!” I yelled at him, looking deep into those onyx eyes.
My voice lowered to near inaudibility as I added, “Except towards you...”
“What do you mean, “except towards me”?” Sasuke asked in genuine wonder:
something that rarely escaped the man’s lips in verbal form.
“I uh...” I mumbled, not expecting him to have heard what I had whispered
to myself; and yet, in the back of my mind, I did want him to hear what I
had said. “I um...”
“Just spit it out, Dobe!” There he went with my old nickname again.
“I love you!” I spat out, turning my head to the side to avoid those piercing
black eyes.
He only laughed. It was not hearty nor flirty, nor light or happy it was hurtful.
He wasn’t laughing with me, he was indeed laughing at me. At my confession.
I knew he would, Sasuke was not gay or bisexual, but I was. I was
on the verge of tears when his body lifted from mine and he simply walked
away. I had to assume he rejected me, otherwise he would’ve said something,
anything at all: but he didn’t. Not a single word slipped through those
chilled lips on that snowy day in January; not a single snowy word.

o.0.End Flashback.0.o

You can't walk back in my life
You had your chance to be by my side
I don't have to hear you cry to know

Now, as I stand here in the first snow-fall of the winter, I’ve discovered that
I’m over him. Like those snowflakes, it has melted away to nothing. I smile
and look up at the dark mid-day sky. I wonder why I chose now to start
thinking about him again. It’s been so long since I thought about him, since
I thought about what could have been between us. Oh well, its nothing to
worry about now, now is it?

I start walking down the damp sidewalk towards my destination: her house.
She said she had something for me today. I can only wonder what it is. She
bought herself a new dress, maybe? Maybe a new sofa or new incense?
Probably not. But who knows? Something can be anything.
As I stroll down the street, I see a familiar spiky, raven-colored, haircut in
the distance. The man looks right at me, but his onyx eyes seem to look
through me. Some would say he was looking at my soul, maybe my heart,
but let me tell you: those people would be wrong. He was looking through
my eyes at my emotions. Were they happy? Sad? Shocked at seeing him?
Those were the questions he wanted answers for. I am indeed shocked a bit
at seeing him after such a long time, but, other than that, I am indifferent in
seeing him again. This, apparently, surprises him: seeing as when I walk up
and stop in front of him, he does not move. When he doesn’t say anything, I
think it best to just keep walking, if he wanted to talk to me, he would have.
Before I can take a second step, a strong, muscular arm grabs hold of my
left tricep.

“Why are you so nonchalant, Naruto?” I can hear the plea in his voice as I
turn around to look at him. At my height of six foot one, I have to look down
at him, albeit only two inches. I chuckle at the confusion in his usually sure,
black eyes.

“Why did you not say anything to me a year ago, SASUKE?” I reply to his
question with a question of my own: something I would never have done to
him a year ago. I watch as pain surges through his eyes, its wrath deadly.

“Naruto...” His voice was now near a whimper. I never knew Sasuke to be
the type to lower to the level as to beg someone to answer a question. He
used to be much more threatening than that. Just how much has changed in
this last year apart?

Just go
I gave you my word and I promised to love you
Go, it's over
You had your chance
Just go
There's nothing inside me that still feels connected to you
To me you're already gone

“Because you left me, Sasuke. You left me alone, cold, and crying in the
snow last January. Something like that really makes a difference in one’s
freshmen year of college.”

“But I—”

“There’s no excuse for what you did, Sasuke.”

“You said you loved me, Naruto. Love is something that never goes away.
Why would you be any exception?”

“Since when did you care about people loving you? Since when did you care
about people at all?” I can finally hear the venom in my own words, the
claws on the questions. I suspect those poisonous claws are ripping Sasuke’s
heart apart at this very moment, but I don’t care: his heart is of no value to
me anymore. “Ever since your family was killed back in middle school,
you’ve never been the same, Sasuke. You ditched me to be alone, you
wouldn’t show up to school some days for no reason at all, you became
more reserved than your own shadow. I worried about you for nearly seven
years until you started to be open with me. I thought I had finally cheered
you up, maybe gotten through to you, but no. When I was finally open to
you, you just ignored me. You walked away from me without a word. With a
damn word, Sasuke! I was a full-grown man sitting in a park in the snow
blubbering like a fucking baby. And you were the cause of it, you were why I
spent half a year with nearly-failing grades. You were why, Sasuke! It was all
your fault. Why do you think that I could fall in love with a man that would
just leave me like that. I could never fall in love with something that could
not love me back: something heartless.”

I got a new love now
She's my new love now
And she loves me so
Takes me where you never took me
Although you tried too
Her eyes they read so true
So different from the way it was with you

“I’m not heartless, Naruto, and I never was.” The hurt was as plain as day as
it drizzled off his words and glazed his eyes.

“Oh really? You sure acted like it a year ago.”

“Naruto, believe me—”

“Why should I believe you, Sasuke? You’ve never given me reason to trust
you, no reason to think that you’re telling me the truth.”

“Naruto, I love you.” I laugh at this, just as he did at me then. He’s given me
no reason to believe what he is saying is true, no reason to return the emotions.

I cannot contain my laughter.

“You took away my happiness without batting an eyelash, why should I be
any less harsh?!” I can see the weight of agony weighing heavily on his

I don't need you in my life
Forgot what it's like to be satisfied
I don't wanna hear you cry 'cause I know

Ring. Ring. Ring.

My laughing is cut short by my cell phone. I dig deep in the denim pockets of
my worn black jeans for my black flip phone. I snap it open and put it to my

“Hello?” I answer into the phone. “Oh, I’m only a few blocks away. I’m having
a chat with an old friend...Sorry, sorry. I didn’t know this was that urgent.
I’ll be there in five, maybe ten minutes okay, Baby?” I watch Sasuke’s
eyes widen with shock as I address the person on the other side of the
phone with a lover’s nickname. Ah, so he truly does care. “Mmhm, okay. See
you in a few,” I chuckle, “Kiss, kiss to you too, Baby. Okay, Bye.” I snap the
phone shut and shove it back into the depths of my pocket.

“Sorry to cut this wonderful conversation short, but I’m needed elsewhere.” I
say, before turning to leave.

His hold still firm on my wrist, the raven-haired man demands, “Who was

“None of your business, Sasuke.”

“I’m making it my business.”

I turn back to yet another heated gaze from those dazzling onyx eyes. “My
fiancée is who that was.”

“Fiancée?!” Sasuke growls back at me, anger enflaming his black orbs.

“Yeah. Got a problem with that, Teme?” I hiss, snatching my arm out of his

“So, when’s the wedding?” he asks after a few moments of silence, except
the roars of distant car engines in the cold and for a airplane overhead.

“Tomorrow,” I answer off-handedly.

Just go
I gave you my word and I promised to love you
Go, it's over
You had your chance
Just go
There's nothing inside me that still feels connected to you
To me you're already gone

“Your wedding is tomorrow and you didn’t talk to me at all?!” Sasuke demands,
acting as though I care at all.

“I’m sorry that I didn’t think I needed your permission to get married,
Sasuke!” I shout at him, unable to keep my anger bottled up from the past
year anymore. “I didn’t think I needed the permission of the ex-friend that I
hadn’t talked to in a year to get married! I don’t think I need anyone’s permission,
Sasuke! Let alone, yours!”

“You could’ve at least told me before the eve of the wedding!”

I snicker, “Oh yeah right! Just walk up to you, when I haven’t talked to you
in nearly a year and say ‘Oh, hey, did you know that I’m getting married in
December?’ Get real, Sasuke! You can’t just saunter back into my life after a
year of abandoning me and expect me to still love you! Life doesn’t work
that way, Princess! You don’t always get what you want!”

“I’m not a dumbass, Naruto! I’m not so shallow as to not know that I don’t
always get what I want!”

“You never acted like it! You were Mommy and Daddy’s little baby. You’re in
the richest class in Tokyo, so even after your family died you still had all the
money you needed to get servants to buy you whatever the hell you wanted.
You always got what you want, Sasuke!” I spit at him, “But this is the real
world, not the Uchiha mansion! You can’t buy my love, Sasuke!”

Takin' a look at these photographs
Fightin' my tears I try to relax
'Cause you came and you left and it all went by so fast

I can see now that even the impenetrable Uchiha fortress of ice is beginning
to shatter, Sasuke is on the verge of tears.

“So, Sasuke, you can just stay her and drown in your misery, because
frankly, I don’t give a damn about you anymore.”

“Naruto...” The first, crystalline tear drips from the Uchiha Heir’s onyx eye.

He is beginning to whimper again, the way he said my name was drenched
in lust. I almost begin to laugh again, the irony of the situation is very funny.

“What, Sasuke?” I snap at him, “Did you expect me to just fall back into
your arms, whimper your name over and over again as you whisked me
away to a magical land where we would live happily ever after? I never
thought that the boy I had known for going on eleven years now, would be
quite that stupid. I never expected him to think anything even close to that,
but I guess I shouldn’t expect that of you either, since you are obviously not
the Sasuke Uchiha I almost fell in love with a year ago.”

“I’m still him, Nar—”

“Just shut up, Sasuke. You’re not the man I knew all my life. He never denied
who and what he was, he never cried, and he never cared about anyone,
let alone loved them. You need to stop pretending to be the person
you’re not. Sasuke Uchiha disappeared along with the snow last January.
Just as did my love for him.”

I move to leave once more, but, yet again, a strong arm pulls me back, but
this time, it tugs me into a ragged kiss. I swiftly push him away, wiping the
kiss of my mouth and spitting on the frozen ground.

“What the fuck, Sasuke? Why won’t you just go? Go away, get away, anything
that would make you become further away from me? This conversation
has not closed the distance between us that you made a year ago. As much
as you’d love to believe that this is all an act, and that you can still win me
back with rough kisses and promises of love and happiness, you can’t. Nothing
will change my mind, Sasuke! This is the eve of my wedding, and a longlost
ex-friend coming along isn’t going to change that I love my fiancée.
There’s a reason why I proposed to her, there’s a reason why I’m getting
married, Sasuke! Did you ever think of that? Did you ever once think that
the reason I had a fiancée was because I was in love with someone else? Did
you? No! You didn’t! I plan to spend the rest of my life with her, Sasuke! I
was well ready to do that with you a year ago, but you let me down, you
abandoned me! You lost your chance, Sasuke! You can never have my love
again! You’re not part of my life anymore, Sasuke!”

Just go
I gave you my word and I promised to love you
Go, it's over
You had your chance
Just go
There's nothing inside me that still feels connected to you
To me you're already gone

With that, I leave him in the snow. I assume that, to him, that the snow is
more lonely than cold this year, and that it will be just as lonely in the years
to come. As he’s out of sight, I burst into a run, Hinata is going to be angry
at me for being so late, but she’ll understand.

I soon arrive on what is to be my new front-doorstep in a matter of days,
and nock on the mahogany door. After half a minute or two, a warm smile
opens the door, and beckons me in. She helps me take off my coat, hang it
on the rack, and we sit down, side-by-side on the sofa that was placed in
front of the fireplace. A fire was burning strong on half a dozen pieces of
chopped wood. Her living room has always been nice and cozy. I shiver a bit,
seeing as I was out in the cold for a much longer time than I had expected
to have been. I breathe into my hands and stick them out towards the fire
for warmth.

“So, who was the old friend you were chatting with, Naruto-kun?” She asks
sweetly, wrapping a warm blanket around both of us as she snuggled up
against me.

“Oh, no one memorable, Hinata-chan.” I answer, wrapping my arms around
her lithe waist. “It was kind of funny though, they were surprised that we
didn’t invite them to the wedding.” I chuckle at the memory of only minutes
before that seems as though it was already an eternity ago.

“Really? I thought we invited all your friends.” She wondered aloud, snuggling
her head in the crook of my neck, and breathing in a large breath of
my scent.

“We did, Sweetie, we did. This old friend and I aren’t really too much of
friends anymore. We hadn’t spoken in almost a year until today.” I could feel
my fingers tingling as she rubbed them softly with her thumb. I was quickly
regaining all of the feeling in my wintry body.

“You saw Sasuke today, didn’t you, Baby?” Hinata asks quietly.

“Yes. Yes I did.”

Just go
I gave you my word and I promised to love you
Go, it's over
You had your chance
Just go
There's nothing inside me that still feels connected to you
To me you're already gone
Oh to me you’re already gone

For the next few minutes we just lay here, now curled up with each other on
the couch under the down blanket, neither of us uttering a word. Hinata has
always been tentative when we were on the subject of Sasuke because she
knew that I had once been in love with him. I now feel that there is no need
to tell her that Sasuke confessed his love for me today. That could only make
problems for us, and I wanted absolutely nothing to spoil my wedding
night, not even Sasuke.

“So, what was it you had for me?” I ask absentmindedly.

“Oh, that’s right. It’s just a bit of news that I wanted to tell you in person,”
the navy-haired woman answered, sitting up to look me in my sky blue eyes.

“I want you go guess first though.”

“Um, Sakura and Kakashi are finally engaged?”

“Nooooo. They’re still too shy around one another to go off and get married.”

“Okay, uh, Shikamaru and Temari are together?”

“No, but Ino is dating Kiba now.”

“Wow, that’s weird.” We both took a moment to ponder the insanity of what
would happen if Ino and Kiba got serious. We simultaneously shuddered.

“C’mon, guess, Naruto!” She insisted.

“I don’t know. You know I’m not good at guessing! Just tell me.”

She leaned over and whispered in my ear, “I’m pregnant.”

I got a new love now
I trusted you
And that would be my first mistake

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